The Assistant
by LEArtemis
Summary: She struggles with body issues and he's there to make her understand that she can be his one and only. Trevor/OC pairing. Rated M for future chapters
1. Old Habits

**A/N:** This story was birthed through a submission. I hope and pray that I did it justice.

Describing Noa's body type, think about Iskra Lawrence or Khrystyana Kazakova. And, yes she is darker complected, think Thandy Newton or Zoe Saldana.

On to the story now, I hope you guys like it!

* * *

 _ **Old Habits**_

I stood in front of the mirror, scrutinizing my every curve, dip, and give. Life had been a bitch to me and I was only twenty-eight. I grabbed at my fleshy stomach and scoffed in disgust. I looked at my meaty thighs and cringed. I turned my hips outwards to glance at my bottom, the only good thing on my body… well, _one_ of the good things on my body. I looked and felt disgusting but I couldn't stop gnawing at the bagel in my hands. I breathed in deeply and released the gust of wind through my nose. It was now or never, I needed to get dressed if I wanted to make breakfast at my mother's and make it out of there in time for my interview. I was interviewing for the position of Executive Assistant at a law firm, a very prestigious law firm. I took the last bite out of my bagel and walked to my closet where I had set out my outfit for the day, above the ankle black skinny slacks, a white button down blouse, and a cream short jacket. I smiled at my ensemble, the same one I had worn for my very first day at my PR firm in Spain.

I quickly got dressed and straightened my already straight shoulder-length hair. I applied some mascara and a burgundy stain to my plump lips and made it out of my Harlem apartment. Outside, I hailed a cab to my mother's apartment in Tremont. It was a quick fifteen-minute ride that I had no problem in making, except of course, when my sister was involved. I could already hear my mother's nagging and my sister's bickering about my weight, my age, and the fact that I was still single and nearing _that age_ in where a woman was no longer desirable. I sighed and shook my head as I rested it on the backseat's headrest. I blinked slowly and took in the sights of the city's early morning hustle. New York was nothing like Spain and though, having grown up my entire life in the Bronx, leaving it was no problem.

During my college years at NYU, I'd met an exchange student in my same field of study and he had said that there were better opportunities in Spain when it came to publicity, especially if you could dominate with ease the English language. Getting to where I had gotten to had been no walk in the park and I couldn't wait to be away and truly independent. I'd move to Madrid with a full and completed offer from a major PR firm with a five-year contract that was later extended into two more years. After having spent the better part of my twenties in a foreign city that later on became home, I began missing the city. The city that had molded and shaped me into the woman that I was now, so I returned with no job offer but with a hefty savings account. I took three months to settle back in and get in the groove of things and though, I was not ready to return to the expeditious environment of a PR firm, I was in need of a job and what better way to ease myself into it than as an assistant of some sorts. No, it wasn't the same but let's face it, being a publicist for several major companies and one for a person typically meant 'making them look good' and what better way to make someone look good than through his assistant?

"We're here miss, it'll be fifteen even," said the cab drive, interrupting my thoughts.

I reached in my purse and handed him a twenty-dollar bill as I uttered my thanks.

I stepped out of the cab and stared at my mother's building, the same building for nearly thirty years and she had no plans in moving and/or leaving this wretched place, "Here goes nothing," I mumbled under my breath.

I made it to the door and punched the combination to unlock the door. Once inside I noticed the renovations made to the building and was mildly impressed. Granted, I had not stepped foot in my childhood home since I left for Madrid. I made my way up to the fifteenth floor and gently knocked on my mother's door. I heard the faint 'it's open' from the inside and pushed the door open, rolling my eyes as I reminded myself of how things would probably never change around here. Inside of the newly remodeled dwelling the smell of coffee engulfed my nostrils and I smiled, _something familiar, finally!_ I chuckled to myself and placed my purse on the living room chair as I made my way to the kitchen. Everything was new! New cabinetry, new floors, new countertops, new stove, new microwave, and what was that; a dishwasher, in a Puerto Rican's home? Dead. My brows rose and nearly reached my forehead at the sight of the foreign contraption in my mother's kitchen, "Ay, Noa! You're here, finally," said my mother standing on her tippy toes to reach my neck, "And, I see you've gained some weight too," she said, grabbing at my stomach.

I rolled my eyes and pushed her hands away, "¿Ya vas a empezar, Mami? Jesus, and you complain why I haven't here since I came back. You always have something to say about my damned weight."

My mother waved her hand over her shoulder as she continued with breakfast, "Whatever, go get Sara, she said she was getting ready."

"Pfft," I said, searching the cupboards for a mug so that I could pour my coffee, "It's barely seven thirty Ma, she's probably putting her make-up on."

"Well," my mother begun as she turned her head, "she's making the effort, unlike you."

Again, I rolled my eyes and felt the threat of a headache quickly approaching. I didn't respond, it had always been this way. My mother favored my sister because she was everything I was not. She was a 'womanly height', thin, and did everything my mother said. I, in the other hand, was an Amazonian of a woman, voluptuous, and challenged my mother in every way that I could. My father, Lord rest his soul, was my parent and he supported me in everything I did. Even when I decided to go against my mother's wishes to joint the talent agency and instead went for sports, softball on top of it all. I heard the clicking of heels and rolled my eyes once more as I maneuvered my way out of the kitchen and to the table, "So, you're just going to be rude and not say good morning to me or anything?"

I rolled my eyes and smirked, "I was here before you came out, el que llega es el que saluda."

She chuckled and approached me, kissing me on my cheek, "I thought you had an interview today, is that what you're wearing?"

I glared at her through my lashes, "Don't start, I already have enough with Mami commenting on my weight and getting on my nerves because you try and I don't."

Sara and I though completely different, always tried to embrace our difference but our mother, could never see that and Sara took advantage of that. She defended and advocated for me where she could but for the most part, she remained quiet, "Ay, pay her no mind. Mami will be that way 'til the day she dies."

"I'm listening to the both of you!" Our mother yelled from the kitchen, "So, shut it up si no quieren que le eche tres pasitos to the food."

Sara and I giggled and fell into chatter, finally catching up after seven years of not seeing each other, "So, tell me, how was Madrid?"

I lit up at the mention of Madrid, "Amazing! I don't think you'll like it there. It's less fast-paced than here but I think you'll like the dating pool," I hinted at the men.

"Oooh, tell me about that. Did you manage to meet somebody while you were there?" she gently prodded, knowing well my sister didn't care about my dating life but my mother did.

"Did Mami put you up to this?"

Sarah rolled her eyes and pursed her lips, "Can't I have a conversation about men with my big sister?"

"No, because you've never cared about my dating life and I know seven years apart didn't make you start caring, Sara!" I said with a smirk on my lips, leaning forward near her.

She slumped back in the chair, "Fine, Mami did ask me to find out."

At that our mother came out of the kitchen with two plates of food, "I can't trust with anything, Sara. Sheesh, you're such a pushover when it comes to this one," our mother said as she set our plates in front of us.

I looked down at my plate and noticed what my mother had done. She had offered me less food than my sister purposefully. I had no bread on my plate and had egg whites instead of the whole egg, I had turkey sausage instead of bacon, and I had a serving of yogurt with chia seeds instead of fruit. My sister and I looked each other and nodded, exchanging plates and laughing. I laughed on the outside but on the inside I knew why my mother had done what she had done. It was her way of telling me to control my mouth and get in shape but this had always been my shape. Ever since puberty came knocking on my door, this was my shape. I was a five foot ten inch woman with hips, thighs, and ass for days. I was a major foodie, thanks to our father's profession, and because of that, I had the extra pounds to show for it. I wasn't heavy set by any means but I was a size ten in pants whilst my sister was a perfect size two. I shook my head and ate in silence, fully enjoying the meal in front of me.

Our mother joined us and began chatter with Sara about something at her job. I was too focused on holding back my tears that I didn't even notice when the women in front of me addressed me for what seemed like third time, "Noa!"

"Huh?"

"Mami asked if the job is at a firm or someplace else?" Sara repeated herself.

"Oh, I'm not working for a PR firm. If I get it, it'll be a lawyer firm," I responded, nibbling at some grapes.

"Lawyers?" my mother said in disgust, "What do lawyers know about publicity?"

I rolled my eyes not wanting to get into this argument with my mother, especially not now, "Ma, you do know that my degree allows me to be flexible with what I do, right?"

"Yea, but your father and I didn't work so hard to put you through college so that you can go be a _secretary_ ," she mumbled.

I scoffed in disbelief; not believing what my mother was saying, "Are you kidding me, right now?" I was in awe. Sara gave me a pleading look and shielded her face with her long curtain of hair before mouthing 'please' towards me. _No, fuck that,_ " _You_ didn't do anything to put me through college, Mami. That was all Papi and I, you couldn't even be bothered to come to a single game of mine."

"Noa, please," my sister pleaded again.

"No Sara, please nothing. At first it was why do you want to play a sport where you have to be outside in the sun and get dirty, then it was are you a lesbian because Carmen said that a lot of the girls on the team have girlfriends, and when I got my scholarship it was, really, they're paying for you to go play for them and you choose public relations as your major?" I glared at my mother who had continued with her breakfast as if the conversation was completely casual, "It's never good enough for you, is it Mami? I'm never good enough for you."

"You don't know what you're talking about," she mentioned and averted her eyes from me.

I scoffed and threw my fork down on my plate, "Of course, avoid the conversation altogether, mother. That's what you're good at. That and telling me how much I need to lose weight," I paused momentarily, thinking for a second that comment would catch her attention, it didn't. I shook my head in disbelief and pushed the chair back, "Fucking unbelievable," oh, but that did.

"How dare you cuss in my house?" she seethed.

"Oh," I chuckled sarcastically, " _that_ you can't handle but Sara fucking under your roof is completely acceptable?"

My mother and I held gazes, challenging each other through our eyes. I was not backing down, I didn't do so then as a teenager and I was certainly not doing it now. She gave in first, "Get out."

I shook my head once more and bit my lip, "With pleasure," I relented as I stood, walking towards the living room chair and grabbing my purse. I bypassed the women in the dining room table without conceding the decency of eye contact or verbal acknowledgment. I was seething and my morning had been ruined, I wanted nothing else than to leave that apartment where scenarios like the one that had just happened, occurred one too many times for me to actually count and remember but they were there and they had happened, that much I knew.

I stopped at the door momentarily thinking that maybe I had pushed too hard but once I heard that my mother had fallen back into simple chatter like nothing had happened placed everything in perspective and I was gone. I walked down the hallway, punching the down button to the elevator. I stewed in my anger as I waited for the elevator. In my younger years, I cried but it had happened so much that, truly, what was the point of crying right now? Honestly, what was it? I growled and tapped my foot furiously on the ground, anxiously expecting the arrival of the metal contraption that could have me on ground level and away from everything in a few short seconds. I walked forward and pressed the button repeatedly, growling and cursing at the slowness of it all. I kicked the wall and released a gust of wind through my nose, closing my eyes, and running my fingers through my hair, bunching them at the crown of my head. I needed to calm down, being this angry could be detrimental in my interview process and I was not about to screw up this opportunity just because my mother had managed to get under my skin once more.

As I'm willing my temper down, the bell for the elevator dinged and I watched as the doors slowly opened. I stepped inside the cabin and made it to the ground level. Outside the air felt rather calming. It was a cool embrace that spring awarded and I breathed easily. I closed my eyes and fluttered them open with a smile as I remembered a quote my father used to tell me about spring's breeze, "… _love is carried on the breeze_ ," he'd said. As I felt the ends of my hair tickling my cheeks I chuckled to myself and nodded. A breeze, whether it was a spring one, a nippy one, or a wet one always reminded me of my father and that quote; it's all I felt when I felt the fleeting wind in my hair, _love_.

I walked towards the curb and hailed a cab. I knew it was going to be an almost forty-dollar cab fare but I wanted a quiet ride and I really wasn't in the mood to take the subway, "392 Park Ave South," I mumbled to the cab driver. He nodded and begun the journey to Upper East Side of Manhattan which is where I hoped to have a job soon enough. I sat back again, but this time I couldn't concentrate on the people on the outside, this time I could only focus on the words that had came out of my mother's mouth and at the ones my sister could not say. All she could do was beg for me to not open my mouth and not tongue-lash our mother but she'd seen this one too many times and she knew that no matter how much she begged me not to do it, it was nearly impossible for me to control it.

I'd learned that me verbally lashing out at my mother would only make her angrier and come after me harder but it also gave me the opportunity to express myself and let her know how her words made me feel. My father allowed for the altercations to take place but he never allowed for them to go too far, " _That's still your mother, Noa_ ," he'd say. And, in that same breath he would go after my mother for being so insensitive towards me. She would apologize some times and others, her pride was too grand for it to be allowed but that just only proved me that I was getting to her, that she knew I was telling the truth but being such a stubborn woman, that one, she'd die before admitting she was wrong and though I knew, this morning, I'd been wrong for bringing Sara's business into my pile of shit, I wouldn't admit it right away to her.

"Henshall & Langan, they're pricey but the best," offered the cabby.

* * *

Leave your thoughts! :)


	2. The Interview

_**The Interview**_

"Alright, ladies… and the two gentlemen in the back," said the brunette with a smile, "interviews will begin shortly. We'll be selecting two brand new assistants for our senior partners. And, please know, interviews will go by quick if they're not impressed so, give it your all and good luck," she finished, turning on her heel and disappearing through the glass doors.

I took a shuddering breath and sighed, "Are you nervous too?" asked the man besides me.

I turned to look at him. He was incredibly beautiful! Rich cocoa skin, searing stare, powerful jaw, ample chest, and if he stood I had no doubt that he would tower over me, "A little, I must admit. You?"

He chuckled and glanced at the floor, "Oh yea, definitely."

"Why?" I asked.

"First job out of college, of course I'm nervous!"

I opened my mouth in silent recognition, nodding my head as I crossed my legs, "It's always nerve-wracking to interview fresh out of college but don't worry. You always think you do worse than you actually did."

"Been through a lot of interviews lately," he asked, turning slightly on his chair.

I shook my head and smiled, "Not really. I had the same job for about seven years and now I'm here."

"Oh wow," he said, eyeing my features, "I'm Tristan. Tristan Walsh, it's a pleasure."

"Noa, Noa Diaz. No 'h' in Noa though," I mentioned, smiling.

"Noa, no h—got it," he quipped back.

We fell into silence after introductions were made and one by one, I saw the other ladies and man in the room file out to make their interview. As I glanced around the room, I noticed they were all dressed similarly. Tight bodycon dresses or skirts, heels, makeup to the nines… women falling into the cliché roll of assistants in male-dominated office. Tristan fidgeted next to me and I smiled as I pondered of my very first time interviewing for a job. Though the interview had just been a formality, since the position had already been offered to me but still, if it hadn't been for that, I would've tanked. I had been so lost in thought that I hadn't noticed that it was only Tristan, another female, and myself left in the room.

I saw as the brunette approached the glass doors, "Uh, Noa Diaz," she read and then looked up.

I smiled and stood, "That's me," I said softly.

She eyed me up and down and smiled, "Follow me, you'll be interviewing with Mr. Langan."

I nodded, "Anything I should know," I asked.

She looked up at me and smirked, "Eye contact, he hates when people are not able to hold his gaze."

I nodded and uttered her thanks. She walked me down the hallway in front of his office and knocked, "Good luck," she said as she turned around and left.

I heard the faint mumble allowing me to enter the office and I did. I crossed the threshold and tucked my hair behind my ear. I heard as a man cleared his throat and I looked up, stopping in my tracks. The man in front of me sure was a sight, tall, piercing blue eyes, and a smile to die for, "Welcome, and who might you be?"

I faltered for a second and opened and closed my mouth repeatedly. I heard him chuckle and he circled his desk, revealing his full frame, "Please, have a seat."

I willed my body to move and approached him, extending my arm, "I am so sorry, Noa Diaz."

"Trevor Langan, Senior partner," he mentioned as he shook my hand.

I smiled sheepishly towards him, _Jesus this man is so fucking fine_! I could see his lips moving and then he smiled, revealing his perfectly aligned teeth, "I'm sorry," I could feel my cheeks get warm with the tint of a blush, "Could you repeat that for me?"

He chuckled and turned, going to sit behind his desk. As he sat, I did also, "Do you have your resume at hand?"

"Oh, yes," I placed my purse on the floor and reached inside for the folder that held my resume, cover letter, and references as well as a small copy of my PR portfolio. I handed him the folder and crossed my legs, interlacing my fingers at my knees.

He took the folder from my hand and placed it atop his oak desk. He briefly read through my cover letter and nodded his head, moving then to my resume. He picked up the paper and leaned back on his chair, "Hmm, Bobcat," he mused.

I smirked and looked down, "Violet 'til the day I die," I mumbled underneath my breath.

He looked up from the paper and parted his lips. For a moment, I stopped breathing. I couldn't believe I had said that aloud; let alone, in an interview, in front of a potential employer, _kill me now!_

He bit his bottom lip, _What the fuck is he doing? Why is he looking at me that way?_ I could feel my skin warming up underneath the scrutiny of his gaze but I remembered what the office manager had said, ' _eye contact_ ', so I held his intimidating gaze. His blue eyes shone, it was like they were attempting to communicate something, he attempted to break me it seemed, and me, being as competitive as I was I wasn't going to let some Harvard grad undermine me. Not in a million years. He smiled again, _Oh, you smug bastard, I can see what you're trying to do_. I swept my hair over my shoulder and raised my brows, widening my eyes for his pleasure. He nodded and hummed, redirecting his stare to my resume, _Diaz-1 Langan-0_.

"You lived abroad for… seven years?"

"Yes, Sir," I automatically replied.

"What happened?" he asked, placing the resume down and picking up one of the references.

"I worked at a PR firm, contract—initially—was for five years and it got extended for two more after the firm was _mildly_ threatened by a client," I chuckled and shook my head.

" _Mildly_ threatened? Are you allowed to expand on that, Ms. Diaz?" he asked, glancing briefly at me.

"I am," I answered quickly, "The juniors worked with the senior partners and—"

"I know well how PR firms work, Ms. Diaz just, answer my question," he said dryly.

 _You son of a bitch_ , I cleared my throat and relaxed, "It was my account and we were in the middle of a campaign. They didn't want anyone else handling it so they threatened to pull the account. My bosses kept me until the campaign was launched and they saw the profit promised and then they let them and me go."

"Were you offered a settlement?" he deadpanned, shuffling through my references.

"Excuse me?" What game was he trying to play? How dare he asked me something so private and so… bold!

"I'm sorry," he begun, placing his palms on his desk briefly, "was that too forward?" he smiled smugly, "Were you offered a settlement?"

I opened my mouth and rapidly clamped it shut, "Yes, that _was_ too forward. I don't see how that is pertinent to this interview."

"Huh," he said. He dropped the references in his hands and shifted through the folder, "Is this a copy of your portfolio?"

"It is."

He eyed the copy of the portfolio and noticed pictures of different prominent families and myself at publicity events, galas, and luncheons. Yes, I worked at a firm but I worked with single members of companies as well as the entirety of it. Publicity had its many branches and in seven short years, I'd managed to explore a vast majority of them, "These are the Beauchamp's," he mused, _How do you know the Beauchamp's?_ "Alright, thank you for your time, Ms. Diaz we'll be calling you if anything opens up."

I stood with my purse and waited for him to stand, but he didn't. I cleared my throat to catch his attention, "Please make sure Jeanine has the correct contact information for you, and have a good day."

I scoffed and turned around, not believing the balls on this man. Smug asshole didn't even bother to give me eye contact or dismiss me in a polite manner; he just kept motioning through my folder and ignoring the fact that I was there. As I reached the door, I spoke, "I hope your day is as pleasant as your personality, Langan!"

I heard his audible gasp and the rustling of the papers stopping but I never bothered to look back. I opened the door and walked towards the front. At the front I stopped to leave my information as asked for and then I was in the elevator, riding down to the busy streets of Manhattan. Once outside, the breeze again made itself known and I contemplated on what I had said. Did I really just allow my anger to cloud my judgment? Again, what was going on with me? I walked to the sidewalk and turned to the building, shaking my head and turning back towards the sidewalk. _You have to make this right!_ I stopped and turned towards the building, reaching its door, _No, he fucking averted your eyes, he was curt… no, go home._ I stopped and sighed turning back towards the sidewalk and just pushed my way away from the building.

It was barely eleven in the morning, so I just walked towards Central Park. I didn't have to go anywhere; I didn't have to be anywhere so I just walked. Once at the park, I found a lonely bench and sat with my iced coffee, eyeing the pass-byers, the children with their nannies and their parents, the dog owners, the teenagers that were allowed to leave school for lunch, and the elders in their mid-morning yoga class. Everything had been so perfect just a couple of months ago. I had a steady job, a steady place, a steady income… everything was steady. I sat and thought about my conversation with my sister this morning, the one where she asked about my dating life. There had been someone I was interested in and we explored it until I found out he was married and had an entire family in another province of Spain. I didn't want to talk about my failures in love. Nobody does, right? So, why couldn't people stop asking me about it? I sighed. I sighed and I sighed, something common in my life nowadays.

I sat on that bench until the warmth of the sun could be felt and I knew, it had to be past noon. I glanced at my wristwatch and noted the time, fifteen until two, _wow, three hours in a park bench sipping on watered down coffee_. I stood and decided to walk and grab some lunch at some bar, maybe drown the sorrows from the day in some cocktails. I walked back towards Park Ave, knowing damn well that I was just doing so to exacerbate my incompetency. A true masochist I was, deliberately getting into my own head for the pleasure and misery of it all. After a twenty-minute walk I stopped at a promising location, Draught 55 a bar that looked very high-end. I entered and sat in at bar stool table towards the back and ordered a turkey burger and strong ale. The waitress commended me on my choice of pairing and went back to put the order in. As she returns with my ale, someone sits across from me, "Noa, no h?"

I looked up from my glass and there he was, "Tristan, I would ask why you're here drinking in the middle of the day but, it's pretty obvious why you're here."

He chuckled and smiled, "Bombed the interview?"

"I'd say I did more than bombed it," I finished, taking a gulp of my beer. I eyed the glass and wiped the foam on my top lip, "This is really good beer," I offered.

"I know, my boyfriend's the bartender," he said with a boyish smile.

"You're gay? Hmm, never would've guessed."

"I'm not completely out," he said, taking a sip, "It's hard, being black and gay. You'd think that in the year we're living in people would be more accepting but," he paused, finishing his beer in a big gulp, "most people don't have a bishop for a father."

I grimaced at his words, "I'm sorry, Tristan. One should never have to hide their true self because of whatever reason it may be. Have you talked to your parents?"

He signaled my waitress and ordered another beer, "Nope, I don't think I can. We're from the South, things there are just… different."

I nodded, "No, I understand. My best friend is from South Carolina and though I look it, I'm not and still, I faced the stares and the low whispers one Christmas with her parents."

"I'm sorry you went through that," he offered, smiling at our waitress, "What are you if you don't mind my asking?"

I chuckled and leaned back, "Guess," I challenged, taking a sip from my beer.

He smirked, "Well, your last name is Diaz so that can mean that you're either half Hispanic or fully," he stopped in thought and took in my face, "Dominican," he said.

I guffawed, "Close, Puerto Rican, one hundred percent."

"Really," he asked, I nodded, "I never knew you guys came in warmer tones."

I eyed him impishly, "I like that, 'warmer tones'. I'm not that dark, Tristan."

"You're not but you're not as light as the Puerto Ricans I know."

"True, you can thank my father for that," I said, smiling.

He must've seen how my face changed and he reached for my hand that was wrapped around my glass, "Hey, everything ok?"

His dark stare was filled with concern and sincerity, "Yea, yea, thank you. My father passed five years ago, cancer."

"Oh, Noa…"

I waved him off and took a sip of my drink as the waitress brought my meal, "No worries, he lived a full life and I was just thankful that he got to see me graduate college and actually make a living and be decent human being."

Tristan nodded and reached to steal a fry out of my plate. I smacked his hand and smirked, lifting the sudden tension that fell upon us. We continued drinking and getting to know each other better. As soon as six o'clock rolled around, the bar took a livelier environment and you could see people from all walks of life entering the bar. You had you higher executives, with their button downs open and their ties skewed. Your businesswomen with their necks exposed and flirty look in their eyes. Your locals in jeans, looking for a great time, and there were us, the rejects of some type that sat at the bar with their own company. Thankfully, I had Tristan and his boyfriend Jacob behind the bar. We continued ordering drinks and I gradually saw Tristan turn from the straight-laced man he had been for the past couple of hours to a beautiful peacock. He was bubbly and charming and he knew how to steal the attention of a few patrons as well.

As I'm downing my unnumbered beer of the night, my phone chimed, an email from Jeanine White. I sat my beer down, swallowing the amber liquid as my fingers make quick work of my passcode and open the email, ' _Ms. Diaz, congratulations! You have been selected for the position of Executive Assistant. Please, come as soon as possible to the office. Attached is the code for the door, we will be here until eleven pm. Please respond to this email if you are not able to make it by today, otherwise, we look forward to seeing you soon._ ' I nearly choked on air. He had chosen me. Why? After the way I had left his office, why would he choose me? Suddenly, I felt the alcohol hit me. I couldn't show up half drunk to my new place of work, no, I needed to post-pone this until at least tomorrow. But, what if this was a test? _Fuck! I have to sober up quickly._

"Tristan," I shook his arm, "Tristan!"

"What?" he slurred.

"Look at your email, now."

He made quick work as well and fortunately saw the same message I had. His eyes opened and he went to speak but couldn't. Jacob saw our expressions and Tristan offered his phone. He asked if I had received the same message and I nodded, he reached in front of him and removed our beer glasses and replaced it Perrier water and a small glass of orange juice. We drank the liquids in front of us and we stood, giggling at the other's unbalance but we were able to make it to Park Ave without stumbling and/or falling. Of course we were still under the influence but we would have not been able to make it without having had that shot of vitamin C. I searched my purse for my mirror and noticed the glossiness of my brown eyes, _fucking great!_ I reapplied my mascara and pinched my cheeks because even through my bronzed complexion, you could see the rosiness of my cheeks. I sprayed my body with my perfume and popped some gum in my mouth and offered the same to Tristan.

Once inside the building we rode up the elevators to what would be our new office. We rung the doorbell and could see the stillness of the inside through the glass doors. From the corner appeared Jeanine, the office manager who circled her desk and pressed the correct button to unlock the door. She let us in and directed us toward the same room we had been earlier in the day, "Were you both drinking?"

We hid our faces and nodded. She chuckled and shook her head, leaving the room once again. It took roughly ten minutes; ten agonizingly slow minutes for her to return with the senior partners of the firm. They both circled the table we were sat at and took a chair next to each other. Trevor cleared his throat and my head snapped up, immediately making eye contact with the man in front of me, "Welcome to Henshall & Langan."


	3. Welcome to Henshall & Langan

_**Welcome to Henshall & Langan**_

It was Monday and my first day at Henshall & Langan. After the interview on Friday where I thought I had royally screwed up, we were invited back to the firm where we—Tristan and I—were given our key cards, set of keys for around the office, schedules, and all around on board packet with all the proper documentation of policies and procedures to follow around the office. We were given our contracts and they were explained thoroughly and extensively to us. Of course, working in a law firm and having everything explained by lawyers, they were sure to explain even the fine print and I had been most grateful for it, seeing the condition Tristan and I were that night. We left the firm a little after midnight, having gone through everything with scrutiny. We even discussed our salaries, privately, and were given the ok to start on Monday—today.

After my shower, I had straightened my somewhat wavy hair and parted it above my left eye. I decided to go with a skirt, it was my first day at the job and since I had gone somewhat casual for the interview, I needed to wow my new boss whomever that was. I looked at the ensemble atop my sheets: blush pencil skirt, white and blue striped button down blouse, and nude pumps. I got dressed and eyed myself in the mirror, the same mirror where I had spent majority of my time Friday overly-scrutinizing my body and all its flaws but after having spent my weekend with my new gay best friend and his partner and having them shower me with all the compliments in the world, awarded me with some new confidence. It's amazing what a little pick-me-up can do to your confidence and ego. I grabbed my sunglasses, my purse, and my phone and was out my door.

As I walked to the nearest subway station I texted Jeanine, asking her what her favorite coffee was from Starbucks. She replied quickly with her answer and I took the liberty to ask what the senior partners liked to drink from the chain coffee shop. She gave me their orders as well and commended me on my initiative. After thirty minutes, I arrived at the subway station nearest to the firm and made my way to the nearest Starbucks a block away from the firm and made the quick line, _thank God for early mornings_. I had my coffee and those of the partners and office manager in hand. As I'm arriving at the firm, I ran into Tristan downstairs who was carrying pastries in his hand, "Seems like we had quite the idea this morning," Tristan mentioned as we hurried our way to avoid the chill of the morning.

"They're lawyers, I'm sure they need _something_ to keep them from chewing their employees' heads off," I quipped.

Tristan shook his head and held the elevator for us. We arrived at the office and scanned our key cards and heard the magnets detach. I walked to Jeanine, "Venti double shot on ice, milady," I mentioned, handing her the cup.

She groaned, "Thank you!" she inserted the straw and stirred it slightly, "Oh, Tristan, you shouldn't have but thank you!" she mentioned as Tristan offered her a pastry.

"Ok, so where are going?" he said, closing the box in his hands.

Jeanine hummed and placed her cup on her desk, "Tristan, you'll be with Henshall and Noa, you'll be with Langan," I rolled my eyes, _of course I'd be stuck with him, he's probably going to make my life miserable for the comment before leaving_.

We followed her down the hall to the right to Mr. Henshall's office, "You have brand new desks that were ordered and expedited for delivery so, find time during your busy day and make a list of supplies you'd like and I'll order them for you," she explained as we quickly ducked in the office for me to leave his coffee and Tristan his pastry, "The partners get here at eight thirty, snow, rain, or hail; they're here on time every day. So, it's good you both decided to show up early. Tristan, this is your desk and computer, you're allowed to surf the web as you please but of course, nothing inappropriate. Your company email has already been set up, all you need to do is make up a new password and you have instructions from Mr. Henshall already in there."

Tristan nodded and we left him to get settled, "Now, Noa," she turned to address me as we made our way back to the front and down the hall to desk's left, "You're with Langan. At first he may seem like a pompous jerk but he really is amazing at his job and since you have a little more experience, he'll be working you a little extra hard," we arrived at his office and I slipped his African brew and placed it on a coaster at his desk, "The same applies to you, email is set up and you have your instructions from Langan himself. He likes to go with you on what's on his calendar for the day and any _red_ flagged meetings throughout the week, so go through the shared calendar with scrutiny. Also, I have already pre-ordered for you sticky flags and tabs, as I know how much he likes for his assistant to use those. Any questions?" she finished, glancing at her wristwatch.

I shook my head and smiled, "Alright, good luck!"

I sat and opened the bottom drawer of my desk and placed my bag in there. I rummaged through the drawers and saw basic office supplies as well as a few legal pads. I opened my email and set up the password and opened the inbox from Langan with his set of instructions. They weren't entirely that bad and pretty straight to the point. I went over the calendar with scrutiny, as advised by Jeanine—who had been awfully helpful—and wrote down everything that was marked in red for the weekend and paid special attention to the day's events. Once I got done with that, I noticed I still had about fifteen minutes to start creating my list of supplies. I wrote down everything I needed from the provided office catalog, from pens in different colors, as well as padding for my back, and desk caddies in rose gold since it was an option. I walked down the hall and gave Jeanine my list of things, "Wow," she said, "someone is an over-achiever."

I tittered, "No, I just know how to make the most of my time."

"I'll put these in. It takes a day from the moment I put them in for them to arrive, so by Wednesday morning you should have everything. And, good job on ordering red sharpies, you'll go through them fast," she awarded as I headed back to my desk.

As I sat, I heard faint mumbling and indistinct conversation; _they're here, holy shit._ I quickly fixed my skirt and continued to set up my desktop with my preferred preferences when I heard the soft padding of shoes approach the area I was in, "Good morning," he awarded.

I looked up and he had his head buried in his phone. I rolled my eyes and stood, "Good morning," I replied.

At the sound of my voice, he looked up, "What are _you_ doing here?"

I furrowed my brow, "Jeanine said I had been assigned to you."

He scoffed and rubbed his brow, taking a few steps back and yelled down the hallway, "Henshall, you're a bastard!"

" _Tell me something I don't know!_ "

He smirked, "Follow me," he said, entering his office, "Ooh, coffee. Remind me to thank Jeanine later for this," he said.

"Actually, Mr. Langan, I brought coffee this morning but you're right, it was Jeanine who told me what to get," I mentioned.

He nodded and smiled as he sat, "What do we have?"

I sat across from him and crossed my legs as I tucked my hair behind my ears, "You have an appointment at ten fifteen with a Gregory Julius, lunch with mom and dad, a meeting with Henshall at one forty-five, and there's a reminder for three thirty—oh, that's for me, never mind that," I bit my lip as I eyed what I had written, "Oh, you have late court today; motions hearing downtown at five. For the week, you'll be out of the office for most of the day on Thursday and Friday—People v. Caraballo—as well as Monday through Wednesday of the following week if the jury decides to stonewall the verdict. Also, on Wednesday, your entire afternoon has been blocked off for a meeting with the head of the Heister Corporation," I finished, looking up from my notes.

He had a smirk on his face and his blue eyes were boring at my soul, "That was really good. I see you know how to take direction," he paused and sat up straight, "The appointment with Gregory, is it here or at his firm?"

 _Damnit, think Noa, think. Ten fifteen with Gregory Julius at 90 Park Ave_ , "His," I answered.

He glanced at me and blinked slowly, "What's going on at three thirty?"

I smiled, "It's a reminder to send flowers to a Alexandra Cabot, something specific you'd like to me to have written on the card, sir?"

He nodded, "Thinking of you and your father this week. Remembering."

Those words struck me, who knew Trevor Langan could be such a softy? I knew this must've been the anniversary of a death and a loved one for this Alexandra Cabot, "Type of flower?"

He smiled, "Claire loved calla lilies but I'm not sure if they are in season or not."

"They are," I answered with a smile, "Early spring to summer."

He hummed and glanced at his computer, "Oh, could you make reservations anywhere for lunch with my parents and send me the information through the chat. Also, let me explain the phones to you since this was such an issue with my previous assistant," he breathed out, "If you'd like to reach me, our direct line is two. You _do_ know how to transfer calls?" I nodded, "No one, and I truly mean no one is to have this line number. That's for office staff members and the few people that I have given it to, otherwise your phone will be the one ringing. Understood?"

I nodded, "Is there anyone that the answer is always 'no' when they request to see or talk to you?"

He shook his head and smiled, "Clever of you to ask beforehand," he looked at me and let his stare wander, _was he checking me out?_ "Yes, Katarina Velva. If she calls, you make something up and then come tell me. If she shows up, Jeanine will call you and let you know."

I nodded and bit my lip, "Is there anything else you'd like for me to do?"

He sat in thought for a second, "Actually, yes," he turned on his chair and reached for a box on the floor, "These are files of current cases that I am working. They go from white collar to criminal defense, could you separate them and put them in order of intake? That way they're easier to navigate and bring them in when you're done and place them on that cart over there," he pointed to a roller caddy.

I stood and walked to the caddy and rolled it out with me, shooting a smile to the man behind the desk. I was not about to haul that heavy ass box out with heels on. No, if the caddy had wheels, I was going to put them to use. I sat at my desk and got to work; firstly, going about the lunch reservation. Most of the restaurants should have been open by now so I got busy and begun calling. I remembered a good friend from the softball team had just started working at a restaurant as head chef and I gave her a call. I told her it was for my boss and his parents and she immediately found a table for twelve fifteen in the afternoon. I expressed my gratitude and promptly sent Langan the information for the restaurant. Once I saw he had read the message, I closed the chat window and went to call a couple of flower shops but was interrupted with a call from him, "Yes?"

" _How did you manage a last minute reservation for Bluebird? They have a two-week in advance type of policy._ "

I chuckled, "I cannot tell you my ways, just know I can be very persuasive when I need to."

He sighed and I could almost hear him smile, " _Maybe having you as my assistant is not going to be that bad after all._ "

He hung up shortly after his words and I just shrugged the comment off and continued with my tasks. I had everything set and begun working on the task at hand, filing and placing everything by intake. I was so involved in what I was doing that I barely noticed the time until he walked out at ten in the morning. He looked rather surprised that I was going through the box at a steady pace, "I'll be out until roughly one thirty, if any calls come in, take a message and have them ready for me upon my return, thank you."

I nodded and never said anything else. I noticed he hadn't addressed me by my name and I knew he knew it. I don't think he could forget it, not after the way we parted. I stood for a quick moment, just to stretch my legs and walked to the front desk where Jeanine was. We spoke for roughly ten minutes, it was a slow day at the office and according to her that was a blessing in disguise. I returned to my desk but not before stopping by the common break room and helping myself to some fruit left for the office to enjoy from. Back at my desk the phone rung for the first time since I had gotten there, by the third ring I answered, "Henshall & Langan, Trevor Langan's line. This is Noa."

" _Hello_ , _**Noa**_ ," the voice on the other side smugly said.

"Hello, how may I help you?"

" _I want to speak to Trevor, where is he?_ " the voice inquired.

"May I ask who is calling?" I said, biting my lip.

" _This is Katarina, he knows who I am._ "

 _Ah, the ex-girlfriend_ , "Unfortunately, Mr. Langan is out of the office today. Would you like to leave a message?"

She growled on the opposite side, " _Tell him to call me back or else._ " The call went dead. I made sure I took that message and had it ready for when he returned.

By the time noon rolled around, I had already finished with the task that he had asked for and was looking for something to do. I left the office to go eat lunch nearby and returned an hour after. Upon my return, Trevor was already back and his parents were there with him. I walked back to my desk, pushing my sunglasses to have them sit at the crown of my head. As I'm making it back to my desk, the phone ringed, "Henshall & Langan, Trevor Langan's line. This is Noa," I politely say.

" _Hello, Ms. Diaz?_ "

"Yes, this is she."

" _This is Tony from the Flowers and more shop, just wanted to let you know that the flowers you requested were injured on the way here from our supplier. We'll gladly refund the order_ ," he explained.

I rubbed my temples, "I don't want a refund; I want the flowers to be delivered. It's too late to place an order and have them delivered by the same time with another shop."

" _I am sorry—_ "

"I don't want to hear that!" I cut him off, "Do you have fresh Easter lilies?"

" _Yes, we do actually. Would you like those?_ "

"No, I would the callas like agreed on but the Easter lilies will do just fine. Now, should I expect the refund immediately or do I have to wait several days for them?"

The man on the other side of the line stuttered, " _Three to five days and I truly apologize for any inconvenience._ "

"Mhmm, have a good day," I hung up and growled when I heard a faint chuckle. I turned and there was Trevor, standing with his mother and father, "Trev—Mr. Langan, I am so sorry," I said looking at the ground.

"Mother, Father, meet Noa Diaz, my new assistant," he said to his parents, "Everything alright with the flowers' order?"

I sighed and smiled sheepishly, "It's a pleasure Mr. and Mrs. Langan. Actually, no; the supplier 'injured' the callas but it's too late now to call another florist and have them deliver the callas so I told him to change them to Easter lilies _and_ got a refund as well."

"Easter lilies?" Mrs. Langan asked with a raised brow.

I nodded, "They represent elegance, beauty, spirituality, hope, and life. Churches, during Easter time grace the altar with this flower to commemorate the resurrection of Jesus Christ," I said, glancing at the ground, noting my rambling.

"Sounds to me like you just described the effervescent Claire Cabot," Mr. Langan chimed, "She sure is missed but that flower you sent to her daughter describes her mother down to the dot."

"T—Thank you, Mr. Langan," I said, biting my lip in nervousness.

"Any messages?" Trevor asked.

I snapped my head up, "Yes, uh," I stopped and looked at him, attempting to convey emotion through my eyes, "only one."

"What did she want now?" he said, stepping from behind his parents.

"Just to call is all she said before rudely hanging up," I sighed, "Oh, and the caddy is in your office with the files."

"You're done?" he said, surprised at my efficiency.

"Yea?"

He looked behind at his parents and his mother smirked, "Never underestimate the power of a woman, Trevor. How many times must I tell you this?" Trevor smiled and glanced at me, "I like you, dear. Keep rendering my son speechless and I'll have to convince him to marry you."


	4. Poughkeepsie

_**Poughkeepsie**_

 **Three months later**

Working at Henshall & Langan had proven to be quite exhausting. When I wasn't busting my ass for Trevor, I was out running errands with or for him, and I had been recruited to help out Tristan with Henshall's messes as well. Overall, it really wasn't bad. I was used to the workload and the expeditious pace but I missed those quiet moments I sneaked during lunch and on the weekends. If I wasn't careful, you could catch me sending Trevor reminders or answering his calls and text messages about what ever it was he needed help with. Usually they were at a decent time and hour but you had those moments where I think he forgot he was the only up at such ungodly hour and would call me and wake me from slumber. He would apologize profusely but I was already aroused from sleep and wouldn't be able to reconcile with it unless I knew he was fine and _really_ didn't need help with whatever it was he was investigating.

Another Monday at home saw me getting ready for work: multicolor vertical stripes skinny trousers, white button down blouse, and red pumps. I was feeling bold after having a horrible weekend of no sleep, thanks to Trevor's obnoxious phone calls asking questions that I never quite understood. I finally gave up and just stayed up with him through Skype and we were able to work like that. I was getting ready to leave my apartment when my phone rang, "Good morning, Trevor."

" _Noa, good morning._ "

"What can I do for you?" I asked.

I could feel him smiling on the other side of the line, " _I am needed in Poughkeepsie for a case and I don't think I can survive the day without my trusty assistant._ "

I chuckled, "What are you saying, Trevor? There's stuff to do at the office, I can't be on Skype the entire day," I said, tittering at my own words as I grabbed my sunglasses.

" _I know, that's why I'm parked in front of your unit building. I'm pulling you for the day and instructed Jeanine to put the office phone on forward to your cellphone._ "

"Trevor…"

" _Listen, we'll be back by lunchtime because I'm meeting my parents for our monthly lunch in the city. Which, by the way, I need you to make a reservation for us four, and we'll drive back to Poughkeepsie afterwards and I'll have you in your home before midnight. I promise,_ " he mentioned.

"You drive a tough bargain but fine. It's not like I have a choice anyways, you're outside my home!" I chuckled grabbing my keys and exiting, "I want coffee, it's the least you could do."

He chuckled and hung up once he saw me exit my building. I opened his car door and slid in, "I still can't believe you just popped up in front of my home without telling me. I knew it was a mistake letting you drive me here last week."

"I was not going to let you get in the subway at one in the morning, Noa," he said glancing at me, "And, if we're talking about believing, I still can't believe you live in Harlem."

"What's so wrong with Harlem, _Langan_?" I challenged.

He eyed me curiously with a smirk on his lips, "That's what I thought!" I said chuckling.

"Here," he mentioned, handing me a cup of coffee, "Vanilla latte, no foam, with cinnamon?"

I took of sip of the burning liquid and hummed, "Aww, you remembered!" I said, pouting my lip.

He guffawed and shook his head, "My tablet is on the back seat, I have the office calendar linked. What do we have?"

That was his line. That had been his line since that first Monday, three months ago. Now, it just seemed like familiar territory, "Meeting with Lowell, Simmons, & Crenshaw that is going to last all morning; lunch with mom and dad; motions hearing in Poughkeepsie; and miscellaneous with LSC," I paused and eyed the calendar, looking for any reds and only saw one for the weekend, "Oh, office pool party on Saturday that I am happy to say I will _not_ be attending, but you are."

"You're not going? Why?" he asked.

"I don't want to. I would like to enjoy my weekend boss and work free since I couldn't do that this weekend, I wonder why?" I mentioned playfully.

Trevor shook his head, "I'm sorry, I just needed help and I didn't know whom else to call and it was important."

"I know, I'm just teasing," I responded as I crossed my legs in the bucket seat of Trevor's plush SUV.

"You have to go, it's mandatory," he mentioned, eyeing the road.

"Nowhere in that email does it say that it's mandatory for _anyone_ to attend."

"Oh, you can count on another email saying that presence is required from the partners since we will have several prominent clients hosting and participating in the event," he said as he looked at me.

"You're unbelievable, you know that, right?"

He shrugged and offered a boyish smile. We fell into somewhat of a comfortable silence before he spoke again, "So, Noa, do you have any siblings?"

I chuckled, "What are you doing?" I asked, playing with the tab of my coffee cup.

"I'm making conversation, what does it look like I'm doing?"

"Yea, you're asking _personal_ questions. I'm sure we can engage in conversation without having to go into personal inquiries," I responded.

"You know everything personal about me, it's only fair I know what I'm facing," he said, turning his head to give me eye contact.

"I'm your assistant, I'm _supposed_ to know everything personal about you," I countered, grinning. He remained quiet and bit his lip, not backing down, _smug son of a bitch_ , "Fine, yes, I have one younger sister. Her name is Sara, no h."

He chuckled, shaking his head, "Noa no h, Sara no h; what is with your parents and the omission of the consonant?"

"Well, in Spanish, the h is silent, almost non-existent so they just omitted it. Why have it there when it serves no purpose at all?"

"Why a boy's name to you but a girl's one to your sister? I mean, traditionally," he asked.

"Actually," I said, turning in my seat, "Noa was one of the five daughters of Zelophehad. It's a biblical name; she also fought along her sisters for women's right when there were no male heirs. My name's meaning is literally 'motion to consecrate God'."

He smirked and turned his head to eye me impishly. He always did this, stare me down when he was intrigued or felt he was losing the upper hand, "That's what 'Noa' means?"

"Well, Noa Elisa is my name."

"And your sister?"

"Wife of Abraham, mother of Isaac; also a biblical name. As you can tell, I grew up in a religious home," I offered.

"That's good or did you not like that?" he asked cautiously.

"Oh, no, no; I never mind it. I loved going to church on Sundays, though some of my teachings have gone out the window but I still try and go on Sundays to church. What about you?"

"What about me?" he asked.

"Siblings? Church?" I offered, motioning with my hands.

"Well, you've met my brother Thomas and he has a twin sister, Tilly. She's the oldest out of us three," he said smiling, "And church was followed on the 'popular' days like Easter, Christmas, Thanksgiving, and Good Friday service."

"What's up with your parents and the letter t?" I smirked, redirecting the question back to him.

"Ha! That was my mother's doing. She wanted to keep TL as the initials for her children; just like her husband's."

"Oh," I said, placing my hand over my chest, "That's romantic but I won't ever do that to my children."

"Neither will I," he offered, tittering.

We fell in silence once again and before we knew it, we were in Poughkeepsie. The day had proven quite extensive and exhausting and we weren't even finished with the day. We were only halfway through and still had more to do. At Lowell, Simmons & Crenshaw I had been present throughout the entire meeting. Taking notes, assisting in research, and generally _assisting_ Trevor. Apparently, they were defending a wealthy known member of the community in Poughkeepsie and they needed to find out everything and how to best plan the defense without tarnishing too much the reputation of their client. We left for lunch and let known that wouldn't be back until almost two in the afternoon where they had still a little bit of leeway to plan for their motions hearing. I offered to drive back to the city since I knew he was probably tired. He acquiesced and I even told him to take a nap and that I would wake him once we had arrived at the city.

"Trev," I said, shaking him slightly, "Trev," I said a little louder and forcefully but that didn't seem to work either. I huffed and turned off the SUV and walked to his side, I thought of ways of waking up the large man on the passenger side and the only thing that came to mind was the way my father would wake my sister and I. I rolled my eyes and mentally chided myself for even considering such a sweet and personal approach but nothing else had worked so I decided to give it a go. I ran my fingers through his hair and noted how soft it was, even for a man, and he stirred slightly. I rested my hand on his forehead and with my thumb rubbed between his brows, "Hey, sleepyhead. We're here."

It worked! Holy shit, it worked. He fluttered his eyes open and his sleepy eyes bore a hole straight to my chest, _keep it in your pants Diaz, he's your fucking boss for Christ's sake_ , "How long have I been asleep?" he husked.

A shiver ran down my spine and I closed my eyes. Opening them, I saw him smirk, "The entire car ride and five minutes on top of that."

He smiled sweetly and rested his head back on the headrest, "I'm sorry, my mother used to wake me with an ice cube."

"Well, I'll remember that next time I need to wake you up."

We both chuckled and I noticed that my hand was still on his face, "I like your approach better though, Noa."

I retrieved my hand and faltered, "Uh, we should get going. Y—Your parents are waiting."

He nodded and pulled the backrest forward, unbuckling his self and exiting the car. We made it to the restaurant and saw that the Langan's were seated on the outside patio. It was a beautiful day out, so why not make the most of it? We got seated and we placed our drink order once the waiter saw the party was completed. Senior noted that I had the keys of the SUV, "Trevor Elijah Langan III, did you make her drive?" he grumbled.

"What?" Trevor said, still in his sleepy stupor, "No, dad," he huffed, looking at me. I shrugged and winked at him, taking a sip of my water, hiding my smile, "She offered and it's a good thing she did, apparently I slept the entire way here."

"How did you get him to wake up?" Mrs. Langan asked.

"I used my father's approach on waking my sister and I up when we were younger. It worked," I said, motioning to Trevor.

"Well, your father is a saint if his trick worked on this log," Senior added.

I smiled, "I like to think that he was one."

"Oh, I'm sorry dear," Mrs. Langan, mentioned.

I waved her off, "It's ok, thank you. He lived fully and well."

"Well enough of that, I'm starving," Trevor said, redirecting the conversation away from me. I mouthed my thanks and he returned my wink and smiled. We placed and received our orders and began eating.

"So, Trevor, lately the places you have been picking for lunch are such a great hit that I have brought the girls back several times already," Mrs. Langan said, nibbling at her food.

"Oh, you can thank Noa. I don't make these reservations, Mother. You'd think I would but I don't," he admitted.

"Well Noa, since my son here doesn't love his mother, thank you."

"Oh, Mrs. Langan, it's a pleasure. I'm a foodie; it's a trait my father and I shared. There's a lot more where this came from," I said.

"Please, call me Georgina, or Gigi," the woman politely offered.

I nodded and looked at Trevor who had a smug look on his face, "What's that face for, Langan," I said, temporarily forgetting where I was. I covered my mouth and closed my eyes, "I am so sorry, I forgot where and with whom I was. I'm sorry," I pleaded, feeling my cheeks grow red.

"Nonsense," Senior begun, "I think you're the only assistant of Trevor's that has given him a run for his money. You know," he said, pausing his eating, "every time we catch up or he visits home or calls, he has a lot to say about you."

"Does he now?" it was my turn to eye Trevor smugly.

"Oh, yes," Senior said, "I believe it was two days ago he visited home saying you gave him a headache."

I opened my mouth and laughed, "Did you tell them why?"

Trevor shook his head and averted his eyes, "No, they don't need to know the details. They just need to know that my assistant makes me want to pull my hairs out."

"Well, I'm telling them," I paused to see if he objected but he just smirked, "We had downtime at work between one of his meetings and he called me in to help him with a crossword puzzle and the hint read 'adjective, well-shaped buttocks' and he had, I believe were the letters y, g, and the last a of the word. So I told him the answer was callipygian and he threw a fit because 'that is not a word, Noa; if you're not going to help me say that instead.'"

Trevor shook his head and looked at me through his lashes, smirking as he chewed, "It sounded ridiculous at the time."

"Was she right?" Gigi asked.

Trevor remained silent, "Well was she?" Senior asked.

"She was," Trevor said softly, barely audible.

"What?" his mother asked.

He huffed and stopped eating, "She was."

The table erupted in laughter, "That's what he gets for being a Neanderthal," I responded.

"That right there," he said, pointing at me with the fork, "That's what started the headache. If she would've taken her win humbly, I wouldn't have had a headache for the rest of the day."

"Oh, like you take your wins in court humbly, Trevor, please," I said, taking a sip of my water.

He scoffed playfully, smiling, "You have no idea what I do after court, _Noa_."

I nodded and placed my glass on the table, "You're right, I don't but I do know what you do before. You gloat and feed your ego for two days straight when you know you have a win in your hands. And, don't even try to deny it just because your parents are here. I know how competitive you are."

"Well," he said, laughing, "I get to gloat! I'm the lawyer."

I laughed heartily, tucking my hair behind my ear, "And, I'm the smarter one, so I get to gloat too. I expanded your vocabulary, Counselor. You're welcome," I finished, smiling at him.

He shook his head and continued eating, "They're bickering like an old married couple, Gigi," Senior said, eyeing his son.

My cheeks turned redder and I stared at my lap, "And, now they're hiding their faces like guilty teenagers," she said, clasping her hands and tittering, "Get a room you two!"

I bit my lip and smiled, _oh trust me Gigi, I want nothing more than to have you son on his back while I ride his m—_

"Mother!" Trevor said.

"Oh, dear, have I made you uncomfortable?" she asked.

"No, no Gigi, you're ok. Don't listen to the big oaf over there, I'll be fine," I said smiling.

"Oaf?" he asked with a smile.

"Look it up, Counselor," I replied smugly.

"I know what it means, Noa," he smiled, melting to me to my core.

 _Jesus, stop. What is happening?_

 _Where is this all coming from?_

 _I cannot like Trevor Langan; he's my boss for heaven's sake. My BOSS!_

* * *

 **A/N:** This chapter will have a part two that will be posted some time this week. I promise the angst and sexual tension will continue to build from this point on. Please review and give your feedback! And, thank you to those who have reviewed and are following this story! :)


	5. Poughkeepsie, 2

_**Poughkeepsie, 2**_

"That was fun," he finally said on our way back up to Poughkeepsie.

"Lunch?" I asked, temporarily distracted by the incoming messages on my phone.

He nodded, "What's got you distracted?"

I sighed, leaning back on my seat, "My sister."

"What's going on? Do you want to talk about it?" he asked, concern in his voice.

I answered one more message and noticed he had been exchanging his focus from the road to me, and back again, "She's asking for money for a new dress and a pair of shoes."

"Does she work?"

I scoffed, "When she can keep a job! When it's not 'my boss gets on my nerves' is 'it was too far', it's always something with her."

"Why does she need this new dress and pair of shoes then?"

"Apparently, some hotshot from Wall St. asked her on a date and she has nothing to wear, which I know is bullshit, I've seen her closet," I chuckled dryly.

He smiled, "How does she," he paused, looking at me, "I'm sorry, I don't mean to intrude or be overly nosy but how does she pay rent?"

"Oh, she doesn't. She lives at home with our mother."

Trevor nodded slowly, his mouth shaped in a silent o. He shook his head and went to speak but was stopped when my phone rung. Not paying attention, I answered, "Henshall & Langan, Trevor Langan's line. This is Noa."

" _I thought I called you on your cellphone, do you not have my number saved?_ " my sister's voice came through the other side.

I glanced at Trevor and smiled sheepishly, "Sara, I'm with my boss right now. I don't have time for this. I already told you that I'm not giving you any money so use something in your closet y no me jodas más, por favor."

" _So now you're miss big stuff, huh? Too great to lend your sister money_ ," she mentioned.

I scoffed and rubbed my brow, "I don't hear from you in three months and the only reason you reach out is for money? What do you think?"

" _You're the one that aired my business to Mami, not the other way around. Además, I'll give it back, you know I'm good for it._ "

"Are you good for it? You've had how many jobs since I moved back six months ago, so miss me with that bullshit," I chided.

" _Excuse the fuck out of me, Noa. Just because I don't have a job as good as yours does not mean I don't have one. How do you think I met this man?_ "

"I don't want to nor do I care how you met this man. Sara, I'm serious, I'm with my boss in the car, my answer will not change."

" _Oh, are you fucking your boss and that's why you can't be seen or spoken to?_ " she replied smugly.

I gasped audibly, "Fuck you, Sara. And, you can run and tell that," I growled and hung up.

I could feel the tears collect in my eyes but I was not about to break down in front of Trevor, not today and not at this moment, "Noa," he tried.

"Can you pullover here, please? I need to use the restroom," I asked, hearing the weakness in my voice.

He did as asked and I ran inside once I felt the car had fully stopped. The diner we pulled up in had gender-neutral restrooms and I picked one and ran inside, not bothering to lock the door. I broke down. I broke down, in a disgusting restroom floor. My body had slumped down a wall and I was kneeling with my head buried in my lap. I just couldn't understand why my family had to be this way. If my father were to be alive he would've never allowed this but then again, I needed to stop running from my family. They were the only things in my life that I had left, the only things that kept me in connection with my father. My sister was half of him just as much as I was and I needed to stop running from that. As the oldest, I needed to face it head on but I couldn't. I didn't have the strength or will power to do so and that just brought on fresh tears.

I didn't even hear the door open but I felt strong arms surrounding my body and flushing me close. It was Trevor. I'd recognize the smell of his cologne anywhere. I'd smelled it for the past three months straight and I knew it anywhere. He flushed me to his chest and the act alone made me sob harder. I sobbed against his chest and heaved and kept repeating the word 'why' over and over again, "Shh, you're going to be ok, Noa. You're stronger than this."

I couldn't take it any longer, I buried my face in his chest, "I try to be good a daughter and sister but," my sobs choked the words out of me and he held me tighter.

"We don't get to choose our given family but we do get to choose when to cut them off if they get to be too toxic," he mused softly, "You're a beautiful soul and they don't get to take that away from you, Noa."

His words hit me like a freight train and I held him tighter, like a lifeline from whatever had been happening in this world prior to this moment and my sanity. I tried to speak but I couldn't. I felt his lips on my forehead and my hair; _his lips are so soft, except for the scruffiness of his beard_. He rocked me gently and that seemed to calm me down. I pulled back, trying to get away from the man that was soothing me and felt the powerful grip he had on me. I sniffled and rested my head against his chest, "I can get up now," I said softly, like a broken bird.

He stood us up and only then he let me go, "Are you ok?" he asked, bending down to catch my eyes.

I noticed that I had lost a contact lens, "I will be once I can see again," I giggled.

He furrowed his brow and realization hit him, "Oh, shit," he said, looking at the ground, "Do you need help finding it?"

"Even if we do, I'm not putting that back in my eye. I have my glasses with me, it's fine," I said, wiping my face, "Could you give me a few minutes? I'll be out soon, I promise."

He smiled bashfully, "Ok, I'll be outside."

He left the restroom and I turned to look in the mirror. My eyes were already red and puffy and I sighed. I approached the sink and took my remaining contact out and washed my face, ridding it of any makeup as well as any streaks of dried up tears. I dried my face with a paper towel and exited the diner. The sun blinded me and as I shielded my eyes I saw Trevor, in all his heavenly sight, leaning against his SUV with a cup of something in his hands. I walked towards him, "Thank you, Trevor for what you did back in there."

He smiled at me and offered me the cup, "Cranberry juice, I've seen you drink it after lunch at the office."

I smiled and thanked him as we got in the SUV. I pulled out my makeup bag from my purse and reapplied my powder as well as some mascara and searched for my glasses case. I pulled my glasses out and placed them on my face, blinking slowly at my reflection on the visor mirror. I looked at Trevor and smiled, "You look so young with your glasses on," he said.

"So, you're saying I'm old without them?"

"You know I didn't say that," he responded.

"But you implied it," I said with a smirk.

He chuckled, "I thought I was the lawyer here," he glanced at me.

I shrugged and sipped my juice. Trevor had been a complete gentleman to me in that restroom. He didn't had to do what he did back there and still, I was more than comfortable in his arms and in breaking down in front of him; him out of all people, my boss. I shook my head and smiled at my silly thoughts, the ones that kept popping in my head about being in his arms and how it felt when he kissed my forehead. A gesture so grand and pure, yet so intimate and satisfying, "Noa," he said.

"Huh?"

"I asked, what's got you smiling like a lunatic?"

 _Busted_ , "Oh, nothing. Something funny Tristan said," I saw him open his mouth to ask the next question, "And, no, I won't share it. It's a private joke."

He raised one of his hands and nodded and we continued our ride in silence. Back in Poughkeepsie, the meeting continued. With the help of the firm's assistants, we powered through and typed several motions for the attorneys whilst they dictated what we were typing. Trevor and I pushed through them quickly, having done so a million times. Our energy had shifted since our altercation in the restroom. I was noticing things that I hadn't noticed on him before. Like when he'd smiled, his jaw would seem more prominent, and his eyes became more expressive and blue.

I noticed the subtleties, like the way he would furrow his brow and bring his hand to his mouth. For whatever reason it was, I couldn't stop staring at Trevor Elijah Langan. Was I—was I _falling_ for my boss? I sat up straight at the realization, _No, maybe it's just my hormonal state. He did just comfort me while I was crying, in a dirty ass restroom at that._ I huffed and shook my head and he turned to face me. He stared at me and smiled, biting his lip, and winking at me. _Oh, fuck me, Trevor!_ Why did he have to do that? And, the most horrendous part, he knew he was doing it too and what it was making me feel!

I had enough. I excused myself and stood, walking out of the conference room we were convened at and I made my way to the restroom. I began pacing the area of the restroom thinking to myself that Trevor knew what he was doing because he could. He could have any woman he liked and I was not in that pool. I'd seen the type of women he dated, especially Katarina Velva. I found out later that she was a model who was obsessed with Trevor after having been dating for a brief two months. Trevor noticed she was shallow and conceited and had ended the relationship before it got further.

Three months ago, when I started, I had not seen my feelings for this man get the way they were at the moment. He was a smug son of a bitch, a handsome smug son of a bitch, _oh God, what is happening?_ I couldn't allow my feelings to get deeper than this, Trevor liked skinny, perfect women and I was not skinny or perfect. I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair before stepping out of the restroom, nearly colliding with the body in front of me, "Oh, I'm so sorry," I begun apologizing.

He chuckled, "Where are you going in such a hurry, Noa?" Trevor asked.

 _Great, just what I needed, more bodily contact_ , "Uh, back to the conference room where I thought you were."

"No, we're leaving for court," he said, fixing his suit, "Do you want to come or you could stay here and wander around. I don't know but whatever you decide, I have to come back here anyways, so I'll give you a call. You can keep my SUV, we're taking Lowell's car to court and you have the firm's expenses card so don't be afraid to use it."

I smiled at him and nodded, "Thank you."

"You're welcome, beautiful," he said, the term escaping his lips before he had a chance of stopping it but _did_ he want to stop it?

I smiled bashfully and looked at the ground, "Hey," he said, picking up my head with his fingers around my chin, "don't do that. You're the only one that's not afraid to hold my gaze."

"Oh," I scoffed, "I bet you say that to all the girls, Trevor."

"Only the ones I really, _really_ like," he said, smiling and walking past me.

I stood there for a couple of more seconds, attempting to fathom all the thoughts that were going through my head. Was he really flirting? Did he mean to flirt? What the hell was that, 'you're welcome, beautiful'? Ugh, Trevor Langan was bound to be the death of me and I hated every moment of it. This couldn't be happening, not here and certainly not now. I sighed and walked back to the room, where my purse was, looping it through my arm and leaving the office. I made it in the SUV and sat in it whilst I blasted the air conditioning. I googled some spots in Poughkeepsie to go explore and made my way to them.

The only pick-me-up I knew when I was feeling this shitty was shopping so that's exactly what I did. Of course, not on the company's dime but I visited local shops and made purchases to adorn my apartment as well as several gifts to bring back to the city as souvenirs. I stopped at a local ice cream shop and walked alongside a park and enjoyed the greenery Poughkeepsie had to offer.

I decided to sit on a park bench and take in my surroundings. It was calm, the summer breeze felt amazing, and the shade the trees provided made the afternoon seem tender. The children were running around with their parents, no nannies in sight, and the parents seemed to engage with their children instead of being too focused on their phones or on something other than the children. It seemed like life in Poughkeepsie was so similar to the one in the city but so different at the same time. It was a beautiful town to have and raise children in, _stop thinking like that Noa, he's your boss_ , said the voice that often put me down in my head. _Yea, the same boss that flirted with you not so long ago and the same one that comforted you in the diner on your way up here; give yourself a chance, Noa._

I smiled and allowed my thoughts to go there, where I had been so adamantly been forcing them to stay away from. I imagined Trevor and I, married with children. This particular thought involved a toddler and a swollen belly, _of course he's fertile, Jesus_ , and we were at a park, much like this one and I was sitting underneath a tree as our tanned, blue-eyed son enjoyed chasing his father. I smiled at the thought and continued to eat my ice cream and reveled in what could be.

" _Mama, look!" yelled my son._

" _I'm looking, baby love, I'm looking," I responded._

 _I saw Trevor whisper something in our son's ear and I watched as the smile on the boy grew. He came running towards me, in his arms the water gun that he'd been spraying his father with and I knew what was to happen. I shook my head and braced myself for my fate. I felt it on my neck and then on my belly, "Mama, got you," said the boy in a fit of laughter._

 _I chuckled, "You did get me! Was this Daddy's idea?"_

 _The boy nodded and walked towards me, placing a kiss to my swollen belly, "Daddy said baby was hot."_

" _I bet he did," I mentioned glaring playfully at Trevor._

" _What? I love you," he said, rubbing at his neck._

 _I shook my head, "I love you too."_

The sudden blare of my phone came through, interrupting my thoughts. I groaned and reached inside my purse, again not paying attention to who was calling, "Henshall & Langan, Trevor Langan's line. This is Noa."

" _You never know how ridiculous that sounds until it is you on the other end of it_ ," Trevor mused as he chuckled.

"Trevor," I breathed out, smiling at the man's voice.

" _Hey, just wanted to let you know we're back. Where are you?_ "

"Oh, back already?" I glanced at my wristwatch and noticed that again, I had been lost in thought for nearly three hours and since it was summertime, the sun wasn't setting until way past eight in the evening, "Jesus, I lost track of time, I'm sorry."

He chuckled, " _Hey, it's ok. Where are you? Are you close?_ "

"Uh," I said, shuffling to my feet and making my way back to the SUV, "actually, I don't know but I can't be too far. I'll be there soon, I promise."

" _Ok, be careful on the road. Don't rush to get here, you're fine_."

I breathed out and nodded, hanging up the phone. "Shit! I didn't say anything and just hung up on his face," I made quick work of my fingers, texting him back and apologizing for hanging up without responding. He replied by saying that he hoped I relaxed on the weekend at the pool party.

I ignored the text message and started the car, putting my GPS for the address of the firm. Traffic wasn't all too bad so it only took me about twenty minutes to make it back to the firm. I exited the SUV with my purse and rode up the elevator and made it to the office. There, I could hear, faintly, the conversation the men were having but it wasn't until I got close that I heard what was being said, "I like my women like I like my peanut butter," Trevor said.

"And, how is that? Spreadable?" quipped Simmons.

The men laughed before Trevor could respond, "Chunky," he said, eliciting ooh's from the partners.

I smiled and decided now was a good time to speak, "I'm sorry, I lost track of time at the park."

The men snapped their head to look at me and smiled, "Stop apologizing, Noa, sheesh. Are you ready to go? We can stop for dinner on our way back."

"If you're ready, I am. Would you like me to drive?" I asked, glancing at all of them.

"I got it this time," he said approaching me, "Let me know if you need me back for court, Crenshaw. Do _not_ stonewall me, I know where you live," he chuckled as we walked.


	6. Company Pool Party

_**Company Pool Party**_

"Tristan, I cannot believe I let you talk me into buying this bikini set," I said from my room.

"Well, let's just say, Trevor will love it," he mentioned, chuckling.

I opened my bedroom door quickly, blowing air into my hair causing it to fan out to the sides. I glared at the handsome man in front of me and watched as he crossed his arms over his chest, "Damn, if I were straight, we'd be fucking," Tristan mused.

I rapidly deflated and placed my hands on my hips, turning to look at myself on my mirror. I was wearing a green two-piece bikini. The top was high neck and it crossed into an x at my back and the bottoms were of a bikini cut with metal rings at the hips. It really was a flattering bathing suit for my body shape and type and it did not expose too much. It was still professional for the type of setting we were going to be in, "Shut up," I said smiling, "Come in here and help me finish putting on my unicorn snot."

"What the hell is unicorn snot?" Tristan asked.

"It's glittery sunscreen," I answered.

"Trying to sparkle for the Langan man," he quipped.

I turned and slapped him on his chest, "Stop," I said smirking.

He chuckled, "We can all see you like each other," he said staring at me through the mirror, "It's a matter of time."

"All?"

"Well, Jeanine and I can see you like each other. It's fine, I don't think you'll be fired if you decided to date the boss but I do think you'll be moved to assist Henshall or some junior partner instead of Langan," he mused as he worked my shoulders and back.

"Well," I said sighing, "we'll cross that bridge if we even get to it. Are you done? We're going to be late."

"Yes, what are you wearing on top of the bathing suit?" he asked, rubbing his hands together to rid of any remaining lotion.

"These high waist jean shorts and this island vibes crop top," I said turning to him, "Oh, and my Birkenstocks."

"Noa Diaz," Tristan exclaimed, his mouth hanging agape.

"What," I asked, looking down at my body, as I grabbed my shorts.

"I did not know you had a nipple pierced," he said, covering his mouth with his hand, hiding his amused grin.

I rolled my eyes and pulled my crop top on, "It's not that big of a deal. My nipples are going to be marked against this fabric all day long so please, let's not make it about my tits."

He snickered and sat on my bed, "I just want to know how long it'll take before Trevor says something smart about it to you."

I glared at him as I put my hair in messy bun and pressing my baseball cap on. I pushed the loose strands from my face and achieved an overall cute look for a pool party, "I'll let you know as soon as it happens, now let's go," I chided once more as I placed my sunglasses on my nose.

We walked out of my building, my phone, credit card and cash clip, and with my keys in hand. I was not bringing a bag for this party, as I knew for sure I was to spend it mingling with the prominent clients as well as moving around and needed to have everything close by in case something did happen. We called a Lyft and arrived in SoHo at The James hotel where the reserved rooftop pool and bar were ours until six in the evening. It was barely noon but the party was bound to start soon and we needed to be there in case something came up. We approached the front desk, "Hi, excuse us, we're here for the Henshall & Langan pool party."

The blonde woman behind the desk scoffed and raised her eyebrows in disbelief, "You are?"

I looked at Tristan and removed my sunglasses, "Yes, we are," I said sternly, "Could we have our access key cards?"

"Um," she said, shuffling for the phone, "I'll have to make a call to Mr. Henshall or Mr. Langan, one moment please."

I scoffed and shook my head, mumbling under my breath, "Noa," I heard behind me.

I turned slowly and saw Trevor Langan in all his glory. His bathing suit rode low on his hips and he was wearing a short sleeve linen shirt. He had his aviators on and his toes were out in his sandals, "Trevor, thank God!"

"Why are you not upstairs? Everybody is bound to arrive soon," he said, eyeing me carefully.

"Well, we have a _situation_ here with the loutish blonde behind the counter," I said turning and crossing my arms.

Trevor chuckled behind me, "Give them the key cards, now, please. And, next time, please don't question my guests, especially my employees. I already gave you a list of people who are not to be sent up under any circumstances, understood?"

The blonde nodded and averted her eyes, handing us our key cards. Tristan and I headed towards the elevator without chancing a glance to the man, "Someone's hungry for a piece of Noa," Tristan mentioned playfully.

I pinched his ribs and he yelped, "So help me God, Tristan," I warned.

"Fine, fine, but you can't deny he _was_ looking at you like he wanted to devour you."

I smirked and looked at him, deciding to ignore his comment and placing my sunglasses back on. Exiting the elevator on the rooftop, the view was spectacular. Tristan and I had spotted some chairs near where the rest of the staff were sitting at and after greetings and small talk we found three chairs that the sun was hitting beautifully and we were close enough to the bar and had a view of the entire rooftop. I had already vowed and let known that I was not drinking: alcohol, still water, and heat did not go well and though I could hold my own, I did not want to risk anything by being inebriated. The staff was already getting comfortable and was enjoying the pool, some had already started drinking, and others were laying catching up on their vitamin D.

Tristan and I decided to chill by the pool and catch up on our tans. Tristan removed his guayabera and his boating shoes and placed his sunglasses on his face, leaning back on the chair and enjoying his beer. I chuckled at the man's easiness; he truly had all the confidence in the world. I removed my Birkenstocks and then my shorts and folded them neatly, not allowing for my money or keys to fall out; finally, I removed my crop top, fanning myself with it lightly as I placed it atop my jean shorts. I moved everything to my right side, between Tristan's and I chairs and sat back.

My ocean water and Tristan's beer sat neatly in the table between us, and our phones were there on full volume, just in case our bosses needed us for something. Through my sunglasses I could see the sheen and sparkle of the glittery sunscreen I had applied in my home and I smiled lightly. It didn't take long for the area to be filled with people that both I knew and did not but I didn't pay too much attention to it all. Jeanine had finally joined us and we were laughing and chatting up a storm when suddenly the air around me changed. I could feel him in the air. I knew he had finally made it up to the roof. I glanced towards the elevators and saw as his bathing suit hugged his hips and his linen shirt had now been open, exposing the incredibly toned body of Trevor Langan. His smile was to die for and that happy trail… God, that happy trail!

"Noa," Tristan said.

"W—What," I responded dryly.

"Babe, you're drooling," he snickered, turning to Jeanine.

I rolled my eyes and sat up on my chair, folding my legs underneath me and grabbing my ocean water from the table. I saw as Trevor made his way around and I continued to engage in the conversation I was in with Jeanine and Tristan. I was finally able to remove my stare from the man and was actually laughing heartily when he snuck up on us, "Jeanine, it's nice to see you so relaxed and at ease," he said from beside me.

"Well, it's nice when you two have someone else to do all the stressful work for a change," she responded, shielding her eyes from the sun as she looked up at the tall man.

"Tristan," he said, "I'm sorry for that mishap downstairs. She's been spoken to."

"Oh," Tristan said, sitting up and nursing his beer, "I'm sure Noa would've _spoken_ to her too if you wouldn't have shown up in time."

My company chuckled in amusement, "I think it's great you find my tongue-lashings amusing. Except when they're directed towards you, Tristan Walter Walsh," I said with a smirk.

"Yea," Tristan breathed out, rubbing his brow, "she used my government name, I think it's time for a refill," he mentioned as he stood, "Jeannie, you want something?"

"No," Jeanine responded to her shortened name, "thank you."

"Noa," he addressed me and I looked up, thankful for our sunglasses. I don't think I could've handled his blue eyes right now, "come with me, I have someone who would like to greet you."

"Greet me?" I parroted, coming to a stand, "Who wants to greet me?"

"You'll see," he said.

I knelt to grab my shorts, "You don't have to do all that, just come with me."

I looked at him over my shoulders and stood, grabbing my ocean water and phone and walking besides him, "You look irresistibly beautiful," he spoke softly, stopping me on my tracks.

"Trevor," I warned.

"No, hear me out. I've been watching you, ever since you walked into my office the day of the interview. I had been so tired of watching these girls throw themselves at me and get giddy and flirtatious every time I would stare at them but then I saw you with the Beauchamp's and I knew you were someone I could trust, that's why I dismissed you so curtly," he paused looking at me. I smiled at him and allowed him to continue, "And, then, that comment you said," he smirked.

"Trevor, if you're going to pull my leg about that comment, it's been three months, don't do it now," I said, smiling bashfully.

"I'm not," he responded, "It's why I like you. You know when to remain quiet and listen and you know how to hold your ground and stand up when it's needed to. I like you, not only because you're beautiful but because you challenge me and keep me on my toes," he paused momentarily to loop his arm around my waist, guiding me towards the mezzanine terrace of the rooftop, "Plus, my parents already like you so, that's a win in my book," he finished, smiling his boyish smile.

I nudged him with my shoulder, "So, what are you trying to say, Counselor?" I asked, gnawing at my bottom lip.

"What I'm saying, Noa is, I like you and I'd like to court you, if you'd let me," he finished nonchalantly.

I smirked and studied his face, again thankful for the safety shield that my sunglasses and his were providing. The wind blew and the sweet, peachy smell of my unicorn snot engulfed my nostrils, my loose strands of hair sticking to my lips. Every time the wind blew I was reminded of my father's words 'love is carried on the breeze' and I knew I had to at least let my guard down momentarily, especially in this moment. I removed my sunglasses and watched as he did the same. His eyes seemed bluer with the sun hitting his face from his profile and my smile grew at the sight of his sun-kissed face. I tilted my cap back a little, still shielding my eyes from the blinding sun, "I let you, Counselor."

He smiled brightly and bit his lip, "Wouldn't want it any other way," he said, turning his head to a group of men by the railing, "Fito, I brought you somebody."

We quickly approached the group of men and they turned at the sound of Trevor's voice, "Adolfo Beauchamp," I said, placing my sunglasses on the visor of my cap as I walked to hug the man that I'd known for a little over five years, "What are you doing here?"

"Well," he begun, his accent prominent, "Trevor here is a longtime family friend, his father and I go way back and when he reached out a couple of months back asking me about you and your work ethic, all I told him was that he'd be a fool to let you go."

"And, I am no fool," Trevor said, chuckling behind his whisky tumbler.

"I'm glad you learned," Adolfo mentioned, "took him nearly thirty-three years to admit that," he chuckled.

"So, how long are you in town for?" I asked Adolfo.

"For a couple of days on business," he mumbled, quickly dismissing talk about work, "The real question here is, why are you working with this bambalán instead of being out there in a PR firm?"

Trevor opened his mouth in shock, "Fito, I'll have you know she's incredible at her job. I need her by my side," he said, chuckling.

"Then marry her, cernícalo," Adolfo admonished playfully.

"Hmm," Trevor hummed, a playful grin on his face, "You're going to have to help with that one, Fito. She despises me."

"I do not!" I said, playfully patting his chest, "He just needs to understand that I won't back down just because he's my _boss_ , right Adolfo?"

Adolfo smirked and took a sip of his rum, "Trevor," he began, his accent seeming more prominent at the mention of Trevor's name, "It took me a little while to get used to this one's mouth," he said pointing at me, but his eyes remained playful, "When she finished with the first publicity campaign, she made the firm and my company double what was planned. And, that was on social media alone," Trevor glanced at me and sipped his whisky quietly, "Listen to her, it'll do you some good," Adolfo finished, patting him on his arm, "Now go, enjoy yourselves," he dismissed us.

Trevor and I exchanged glances and smiled coyly at each other, "Oh, and Noa," Adolfo said before we disappeared down the stairs, "Save a dance for me. I'll talk to the DJ," he finished, winking.

I nodded and giggled, jogging down the steps. I had placed my phone in my bottoms, having no pockets where to put it and not wanting to leave it behind in case Tristan or Jeanine needed me. We were walking back towards the bar when Trevor stopped me, "What does bambalán mean?"

I chuckled, "It means foolish or lazy but I think he meant it as the former, though."

"And that other word he said, what was it? Cer—"

"Cernícalo," I mentioned, receiving a nod from him, "Well, it's actually a bird; a hawk. Again, I believe he meant 'lout' which is synonym of 'oaf', Langan," I said, stepping closer to him, my voice dropping several octaves.

"Oof," he said, his breath catching in his throat, "Do not play with fire, Diaz."

"It's pretty hot out here already, what difference does it make?" I flirted heavily.

"How much have you had to drink?" he said, not meaning anything by it but just wanting to find out if I was in all my senses.

I saw he was holding less than a finger of whisky in his glass tumbler. Feeling bold, I snatched his tumbler away and downed the brown liquid effortlessly, "About a quarter of a shot of whisky," I said, handing him the tumbler back.

He breathed through his nose and smirked, "You're right," he said, biting his lip.

"About what?" I mentioned, cocking my head to the side, teasingly narrowing my eyes at him.

He stepped closer to my body and my heart dropped, "It is hot out here, maybe you need to cool down," he finished pushing me into the pool.

I squealed as I went down, feeling my body hit the water. I closed my eyes to prevent my contacts from popping out like they had during my breakdown at the beginning of the week. What was left of my ocean water had already combined with the pool water, and my phone… Jesus, my phone. I swam underneath the water to where I saw slightly the shaky image of the pool steps and exited the pool, touching my cap to make sure that my sunglasses were still on and surprisingly they still were. I pinched my nose and wrung out my hands, ridding them of the droplets that were fast falling down them. I saw Trevor and several others laughing at misfortune and I smirked and bit my lip as I approached that tall man. He opened his arms as is if he was welcoming in a hug, "I'm sorry, I couldn't resist myself."

I placed my hands on my hips and felt my phone peaking out of my bottoms, "Trevor, my phone," I said through my lashes.

His eyes went wide and he looked at my hip, "Shit! Noa!" he said, realizing what he had done, "I'm sorry, I'll replace it. We can go to the Apple Store tomorrow, I promise."

"Oh," I said nodding at his every word as I stepped closer, "I know you're good for it, I just want payback," I shouted as I pushed him into the pool but not before he made quick way of grabbing my wrist, pulling me down with him.

* * *

 **A/N:** This chapter will have a second part to it and after _that_ chapter, I will give you the date. Remember, this is a nice burn with build up. Also, thank you for the reviews and follow, please keep leaving them and give me your thoughts. It honestly fills up my life every time I see a review. :)


	7. Company Pool Party, 2

**WARNING:** Guys, Noa gets a little frisky in this chapter and, I mean, who can blame her? Trevor. In a bathing suit. Have some leniency with her, yea?

* * *

 _ **Company Pool Party, 2**_

We both emerged from the water, shaking our heads to rid of any falling droplets from our face, "That was good, but I got you again," he said, backstroking towards the wall at the opposite side of the pool.

I followed him, "You're a man, you have more strength than I do. That's not fair," I said, pouting.

"Oh, poor baby is pouting," he mumbled, grinning mischievously.

I rolled my eyes and reached the wall at the same time he had. He placed his hands flat on the ledge and pushed his body up and out of the pool. He stood above me and extended his arm towards me, "What?" I asked, "You can't pull me out."

"Yes, I can and I will now take my arm," he said, bracing himself.

"Trevor, y—you can't pull me out!"

"Why the hell not?"

"Because," I said, looking down at his feet, "I'm too heavy," I said softly, slowly looking up at him.

His eyes were warm and lovingly. He smiled and shook his head, "Grab my arm, please," he said; locking eyes with me, "Humor me."

I rolled my eyes at his insistence and placed both of my hands on his right forearm. He wrapped his left hand around my right wrist and pulled upwards, skillfully bringing my knees to the ledge of the pool where he planted me slowly and then helped me to a stand. He bent his body down to reach my ear, "You're not heavy, Noa. And, for what is worth, I don't ever and I mean _ever_ want to hear you address yourself as so. Understood?"

His lips were brushing against the shell of my ear and a shiver ran down my spine as I smiled and nodded. He straightened up and walked us to the bar that happened to be a couple of pool chairs down from where I had been seating with Tristan and Jeanine. They had seen the interaction between Trevor and I and were only smirking at me. I rolled my eyes and threw Tristan my phone. We waited in line for a few short minutes before we made it to the bartender and his small bar setup, "What will it be, Mr. Langan?"

"I'll have whisky, straight. And, for the lady," he trailed off looking at me.

"Oh," I smiled, "um," I eyed the options of the provided menu for the event, "Oh, I'll have a piña colada, virgin."

"You really are not drinking," Trevor asked, smirking.

I shook my head and smiled, bringing my sunglasses down from my cap visor and placing them on my face, "Nope," I said, placing my hands on my hips, "like I told Tristan; alcohol, still water, and heat do not make for a good combination."

"Oh please," he said, throwing his head back and laughing, "you were drunk that night you returned to the office. I'm pretty sure you can hold your own."

I opened my mouth and smacked his arm, "You knew?"

He grabbed his bicep with the opposite hand, "Ow! And, of course I knew. You smelled of perfume, you were chewing gum, and your eyes were glossy. You and Tristan both, had been drinking since you left the interview."

My mouth had been agape from the moment he'd begun his sentence and all I could do was shake my head in disbelief, "Whisky, straight and a piña colada, Mary style."

I chuckled at the choice of words of the bartender and grabbed my drink and begun walking away, "You really owe me a new phone, Trevor."

"I was serious about going to the Apple Store tomorrow, I'll even pick you up," he offered, "We'll make it a date," he whispered closely.

I giggled and sipped my piña colada; "It's Sunday, where are we going? Brunch and the Yankees v. Mets game?"

Trevor looked at me, surprise all over his face, " _You_ watch baseball?"

I scoffed and stopped him a few steps from my pool chair, "I played softball from the moment I turned five until I graduated college," I stood closer to him, rising on my tiptoes, I whispered to him, "How do you think I got this ass?"

I walked away and sat next to Tristan and watched as Trevor stood, shell shocked to his spot. From afar, I could see Trevor's cheeks reddened and it wasn't because of the sun, I knew better than that. I leaned back and allowed the sun to kiss my skin and dry me up. I hadn't planned on getting too wet but of course, Trevor Langan had made sure of that. Tristan and Jeanine had made it a point to bombard me with questions as to where had Trevor taken me, what had we spoken about, and what was that exchange that render him speechless.

I kept hidden the fact that Trevor had asked me out on a date and that said date was tomorrow. It wasn't that I was ashamed in any form of my boss; it was just that he was my boss! There had to be a sense of decorum in front of our coworkers and colleagues. Yes we had been flirting today and any one with eyes could definitely see what had been going on but if you had been by the office and had seen my interaction with my boss, you could also see that we were the same way in the office as well. Of course, it was an office setting and I challenged him way less but the frequent clients knew that Trevor and I had a good work relationship and we never overstepped our boundaries. It was always respectful and it would remain respectful above it all. Whether we worked out or not, I vowed to keep it respectful.

The day had progressed effortlessly and we had all mingled with the clients that were there and I had my dance with Adolfo, which proved to be a great hit with both guests and staff members. The afternoon was beginning to wind down and you had all levels of inebriated folks. No one was sober, well, except for me. Throughout the course of the day we had exchanged glances but that was it. He had thrown other staff members in the pool, like his partner Henshall, Jeanine, and Tristan. He had his fun in the pool; all the while I sat and enjoyed the rays as well as chatted with my coworkers.

"Ready to go," Tristan asked, buttoning his guayabera.

"Uh, yes. Let me just find Trevor and let him know that I'm heading out and you should find Henshall and do the same," I mentioned to Tristan as I slipped in my denim shorts.

He nodded in agreeance and surveyed our surroundings until his stare landed on the person he was looking for. He put on his boating shoes and told me he'd meet me by the elevators. I slipped my feet through my Birkenstocks as I bunched my shirt in my hands to place it over my head. I yawned; I was incredibly tired and hungry for a full meal. I saw Langan talking to Adolfo and I quickly approached, tapping my pockets to make sure that I had everything I had came in with, "Trevor, Adolfo," I interrupted politely, "I'm sorry, I just wanted to let you know that I am heading out. I think the handful of people left you can manage with," I quipped.

"Oh, yes, yes," Adolfo said, leaning forward and kissing my cheeks twice, "listen," he begun, fetching and opening his wallet to retrieve a business card, "when you get tired of this one here, give them a call. I know for sure they would love to have you."

I looked at the business card and up at Trevor. It seemed highly disrespectful of my part to accept a business card in front of my current boss, "We already discussed it, Noa. It's fine," he said behind his tumbler.

I raised my brows and took the card, pulling my credit card/cash clip and slipping it in, "Gracias, Adolfo; it was a treat to see and dance with you," I smiled.

"Who's taking you home?" Trevor asked.

"Tristan and I shared a Lyft here so that's what we're doing. We live several blocks from each other, we'll be fine," I mentioned.

"Still up for tomorrow," he quickly said, smiling.

I took the time to look at him. He had been sipping and enjoying his whisky all throughout the afternoon and he seemed completely fine, I wondered if that was his drink of choice because he had developed a sense of tolerance towards it. I smiled back at him and nodded slowly, "What time will you pick me up?"

"I'll be there at eight, what's your apartment number?"

"Oh," Adolfo piped up, "You asked her out?" he grumbled, grinning.

"I did but I also ruined her phone when I threw her in the pool," Trevor awarded, "I'm buying her a new one tomorrow."

"Pick the most expensive one, Noa. Que te corteje bien, eh?" he whispered loudly so that Trevor could hear.

I laughed and nodded, "Five delta," I mentioned as I turned to walk towards the elevator to meet with Tristan, a big smile on my face.

Tristan and I made our way downstairs and he called for a Lyft since my phone had drowned and was no longer functional. We waited approximately fifteen minutes before it got there and it took us home. I insisted on seeing Tristan be dropped off first due to the state he was in, even though I knew Jacob would take care of him, I just needed to do so for my peace of mind. After Tristan was dropped off, the driver took me to my address where I thanked and waved him goodbye. I entered my apartment slowly, taking off my shoes at the entrance. I locked the door and knelt to pick up my shoes and carry them back to my room where I quickly made work of disrobing just to hop in the shower to rid my body and hair of the chlorine and sweat of the day.

As I'm washing my hair, I can't help but recount the day. My mind slowly drifted to the memory of Trevor. The way he looked so effortless in his navy Nautica swim trunks and how well they rode on his hips. The perfect fit of his linen shirt and how well it hugged his shoulders and biceps. Trevor was a man in every sense of the word and when he finally unbuttoned his shirt, what hid underneath it was something I wasn't prepared for. His chest was ample and had scarce wisps of brown across it. It was sturdy and as you trailed your gaze down the torso of the tall man, the wisps seemed even scarcer until you reached his navel where they gathered thickly to form a prominent happy trail. The God forsaken happy trail! I heard myself moan and I noticed my hands had wandered at the thought of Trevor Langan. They were running wildly down my body, gripping and caressing where they stopped.

I threw my head back unabashedly and my mouth hung open as my fingers reached the little button between my legs. My moans were long and throaty and I couldn't help but to prop my leg on the shower ledge as I inserted two fingers into my core, "Trevor," I said in a breathy sigh. I was doing work of both of my hands, my right hand's fingers inside of me whilst my left hand's fingers were working furiously at my bundle of nerves. I leaned my back against the shower wall and pummeled my hand deeper within my walls, feeling myself contract around my fingers.

I moaned and bit my lip, clamping my eyes shut, feeling my release closer than before. I curled my fingers forward to feel that pillowy wall and felt my legs tremble, "Fuck. Me," I drowned out, feeling my orgasm on the brink. I swiped my fingers across my engorged bundle of nerves and held my breath, feeling my body tense and shudder under my own nimble touch. I yelped once I got a hold of my bearings, feeling my chest rise at every shuddering breath I took and I smiled. I ran my hands up and out from in between my legs and could feel the heat of my body as it thrummed.

I finished with my shower and walked to my room wrapped in my towel to find fresh underwear and an old college shirt. I brought my laptop to the kitchen and sat it on the counter as I chopped assorted bell peppers to have them seer in the pan on the other side of my kitchen. I was catching up on my shows whilst I nursed a glass of wine when an incoming Skype message came through, _Do you have any allergies?_

It was Trevor, of course, just was I needed after having fucked myself not too long ago to the thought of him, **Cats but if you're asking for food allergies, I have sensitivity to tomatoes.**

 _Do you_ _not_ _eat pizza then? Is that why you're so bitter all the time? ;)_

I chuckled at the message as I poured the bell peppers on the pan and stirred them effortlessly, **Screw you, Langan. I'll have you know that I can and do eat pizza. I just make sure I carry Benadryl everywhere I go.**

 _Ah, resourceful woman… I like that. I see you got home safe, unless I'm talking to someone who's pretending to be you._

I shook my head and dropped the knife, ripping paper towel from the roll to dry my hands, **It's me, you caught me at a good time too.**

I poured the cut up chicken into the pan, stirring it slightly as I added the white sauce. I poured the blend of spices and flavors on top and stirred gently, awaiting the response from my boss.

 _What are you doing?_

 **Cooking. My boss had this company pool party and he only fed us hors d'oeuvres, fruits, and alcohol, what an ass right? xD**

 _Sounds like one! Why didn't you tell him you were hungry, I'm sure he would've taken you out to eat…_

 **Between you and I, I hate the guy. I don't even know why I agreed to go out with him in the first place.**

 _Oooh, you're cold, Diaz. Don't go breaking the man's heart._

 **I won't, unless he breaks mine first.**

 _Not a chance!_

I smiled at Trevor's admission. Even though we were bantering, we were opening up conversation and admitting to feelings without having to actually speak about them seriously. I busied myself with my stove, I really was hungry and if I didn't finish, I was going to die of starvation. I continued to play my shows, forgetting about Trevor's open chat. I plated my food and walked with my laptop to my living room and sat on the couch, folding my legs underneath my body as I played the current episode I was watching on my laptop screen on my TV. I heard my computer's ring for an incoming Skype call, Trevor was calling so I paused the TV and put my feet on the ground, lowering my body to sit on the floor.

"Hey, what's going on?" I asked once I answered the call.

I chanced a glance to the screen and noticed the look of concern the man sported, " _I could ask you the same thing._ "

I furrowed my brow and face palmed myself, "Oh, Trevor! I am so sorry," I relented, bringing my hand down, "I was cooking and got distracted with my show," I breathed out and offered a sheep smile, "I'm sorry."

He let his shoulders relax and he smiled, _Jesus Trev!_ " _No, no, I'm sorry. I just jumped to conclusions and since I can't call you well, I worried._ "

"That's sweet of you," I said, bringing my spoon to my mouth.

" _You can cook?_ " he asked, raising his eyebrows and curling his mouth into a smirk.

"If I want to survive I have to eat, Trevor."

" _What's on the menu?_ "

"Uh," I looked at my plate and smiled, raising my stare to meet his on my laptop screen, "creamy chicken with vegetables. Oh," I said, reaching behind my laptop to my plate of pita, "and pita bread," I said as I ripped a piece, dipping it in the plate.

" _Looks delicious_ ," he said, running a towel through his hair.

"I'm glad you know how to shower, Counselor. Wouldn't want to go on a date with you tomorrow and smell chlorine," I quipped.

" _And, here I thought that chlorine was an aphrodisiac_ ," he insinuated with his eyes.

"I mean, it can be if that's your thing, you know. But, I'm not into dating serial killers or homicidal maniacs…" I tittered.

He laughed on his end, " _Funny, smart, and witty; is there an endearing quality you do not possess, Ms. Diaz?_ "

"I already agreed to go on a date with you, Langan," I bashed playfully, rolling my eyes, "You don't have to woo me into saying yes again," I smiled.

" _Ha! If tomorrow goes how I've planned, I have a feeling I'll be wooing you for quite some time to come_."

I raised my brow in curiosity, "Getting cocky already, I see. What do you have planned for us tomorrow?"

" _I believe the word you used was 'gloat'_ ," he said, narrowing his stare, " _And, you're just going to have to wait and see. We'll have fun_ ," he finished, shrugging his shoulders.

I hummed and cocked my head to the side, narrowing my eyes at him. He chuckled on the other side and shook his head, seemingly unimpressed at my antics. I repeated my motions but this time cocking my head to the other side, causing him to laugh and clap his hands, "You really are not telling me?"

" _No, you'll know nothing until tomorrow. Understood?_ "

I hummed once more and smirked, tucking my now wavy hair behind my ear, "Understood."

* * *

 **A/N:** After this comes 'The Date' and I think it'll be two chapters of that.

Thank you to all that have reviewed! My heart loves you.


	8. The Date

_**The Date**_

Buzz! Buzz!

 _What the hell is that noise?_

Buzz! Buzz! Buzz!

 _Is that my buzzer? Ugh!_ I slung my feet over the edge of my bed as I walked to the intercom. _Must be someone who forgot their keys and are just pressing random ass buttons to gain access to the building, asshole!_

I pressed the release button and walked back to my room, yawning in the process. As I was about to get in my bed, someone knocked on my door, "Jesus Christ!" I huffed, shuffling to get out of the bed. I stomped my way through the hall and past the kitchen and living room and turned to my door, quickly making way to the chain and locks, "It's too early for Jehovah's Witnesses," I mumbled as I slowly opened my eyes to see a comfortable Trevor Langan in a Noah Syndergaard base jersey with straight cut denim shorts and navy wool runners. My breath hitched in my throat as I caught the expression on his face. He was wearing a Mets baseball cap and his aviators, "Good morning," he said.

"Trevor," I exclaimed, moving my body to unblock the path to the inside of my dwelling, "what time is it?" I asked as I shut the door behind the man.

"Five after eight," he said turning, removing his sunglasses and smirking as he eyed me up and down, "Do you always answer your door half naked?"

I furrowed my brow and tucked my wavy tresses behind my ear, "Don't, please," I begged, motioning him to sit, "I already feel like shit for not being ready."

He chuckled and raised his hands in defeat, "Nice place you got here," he conceded.

"Thank you," I said, leaning against the wall that hid the kitchen, attempting to keep as much distance as possible from the fully dressed man and myself, "Do you want something to drink?"

"Uh, water or juice would be fine, thanks," he mentioned as he stood, following me to the kitchen entrance.

Trevor leaned on the archway as I sifted through my cabinets looking for a glass tumbler and opened my refrigerator door, "Apple, orange, cranberry or grape?" I asked, turning my head to give him eye contact.

"Orange is fine," he smiled, "How European of you to have your washer in your kitchen."

I giggled and shook my head as I poured him a glass of orange juice, "It's an all-in-one for your information," I said, narrowing my eyes at him as I handed the glass to him.

He raised his brows, "Did that come with the unit or did you persuade the landlord to install it for you?"

I smirked and danced my eyes over his face, noticing the light stubble that had formed on his jaw "Wouldn't you like to know?"

He shook his head and sipped his juice, "So, are we going to have to skip brunch or…" he trailed off, eyeing me from over the lip of the glass.

I scoffed and shook my head, "I'll be ready in ten minutes for your information," I challenged, stepping closer to the man and watching him tense and hold his breath, "I'll even keep my door open so that you can hear my every move," I mumbled closely as I ducked away from the kitchen and down the hall to my room.

I entered my closet and found my Yankees crew neck baseball tee with striped arms and paired it with ankle jeans and my Adidas baseline sneakers. I ducked in my adjoining bathroom and brushed my teeth and face and quickly applied my contact lenses as well as some mascara. I decided to leave my hair in my natural bed head wave and tucked it behind my ears as I moved to my room to my sunglasses drawer. My eyes danced between my Ray-Ban's 3016 Clubmaster and my oversized squares. I groaned and grabbed them both, "Trevor," I said as I walked down my hallway and entered the open spacing of my living room.

He had been standing in front of my floating shelves, taking in my multiple trophies and medals from both academic as well as sports triumphs, "MVP all four years of college, two Gold Gloves, Best Defensive Player, Player of the Year, and Freshman of the Year. Oh, and let's not forget, you guys won the Atlantic-10 Conference three years in a row," he mused impressed at my softball accolades, "Why didn't you mention any of this?" he smiled.

I shrugged and returned the smile, "Contrary to what you may think, Langan, I don't gloat," I retorted, smirking.

He chuckled and shook his head, "Did you need my opinion in something?" he said, motioning to my sunglasses.

I looked down at my hands and widened my eyes, "Yes, which ones?" I asked, trying both my Clubmaster's and my squares.

He rubbed his chin, "I will always be a fan of Ray-Ban," he said, pointing at his shirt collar where his aviators rested, "but, I like how the squares look with the outfit."

I smiled and placed the Ray-Ban's atop my coffee table and grabbed my keys and my card clip and shoved it in my back pocket as I clipped my keys to my belt loop, "I'm ready," I said, placing my sunglasses atop my head.

He smiled and motioned for me to walk in front of him. I did and once out the door, I turned to lock it and we made our way downstairs to his SUV. He politely opened the door for me and I slid in, waiting for his return, "First stop, Apple Store," he said, starting his ignition.

I placed my sunglasses on and yawned. I was still half-asleep and I needed my boost of caffeine if I wanted to function through this day, "What happened, sleepyhead?" he begun.

I smiled and turned on the seat, "I don't have a phone to set an alarm on. You know, my boss threw me in a ditch filled with water and it kind of ruined my cellphone," I joked.

He shook his head and chuckled, "We're getting you a new one," he motioned to the road as he came up to a stop light, "Yankees, really?"

I opened my mouth in a silent 'o', "Don't you dare, Trevor!" I begun, "I could say the same about you, Mets?" I raised my brows, "And, Thor of all people."

"Hey!" he admonished playfully, "Noah is great at what he does."

"Oh, I'm sure all Noah's are great at what they do," I hinted, an undetected impish gleam in my eyes, "You're from Queens, I get it."

"What does that even mean?" he said behind a smirk.

"Mets fans tend to be from Queens, I don't mean anything from it, I promise," I smiled.

He hummed, "How about a friendly wager," he offered.

"Friendly wager?" I parroted, he nodded, "What are we, fifteen?"

He guffawed, "Live a little, Noa; damn!" he expressed, "It's called 'competitive dating'. Plus, you seem very competitive," he turned to smirk at me.

I licked and bit my lips unintentionally, noting the man's slow breathing, "I'm listening."

"Game is scheduled to end at three, losing team gets to do one dare, no holds barred."

I smiled devilishly, "You are _so_ on, Counselor."

"But," he interrupted as I groaned; "we play a round of truth all through brunch and the remainder of the game. Once the game ends, so does the round of truth."

I blinked slowly behind the dark of my sunglasses, "Rules?"

He thought briefly, "No rules, everything goes."

"What if I'm not comfortable with the question at play, Trevor. You can't make me answer and neither can I."

He hummed and drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, "Then the interviewee gets to redirect the question in a form that it can be answered."

"Any topics off limits for you?" I smirked.

He turned his head to look at me and smirked, "No," he offered simply, "for you?"

"None," I deadpanned.

We quickly arrived at the Apple Store on Fifth Ave. and were glad Trevor had thought to set an appointment so that the employees could have everything at hand. He got me the newest model with the same memory capacity as my drowned one and got me a protective case with it as well. The gal at the Genius Bar made work of the phone and helped set up the iCloud and made sure everything was set and even called my phone carrier to have it set up for calls and messages before we left the store. It didn't go unnoticed that she was flirting with Trevor.

I kept noticing the glances, the smiles, and the subtle touches she would sneak as Trevor and her engaged in conversation whilst I hung back and played with the display electronics around the store. I could feel the anger inside me boil, for what reason? I don't know, all I knew is that it was there and the more I watched the petite brunette flirt with the man that had kept me up on more than one occasion and had been the reason for my desire to sky rocket and come crashing and burning as it wracked my body with spasms, the more upset I got.

I sauntered towards Trevor and looped my arms through his back all the way to his front, pressing my body against his as he lifted his right arm to award me access as I moved to his side, "Thank you," I husked, leaning my head against his chest, "You didn't have to go through all the stops for me," I finished, looking up at him.

His right arm was draped down my back and looped to rest on my waist, "You're welcome. It's the least I can do after ruining your phone yesterday."

"Well, you couldn't wait to get me wet, huh?" I said, my voice low in my throat.

Trevor had an amused grin on his face, "Couldn't pass up the opportunity when it was right in front of me."

I scoffed playfully and smirked, "Are you almost done? I'm hungry."

Our stares were fixed on each other's lips and eyes, the two places that seemed relevant at the moment, "Yes, almost."

"Yea?" I husked, pressing my chest to his ribcage and tightening my hold on him slightly.

He nodded and bit his lip, his blue eyes playful but still expectant. I smiled and bit my lip, moving my eyes to his lips but not really moving or hinting at anything else. I moved my gaze back to his eyes and winked, tapping his chest lightly; "Want to wait for me upfront? I'm almost done here."

I nodded and threw a pointed look towards the clerk behind the desk and walked away. I hung around the entrance and waited for Trevor to approach me with my new phone in his hands. He handed me the phone and advised me to call him to make sure everything was in order and I did as advised as we walked back to the SUV. We slid in and begun making our way towards the brunch café that Trevor had chosen for us. For the most part, the ride was silent but heavy in tension and I couldn't help but smile at the thought of it. I knew what I had done and I knew that he knew what I done as well but I was not awarding him the gift of my sight. I yawned once more and reached through the bottom of my sunglasses to wipe the tears that had collected in my eyes.

"We're almost there, I promise," he conceded.

I nodded, still averting my eyes from him when I felt his hand on my knee. I looked down at his hand and up at him with a smirk, "What was that back there?"

"I thought the round of truth started once we're sat having brunch," I mentioned quickly.

He smirked and scoffed, shaking his head, "Fine, we can talk about something else then."

"No, because whatever we talk about, we'll end up within the round of truth guidelines so why don't we ride in silence, Trev."

He looked at me and nodded, "One condition, though."

I rolled my neck and grunted, "You and your wagers, what? What is it?"

He laughed loudly, "I get to keep my hand, right here where it is at right now."

I smirked and raised my sunglasses to the crown of my head, giving him a playful glare. I placed my hand atop of his and lifted it so that I could cross my legs and I placed his hand atop my knee once more. I lowered my sunglasses and leaned back with my phone as I configured it to my liking. I felt Trevor's hand travel up my thigh and back down again as we cruised through the Bruckner Expressway. It wasn't long after that when we arrived to Jimmy's. We quickly placed our orders once we were seated and we sat waiting for everything to be brought out, "So, what was that back there?" he commenced.

I threw my head back in laughter, "You're not letting that go, are you?"

He shook his head, placing his mug on the table, "I was not expecting that."

"It was nothing, Trevor. It was I, being grateful."

"It was you being jealous, that's what it was."

"Screw you," I playfully bit back.

"Likewise but you're not being truthful with your answers, Noa."

"Ugh, fine," I said, locking eyes with him, "I was jealous."

He hummed and winked at me, "Why?"

I raised my brows, "Don't make me say it."

"Everything goes," he retorted.

I rubbed my brow and sighed, "She was laying it heavy on you and you were just soaking it all up."

He snickered and nodded, "She was not flirting with me, Noa."

"Yea, and I'm a fiery redhead with green eyes. Please," I finished, shaking my head.

At this point our food had arrived and we thanked our server and begun eating, "Are you the jealous type, Trevor?"

He glanced at me through his lashes, "Only with reasoning."

I nodded and took a bite of my French toast, "What really happened between you and Katarina?" I asked. I knew what had been known throughout the office, that they had dated for a short period of time and she had become extremely possessive and Trevor had called it off which subsequently led to her constant calls and harassment to his persona.

He stopped eating and took a sip of his glass of juice, "What have you heard?"

"You dated for a short period of time and she became clingy and you broke it off. Now, she calls my line multiple times a day asking for you," I finished, attempting to lift the sudden dreary air that fell upon us.

He smiled and swallowed the bite he had taken, "We met two years ago at a corporate party. She was there accompanying one of my colleagues, he didn't want to go by himself and they'd been friends for a long time so they went together. Anyhow, we exchanged numbers and became friendly soon thereafter. We…" he paused and grinned.

I furrowed my brow and took a sip of my juice, "You what?" I smirked, "Let's be adults about this, Trevor."

"We were intimate," he deadpanned, "We were intimate before we dated and we dated because, I thought," he paused briefly, "I had developed feelings for her. We dated for about a year," I raised my brows at the admission, "I only brought her around our last four months. She kept harassing me about my then assistant and I had enough."

"What did Gigi and Senior think of her?"

"Oh, they never met her but they heard a lot about her and her kid."

I waved my hands in front of myself and chewed quickly, "A kid? Is it yours?"

"No, I have no children, Noa," he smiled his boyish smile, "But, yes, she has a child. He was three when I first met him and he was," he chuckled, "he was something but we became close. It _bothered_ ," he narrowed his eyes, "me when we broke up but he's not mine and there's nothing I can do about that."

I smiled at the genuine words that left his mouth and nodded, "Can I have a bite of your steak and eggs?" I smiled and batted my lashes.

Trevor chuckled, "Can I feed it to you?"

I rolled my eyes and nodded. Trevor cut up a piece of steak and pinched some scrambled eggs and held his fork up, making his opposite hand as a cup underneath in case it spilled everywhere. I giggled and opened my mouth, having Trevor direct the fork to my mouth carefully. I nodded and chewed, "That's really good," I mumbled.

"I have a question for you," he said, smiling.

"Shoot," I say, wiping the corner of my mouth with the napkin.

"You say you're a foodie but you've been out of New York for seven years, how is it that you know about these restaurants?"

I smiled and sighed, "My uh, my father wrote a food column."

"Did he now?"

I nodded, "Did you ever read 'The Garden of Eating'?"

"Wait, _your father_ _wrote_ 'The Garden of Eating'?" he asked, stopping mid-bite.

I chuckled, "He did. He, uh, before he past they were paying him to go out every day, which my mother and him thoroughly enjoyed since it put him out of the house. He didn't have much energy to actually write but he would record his thoughts," I smiled and shuffled on my seat, "That restaurant we went to with your parents was the last place he visited before his passing. The magazine never got around to having him sign a release form so, there's over thirty recordings of restaurants that won't ever be discovered."

* * *

 **A/N:** Someone PM'd me asking me if the places that I referenced to in my stories are real places in New York and yes, they are. New York is my home (even though I don't live up there anymore) I grew up between Brooklyn and Bronx and I visit regularly because of family so yes, if you're ever in New York, specifically in the Bronx, go to Jimmy's-they're the bomb! Also, reviewwww! :)


	9. The Date, 2

_**The Date, 2**_

"Jesus, I'm glad we got here when we did. Otherwise, this could've been a bloodbath," Trevor conceded as we sat in our respective seats at Yankee Stadium.

I chuckled, "It's going to be a bloodbath no matter what. You're talking about the two _most_ competitive fan base in the world."

"You're right about that, young lady," said an older gentleman behind us, "You must really like him to let him leave the house wearing that gaudy orange," he quipped, winking at me.

"I don't know," I said, glancing at the old man and back at Trevor, "it doesn't help that he looks so good in said gaudy orange."

The older gentleman chuckled, "Ah, to be young and in love."

I smirked at Trevor, "What?"

"I look good in 'gaudy orange'?" he said, using air quotations.

"If I'm honest, Trevor," I paused, rolling my eyes, "you look good in almost every color you've worn."

"Ha!" he chuckled, "I know."

I placed my hand on my chest and opened my mouth, "Oh, the humility!"

He nudged me playfully, shaking his head, "Never took you for a beer type of girl, what's your favorite?"

"Wits," I answered.

Trevor hummed with a smile, "Favorite ale?"

"I'm between Allagash White or Bell's Oberon," I answered, taking a sip of my beer.

Trevor nodded, "So, what's with you and whisky?"

"Oh," he said, closing his eyes and hanging his head, "it's a pleasure I _thoroughly_ enjoy."

"Hmm," I begun, narrowing my eyes behind my sunglasses, "what other pleasures do you _thoroughly_ enjoy?"

He bit his lip and smiled, "Only one other comes to mind."

I raised my brows and turned slightly on my seat, "And, that is?"

"Your company," he mentioned matter-of-factly.

I shook my head as I adjusted my body to watch the game. We had continued our heavy flirting and we had learned a lot about each other. We arrived at the game right at the bottom of the fifth where no team had scored a run and we were just beginning the top of the sixth with the Mets being first at bat, "You grew up around here, correct?"

I nodded, "Yea, I grew up in Tremont. My mother has been in the same apartment building for nearly thirty years and she _does not_ see herself moving out any time soon."

"Are you close to her? Your mom, I mean," he asked as he coolly leaned back and placed his ankle over his knee.

"Uh," I faltered, scratching my head and scrunching my nose, "my mother and I have never seen eye-to-eye."

"If I ask you why, will you answer?" he tried, a gesture I appreciated.

Even though he had said that I could redirect the question to be answered in another possible way, but no matter how I redirected the question, the answer wouldn't change. It's not like Trevor wasn't privy to my somewhat dysfunctional family drama. He did witness—firsthand—my outrage towards my sister and her interminable prodding for money to support her shopping habit and he witnessed the aftermath of it too, they way I had broken down and fallen apart just because I was being made out to be the enemy.

I smiled and nodded, "My sister is my mother's idea of a perfect woman. So, we differ a lot and me, having this fast mouth, got in a lot of trouble. I just won't back down to her opinions about my body. It's mine and I get to do with it what I want. And, yes, there are some times where I'm equally as harsh if not more but just give me a good donut and I'll be fine," I smiled once I finished, attempting to salvage the mood.

Trevor leaned on the armrest between us and removed his sunglasses, "You, Noa, are one of the most beautiful women I've seen; both inside and out," he said with conviction, his blue eyes staring deep in mine, "You're not heavy, you're not fat… there is _nothing_ wrong with your body," he said, shaking his head, "And, I personally enjoy my woman like my peanut butter," he finished with a smirk, placing his sunglasses back on his face.

I rolled my eyes and smiled, "Oh, I heard."

He chuckled and took a sip of his beer and we continued to watch the game. Trevor became rowdy once the Mets scored two runs in the inning and then the Yankees proceeded to score another run. The Yankees were up for now and I knew exactly what I wanted to do once I won this so called, friendly wager, "Ready to face your fate, Counselor?"

He chuckled and bit his lip, "Already gloating, Ms. Diaz?"

"It's not gloating if it's a fact, Mr. Langan."

"We still have a couple of more minutes for the inning to finish, Noa."

"Then," I said, leaning forward on the armrest, my face mere inches from his, "we should get going and by the time we make it to where I want to take you to face your fate, we'll know who won."

Trevor removed his sunglasses and placed them on his cap visor. He reached over and removed mine carefully, holding them in his hands. I had crossed my eyes and he chuckled at my silliness, "I think you just want to get me alone," he husked.

I leaned closer, arching my brow, "Yea? Is that so?"

He smirked and moved his eyes to my lips and back again to my eyes, "That is very much so."

I giggled softly, leaning closer. At this point, our breaths had mixed and I could smell Trevor's Guinness Blonde and could see the faintest smirk on his lips, "Hmm, don't you think if I wanted you alone, I wouldn't have let you leave my apartment this morning?" I husked coolly, my voice deep in my throat.

"Ah, see," he said, propping his other elbow on the armrest between us, "maybe that's all part of your endgame."

I giggled once more and leaned again, feeling our noses touch slightly. Any sudden movement and our lips could touch at any second but I didn't want that, not yet at least. I smirked and bit my lip, brushing my nose against his. He chuckled as his eyes danced across my face, "Come on, up and at 'em," I whispered, pulling back and standing abruptly.

I heard Trevor groan as he gulped the remaining amber liquid. He stood and placed his hand at the small of my back, pushing me through the seats and out of the bleachers. We were able to make it outside and walked towards the parking lot. We walked close to each other until I felt Trevor's hand in mine, his fingers looping through the spaces of mine. I smiled up at him and was blinded by the sun and I remembered that he had my sunglasses in his possession. I brought my head down, shaking it in disbelief and I noticed a car with a political sticker on its bumper and searched through my brain for Trevor's political party. We hadn't discussed politics at all, not in the office and certainly not throughout our date, "What are your political views, Trevor?"

He looked down at me with a shocked face, "Do you _really_ want to discuss politics on a first date?"

"What better time than _on_ a first date?" I countered, smiling up at him, "I need to know because honestly, it could make or break this relationship," I quipped seriously.

He sighed and nodded, "I'm a Democrat, and so are my siblings. My parents on the other hand…" he trailed off, looking at me.

I nodded and smiled, releasing our hands to open the SUV door. I slid in and he closed the door, walking briskly to his side. He climbed on his side and started the car, "Where to?"

"Jump on FDR, we're going to the East Village," I awarded as the car began its motion.

Trevor rested his right hand on my knee and I placed my hand on top of his, curling my fingers around his palm. We rode in silence, jamming to the tunes that the radio provided, "What is the type of music that you hate?" he asked.

"Oh," I grunted, leaning my head back on the headrest, "country," he looked at me dumbfounded, "I mean, I love the stories that they tell but I just can't stand that circus-type melody," I laughed.

"Oh yea, be offensive too, Noa," he chided playfully.

"When did you lose your virginity?" I boldly stated, smirking.

He laughed heartily, shaking his head, "Bold, are we?" I shrugged, smiling, "I was fourteen. Stacey McCormick, she was a junior," he bit his lip as he turned to face me.

"Was it weird?"

"Of course it was weird but after the first time, everything changed. I'm a quick study," he boasted, "What about you? I'm sure this is what you meant when you said your Catholic teachings had gone out the window."

I nodded, moving our hands so that I could cross my legs, "I was a late bloomer," I whined playfully, "I didn't lose my virginity until I was twenty, almost twenty one. Remember, there are a lot of stigmas around softball players so it took a while."

"Come on, don't stop on my account," he prodded.

I sighed, "Brody Johnston, I met him at a party when I was nineteen. We liked each other and we talked. He knew I was a virgin but I told him that when and if I did decide to give it him, it would be on my terms, not his. So the following year, a week before Valentine's we did it. He never lasted long and it frustrated me at first but then I learned that if I wanted him to last, I had to make him come first, _that's_ when it became pleasurable for me."

"Did you guys last long?"

I shook my head, "Two years and some change, I moved that summer after graduation to Spain."

"And, in Spain?" he smirked.

I chuckled and nodded, taking note that we were about to hop off of FDR, "Take a right on E 25th and then a left on 2nd Ave," I directed Trevor as he hummed, "I dated in Spain but it was only three guys, one of them turned out to be married with kids but we never did anything, thank God."

"Would you say you're inexperienced in bed?" he blushed slightly but smirked at his inquiry.

I laughed, "I've watched a lot of porn, Trevor. I was a horny virgin, especially when you're in a locker room with lesbians talking about the asses they took home. Trust me, I can hold my own in the bedroom," I husked, glancing at him.

He cleared his throat, "I'm a skeptic, I have to see to believe."

"You'll see, then," I finished, looking out the window, "We're here, there's a parking garage two minutes from here."

"I know where it is," he mentioned before removing his hand from my knee and maneuvering his way towards the garage.

We made a short five-minute walk back to the restaurant just as my phone chimed with the score of the game. I smirked and showed him the score and he whined and complained saying that I had brought bad luck upon his team by leaving beforehand. We made it to Brick Lane Curry House where I was going to make Trevor participate in the Phaal Curry Challenge. I knew his love for spicy Indian food and the spicier, the better—for him.

I, in the other hand, highly disliked spicy food in general so I was here to provide moral support. We sat and as the waitress approached us, I ordered the Phaal for Trevor. She asked if this was some sort of dare to which she made Trevor verbally state his willing participation, relieving the restaurant and their affiliates of any physical or emotional damage after having ate the curry. I ordered rice and raita for Trevor and of course water to assuage the heat.

The waitress left and shortly brought the plates out. Trevor took a bite and hummed, hinting at the heat, "I'm going to need a distraction, this is _hot_!"

I giggled, "Have you ever been in love?"

"Oh," he hummed and hissed, swallowing the curry he had mixed with the rice and pita, "we're still with the round of truth?"

I nodded, "This is brutal, Trev," I admitted, biting my lip, "You'll definitely need a distraction."

He smiled, "I don't think any type of conversation will distract me from this heat, Noa," he chuckled, mid-bite.

"Try the raita, it's supposed to help with the heat," I watched as he dipped his spoon in the raita and took a bite, sighing as it alleviated the heat in his mouth.

He took a sip of water, "Yes, I've been in love. I was even engaged, too."

"Engaged? What happened?"

He cleared his throat, "She cheated; with someone really close to me."

"Oh, Trev," I said with a sad smile, reaching across the table for his hand, "Umm, are they together?"

He nodded, wiping his forehead with his free hand, "They're married with two kids, twins," he chuckled dryly shaking his head.

"D—Do you still have feelings for her?" I asked, averting my eyes.

Something told me that he might have lingering feelings for this woman but at the same time, that's all they were, _lingering feelings_. Meaning that he felt he did but he knew that he didn't. Still, it was a scary feeling to know—or possibly know—that the man that my breathing would slow and pick up for, that my heart would nearly beat out of my chest for, and that my body would respond and react they way it did with just a mere thought of that handsome face or that boyish smile _emotionally_ belonged to someone else. It was shattering and core rattling but still, I waited for his reply as I watched the beauty of his florid face due to the heat of the curry.

"Sometimes I _think_ I do but I know I don't. I think I just miss the companionship, that's what I _do_ miss, is having someone to call my own," he admitted with a smile.

I nodded and smiled as I looked at the curry bowl, "Oh my God, Trevor!" he looked up at me as he chewed, fanning his face, "You're almost done. I—I—I—wow!"

"Wasn't it you that said that you knew how competitive I was," he chuckled.

I shook my head and watched as he took the last few spoonfuls of his curry and rice. The raita had seriously helped with the heat and he had been able to complete the challenge. The staff gave him a free Kingfisher and awarded him a certificate of participation and took a picture of him for he wall. We exited the restaurant and outside we stopped mid-stride, "Since you've been such a good sport," I begun, "I think it's only fair if you counter the dare, _Counselor_ ," I uttered, looking up at the towering man above me.

"Hmm, really?" he asked and I nodded, "Well in that case," he trailed off, "actually, I'll wait to cash it in."

I snickered and shook my head, "Hey, you didn't eat. Are you hungry?"

"I am actually."

"Where would you like to go?"

"We can go to a deli, soup and sandwiches?"

He nodded and placed his hand at the small of my back as he directed us towards the garage. He drove us to the deli where we sat in and he watched me eat as he prodded me with more questions, stating that it was only fair since I had prodded him during his dinner. I answered his questions on love, my time in Spain, and what made me go into PR in the first place. After dinner he drove me home and we continued to talk on our way there. As he answered a phone call from his sister, I eyed him. He was biting his lip, suppressing his laughter as his sister shared a somewhat hilarious story about their nephew.

Of course I paid no attention to what was being said through the SUV's Bluetooth system as I was too invested in admiration of the vessel next to me. His voice husked as he chuckled. His jaw became prominent at every curl of his smile. His arms flexed as he gripped the steering wheel at every turn through the streets of Manhattan on our way to Harlem.

 _Jesus help me! Why am I staring at Trevor like a piece of meat? Oh God, he's looking at me. A—Are his eyes glistening?_

I felt myself smile as his lips moved again, "What?"

"We're here," he relented again. I looked outside my window to see my building, "Can I accompany you upstairs?"

I nodded and exited the car. We approached the door and I used my keys to open the downstairs door and once inside we rode the elevator to the fifth floor where my apartment was located, "I would invite you in for a nightcap but we have work tomorrow and I don't think my boss would appreciate me arriving late," I quipped as I looked up at him.

He chuckled, "You're right but I think I'm ready to cash in my dare," I raised my brows and crossed my arms at my chest, "Kiss me."

I smiled and dropped my arms, inching closer to him. He leaned forward, his face centimeters from mine, our lips asking to be touched; I smirked and moved my mouth to the corner of his, placing a sweet peck, "Thank you for today, Trev. Good night," I whispered against his mouth, earning myself a breathy chuckle and an impish glare.

* * *

 **A/N:** I'll make you wait just a little bit longer for the kiss. A real one anyways. Next chapter, I promise.


	10. Schmoozing

_**Schmoozing**_

I had been on cloud nine ever since Sunday evening after Trevor dropped me off in my apartment. The man really did show me a great time! Once Monday came, the stares had continued, the undetected flirting had sprouted, and every time we spoke or were face to face, he never took his gaze off of my lips. I had left him with a taste of what could be and he had handled it well but by the looks he continuously kept giving me, I knew he would try again. We raised suspicions on Monday morning when he sneaked my oversized square sunglasses to my desk as he passed me by accompanied by Henshall. I had heard their muffled conversation and Trevor avoided and evaded answering his questions but I could tell, even through the muffled sound of his voice, he was amused by it all.

My office phone snapped me back and I noticed it was Trevor's line, "Yea," I said, shuffling with some papers atop my desk.

" _Can_ _you_ _come_ _in_ _here?_ " he piped quickly.

"Do you need anything?"

" _Just_ _you_ ," he answered.

We hung up and I stood, fixing my bodycon, cap sleeve dress. I opened his door and walked in; leaning against the chair in front of his desk, "Talk to me."

He smirked as he eyed me, "I have a networking dinner event tonight and I would be delighted if you were my date," he said, propping his elbows on his desk.

I smiled and shifted on my feet, "Another date, Mr. Langan? I believe someone's smitten," I finished, tucking my hair behind my ear.

He chuckled and shook his head, "You won't know for sure unless you agree."

" _That's_ blackmail," I responded with a breathy chuckle.

He leaned back on his chair, "I happen to know a few good lawyers," he smiled and bit his lip.

"Ha!" I replied, throwing my head back, "What time should I expect you by?"

"Seven," he answered as I turned away to walk out of his office.

I was almost to the door when I turned, placing my hands on my hips, "W—What are you wearing?"

He scoffed, "What?"

"What are you wearing?" I repeated.

"Uh," he begun, rubbing the back of his neck, "it's a little more casual but uh, I'm wearing a navy suit, no tie."

I rolled my eyes in thought thinking of my closet and its contents. I nodded and left the office, "I'm leaving at four then," I finished over my shoulder.

* * *

As promised, I left at four from the office and quickly made it home. By the time I had arrived, I only had about two hours to do everything that I needed to do in order to be ready for this date with Trevor. I quickly showered and washed my hair, I was going for a slick look and I needed my hair to cooperate with me. I applied shimmery lotion on my chest and shoulders and stepped in some cheeky lace underwear. I was going to wear a light blue suit. The pants were high waist and tapered at the legs and I was going to match it with a lacy burgundy bralette. I ran to the bathroom and begun drying and straightening my hair. Once that was accomplished, I loved the sleekness of my long bob haircut; I ran my fingers through the front and tucked both sides behind my ears, quickly making work of my makeup.

It was nighttime and I needed something dark to match my shoes and bralette. This was going to be a first for Trevor as I just wore loose powder, bronzer, and mascara for work but not tonight, tonight he was bound to see me with a full face of makeup. I applied gold, burgundy, and chocolate to my eyelids, blending all three colors to give it a nice smoky look. I applied my winged eyeliner and my Ardell's 110 lashes. I made quick work of my concealer, powder, and contour and finished my face with a burgundy matte liquid lip. I sighed and admired my work, now all I needed to do was get dressed and pray that Trevor didn't show up bef—Buzz! Buzz!

"Fuck, me," I said, closing my eyes and craning my head back on my neck. I walked to my intercom box, "Trev," I asked.

" _Yes, it's me_ ," came the low rumble of his voice.

"Hey, I'm going to let you up and the door is open, I have to finish getting dressed," I pressed the release button and ran to my front door, quickly unlocking the chain and bolt and sprinting to my room. I made quick work of my high waist pants and placed them on, running my hands down my thighs to smooth the fabric out when I heard the faint click of my door.

"It's me, please don't shoot," he quipped. He came to view and he glanced down the hall where I stood with my hands on my hips, admiring his tall frame clad in a navy power suit with crisp white shirt. He had left open the top three buttons and had buttoned his single-button jacket. He looked sharp and fucking fuckable, _I need a drink!_

He was smirking at me, _What exactly is going through his head right about now?_ "Have a seat, please. I'll be out soon."

He nodded and disappeared behind the wall. I sat on my bed and placed my burgundy suede, three bow-strap heels on and grabbed the jacket of the suit. I had spread over my bed my matte lipstick, my compact, my glasses, and my card/cash clip. Something told me to grab my work keys and key card so I did and walked out of the room, stopping in the hallway bathroom to spray myself with my vanilla sandalwood scent and approached the living room.

"Noa," Trevor breathed out, standing. His eyes trailed my feet, legs, midsection, diverting across my chest, and up to my face, "Y—You look beautiful," he gestured.

I smiled, "Thank you, you look handsome as well, Counselor. Could you pass me that burgundy clutch next to you, please?"

He bended at the waist to retrieve what I was asking for and held it open for me as I discarded everything I had in my hands inside the hand bag. I draped the jacket over my head and slipped my arms through, buttoning its single button and allowing for the bralette to peek through. I reached for my clutch and knelt to grab my phone atop the coffee table, "Ready?" I said, looking up at him. The height of the heels allowed for better eye contact between Trevor and I, "Oh, before I forget," I husked, stepping closer and placing my palm flat against his chest, craning my neck to reach his lips. I parted my lips slightly, tilting my head to align them perfectly with the corner of his mouth where I placed a heated, open mouth kiss. The only audible sound through the apartment was the subtle smack my lips made against his at the light suction.

Trevor's chest grumbled and before I knew it, I was pinned against a wall, breathing heavy and ragged, "You're messing with my head woman," Trevor growled near my lips, hovering dangerously close over them.

I hummed and smirked, "Then, I'm doing my job, _Counselor_."

Trevor's eyes danced between mine, a rogue glint gleaming through. He scoffed playfully and backed away, running his fingers through his hair, "Let's go before something else prevents us from leaving this apartment."

I tittered low and throaty as I fidgeted with my index finger ring, pushing my hair behind my ear.

The car ride was silent but it didn't take long for us to arrive at 230 Fifth Rooftop down in Fifth Ave. Riding up the elevator we could hear the faint thrum of the bass and once the doors opened at the rooftop, we could see the livelihood of the event. Trevor rapidly took us to the bar, "Whisky, straight and…" he raised his brows at me.

"Crown Apple and ginger ale," I responded with a smirk.

Trevor nodded and turned to the barmaid who simply nodded and prepared our drinks, "So, you're drinking tonight," he mentioned softly.

I hugged his waist, leaning into him, "I have to, someone looks too good for rancid thoughts."

He chuckled softly, "I'm flattered," he husked lowly, "So, what? Is that some kind of liquid courage?"

"Here you go, sir. That'll be twenty-two," said the barmaid.

Trevor handed her his card, "Keep it open," he said as he grabbed the two short glass tumblers and handed me mine.

We began walking away towards the crowd, "No liquid courage, more like a distraction."

He hummed when someone behind us called our names. I tensed and closed my eyes, reaching for Trevor's arm, "What?" he asked, moving to step in front of me.

"Who just called our names?"

Trevor looked up and smiled, raising his whisky glass, "One of my clients, Grant Hughes and his date."

I nodded and shifted closer to Trevor, "Is she about five seven with long, jet black hair?"

Trevor nodded and glanced down at me, "Who is that, Noa?"

"That's my sister," I breathed out quickly before I heard her voice closer, "I know you heard me Noa Elisa, or what, you're too great to mingle with your sister?"

Trevor looked down at me and smiled, "Noa, meet Grant Hughes."

I smiled and turned, "It's a pleasure, Noa Diaz."

The man grabbed my hand and kissed my knuckles, "Now, may I ask how do you know my date tonight?"

"She's my sister," I said with a forced smile.

"Oh, and you work for Trevor?" he asked as I saw Sara eye me.

"I do," I cleared my throat, "Trevor, this is my sister, Sara. Sara, my boss."

Trevor extended his hand and shook Sara's, "So, how did you two meet?"

"Oh, we've been seeing each other casually for about a month now, right Grant?" my sister said, clinging to the man's arm.

Grant nodded, "So, Trevor, I hear Carlisle & James is looking for a lawyer to have on retainer," I had been leaning against Trevor's hip, sipping on my cocktail until I heard the mention of the prestigious PR firm.

I looked up at Trevor, "The PR firm?"

He smiled and nodded, "I was planning on introducing ourselves later on when they arrived."

I opened my mouth and grinned, patting on his chest softly, "You planned this!"

He nodded, leaning forward to hover his lips over mine, stopping a mere distance from them, asking for permission. I smiled and pressed our lips together, feeling the tingle that began coursing through my body. We came apart and locked eyes, smiling to each other, and I leaned forward to place my lips on his once more, "Come on, let's mingle."

We turned around and I noticed Sara's sour face. I smirked and we bid our goodbye to Grant. We were stopped several times by people wanting to talk to Trevor about the business or seeking legal advice. He had introduced me to several PR managers and had even left me to my own volition throughout the night so that I could walk around with the managers and greet other people in the industry. We shared glances from across the room and flirted with our eyes every chance we got.

I had accepted drinks from my new acquaintances and was talking to one of Trevor's colleagues and clients when I noticed him, leaning effortlessly against the railing of the rooftop, speaking to a robust man. Our eyes met momentarily and he smiled to me when he patted the man's shoulder and he pointed slightly towards me. I looked at the ground and smiled, raising my stare rapidly to find both men looking at me and grinning whilst they talked amongst each other. I excused myself from the group that I was standing with and went to the restroom to relieve myself. Coming out I stumbled upon my sister, "So, fucking the boss," she commenced with a sly smirk on her face.

I scoffed in disgust, sidestepping her and approaching the sink, "I'm not _fucking_ anyone, Sara. We're on a date."

"Does Mami know you have a hotshot lawyer for a boyfriend? I bet that'll make her happy," she slurred, stumbling on her feet.

I glared at her through the mirror and reached for a paper towel, "Go home, Sara," I said, turning to throw away the paper in my hands, "and, please, stay out of my private life."

I exited the restroom and found a well-lit area. I pulled my compact out of my clutch and dabbed the slight shine that had collected on my forehead, nose, and chin before reapplying my matte lipstick. I happened to tilt the compact and caught Trevor's frame a few feet behind me. I closed and put away the compact and turned around to face Trevor. We met halfway but before we could exchange words a smooth, cool voice blared through. I saw him face the voice so I turned, leaning against the railing, and looking out to the city, " _Trevor_ ," the voice said. _Ooh, she's English._

"What do you want, Miranda?" Trevor responded curtly. _Oh, why is he being so short with her?_

" _I just want to talk to you, that's all. Umm, Otter and I—_ "

"What the fuck is _he_ doing here?" Trevor grumbled lowly. _Yea, no, it's time to intervene_.

When I turned, there was a beautiful, pale, dirty blonde with hazel eyes in a midnight blue dress. The color of the dress made her skin seem even paler, even with the powerful sun of the summer, her milky complexion seemed untouched by the sun, "Hey," I said, running my hand down his arm.

He opened his arm to have me accommodate my body to his side as I looped my right arm through his back. He cleared his throat, "Uh, Noa," he tried, I looked up at him and smiled gingerly, "this is Miranda Sinclair, she's a political analyst."

The woman in front of me offer me a sheep smile, "A—Actually I go by Sinclair-Berkman now but it's nice to meet you, Noa."

"Noa Diaz, likewise," I offered, feeling the tightness that ran through Trevor's body. I rubbed my palm against his back and pressed my body closer to his, attempting to will the anxiety away.

Trevor breathed out when a man, in my height approximately, with dark features approached Miranda, "Babe, I just spoke with Dennis who said that Trev—"

"Honey," she interrupted quickly, side glancing us, "look whom I found."

The man chanced a glance over to Trevor and I and took several shuddering breaths when he finally decided to avert his eyes, "H—Hey man," he begun, "how you've been?"

"Fine," Trevor responded. _Who the fuck are these people?_

"Otter," Miranda piped up, "this is Noa Diaz, Trevor's uh," she looked at me, a hint of red gracing her pale features.

" _Date_ ," I said, narrowing my eyes at her.

Otter extended his hand, "Otter Berkman."

I nodded at the man and tightened my hold on Trevor. I happened to chance a glance up at my handsome date and noticed the clench of his jaw. I furrowed my brow and went to speak but was interrupted by Miranda's voice, "So, Noa, what do you do?"

I cleared my throat, "I was a PR manager for a firm in Spain but now, I'm this one's assistant."

I felt Trevor let up and he chuckled, "You say that like it's the worst thing you could be doing," he said.

I looked up to lock eyes with him, "Oh, it is. None of my clients sassed me as much as you have, _Trevor_."

"Me? Sass you?" he begun with a grin, "Where the hell have you been working at for the past four months?"

We laughed together, finally feeling easy, "That's why we never made partner," Otter added with a half smile, "He's always sassing somebody."

And, then, it was like something snapped within Trevor, "You son-of-a-bitch, is that why _you_ think we didn't make partner," he said, moving his arm from me and pushing me to stand behind him, "Are you sure it had nothing to do with you _sleeping_ with my then fiancé? You've got some balls on you, Otter."

"Trevor, relax man," Otter responded, "It was joke."

"Oh," Trevor scoffed, "a joke," he said mockingly, "No, it wasn't a joke, Otter," Trevor said, pushing Otter, causing him to stumble and fall backwards. _No, no, no!_

I rushed and stood in front of Trevor, placing my hand in the middle of his chest. His nostrils were flared, his brow was pulled in, and his eyes had gone dark. This wasn't the Trevor Langan I knew, "Hey, look at me," I pleaded, "Trevor, look at me," I pleaded again. He looked at me and searched my slightly frightened face and softened his, "Let's go, ok?" Trevor nodded, "Wait for me outside while I close the tab, I'll be down in a second."

"I don't want to leave, they can," he grumbled.

I closed my eyes and smirked, "You don't have an option, Trevor."

"Noa," he warned.

"Trevor," I said sternly, "I'm not asking you, we're leaving. Now."

"Fine," he grumbled as he passed me by.

I watched him storm off and I turned towards the bar, ignoring the stares.

* * *

 **A/N:** Little bit of a cliffhanger here. We kind of have an idea of who Otter is but who is she? Any ideas? Also, review, review! Thank you to you who always review, you make me a better person! ;)


	11. Make You Feel My Love

_**Make You Feel My Love**_

After having closed Trevor's tab, I found my way downstairs and saw him propped against his SUV. I approached him slowly, "Hey," I said with a smile.

"I'm sorry for that upstairs," he begun, staring at the ground, "I—I just snapped," he looked up at me with glossy eyes.

I closed the gap between us, "Take me home, we can talk there."

Trevor nodded and opened the door to the passenger side, allowing me to climb in. Once inside of the SUV, I saw Trevor hop in on the other side and offer me a sheep smile. He placed the vehicle on drive and watched for oncoming cars and we were moving fast after. I had so many questions. As soon as she—Miranda—had shown up, his whole demeanor had changed. He was short, distant, quiet, tense… what happened between them both?

Was it love unrequited? Was it a drunken night of passion that brought forth misplaced feelings? Was it a friendship thing? Did she use him to get something or further her political career? What? What was it? What did the woman do to the man to my left that had left him feeling so broken? Broken, yes, because that's what I saw when we made eye contact: shattered dreams and unresolved feelings. Oh, and let's not talk about Otter. Why did he feel the need to come running to his wife to 'forewarn' her about Trevor being at the event? He just made the tension between the two escalate and furthermore, was the cause of Trevor's outburst and masculinity display.

I get it; it's like the animal kingdom. Men showcase their masculinity by proving who's the alpha and tonight, it had been Trevor. Of course, the setting was not the adequate one and it wasn't the correct time for the behavior and display but he wasn't thinking right, he definitely wasn't in all his senses but I don't believe alcohol had fully impaired his complete judgment; I just think it served as fuel to the ever growing fire that was running through his body. Was I really going to ask this man to bare his feelings for me? Would he be truthful and respond to my inquiries? It was obvious _something_ had happened between the trio but was I ready to face and accept what Trevor was bound to say?

I felt his hand on my knee where he delivered a light squeeze. I looked up at him and saw something I'd never seen before, sadness, shame, _guilt_ … I smiled at him and he nodded towards the window. It was then that I noticed that the car was at a halt and Trevor's seatbelt was off, we had arrived to my home. We exited out of the car in silence and made our way up to my apartment. Once inside, Trevor made quick work of his jacket and tossed it atop my living room chair. I smiled at him and opened the door next to the entrance where I grabbed a hanger and motioned for the jacket. He smiled and handed me the discarded clothing garment and I hung it neatly, shutting the door, "Would you like something to drink?"

Trevor nodded, "Water, let's see if I can get rid of this raging headache."

I bit my lip and began approaching the kitchen, "Make yourself at home, I'll be back. You don't mind if I… _decompress_ , do you?"

He chuckled, "No, Noa," he said, cuffing his sleeves, "this is your home."

I nodded and disappeared through the hallway. In my room, I removed my shoes, jacket, and pants, opting to keep the bralette on since it really wasn't that risqué and I placed some shorts on. I grabbed my glasses from the clutch and went inside my attached bathroom where I removed my makeup and washed my face, taking out and cleaning my contacts for future wear and placing my glasses on. I grabbed the bottle of ibuprofen and shook two round pills on my palm, making my way down back to the kitchen where I poured two tall glasses of water and grabbed my bag of homemade garlic parmesan croutons. The living room had a nice overcast glow, provided by my mini glass glo-balls that sat one on my coffee table and the other on the left side table of the couch.

"Here," I said to Trevor who had shed his shoes and further opened his shirt, "ibuprofen for your growing headache."

He smiled and eyed my attire, "Is this how you sleep?"

I watched him down the pills and several gulps of water and smirked, "No," I offered simply, opening the zip tie bag of croutons, "I only sleep with my underwear," I said, just as he went to take another sip of water.

He choked and I laughed, "Serves you right for being nosy, mister," I joked.

"What are those? They smell delicious," he asked.

I offered the bag, "Try them, I made them myself."

His hand slipped inside the bag and he grabbed a few, popping them quickly in his mouth. I saw his jaw flex and move, "Oh," he said, covering his mouth, "these are really good. What'd you put on them?"

"Parmesan, chives, salt, olive oil, and a little bit of garlic. I don't like a super heavy garlic taste," I mused as I popped another crouton in my mouth.

He hummed, "I like, a lot."

I smiled and sat closer to him, ignoring the bag of croutons as I relished in the profile of the man besides me. He continued feeding from the bag as he balanced the cup of water on his knee. I propped my elbow on the backrest of the couch and reached to run my fingers through his dark chocolate tresses. I raked my nails on his scalp and watched as the man lulled his head, rolling his neck to meet my palm. His eyes were closed and as he rested his cheek on my palm, he lifted his head and placed a quick kiss on my hand, slowly opening his eyes. As soon as we made eye contact, a shiver ran down my spine, causing me to smile. _It's now or never_ , "Who were they?"

He smiled sadly, closing his eyes, "Noa," he began musing softly, "I don't think I can talk about that part of my life without lamenting."

"It's just us, Trev," I said softly, flexing my fingers through his hair, "I won't think any less of you if that's even a concern of yours."

He sighed breathily, a heavy silence lingering over us. He cleared his throat as I shifted closer to his body. I knew he wanted comfort but he was set on keeping his composure, on maintaining his resolve intact. My left leg was pulled against my chest, resting against the cushions on the back of my couch and I had brought my right leg upwards, hooking my knee on Trevor's right leg, having it drape against the open space his legs had created. He bit his lip and shook his head, placing his manly hand on the full flesh of my thigh.

It was the first time having skin on skin contact and I had to admit, the heat his hand provided was a welcomed one, "It was roughly three and a half years ago," he begun, "I met Miranda at the Halloween party that DA's office throws for its employees. Cops come, ADA's, defense attorneys, judges… she was there, dressed as Annie Oakley," he mused, a slight smile on his face, "she looked adorable. I approached her and she was tipsy, you know," he said looking up at me as he caressed the smooth skin of my thigh, "When she spoke, I knew that she needed to be my wife. I've always loved a good accent. We dated for about seven or eight months before I proposed to her."

"You loved her," meaning it more as a question rather than a statement.

"With every fiber of my being," he answered truthfully.

"She cheated," I mentioned, recalling our date, "What happened?"

Trevor took a shuddering breath and chuckled dryly, "Hey," I said, flexing my fingers once more through his hair, "it's just me, ok?" I offered a smile.

He nodded and took a deep breath in, rubbing circles on my skin, "She cheated," he said, looking at me, "with Otter, who had been my best friend for a little over two decades."

My mouth gaped and my right hand flew up to rest on top of his that had been dancing over my flesh. I gripped it tightly and he grinned sardonically, nodding, "Trev," I said breathily, hoping my feelings could be conveyed through with the least amount of words possible.

"I felt like I had failed, as a man. We, as men, never think of women of the cheating counterpart so when you do cheat, it's like, what _didn't_ I do as a man to keep you pleased? What did _I_ do to cause this?" he was rambling but it was correctly placed and I just listened, "You know, women get cheated at left and right—not that I would cheat on my woman—but, it's true, they do and when they do, they still know that they're desirable, they still know their worth but men, Noa," he paused for effect, shaking his head, "She _stripped_ me of my appeal. And, yes, that sounds wrong but that's what I felt. For a year and a half, all I did was worry that when future partners found out that I had been cheated on, they would either pity me or judge me. In other words, I thought they would think that she had cheated on me because there was something wrong with _me_."

His blue gaze seemed cloudy with tears but he was not letting them fall and I didn't believe he would, at least not at this point. It was too early in the conversation for him to crumble, "There's nothing wrong with you, Trevor," I conceded with a smile, "Nothing, you hear me?"

He nodded, "I know that now and it took a lot of destroying other women and therapy for me to understand that in fact, there wasn't anything wrong with me. That this was all on her and that me going out there, wooing women, bedding them, and subsequently throwing them out like a piece of trash wasn't going to help or bring her back," he looked at me, "I wore protection and I tested myself monthly. I was reckless but conscientious," we chuckled, glad for the sudden breath of fresh air of such heavy topic, "No one knew we had broken up or called off the wedding until I sent the mass email a week before the wedding."

"Why? Why wait so long?" I asked, releasing his hand to allow for him to continue his movements over my thigh.

"I was embarrassed," he said, looking at me, "What was that supposed to say about me to my friends and family? That is a reflection of who I am as a provider, how I am in bed, and much more. I didn't want anyone knowing that I had failed as a man; I couldn't fathom the thought that maybe I wasn't _at all_ guilty in this. Then came the feelings of feeling violated. She had him on _our_ bed, in _our_ home… she had," he furrowed his brow in struggle to find a fitting word, " _replaced_ my presence with his and _that_ , that hurt way worse than anything else. I was feeling everything and nothing at the same time, I was blinded by emotions. A torrent of anger, depression, and self-blame… and with my best friend?"

He narrowed his eyes to the dimly lit space of my living room, staring off into nothing, "What happened with Otter?"

He scoffed, "When Andy and I were engaged, Otter and I were working on possibly, maybe becoming partners. We both had the experience by then, we had clients that were impressed and had expressed interest in us both collectively and individually. We had been speaking with Henshall, actually to bring him on as well. He had a little bit more experience than us but it had been in the works prior to me being engaged. You know," he chuckled dryly, patting my thigh, "son-of-a-bitch never confronted me, never called, never answered one of my calls, nothing. Tonight was the first time I've seen him since all this mess happened."

"' _What cringelings most men are, and how admirable is true courage_ ,'" I mentioned with a smile, gaining a confused look from Trevor, "Samuel Findley, 'The Teacher and His Work', it was a favorite of my father's. You should read it, I believe you'll enjoy it," I said with a smile, "Did she ever tell you what happened?"

Trevor shook his head, "I had tire of calling her one day where we were supposed to meet up with the venue to go over the dinner menu and she never showed up so I thought, she was just busy with political stuff and I rescheduled everything. We had been living together already for a couple of months now and something told me to rush home so I did. When I arrived, she was packing everything. She had two big suitcases packed and was packing a third one. When I confronted her, she explained everything: that she had cheated with Otter, that it had been going on for several months, and that she couldn't do it. She said she and Otter were moving to England and were going to get married later on in the year."

"And," I said, taking a deep breath and sighing, "you just let her go? You didn't fight for her?"

He shook his head, awarding me eye contact, "Noa, you don't understand. What I saw in her eyes was a woman that felt trapped and that whatever she was doing was her out," he opened his mouth but his words faltered, "I—I put that sentiment in her. I _caged_ her and she was begging to be set free," and that's when it happened, a tear escaped his eyes and it was something that I _thought_ I was prepared to see but nothing in this world can prepare you, as a _grown ass woman_ to watch how vulnerability slowly consumes and engulfs a man to such point that causes him to break.

"Trev," I husked, bringing my right hand to his neck and pulling him against my body. He quickly wrapped his arms around my waist tightly as he buried his face in my neck, my hands quickly roaming down his back, soothing, and providing comfort as his body gently wracked with silent sobs. The position felt familiar and it was, not too long ago he had wrapped me in his arms and had been providing me comfort, "You are more than enough, Trevor. This isn't and wasn't about you. It isn't a reflection of your character, your attractiveness, or personality. It may not even be her either. We won't know until _she_ tells you why she did it. She may have her reasons but that doesn't mean that you were to blame," I comforted softly, feeling the man's vice-like grip tighten around my body. I pressed my lips to his forehead, letting them linger there for as long as he needed.

He sniffled and eased on his grip around my waist, coming to a sitting stance next to me. We remained close, our breaths intertwined with the other's as we stared deep within the windows of our soul, "It scares me sometimes," he said, his voice hoarse with tears, "to love again, to be vulnerable again. To open my heart just to have someone rip it to shreds when they feel like they could be trapped again…"

I ran my thumb underneath his eye to rid of any collected tears there, "I'm here, for as long as you let me, for as long you want me; I'm here," I smiled, "You're stuck with me now," he chuckled sweetly, "That was your first mistake, being interested in a passionate Latina woman and your second one, asking me out but those are about the only mistakes you've made and will ever make," I finished, whispering softly against his lips.

I pushed my lips to his, slowly at first, allowing him to set the pace. He found his way to my neck by dragging his hands up my body until he framed my head, holding me in place as he delved further into the kiss. We poured it all in that kiss, I felt it, and I hoped he felt it too. He needed to understand that whatever had happened in the past, whatever mistakes he had made, whoever he had bedded prior to tonight didn't matter to me, and it never would because this Trevor Langan, the one that sat on my couch with a tear-stained face wasn't the person he had been three years ago.

This was a newfound man, with a newfound purpose and mission in life. When he had asked me out, he had asked to _court_ me. Courting and dating aren't the same. Dating by definition, is when two people meet for companionship but courting is done with the desire to see if _marriage_ is the correct choice for the couple. Antiquated, yes but effective nonetheless. Trevor was here, in my home, looking to find in me a long-time partner and by the grace of God, I was willing to be so if so he wanted.

The kiss was slow with a lingering burn that seared to the touch. Our tongues had melded and probed the other's mouth and neither of us wanted to break the lock that we so desperately had teased the other to get. We weren't eager. We weren't pushy. We just enjoyed the pressure and the savory taste of the other's mouth. I pulled back slightly, gasping for air and felt the nip of Trevor's teeth on my bottom lip. I smiled and dove right back in that slow-rising fire that we had created in the comfort of our touch. Trevor's kiss was power. Trevor's kiss was lethal and as my hands found the back of his neck, he deepened the kiss with a fervent urgency that I'd never felt before. I nipped his top lip and heard his groan; a deep, feral, throaty groan and I pulled back, resting our foreheads together as we both caught the other's smile.

"I should get going," he mumbled softly.

I dragged my hands downwards to have them rest on either side of Trevor's neck as I looked away to the wall where my clock sat, "It's past eleven at night. You've had quite to drink and it's been an emotional roller coaster ride, stay."

"Noa," he warned with a smile.

"Relax," I said as I stood, extending my hand to him, "we're both adults. I'm sure we can sleep in the same bed without it being it awkward."

He chuckled and grabbed my hand, coming to a stand as I turned to guide us to my room. I ducked in the bathroom and removed my bralette and placed a tank on instead. By the time I came out, Trevor had discarded his pants, socks, and shirt and had them neatly placed against the corner chair of my room. He pointed at the bed and I nodded as we both entered separate sides. Trevor lain and sighed, opening his arm for my comfort. I snuggled close to the man in my bed, placing my hand atop his chest and playing with the wisps of hair across it. He looked down at me and smiled, leaning to capture my lips once then twice before resting his head back on my pillow. He tightened his hold along my back and hummed contently.

 _I'll never do you wrong, Trev. You haven't seen nothing like me, yet. There's nothing I wouldn't do to make you happy again._

And, sudden realization hit me. I had fallen in love with Trevor Langan, my boss.

* * *

 **A/N:** Oh Noa... This was an emotional chapter to write but I enjoy the outcome. Let me know if you feel the same! And, yes, I'll explore Otter and Miranda's characters some more in further chapters.


	12. Fourth of July

_**Fourth of July**_

"Whoa," I said breathily as I exited the Lyft car that had dropped me off in the Upper East Side in front of Henshall's beautiful townhome. I could hear the laughter and certain camaraderie that came from somewhere in the home and smiled. I opened the gate and climbed the steps, pressing on the doorbell.

In a matter of seconds, the door opened, "Hi," greeted me enthusiastically a green-eyed brunette.

"Hello, I'm Noa, I work with Robert and Trevor," I said, shifting on my feet.

"Oh, yes, yes," she said, grabbing my elbow and ushering me in, "It's a pleasure, Noa. I'm Alexis, Rob's wife."

"Oh, Mrs. Henshall, it's a pleasure."

"Alexis, Mrs. Henshall is my mother-in-law," she leaned into my ear, "and between you and I, we're not very fond of each other," she chuckled.

I giggled and nodded, taking in my surroundings. The door opened into a parlor where two red velvet chairs sat invitingly and past the archway was what I believe to be the formal living room, "Wow, this place is beautiful."

"Thank you," she said, tucking her long curly locks behind her ear, "I'm glad my degree paid off," she quipped, "I'm an interior designer."

I nodded, "Well, you've done amazing!"

She waved me off, "Come, we're all downstairs."

I nodded and fidgeted with the cuffed sleeves of my blue button-down striped shirt-dress with waist tie that sat a couple of inches above my knees. We jogged down the stairs where it opened to the kitchen and the den with bay windows that opened to the backyard. There I found Tristan and Jacob, Jeanine and her husband, as well as an unidentified male, and three children, that belonged to Alexis and Robert, "Look who I found," Alexis joked as she turned to wink at me.

The group looked up and waved me hello, "Noa, can you call your boss and ask him to hurry up with the damn meats?" Henshall spoke from the patio.

"Why do you always chuck him to me, Henshall?" I smiled as he hugged me.

"You know how to handle him," he whispered softly as he released me, causing me to blush and look at my light blue keds.

Henshall saw my coy demeanor and chuckled, "Milo, come here."

I turned on my waist and saw as a tall figure approached us. He looked like Henshall but with different features, maybe a cousin? "Milo, meet Noa Diaz. She's Trevor's assistant," I extended my arm and smiled, "Noa, this is my brother, Milo Kent."

I furrowed my brow, "Kent?"

"Our mother remarried after my father passed away," Milo answered as he held my hand.

I grew uncomfortable at his hold and withdrew my hand and unconsciously, wiped it on the skirt of my dress, "Let me call Trevor, I'll be back."

I crossed the threshold between the bay doors and the den, walking straight towards the stairs, "Tristan, come with me for a second," I mumbled rapidly as I passed him by on my way to the staircase.

Once upstairs, we walked to the formal living room, "What the hell was that, Noa?"

I turned around with my hand on my forehead, "What? With Kent?" he nodded and crossed his arms, "I don't know but I feel like I need to wash my entire arm for at least an hour."

Tristan scoffed, "You looked really uncomfortable."

"You could tell?" I said, fearful of my expression.

Tristan nodded, "Just, relax," he mentioned as he approached me, "maybe it was nothing."

I sighed and looked at the man across from me, closing the gap between us both and hugging him, "You're right, maybe it was nothing."

Tristan tightened his hold on me and ushered me to call Trevor. As I did, Tristan kept me company. Trevor was about to pull up and walk in by the time we hung up. Tristan and I returned downstairs to where the party was taking place and I sat in between Jeanine and Tristan as Alexis handed me a drink. She introduced their children to me, whom were very polite and chatty even at their young age. We all saw Trevor walk in and my heart somersaulted in its cavity at the sight of the handsome man.

I smiled at him and saw him return it and wink. He went around the room greeting everybody and he had the most adorable interaction with the children who looked like they were very much acquainted with the their father's counterpart. Milo and Trevor looked very well acquainted and they spoke softly to each other. The room fell into a light banter and chatters that seemed to ease my behavior as we waited for Henshall and Trevor to finish on the grill.

We spoke about work, dabbled into politics, the weather, Trevor's upcoming birthday, and pretty much every topic you can think of but I wasn't participating much in any topic of the conversation. You know that feeling you get when someone has their eyes on you for no particular reason? When you feel like a hole is being burnt straight through you chest? That's the continuous feeling that kept running through my body. And, it would've been fine if it would've been coming from a welcomed stare, such as Trevor's but it came from him: Milo Kent. Every time I turned my head, every time I opened my eyes, he was staring at me. I hated it. I kept fidgeting, I kept sinking on the couch, and I kept closing off. I happened to look to the kitchen where Trevor had been standing with Alexis, helping her cut the meats and place everything in the aluminum trays when he turned his eyes to me. His smile faded when he saw the distraught look that my face sported.

"Babe," called Alexis, "can you go downstairs and bring the stuff up?"

"Yea," Henshall replied.

Henshall dried his hands and was about to go downstairs when Trevor stopped him, "Actually, I'll go," Trevor interrupted, "Noa, c—can you come with me?"

I nodded and stood and felt that fucking cold stare on my body. Trevor guided me down the stairs to the basement of the home. The open space at the end of the staircase held a pool table and several stools and tables, almost like a bar setting. I looked around and smiled, Henshall really did know how to enjoy his time with his family and his friends. As I'm walking towards what I identified as closets, I felt a warm hand snake into mines and pull me towards their chest. The act alone nearly crushed my lungs but it was exactly what I needed for my resolve to crumble, "Trev," I whispered into his chest as I felt his arms travel down my arms and to my back.

"What's going on, huh?" he begun, "You've been awfully quiet."

I shook my head and ran my hands to his shoulder blades, "It's nothing."

I felt the rumble of his chest as he chuckled, "If you don't want to tell me that's fine, but don't lie to me."

I closed my eyes and smiled, pushing my body away so that I could hold him at arm's length, "It's Milo."

Trevor tensed and gritted his jaw, "Did he say something to you? D—Did he _do_ something to you, Noa?"

I furrowed my brow and danced my eyes across his. Trevor was upset and dare I say _scared_ of the possibility that Milo had done something to me. What was his deal? Trevor knew something and I wanted in on said secret, "N—No, none of that but he hasn't stop staring and it's making uncomfortable."

Trevor sighed, "Ok, I'll see what I can do to keep you away," I nodded and smiled, "Now, let's find these plates before they send a search party."

I giggled and went to break the embrace but not before he held me tight and brought his lips forth to claim mine. My body melted into the kiss as our tongues massaged each other, swirling around the other unabashedly. My hands traveled to the back of Trevor's neck where my fingers disappeared into his dark chocolate mane. Our teeth clicked and we paused, our lips just barely touching as we breathed in each other's air.

My head swam in dizziness and just as my arousal rose so did my boldness and I nudged my nose against his, just as he dove back in, sucking my bottom lip into his mouth. His left hand cupped my cheek and his right hand was at my waist, his fingers digging mercilessly on my skin. I moaned into the kiss as I explored the velvety feel of his mouth, feeling the bruising burn this kiss was having on us both. We pulled apart, my teeth digging in on smooth, swollen flesh.

Trevor cleared his throat and brushed his hands through his hair as I ran my hands down his neck and stopped at his chest. He smiled and he pointed towards the closet as I giggled at his sudden reserved demeanor. We finally collected the plates, cups, and cutlery and returned to the upstairs, 'complaining' that we couldn't find them; Henshall just smirked and followed Trevor's lead, those two, were thick as thieves! I'll have to admit though, after my small conversation with Trevor downstairs, I was more at ease than I had been when I arrived initially. Tristan noted how swollen my lips looked and teased me non-stop. It was a welcomed teasing and one that caused distraction from Milo's continual assaulting gaze.

After we had eaten, I had commented on the pool table downstairs and that seemed to spark curiosity and interest amongst the men, all of them. We all made our way downstairs and they had immediately divided themselves into teams of three as the ladies and I sat in one of the bar stools set that surrounded the open area. The men were rowdy and had brought money into the mix. As much as I wanted to root for 'Team Underdog' which was comprised of Tristan, Jacob, and Luke—Jeanine's husband. I was having too much fun watching 'Team Law' comprised of Robert, Milo, and Trevor beat the Underdogs.

"Don't make that shot," I said between giggles to Trevor.

"Or what?" he replied, causing chuckles from everybody else.

"You're going to miss and Jacob will have a turn at the eight," I replied matter-of-factually.

He raised an eyebrow and grinned, "All right then, Ms. Know-it-all," the men laughed, "if you think you could do better…" he trailed off, offering me the cue.

I took a swig of my beer and placed it atop the bar table, sliding off the stool as I walked towards Trevor, grabbing the cue, "I'm going to win this game for you," I shot at Henshall.

He guffawed, "If you win this game for us, I'll give you _and_ Tristan the day off on Monday."

"Noa, you better win this game, girl!" Tristan piped quickly.

I snickered and gripped the cue's wrap with my right hand, sliding my left hand against the shaft to position a 'v' bridge for me to take the shot. The Underdogs were solids and at the moment they had three left, whilst the Law team were stripes and had only two left. I took a deep breath and delivered a nice precision follow and draw, earning a surprised look from the partners. The shot I took would've been hard for Trevor to accomplish as the striped ball was in between two solids one and without careful precision, the wrong ball could've been pocketed. I dropped the cue and circled the table and delivered a quick stop shot that aligned the cue ball perfectly with the eight ball. Now this shot was going to be tricky because there were no other balls surrounding the area and if I delivered too much power, I could pocket the cue ball and lose the game and my chances of having an extra free day.

I circled the table once more and much to my dismay, I landed in front of Milo. Now, I was already feeling uncomfortable with his lingering stare and scrutiny to my body but I was wearing a dress and I had to bend in front of him. Common decency and a gentleman would've moved to allow for me to be comfortable but no, he stayed and stepped closer, seemingly ghosting his groin to my bottom. I glanced at Trevor and felt the blood boil through my veins.

I loosened the grip purposefully on the cue and when I delivered the stroke I struck Milo in the groin with the butt cap. He folded over, cupping his manhood, "Never stand behind a horse," I said with a smirk.

Trevor snickered and turned, hiding his amusement. I bit my lip, attempting to assuage my oncoming smile and I used this opportunity to use a trick my father had taught both my sister and I when teaching us how to play pool; the thirty-degree peace sign for a natural angle of the cue ball trajectory. I took a deep breath and took my stance, delivering a smooth stroke as I watched the eight ball enter the middle pocket and the cue ball follow its trajectory without any ill throughout its path, "Tristan, want to go shopping on Monday?" I smugly offered.

Tristan folded over in laughter as Jeanine and Alexis mocked their husbands, "Defeated by your subordinate, Rob. How does that feel?" Alexis mentioned as she side-hugged her husband.

"Like I'm going to be pulling my hair come Monday," he answered with a smirk, "Milo, you ok?"

Milo nodded from the stool he'd taken on the corner, "Where'd you learn how to play?" Trevor asked.

"My father was an avid pool player. He taught both my sister and I how to play," I mentioned with a smile, "I hustled a couple of men for drinks and money at bars thanks to my dad."

"I bet," Henshall quipped, "Is there something you cannot do, Noa?"

"If I tell you, it won't be a surprise anymore."

We heard a rumble coming from the stairs, "Mommy, is it time for fireworks yet?"

"Uh," Alexis responded, looking at her wristwatch, "almost. How about we all go outside and wait for them to start?"

As the adults began to file out of the basement and head towards the patio, Trevor and I lingered back, "You did that on purpose, didn't you?" he asked.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Langan," I responded with a smirk.

He snickered, "Oh, you don't know?" he said as he raised his brows, circling my body. I saw as he disappeared behind me. I could still feel his presence over my shoulder and I waited to see what his next move would be, "I believe he did something like this," Trevor stood closer to me as he ghosted his groin on my bottom.

I hitched a breath and looked over my shoulder, noticing the rogue smirk on his face. I bit my lip and arched my back, "Yea, I believe so," I husked, pushing my ass into him.

His mouth gaped in silence, his arms circling around my waist, "Why do you tease me?" he whispered against my ear, nibbling it as he finished.

I gasped and smirked, pushing my cheek against his, "I could say the same about you," I finished, raising my hand to his neck, my nails raking through his scalp.

Trevor growled near my ear before biting my jaw, causing me to moan. His arms tightened around my waist, my free hand caressing his arm around my waist, "I want to make you feel good, Noa," he lowly said, placing a hot open-mouthed kiss against my neck.

I arched my back into him, gripping the hairs at the back of his neck, "I'd say you're doing a _terrible_ job at it," my voice an octave lower than normal.

He husked his chuckle, "Is that a challenge, Noa?"

"I'd say a _friendly wager_ ," I giggled, turning my face to nibble at his chin.

He captured my lips in a searing kiss, sucking the air out of my lungs. I gave into the kiss and shifted in his arms, feeling his erection against my body. I moaned, tugging at his bottom lip, "Trevor," I mewled.

His voice was enticingly low, "Noa," he responded, smirking.

"Take me home," I deadpanned.

His eyes crossed my face, looking for hesitation, trying to find a hint of something, anything that would lead him to believe that I was just doing this in the spur of the moment. But, I wasn't. I wanted Trevor and I wanted him with every fiber of my being. Granted, the whole point of courting was to avoid the pressures that physicality and sexual intimacy brought upon the relationship but of course, our desire was too grand.

I could feel Trevor's desire against my hip, teasingly rubbing and making it incredibly hard for me to ignore its presence against my skin. My breathing was ragged and every drop of moisture had collected between my legs. There was no way we could deny each other much longer. There had been too much teasing and today, just now, we had crossed that thin line and I don't know about him, but I did not want to go back. I had already woken up next to Trevor's body and ever since I wanted nothing more than to be back in that position.

Trevor nodded and smirked, "You have nowhere to be tomorrow, do you?"

"And, even if I did, I know I won't be leaving my bed tomorrow," I answered close to his mouth.

" _Your_ bed?" he said, pushing his head back, "I'm taking you to my home, Noa. I don't think I can handle being in a car with you for too long."

I giggled, "Then, why are we still here?"

* * *

 **A/N:** So, that happened. Lol, let me know what you think of this chapter and brace yourselves, next chapter is going to be steamy. Thank you for the reviews so far! I love you all.


	13. Dizzy

**WARNING:** Mature content ahead. Sexual language and acts at play, proceed with caution and at your own risk.

* * *

 _ **Dizzy**_

"You live in the Ukrainian Village," I quipped softly as he pushed the button for the elevator.

"I live in Greenwich, excuse you," he retorted, shooting me a wink as we stepped inside the elevator.

We didn't have to go far, only to the third floor from the underground garage but the tension was felt. I was suffocating in it. Thank God for speedy elevators though because it wouldn't have taken much for us to do something we would later regret. The doors to the metal contraption opened in a carpeted hallway. Trevor exited first and I followed behind him. Like a nervous teen, he kept glancing backwards, making sure that I was indeed behind him. Hell, I was nervous too. I don't know how long it had been for Trevor, but for me, I was going on three years.

Yes, after the incident with the lying cheat, I abstained from any male contact and to be honest, it'd been fun. I explored my own sexuality to a different extent and found out what really makes break, what pushes me to the void and has me free-fall in ecstasy. We arrived at Trevor's door and he inserted his fob, listening to the whirring of the locks, he pushed it open and allowed me inside.

The first thing you'd notice is that right after the entrance was the kitchen to your left and from the door you could see the open space of the living/dining room. Everything was earth-toned and very masculine. I walked in awe towards the L-shaped couch and noticed to my right two sets of stairs, Trevor lived in a triplex, "Trev," I said, looking up at the high ceilings.

"Three bedrooms," he begun, "there are two downstairs with two bathrooms, office, laundry, and patio. There's a powder room here," he opened the door to the powder room right in front of the kitchen's archway, "and the master is upstairs," he finished, pointing to the ceiling.

I smiled and ran my fingers through my hair, "It's beautiful."

He nodded and smiled, "Water?" he said, pointing towards the kitchen, "Oh, and please make your self at home."

I nodded and turned, going to sit on the couch to remove my shoes. As I did, I wiggled my pedicured toes and smiled, stretching my legs. I removed my canteen purse and placed it atop his coffee table, leaning back, and lifting my legs up to the couch. I took in my surroundings, there was a brick wall that housed a window in place, right in front of me was the TV hanging from the wall, and directly behind me were the stairs that led to Trevor's suite. I leaned my cheek on my knee and watched as Trevor approached the couch, sitting directly next to me, "Thank you," I said, taking a sip.

He nodded and did the same, "Noa," he said shakily. I placed my foot on the ground and turned to kneel on his couch, facing him, "I—I don't want to hurt you."

"Physically or emotionally?" I asked, furrowing my brow.

He shook his head, "Emotionally. Physically. Both. I—I don't know."

He ran his fingers through his hair and I realized that this was real for him too. He was scared. And, seeing him with his quarrels and altogether so flustered was, for lack of a better word, adorable, "Talk to me," I said softly, smiling.

He took a big gulp of his water and pressed the glass firmly to his coffee table, "I know I said I wanted to court you but," he stopped, grinning maniacally almost, "I can't deny you any longer," he said, his voice low in his throat.

I smirked, "Then don't. I don't want to deny you either."

He chuckled, "You _do_ understand what this implies, Noa, don't you?"

I bit my lip, "What _does_ it imply, Trevor?"

"We would no longer be in a 'dating' phase," he said, using air quotes, "You'd be my girlfriend," he finished, darting his eyes from a random point on the floor to my face.

I smiled and scooted closer, "Is that something you want?"

He nodded and smiled bashfully, "Is it something you want?"

I scoffed playfully and nodded, "I do," I said, lacing my fingers with his, "I do have a question though…"

"Anything," he uttered quickly, turning to face me.

"When was the last time you were tested?" I asked, feeling my cheeks burn red.

He chuckled, "About a year ago, you?"

"Six months ago and no, I haven't been with anyone since," I mentioned, noticing his brain at work.

He smiled softly and nodded, "I'll set up an appointment. We can go together," he conceded.

I nodded and watched as Trevor stood, extending his arm for me to take. I took his hand and allowed for him to pull me towards his frame. He smiled and leaned to place his lips against mine in a quick peck. As he was about to deepen the kiss I pulled back, flicking my tongue against his bottom lip, smiling and biting my own as I turned to approach the stairs that led to his suite.

The stairs curved twice and on the first landing, I suddenly felt myself pushed up against the wall with Trevor's body pinning me in place. His left arm had circled my waist and his right hand crept near the hemline of my dress. I could feel his hot breath against the shell of my ear and his member on my ass cheek. I moaned upon contact and attempted to arch my back into him but the pressure and feel of his body against mine was not allowing for movement on my part. I was completely at his mercy.

He trailed his right hand up my dress, feeling smooth, supple skin in his way until I felt his nimble digits on the cotton fabric of my underwear. Applying pressure to my middle with his fingers, he nipped at my neck; speaking into my skin seductively, he continued, rubbing tiny circles into my underwear, "Do you think of me and touch yourself here?" he spoke lowly, running his tongue against my pulse point, closing his mouth to deliver an open-mouthed kiss, "How many orgasms am I—in my absence—responsible for?"

I whimpered pathetically as I tried to buck my hips into his slow manipulation, "Wouldn't you like to know…" I said breathily, smirking and turning my face to have my cheek against the cool surface of the wall.

His hand stopped and moved to my breast, squeezing gently. The feel of his teeth against my skin and the slow burn that came after he delivered his nip nearly undid me. He spoke against my skin again and insisted, "Tell me what you want woman."

"You," I husked, and the quickness of his moves had me swimming in arousal and confusion.

He pushed away from my body and quickly pulled me up the next flight of stairs that provided another landing that led to the last flight and finally the threshold for his room. His bed was huge, no doubt custom made for Trevor's large figure. And, at that moment, everything slowed. He wanted everything to be memorable, for the both of us. He guided me towards the bed where he stepped out of his shoes and was beginning to make work of his golf shorts when my hands found his, "Let me," I said softly, stepping closer and unbuttoning his shorts.

He sighed and smiled; dropping his arms to his sides, allowing for me to push his shorts down until they freely fell. He was wearing charcoal boxer briefs with a thick black band and I trailed the band promiscuously, teasing the skin above it with my fingers until I bunched the fabric of his polo shirt and pulled it upwards, having him bend slightly to relieve his body of the garment in the way. I leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his chest, smiling against his flesh. I felt his hands resting on my waist, moving slowly towards the knot I'd created with the ties.

I looked up at him through my lashes, giving him the approval he was seeking before it came loose and he was making quick work of the array of buttons that held together my shirt-dress. He allowed for my dress to fall off my shoulders and he reveled at the sight of my body. His fingers ran respectfully over the swell of my breasts, down my sternum, over my belly button, and danced at the waistline of my underwear. I watched him as he took in my body, memorizing every freckle that my stomach had, running his fingers over the cotton fabric on my hips, and enjoying the feel of my skin underneath his touch. I couldn't hold on any longer, as I needed to feel more of him on me. I raised my body on my toes and crashed my lips against his, hearing our teeth click suddenly, and feeling our breaths catch upon contact.

He turned us and fell on top of me against the bed, my arms circling around his neck as his found their way to my bra clasp where he undid it expertly, not once wavering or stopping the delicious rhythm our mouths had formed. We came apart as I felt Trevor's hands guide my bra straps down my arms, revealing my ample chest, and its metal decoration, "Naughty girl, are we?" he asked, running his thumb over my right nipple, my body arching unconsciously to meet his touch.

I nodded and bit my lip and saw Trevor's eyes darken as he quickly dove to capture my nipple in his mouth. I grunted at the feel of his irascible mouth, feeling his tongue lap my pert bud. My left hand moved to his neck, cupping it and holding him in place as I raked my right hand nails up his back. Hearing him groan; he bit my nipple, causing me to throw my head back against the mattress, thrusting my pelvis upwards, meeting my core with his where his raging member did nothing but exacerbate the fire that my folds housed, "Trevor," I moaned, feeling his lips travel down my body.

He was leaving warm, open kisses down my torso, combined with nips and licks until he reached the waistband of my underwear. He looked up at me through his lashes and I smiled, urging him to continue. I opened my legs to allow him to sit between me and quickly felt his fingers on my hips, pulling the fabric down my legs. I planted my feet on the bed, looking down my nose to Trevor's face.

Trevor had a small smile on his face and his pupils had dilated and not retired from my antipodes. He discarded the fabric to the floor and placed his hands around my ankles, pulling them towards him. He breathed slowly, running his hands up my legs and thighs, circling them down my inguinal crease. I hitched a breath as his fingers ghosted past my lips, "So beautifully wet," he mused, repeating his movements until I mewled. He chuckled and leaned forward, placing a kiss to my neatly trimmed triangular patch of curls, moving quickly to capture my mouth within his.

He pushed his groin to my sensitive core producing a moan that caused the break of our lip lock. I pushed my pelvis up against his, urging him to flip. I climbed his lap, rocking my hips against his erection, taunting the both of us in the process. My lips landed on his neck, tracing his pulse point with my tongue, sucking on his flesh, and listening to the low rumble his throat provided.

His hands were trailing up my thighs, circling on my ass cheeks and delivering gentle squeezes. I trailed my kisses from his neck down to his chest, nibbling and licking on wisps of hair as I found my way to that forsaken happy trail. I turned my face and pressed my cheek to the fabric of his boxer briefs, feeling his raging erection against my neck. Trevor's eyes were playful and mischievous and they lulled as soon as I brought my mouth to encase the girth of his member through the dri-fit fabric of his boxer briefs, "Jesus, Noa," he grumbled, lifting his head from the bed and throwing it back harshly.

He brought his hands to run through his hair as I licked his length through the fabric, hearing him hiss, and watching him gape his mouth in silence, "My. God," he said through clenched teeth.

I hummed and pushed his thighs apart, resting my chest on the bed between his legs. I ran my tongue flat against his testes and felt him tense. I smiled and closed my lips around them, sucking gently, "You fucking tease," Trevor grumbled as he shot up from the bed, resting his upper body on his elbows.

I repeated my manipulation and heard him grunt and felt his thigh shake slightly. I smiled and released his glands, bringing my hands to his waistband and pulling downwards to release Trevor's manhood once and for all. As I discarded the piece of fabric to the side, his member sprung to life. Trevor's member was a beautiful piece of art. The length was right, the girth was amazing, and his happy trail continued down to his pelvic region where the strip landed. I stared and felt a wave of moisture collect between my legs and I bit my lip, taunted by the flesh in front of me that I so wanted inside of me.

I stretched my body to meet the length of Trevor's, crawling forward to trap his member between our bodies. I rested my chin on the middle of his chest, folding my arms underneath it, enjoying the feel of our naked bodies together. Trevor's left hand rested on my hip, occasionally traveling down to my cheek and squeezing whilst his right hand trailed my spine, "Condom?" I asked, smiling up at him.

He nodded and smiled, biting his lip. He raised his body on his elbows, allowing me to take my time to sit on his thighs as he moved and rummaged through his bedside table for a condom packet, _Magnums, of course_. He handed me the packet and I made quick work of it and with ease, I slipped it on, raising my body on my knees to rub my core against his member. I threw my head back in a swallowed moan as I slowly stirred the ever-growing fire between my legs. I heard Trevor groan, no doubt engulfed in his pleasure just as much as I was. I guided him to my entrance and slowly slipped him in, "Oh, fuck," I moaned, lulling my head forward.

"Take your time," he husked, his voice dripping with sex.

I moaned and lowered myself on him, feeling the stretch and burn just as my body wrapped around his shaft. Trevor's hands were at my hips, steadying my swaying body as inch-by-inch disappeared inside of me until I was sitting comfortably on his pelvis. I ran my hands over my stomach and up to my breasts where I grabbed and pinched my nipples, "Trevor," I said breathily, feeling my insides pulsate.

He chuckled throatily and went to adjust his body and the mere movement provided too much friction, "Ahh, Trevor," I husked, releasing my breasts and running my fingers through my hair, bunching it at the crown, "D—Don't move, I'll come if you do," I said with a throaty giggle, running my tongue over my lips, willing moisture back to my mouth.

His hands moved down and up my thighs, his thumbs caressing my inguinal crease as he did so, "I can feel you," he husked lowly, flexing his muscles and somehow causing his cock to flex inside my wet heat.

"Oh, Trevor," I elongated my moan, "Please, don't," I whimpered pathetically.

He delivered a minute thrust and my stomach clenched as my orgasm ruptured through my body. I gasped at the harshness of the feeling, falling forward, and raking my nails across his torso, "Fucking-a," he grumbled, his chest rising high and falling low, "My goodness, Noa."

I giggled, the kind of giggle you elicit when you're in a drunken stupor or in my case, filled with arousal and a massive cock between my folds, "I—I told you," I breathed out.

"Jesus," he said, his hand tracing my spine lovingly, "Let me see you come again," he mumbled against my hair.

I moaned and raised my body, my eyes lulling, and staring longingly at Trevor's blue ones that were now pitch black with desire. I steadied myself and placed my hands at either side of his belly button, thrusting forward and rubbing my nerve-ending button against his strip of trimmed curls, creating an enticing friction that I was sure going to revel in. I parted my mouth in a silent scream, feeling Trevor's cock slide in and out of my core, hitting a foreign wall and seemingly, that engorged spot that had brought forth the first of many shared orgasms. I swirled my hips and felt Trevor twitch inside of me, "Oh, Trevor," I moaned, throwing my head back and closing my eyes, continuously rubbing my clit against his patch of curls.

"Noa… God!" he grumbled deep in his throat, his hand at my decorated nipple, pinching it ruthlessly, snapping me out of my aroused trance.

I opened my eyes and lulled my head forward, bringing my hands to his to pull it away my sensitive bud. I brought his fore and middle finger to my mouth, imitating sex with it as I rocked my hips against his manhood. The low rumble my throat provided with my silent moans travelled through his body and his mouth gaped in an inaudible gasp. He clenched his teeth and sucked in air, grunting carnally as I released his fingers with a pop. I lifted my body slightly and shook my ass, "Ugh, you…" he said between clenched teeth, delivering a slap to my ass cheek.

I squealed and bit my lip, repeating the same motion, gaining myself another slap, "Ah!" My second orgasm was there so I steadied my hands on his stomach and rocked my pelvis as fast as I could against his, "I—I'm…" I gasped loudly as my orgasm rippled through my body, "TREVOR," I shouted, feeling the maniacal smile my mouth had formed.

And, suddenly I was dizzy. Swimming in fast movement and my recent explosion of shattering chakras. But, I didn't have time to react as I felt Trevor's mouth hungrily possess mine, and the warm fabric of his duvet against my back as he had flipped us expertly without disconnecting our bodies from their primal embrace. His tongue probed my mouth, running smoothly over my teeth, provoking and taunting me to continue my rolling hips from underneath his body. He growled as he bit my bottom lip, momentarily causing me to stop my movement, "I will never tire of watching you come undone for me," he whispered near my lips, our mouths collectively curling into a smile.

"Then touch me and make me yours," I husked with a smirk on my face as I trailed my hands up his sides, digging my nails to rake across his back.

He grunted and took a shot of air through his nose, his hips moving slowly against me as the head of his cock rubbed against my pillowy spot, "Shit, Trev," I breathily said, craning my head to nip at his chin.

He weighted his body against his left elbow, bringing his right hand between us to my engorged bundle of nerves. As soon as he touched me, I arched my body into him, hearing his sigh of approval. This man and his body and the way my body was reacting to him were meant to be illegal. No one should touch you in such way that your mind would leave this plane and leave your body to succumb to such pleasure and rawness but here we both were, existing and being one with the other, "Spread your legs," he grumbled lowly, "Let me feel your cunt around my cock," I moaned at his words but willingly complied, pushing my pelvis to meet his slow thrusting. He groaned lowly, "Amazing," he whispered.

His fingers were rubbing circles and applying adequate pressure to my nub, "For fuck's sake, Trev, how are you so good at that?" I panted and swallowed hard, gaining some throaty chuckles from the man atop me as I wrapped my legs around Trevor's waist and tilted my head back into the bed. _How does he know how to touch me? All his moves inside of me, the way his cock knows the spot and his fingers the rhythm to my sanity_.

As I'm reveling in Trevor's touch, his mouth found my lips again, the tandem of his tongue and his fingers pushing me to my third fall of the night, "Oh," he said in a breathy sigh, stopping his movements inside of me, "open your eyes, Noa."

I snapped my eyes open and gave him eye contact and in his face saw that he was ready for his release. I licked my lips and arched my body to his, "Fuck me, Trevor," and that's all he needed to hear. He pushed my legs apart and pushed his body towards my body, separating my thighs and created a comfortable stretch. He was grunting seductively and sighing to the ceiling as he pummeled into my body, "Shit," he deadpanned. I could feel the twitch of his cock between my walls and I delivered a primal moan and grabbed at my breasts, clenching my walls for his pleasure.

"Unh, baby," I groaned at the feel of his cock inside of me.

I pinched my decorated nipple and ran my free hand between my legs, parting my fore and middle finger to provide for extra friction on his shaft. I felt his thrusts get shorter and more powerful and I knew his resolve was about to crumble, "Fuck, fuck, fuck," he chanted quickly, bringing his right hand thumb to my clitoris for him to rub and speed up my orgasm to meet with his.

I gasped and my body tensed, "Trevor," I panted as my orgasm consumed my body, my body arching from the bed with my hands at my sides clenching the comforter.

"Noa," Trevor grunted as he delivered his final thrust, "Fuck, Noa," he mumbled, as he slumped forward, pressing his body against mine, trapping me between his body and the mattress, his lips on my neck. I could feel the stickiness of our sweaty bodies and I could _hear_ our heartbeats until they sounded like one. I hummed and wrapped my arms around Trevor's back, trailing my left hand fingers down his back and my right hand fingers raking through his scalp.

"Noa," he spoke softly, his right arm circling my waist. I hummed in response and smiled, continuing my ministrations against his scalp and back, "Three times."

I furrowed my brow, "W—What?" I croaked, my throat dry after our sheet burning session.

"You came three times," he swallowed, "and that first one…" I felt his smile against my shoulder.

"Trev—" I begun bashfully.

Trevor quickly interrupted me, "Stop, don't do that. You were incredible, babe," he mused unapologetically.

I sighed and bit my lip, "So were you," I conceded, running my fingers over a developed welt that my nails had left on Trevor's back. I hissed at the feel and noticed the small droplets of blood, "Baby, I'm sorry. I drew blood."

He snuggled closer, moving his pelvis, causing me to hiss, "It's fine and I'm sorry, you ready for me to pull out?" I nodded and felt him roll over, quickly removing his condom and tossing it in his bedside trash can, "I hate those things," he said, rolling back to land on top of my body, his hands roaming the sinuous feel of my body, "Mmm, you felt incredible," he husked just as he pushed his mouth against mine for the umpteenth time of the night. I moaned into the kiss, feeling Trevor's tongue against my own, the lithe muscle knowing exactly how to manipulate and bend me to its will.

I heard the soft pop and crackle of fireworks and smiled into the kiss, breaking contact, "Pathetic fallacy," I mumbled near his lips, causing him to snicker and rest his forehead against mine, "fitting, isn't it?" I finished, nudging my nose against his.

* * *

 **A/N:** Tell me what you think! Review! And, thanks for all of you who keep up with this journey, I promise it will only get better. :)


	14. Defense

_**Defense**_

I was sore, but the good kind of sore. My weekend had turned into a sweat fest; moan filled, sheet burning, and skin-discovering spree. I hadn't been to my apartment since I left it on Saturday afternoon in order to be at Henshall's. Yesterday, he had given us the day off and I'd met with Tristan to get my weekly grocery shopping and of course, to pamper myself but let's just say, Trevor had been short from happy when he arrived to his home and saw no trace of me there. He had called me roughly five times whilst I was getting my nails done and of course I couldn't answer but when I returned the call, he sounded flustered and relieved.

It finally dawned on me that Trevor had this insecurity of being left… again. And, though he expressed his fear of opening up and loving again in fear that the someone he had let in would leave, it never really clicked until then. I had invited him over for a conversation and a home cooked meal that slowly evolved into Trevor spending the night in a much needed cuddle session. But the morning had arrived far too quickly and it was time to return to work. As my alarm went off, Trevor's hold on my body became tight, "I hate mornings too," I said as I stretched my body besides his.

"Then, let's ignore it," he replied, his voice hoarse with slumber.

I giggled, "Come on, let me shower so that I can iron your shirt."

He turned his head to meet my gaze, "Why don't we shower together, huh?" he suggested with a smirk.

I patted his chest and rolled, planting my feet on the ground, "Because we will never make it out of here on time."

He sat on my bed, running his fingers through his face, "Who says we can't shower together and not make it sexual? I can behave, Noa."

I had been moving around my room, collecting underwear and setting my outfit atop the bed, "You can, but I cannot," I husked cheekily over my shoulder as I reached the bathroom door.

* * *

Being back at work after missing a day had been the most horrifying experience I had gone through thus far. Not even working a PR project had been so mortifying and strenuous as missing one day of work for senior partners at this law firm. Tristan and I had been incredibly busy and had been working side-by-side with each other in coordinating calendars for the upcoming months, making sure their collective cases were up-to-date with the correct amount of paperwork and proper follow-up, as well as making sure we left time for them to spend with their families and for them to be able to add on as they needed and as cases came in that they wanted to take at their discretion. We all spoke about the senior partners, but on the other side of the main lobby were the junior partners and their assistants. They had less amount of work and their cases weren't as big as the ones the seniors took on a regular basis but they had a bigger turn around.

Trevor and I had kept it professional at work today and we hadn't had much physical contact as I had been extremely busy and he had been pre-occupied with an important matter, taking place in his office. We had communicated through the office chat and I had transferred calls to him, but since our arrival this morning and further discussion of the day and week's important events, he had been locked in there. I had been too busy to let my mind wander to scenarios of possible regret, a consideration of being moved with a junior partner, or maybe even a resignation, but now that I had achieved down time at almost two o'clock in the afternoon, I couldn't help but let my mind go there.

It was never easy dating your boss, it was why there was an unspoken rule that you should never fall in love with your boss but at the same time, it was quite difficult when said boss looked like Trevor Langan. I smiled and scoffed as I played with my chips. A sudden ping from my computer jolted me back, _Have you eaten?_

Trevor was messaging me, **Yes, I am currently playing with my chips.**

 _Is that all you've had to eat?_

 **No, I brought a turkey club from home.**

 _Good, I ordered Thai, it should be here soon and I ordered extra for you but I think I should've asked you beforehand..._

I giggled; **You should've but thank you. At least I know I'm in your thoughts…**

 _Oh, Noa, trust me when I say; you've been the only thing on my mind today._

I smirked and bit my lip, closing the chat box and picking up my line, pressing the number two for Trevor's direct line, " _You couldn't reply to my message?_ " he said and I could almost see the smug grin he must've had on his face.

"What I want to reply cannot be said on the chat, you know, my boss reads those," I replied cheekily.

" _Planning on giving the boss a show, Noa?_ "

I guffawed, "Oh, trust me, he was _plenty_ entertained this past weekend."

I heard the catch on Trevor's breath and the low chuckle that followed after, " _Really? And, how do you know this?_ "

I bit my lip and sat back on my chair, "Because," I began lowly, "I was the source of his entertainment," Trevor hummed low in his throat and I could tell the conversation was having an effect on him. I was going to let it sink for a while longer, but I heard the chatter that came from the front and knew Trevor's food had arrived, "I would love to share with you every filthy detail, but my boss' food has arrived and the man does carry a temper when he isn't fed so, goodbye."

I clicked the receiver and stood, rapidly making my way to Jeanine's desk. The older brunette had been putting in orders for the office, restocking our necessities, and welcoming guests that were seeking legal advice all the while, attempting to maintain her composure. Jeanine handed me the bag with the food contents but not before taking out an order of beef nam tok for her enjoyment. I walked the rest of the contents back to Trevor's office and knocked twice, as I always did before pushing the door open. Trevor was talking to whom I assume was his sister and I took it upon myself to set the food out, "Yes, Tilly, I know that."

It sounded as if his sibling was scolding Trevor, "Well, Noa got me out of there before anything else could happen." _Is he talking about the networking event?_

As I was emptying the contents of the bag I saw the bowl of drunken noodles that he knew I enjoyed so much and smiled, taking them out and setting them aside. It was funny-this whole exchange because in the privacy of my home or his, Trevor didn't like to be served. He preferred to help me set the table or he would be there with me in the kitchen, passing me utensils, or grabbing the plates for me to serve the food but in the office setting, me arranging his lunch atop his desk had happened more than once and he seemed completely unbothered by it all, "You'll meet her in a couple of weeks for my birthday," he said as he winked at me.

I rolled my eyes and trashed the bag, "All right, Tilly, goodbye. I love you, too," he finished as he placed the receiver on the console, "You know," he begun, grabbing the fork I had set next to his mussamun curry chicken, "You didn't have to do this."

"I didn't hear you complain, Langan," I replied as I sat on one of the chairs in front of his desk.

He scoffed and smiled, taking a bite of his food. He pointed at the drunken noodles, "Eat, Noa; I know a sandwich and some chips didn't fill you up."

I opened my mouth to protest and honestly, I was getting ready to put myself down, but he interrupted me before I could, "And, don't you dare say something like you did on Sunday because I swear to God," he emphasized, glaring at me mischievously, "I _will_ have you on top of this desk," he finished.

A shiver ran down my spine and I looked at my hands, attempting to hide the sudden heat that could be felt on my cheeks, and I nodded, grabbing the bowl of noodles. We fell into a comfortable silence, one in where we stole flirtatious glances, and Trevor winked, as his eyes would trail the cleavage formed by my shirt, "So, I'm meeting your sister?" I asked between bites.

He chuckled and wiped his mouth, "Yes, you're coming with me."

"Where exactly am I going, Trevor?"

"Montauk," he offered, "As you know, my birthday is in a couple of weeks and my family and I always go to our beach house. I don't exactly like big celebrations for my aging, but birthdays are a big thing in my household."

I nodded and smiled, "And, you were just going to kidnap me or were you going to say something, eventually," I smirked.

Trevor chuckled and shook his head, "Don't be difficult, woman."

"Ha! It's the only reason you like me…"

Trevor leaned back on his chair and eyed me; his penetrating stare wandering across my chest, stopping at my neck, and slowly continuing up my jaw to finally stop at my lips. He was doing this on purpose and he knew how my body would react to the scrutiny of his gaze and he smirked once he saw the slow fall of my chest as desire coursed through my veins. He bit his lip before speaking, "I'd like to think so, but we'd both know I'd be lying," he finished, raising his blue eyes to meet my brown ones.

I hummed and smirked, attempting not to speak because if I did, it'd only be but a mewl. How pathetic I'd sound if I were to open my mouth to speak because he'd win and for now, this back and forth served as ever-lasting foreplay. Before the weekend, the lines had been blurred more than once, serving as fuel to our growing fire, filling our bodies with angst, but now that we had crossed the threshold, we knew what it meant and more so, we knew how our bodies reacted to the other's teasing. It was stupefying, honestly, how our bodies were so attuned to each other just like century lovers. It was a dance as old as time and we had not been afraid to learn and perfect its technique for the pleasure of the other.

I could hear the ring of my phone in the distance and I broke the hold our eyes had, standing quickly, placing the bowl of noodles atop his desk, "I'll clean up, it's almost time to go home anyways," he mused as he shot me a quick smile.

"Yea, tell that to that phone. It has been going nonstop today," I retorted as I fixed my skirt and exited his office, closing the door behind me.

I jogged quickly to my desk that was but two feet from Trevor's door, "Henshall & Langan, Trevor Langan's line. This is Noa," I said into the receiver, sitting on my chair, and moving the mouse to wake my computer.

The person on the other side of the line cleared their throat, " _H—Hello, may I speak to Trevor Langan?_ "

"May I ask who's calling?"

" _My name is Lt. Olivia Benson from Manhattan's Special Victims Unit_ ," the woman answered, " _I have a Milo Kent detained here at the one-six, he's asking for his lawyer._ "

My stomach dropped and I literally felt my heart slow down, Special Victims Unit? That meant sex crimes. I could almost feel the room spin and I placed my right hand flat atop my desk and took a deep breath in, centering myself and willing my body to respond, "Uh, yes, one moment please," I uttered quickly, placing the Lieutenant on hold as I reached for the pad to press for Trevor's line.

" _Miss my voice so quickly, huh?_ " Trevor attempted to quip, but I was not having any of that at the moment.

"You have Lt. Olivia Benson on one," I said, hearing Trevor grunt, "Milo's at the precinct and he's asking for you."

" _What?_ " he nearly shouted, " _Milo as in Henshall's brother?_ "

"If you know another Milo Kent, please let me know," I deadpanned.

Trevor sighed, " _Tell her that I'm on my way,_ " I okayed him and went to disconnect when he spoke again, " _Oh and let Henshall know that his brother is in trouble when I leave._ "

* * *

 **A/N:** Short chapter for you guys, kind of a filler and a prompt for other chapters to come. Thank you for the reviews! Keep them coming, I love reading what you guys have to say.


	15. Meet the Family

_**Meet the Family**_

It was Trevor's birthday weekend and he had invited me to spend it with his family and close family friends. He had expressed his dislike for big birthday parties and just enjoyed spending time together with his family. There would be a lot of firsts happening in this trip: first time 'meeting' the parents as Trevor's girlfriend, first time meeting his siblings—officially, first time meeting his best friend, and first weekend trip. It was bound to be an interesting weekend and though I was looking forward to it, I was also dying of nervousness. Trevor had hinted at the possibility of his family interrogating me, like on our first date—a round of truth per se—and that they weren't going to be as lenient as he had been at that time, especially Alexandra or as he called her, Lex. He had given Friday off to everybody in the office as a form of a thank you for surviving one of the most brutal cases we had seen thus far. He was set to pick me up and we would be leaving for Montauk together.

The buzz coming from my intercom snapped me from my task in the kitchen. I walked promptly towards it and released the buzzer. I knew it was none other than Trevor and in a few seconds, my intuition would prove me right. About a minute later, there was a knock on my door, "Open," I shouted from the kitchen.

"You know," he begun, "I don't like that you're so free with your buzzer, Noa."

"You and the delivery guys are the only ones that press the buzzer. Tristan has a key and my sister doesn't visit, so…" I turned around, finally acknowledging the man in my archway wearing his mint trunks, salmon linen shirt, and Adidas trainers.

I arched and eyebrow at him and saw him smirk, "Food is on top of that counter," he quipped, approaching me.

"And, your point?" I husked, circling my arms around his torso and looking up at him.

"My point," he said, leaning forward and claiming my lips slowly, "I'm a man, with feelings, and all you see me for is a piece of meat," he dramatized, placing a hand over his chest whilst the other wiped at an invisible tear.

I giggled and tapped his chest playfully. I turned and grabbed the sandwich I had been preparing for him, "Turkey, bacon, cheddar, mayo, and mustard."

He grunted, throwing his head back, "Talk dirty to me."

I chuckled and turned as I grabbed my own sandwich and took a bite, looking at my shoes, "Why are we wearing the same shoes?" I mused, my mouth partially full.

He looked down as he propped his body against the counter across from me, "We, obviously have great taste," he chuckled, taking another bite of his food, "Mm, do you have some more of that passion fruit juice you gave me last time?"

I nodded and wiped the corner of my mouth with my finger as I pushed myself from the counter. I took a brief step and leaned on Trevor's body, feeling him wrap his free arm around my waist as I reached over him to grab a plastic tumbler from the cupboard. I looked into his eyes and smiled, chancing a glance at his mouth, noticing a dot of mayo at the corner of his lip. I leaned forward and licked the oddity, causing him to smirk. He released my body and I turned towards the fridge, taking out and pouring us a cup of the juice to share. He noticed me fidgeting with my forefinger ring, "What's wrong?"

I was lost in my thoughts, chewing calculatedly, "Huh?"

"What's wrong?" he repeated with a smile, pointing at my left hand.

I looked down and shook my head, "You noticed that, huh?" he nodded, "I'm nervous."

He took a sip from the cup, turning on his waist to grab a paper towel from the dispenser, "Could've fooled me," he chuckled, "What's got you nervous?"

He cleared his throat as he leaned back on the counter, propping his hands besides him, "Meeting your parents, your siblings… people that are important in your life," I finished, stuffing my face with the last bite of my sandwich.

He chuckled and handed me the cup, "You've met my parents before. You even had lunch with them once, it won't be different this time," he shrugged, "You've met Thomas," he offered with his hand.

"Yea, for what? Three seconds, while he asked 'is Trevor busy' as he walked into your office," I chuckled, taking a large gulp of juice.

Trevor cocked his head with a wry smile, "You're going to be fine, Noa. They'll love you, I know it."

I pushed myself off of the counter and stepped to the sink, shaking my head, "I don't know, Trevor," I mused.

"Hey," he said, grabbing my elbow and pulling me flush to him. He circled his arms around me, resting his hands on my hips, dangerously close to the dip of my ass, "It's going to be fine. They'll love you because they love me and," he trailed off, waiting for my eyes to meet his, "you're the first woman I've brought home since Miranda."

I raised my brows at the admission, "Really?" he nodded and I sighed, closing my eyes.

He pressed his lips against mine, slowly deepening the fall until my body gave into him. My lips parted willingly, granting him the access he wanted, and he didn't waste a second to probe the familiarity of it all. Our tongues danced, a familiar and known dance until Trevor pulled back with a smile, leaving me exposed. He pulled me closer and kissed my tongue, imitating sex with his mouth before pulling back completely. He kissed my cheek and ran his thumb across my cheekbone, "You'll be fine, I promise."

I nodded and pushed on his body, "Do I look ok?"

He smiled, releasing my body from his grip. I was wearing high-waist chino shorts, one-piece periwinkle bathing suit, and an oversized button down shirt that was left open and tucked inside my pants with my Adidas trainers—the same ones Trevor sported, "You look great but if I'm honest, I just noticed your outfit, I've been distracted."

I rolled my eyes and smirked, "By what, Trevor Langan?"

"This," he leaned forward, snaking a hand inside the open shirt to thumb my right nipple and its enticing dangle barbell. He smirked as he noticed the catch of my breath and the way my teeth raked across my bottom lip.

"Should I put a sticker over it?" I asked, my voice wavering as he brought his hands to my hips. I had hidden my face and averted my eyes; knowing how much he disliked this behavior.

I felt his fingers on my chin, "My parents, my siblings, not even I have autonomy over your body," he smiled sweetly, assuaging my sudden discomfort, "If you want to put a sticker over it, then do so but don't do it on my accord."

I kissed him gingerly and left to grab my bag and his present from my room. Upon returning, he had already cleaned up in the kitchen and we were ready to go.

After having been in the car for roughly half of the ride, I noticed that I had left my cap at home and grunted. I told Trevor what had happened and he just chuckled saying that I could either borrow one of his or we could stop in town and buy me a new one. I had asked to ride with the windows down. There was something about road trips that brought me comfort once the windows were rolled down and I could feel the sun on my skin, the wind in my hair, and… yea, Trevor's hand on my thigh.

Ever since our first date, when I had granted him consent of placing his hand on my knee, he would do it every time. It brought him comfort and I'd grown used to it. Closer to town, he called his mother to see if they needed anything for the house. She gave him a quick list and we stopped briefly to pick up the groceries and continued our way to the Langan's beach home.

We went down a winding road and I perked up at the trees and the way they provided shade from the blazing August sun. I looked at Trevor and he smiled, giving a reassuring squeeze to my knee. I placed my hand on top of his and smiled. At the end of the road there was a roundabout and that's where the house stood. It was your typical beach home, made from hardy siding and brick. It was beautiful! I gasped and removed my sunglasses, placing them on top of my head as I took in the beauty of the house. Trevor parked in front and raised his brows, "Ready?"

I nodded and hopped off the SUV, quickly turning to the backseat to grab my weekend bag and Trevor's present. He walked towards me and grabbed my hand, leading me towards the steps that led to the front porch and subsequently to the inside of the home. Inside, you could hear the ruckus of kids playing and adults laughing. Trevor dropped his bag at the bottom of the stairs that were immediately adjacent to the door, removing his shoes and socks, and prompting me to do the same. He grabbed a hold of my hand and guided me down the hallway to the beautifully lit and open space of the kitchen and living room, "This is beautiful, Trev," I relinquished once I saw how the floor-to-ceiling windows gave view to a deck and the beach.

He shrugged, "I know of someone that could compete with that view," he smiled, winking at me.

"Uncle Trev," came the sweet voice and shrill of a little strawberry blonde girl. She ran to her uncle and he picked her up, tossing her high in the air as the girl squealed in contentment.

"Emily," Trevor grumbled as he roughed up the girl that couldn't have been older than five. The girl giggled and attempted to shield her little body from the tickles Trevor was giving her. Trevor finally propped her up on his arm, "Hey Em, this is Noa, can you say 'hi'?"

Emily looked at me with her beautiful sky blue eyes, "Hi Noa," she said sweetly, "are you my uncle's girlfriend?"

I smiled and opened my mouth to answer when the stern voice of a woman interrupted me, "Emily Addison Cabot," the woman admonished.

The girl hid her face in Trevor's neck, "Lex," he piped up, grabbing my hand and walking me towards her, "it's a valid question."

"She gets that from her mother," the blonde relented, standing on her toes to hug and kiss Trevor.

Trevor shook his head, "Lex, this is Noa—my girlfriend. Baby, this is Alexandra Cabot, the mom of this beautiful sack of bones in my arms."

I heard Emily giggle and I extended my arm for the blonde to take, "It's a pleasure."

She looked at me, then at Trevor, then at my hand, "You never told her than once you bring her home, we don't handshake," she chuckled. I glanced at Trevor dumbfounded when I felt the blonde pull me in for a hug, "Call me Alex."

I sighed and reciprocated the hug. We parted, eyeing each other at arm's length, "Your daughter has your eyes, she's beautiful."

"Thank you and so are you. I'm glad _this_ _one_ ," she turned to give Trevor a pointed look, "finally decided to give blondes and foreigners a rest."

"Oh," I responded, "actually, Alex, I kind of _am_ a foreigner."

Alex's eyes went wide at my admission and she covered her mouth with her hands, "Oh God, I'm sorry. W—Where are you from?"

"She's from the Bronx," came a familiar voice, "but she's Puerto Rican."

Alex turned and I shifted to glance behind her, "Noa," Trevor begun, "this is—"

"Casey Novak," I said, running towards the woman and wrapping her in my arms, "what are you doing here?" I asked.

"I'm here with my wife and daughter."

I turned and saw the confused expressions of both Trevor and Alex, "They don't know what just happened," I tittered at their faces.

Casey nodded and giggled, "I know Noa from softball since we were in high school. I dated one of her teammates too."

"Casey and I played against each other, a lot. I believe I beat you a couple of times," I mentioned, elbowing Casey.

Casey guffawed and stood next to Alex, "So, you're Puerto Rican?" Alex asked as I nodded, "You're not foreign then, Noa."

Trevor snickered, "Trevor forewarned that you might say something like that. We couldn't resist."

"You—" Alex begun, swatting Trevor on his shoulder multiple times.

"Hey, hey," Trevor said, attempting to escape the blonde's wrath, "Em, tell Mama not to hit me, please."

"Uncle Trev is in a lot of trouble," Alex huffed.

"Uncle Trev needs a timeout then, right Mommy?" the girl asked her redheaded mother.

Casey chuckled and shook her head, "Right."

At that moment, the sliding door opened and in came Thomas and his wife, as well as a little boy who did the same as Emily. Trevor placed Emily on the ground and picked up the boy by his legs, swinging him upside down, "Jesus, Trevor, be careful," I pleaded.

"If I don't do this now, he'll follow me around until I do, right Zach?" Trevor answered, grabbing the boy's wrist and turning him to place him on the ground.

"Right," the boy shouted.

Trevor fixed his shirt, "Tommy, Ramona, Zach; this is Noa, my girlfriend."

Thomas was the first to answer, "Noa? From the office?" he mentioned as he approached me to wrap me in his arms. Trevor answered and Tommy released me, "Welcome."

I nodded my thanks and Ramona approached me next, "You are beautiful, Noa," she said as she wrapped me in her arms.

"So are you, my God; your eyes!" I responded, commenting on the woman's near yellow eyes.

I felt little hands wrapped around my legs and when I looked down, Zach, "Hi," said the boy, "I Zach!"

I knelt and brushed the boy's dirty blonde bangs away from his face, "Hi Zach, I'm Noa," the boy smiled and fell into my arms, "Aww, you are too sweet."

By then, Senior had walked in accompanied by another dirty blonde who sported an uncanny resemblance to Tommy and I knew, this was his twin sister, "Noa," Senior exclaimed, "I see Trevor finally asked you out."

"Finally?" the others parroted.

Senior waved them off and offered me a hug, "This is Tilly," he said, motioning to the woman next to him.

"It's a pleasure," I responded as she, too, offered me a hug.

"Likewise," she responded, "Now, I'm sure Trevor warned that an interrogation would come with this meeting," she commenced.

"Tilly, Jesus!" Trevor grumbled.

"Relax, _Forgy_ ," she playfully retorted, "we won't start right now."

Trevor sighed, "Where's mom? And, Oscar?"

"They went to the hardware store," Casey answered, "They're trying to figure out the swing set for the deck."

"Mama, can we go to the beach now?" Emily dragged on, tugging at Alex's tunic.

"Baby, one second. We have to put the groceries away first," Alex answered.

"Uh," I interrupted, "I—I can take her if that's ok with the both of you. And, Zach too if he's interested."

They all eyed each other and nodded, "Sure, we don't mind at all."

* * *

 **A/N:** Trevor's birthday weekend will be a three-part read with this being part one. I haven't forgotten about Milo and just be forewarned, there are hardships coming ahead. Don't say I didn't warn you though. Thanks for the reviews, I love and live for them. :)


	16. Family Interrogation

_**Family Interrogation**_

After introductions were out of the way, we had stepped out to the deck where Senior and Tommy were grilling food and smoking the meats for our dinner, and Trevor had discarded his shirt. I had sat down and helped the kids put on sunblock while the adults lathered each other up. After the kids were protected, I stood and removed my shorts, neatly placing them on top of the chair I had occupied and shrugged off my oversized button down and as I turned, I felt myself wrapped against a warm body. Trevor's lips passionately claimed mine as his hands roamed down my waist, past my hips, and around my thighs where he gripped, urging me to climb his hips. As I did so, our lips came apart and I giggled, our eyes never leaving the other. I kissed him once and nudged our noses together, causing him to smile just as he spun us around.

"That color does you well," he mumbled softly against my lips.

"I look good in every color I wear," I retorted, using the line I had given him on our first date.

He threw his head back and laughed heartily, gently bringing me down to my feet, "Oh, the humility!" he shouted, throwing _my_ words back at me.

He looked down at me and removed my sunglasses from the crown of my head, putting them on, "They look good on you, babe," I awarded, lifting my body to meet our lips.

He hummed and wrapped his hand around my waist, holding me in place as he crashed his lips once, twice, thrice more against mine, "Thank you," he said, releasing me.

As we turned around we could see everyone's shit-eating grins to which Trevor chuckled and shook his head. I smiled at the ground and tied my hair up in a ponytail just as we went down to the sand to play.

Casey, Tommy, and Ramona had joined the kids and I for some fun in the sand. We had enjoyed the refreshing water too and at some point, Tommy had said and challenged that the only important players in softball or baseball were the infielders. They had brought a couple of baseball mitts and a softball ball to throw and catch. Casey and I chuckled at his naivety and challenged him back. He was to hit a pop fly and see which one of us could catch it before it hit the ground.

Now, having played with Casey before, I knew that her forte was infield as a first-baseman, and she was great at the offense portion as well and she knew that my forte lain in defending, as a centerfielder or shortstop. Tommy had chuckled and for a moment thought he had the upper hand in challenge. Typical man, though, he asked his wife to phone the house so that they could watch us play. We all glanced back towards the home and saw as Tilly, Alex, Trevor, and Senior all stood near the railing. Alex cheered for Casey and even though Trevor had remained silent, he had crossed his arms over his chest and sported a smug look on his face. He knew my accolades; he knew defense was my home.

Tommy tossed the ball in the air and hit it perfectly, sending a pop fly towards Casey. She pushed through the sand and almost had it but fell short and the ball cracked a few inches away from her glove as she dived in the sand, chest and face first. Thomas chuckled and patted his knees, repeating 'I told you so' multiple times again. I had been sitting on the sand, watching Casey's efforts and stood as she threw the ball straight into my mitt, "Alright, your turn new girl."

I chuckled and shook my head, "Let me borrow your sunglasses, Case," I asked of the redhead who obliged.

Tommy appeared almost smug that Casey hadn't been able to catch his pop fly, but what he had coming next was sure to break him. I tightened my ponytail and fixed my mitt, glancing at the deck where Trevor's smirk had only grew. I nodded at Tommy and prepared myself. He tossed the ball into the air and I heard the familiar cracking sound as the ball made contact with his bat.

I followed the ball, carefully running backwards as it begun its decent. Everything seemed slower, in a way because everything had disappeared. It was just the oncoming ball and I. I noticed the proximity and powered through the hardened sand, continuously glancing upwards for the fall of the ball. I noticed that if I didn't change positions, the ball would fall without me being able to catch it so I stopped briefly and reached across with my left hand and felt the slap of the ball against the palm of the glove and instinctively I closed the glove and brought it to my chest.

The force of the run caused me to fall against my left shoulder where my body rolled over itself and I stopped on my knees, flicking my head up, still protecting that glove and ball, "You caught it?" I heard Casey shout.

I smirked and stood, reaching inside the pocket and grabbing the ball, quickly making a throw at Casey who still sported her glove, "No fucking way!" Thomas shouted, receiving laughs from his wife, Casey, and subsequently the spectators that had gathered at the deck.

I grinned and walked back towards the deck stairs, returning the sunglasses to their owner, and making our way back to the house. Apparently, during our playtime, Oscar and Gigi had returned and had been watching but were now calling us back for a somewhat early dinner. I was sweaty, wet, and sandy, "I still can't believe you caught that, Noa," Tommy pouted.

"I told you, you'd made a mistake challenging Noa," Casey giggled.

Tommy playfully glared at me as I brought my ponytail down, shaking my head to accommodate my waves, "What position did you play?"

I cleared my throat and thanked Trevor as he handed me a bottle of water, "I was centerfield or shortstop. Depending on what they needed, mostly shortstop."

Trevor had sat down at the table and I walked to sit on his lap, "She has two Gold Gloves Award, Tommy."

"Bullshit!"

Trevor nodded and kissed my arm, "Where did you graduate high school, Noa?" Alex asked, "I mean, you knew Casey then."

Everyone had gathered and sat around the table as Gigi and Tilly plated and passed food around, "I graduated Mount St. Ursula on an academic scholarship."

"Catholic," awarded Ramona, "I went to Our Lady of Good Counsel."

I smirked, "All-girls, I've heard a lot of stories."

"We'll keep them between us then," she said, chuckling.

"So, Noa," begun Tilly, "Trevor told us you know the Beauchamp's," she trailed off.

"Yea, I worked for his corporation for about five years. We met when I was living in Spain," I offered with a smile.

"What did you do? Were you his assistant as well?" Tilly said with a cocky smile.

"Tilly," Trevor warned, "don't be condescending."

"Trevor, relax," Gigi, said, "Noa, dear, have we made you uncomfortable?"

I shook my head and smiled, placing my hand on Trevor's arm atop my knee, rubbing gently, "Actually, Tilly; I was his PR rep," at this Senior glanced up and stopped moving near the grill and smoker, "I have a degree in Public Relations with a minor in Marketing. I worked at a PR firm in Spain and he happened to be one of the clients in search of a new PR manager to rebrand some of his products."

Trevor chuckled and kissed my shoulder blade, "She's a Bobcat, dad," he said.

"Really?" Senior replied with a smirk, "What did I tell you, Gigi?"

Gigi waved him off and sat to begin eating, "Do you practice your teachings?" she asked softly.

I nodded, as I was mid-bite, "I try to, yes."

At that moment, Emily passed me a paper that held a drawing of everybody with their names above their heads, "Look, it's you and uncle Trev."

"It _is_ me and uncle Trev and look, you spelled my name right! Noa, no h."

"Noa, no h?" parroted Thomas.

"Yes Tommy, like the daughter in the Bible," answered Casey with a smile.

"Her sister is Sara, no h," joked Trevor.

I elbowed him and shook my head playfully, "Abraham's wife, correct?" asked Senior.

We nodded, "So many religious women in the family," Oscar finally spoke, "I'm Oscar, by the way, Tilly's husband."

I smiled at the man, "Nice to meet you," I said.

"Who do you take most after—your mom or your dad?" Oscar asked with a smile.

I smiled and turned my head, glancing at Trevor, "What do you think, Trev?"

Trevor chuckled, "Physically, she's the spitting image of her father. Height, skin and eye color, her love for food…" he smiled at me, "Her personality, fast mouth, and her short-fuse; I think comes from her mother, but I don't know yet, we haven't met."

"Are you close with your parents?" Tommy asked.

"With my dad, yes before he passed," the family offered their condolences, "with my mom, not so much," I chuckled dryly.

"And, we won't discuss why so please, next question," Trevor rapidly piped.

I leaned towards him and kissed his lips rapidly, "Thank you," I whispered against his lips. He nodded in understanding as I turned to grab a piece of steak from my plate.

"What did you learn a little too late?" Ramona asked with a smile.

I looked at Trevor and smiled, moving to remove my sunglasses from his face. The glint of his blue eyes was always breathtaking and I felt my heart swell. I placed my sunglasses on and pushed them upwards to hold my hair in place, "Everything is temporary and with that comes the importance of being present. Your good times are temporary and so are your bad times, so when you're up, enjoy it, bask in it, and be grateful for it. And when you're down, know that it'll pass. All is temporary, except for memories, so make the most of it _all_ ," I turned to give the other adults eye contact, "More often than not, we tend to worry about what's to come, or dwell on something that's already happened. While it's crucial to care and consider your future, be careful not to let it hinder your present. Moments turn into memories. Enjoy the moment while you have it."

"That was beautiful, Noa," Alex said, "and very well said."

"What's the biggest purchase you've made recently?" Casey asked with a rogue glint in her eye.

I threw my head back and laughed, "Trevor's present for tomorrow," I relented.

"Baby, how much did you spend?" he asked with a smirk.

I huffed, "You're not supposed to be asking that question."

"She's right," Senior said from the other end of the table, "how much did you spend, Noa?"

I rubbed my brow and looked up at the sky, "Guys," I scoffed and closed my eyes, "Three hundred and seventy dollars."

I braced myself, "No, you did not!" Trevor grumbled behind me. I nodded, "Noa, look at me," I bit my lip and turned to look at Trevor, "Tell me you're joking."

I shook my head, "What the hell did you buy?" Tommy asked.

I smirked, "You'll wait until tomorrow to find out, _Thomas_."

"Well, we're looking forward to that," Gigi said, thankfully pulling the conversation back on track, "What is something my son can do that you can't forgive?"

"Umm," what _is_ something that he can do that I cannot forgive? Other than normal stuff, "Break my trust. Once that is gone, I don't think we can come back from it."

I felt Trevor's lips on my shoulder blade and I smiled, rubbing on his arm. The interrogation hadn't really gone all that bad and maybe it wasn't done but for now, they had given it a rest. Some would ask what did they accomplish with all of it but that was the simple part, they just needed to know that I wasn't going to break their son's heart just like Miranda had. They needed the reassurance from my character and even if they weren't asking it directly, the type of questions they had asked led me to believe that I was. The way Tilly asked about my job was her making sure that I wasn't with Trevor for his money. The way Gigi asked about my teachings let her know that I was a well-rounded person and that I had values instilled in me from a very young age. The way his sister-in-law covertly asked about my 'mistakes' didn't go unnoticed either. And, I knew the type of relationship Trevor and his siblings had with their parents, that's why Tommy had asked about my relationship with my parents.

I was in it for the long run with Trevor if so he chose. I had already given myself to him in the flesh and our intellectual connection had been there from the beginning and had only grown. My heart already belonged to him, even if he didn't know, it was his; Trevor was it for me. And, as I sat here on his lap, listening to stories his family had to offer about young Trevor, hearing him defend himself, feeling the low rumble of his chest against my back as he laughed, the pout he made every time I would join the teasing… I could feel myself falling faster, harder, and deeper in love with this man. It was a realization that I was not ready for; they were feelings that came at me from every corner, filling every crevice of self-doubt, self-loathe… he was the Band-Aid and the cement that held my resolve strong. He had been the reason for my smiles lately, for my overabundance of self-love, and an added ingredient to my overall happiness. I didn't need Trevor in order to be happy, but he made me happier.

The nightfall came quickly and everybody dispersed to his or her rooms. Trevor had guided me to the room he had claimed since he was a young boy, a room where the sunrise was its main decorative painting. It had floor-to-ceiling windows that pointed to the eastern sky and he had promised to wake me just before the sun made its presence known on the horizon the following morning. So, there we stood, in each other's arms, our lips melded in a bruising lock, our hands roaming with burning desire and every step we took was one closer to the cool sheets that would soon turn to ash as we burned raw atop them. His mouth nibbled on my decorated nipple, my hands pulled at his hair, and our throats rumbled with carnal desire as we divested for the other.

I bargained with the man and took control of his pleasure. There was nothing more deafening than to hear Trevor _beg_ and _plead_ for his desires to come through. I was hell on wheels with my touch and with my mouth, slowly bringing him closer, tantalizing him, manipulating his feelings, and bending him to my will just to deny him for a little bit longer. But, he was no saint either. His game was far worse. He knew how to break me and he knew that I could never hold on once desire knocked at my door. I was putty in his hands and he was the creator who would make of the clay what his hands felt at the moment. Being intimate with Trevor was art in its purest forms and every bite mark, every scratch, every loving bruise; was proof of residency because our bodies belonged to each other. They were there as memorabilia. A reminder of what the other had done, the measures we had taken just to give one another a moment of pure bliss.

It was different when our bodies became one, when we were connected and with every kiss, every touch, every nibble, and every thrust I could feel all of the bricks I had built surrounding my heart crumble. It was a slow crumble usually but not tonight. Tonight the moon was high in the sky, the waves crashed on the shore, we delighted in the breeze, the thin sheet of sweat was our blanket, and this sensuous dance that we danced served as the ball that crumbled the walls. We were so close to our release. We were so close to dissolve. It was near. It was there. It was… here.

Mistake.

Mistake.

Mistake.

To open my eyes just at the apogee of everything was a _mistake_.

As we each fought to calm our breathing, Trevor sat up, our bodies still connected. My hands rested at each side of his neck as I slowly leaned forward to capture his lips. I needed to know if it was the high post-coitus that was eliciting these emotions in him, but I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe it; I didn't want to believe it. Was it possible? Was it happening? Was Trevor Langan—his hands were at my ass cheeks, pulling me closer to him and I seethed with sensitivity, throwing my head back and hissing, "Trev," I moaned, feeling the warmth of his mouth against my neck.

He sunk his teeth in, his irascibility finding no escape as I snaked my hands to the back of his head, tugging at his hairs to meet our foreheads, "Noa," he whispered against my lips.

My eyes stung with the threat of tears and I fought, relentlessly to hold them back, "No," I pleaded softly, "please don't say it. I—I saw it in your eyes."

"Why not?" he asked, his hands cupping my face, "Look at me, Noa," I obliged, "Why not?"

I shook my head and offered a weak smile, "It's not… logical, Trevor."

He chuckled, kissing me softly, "Maybe so, but logic doesn't always preclude feelings. Sometimes, your feelings overrule what your brain might be telling you."

"Trevor," I whispered weakly, feeling thick droplets stream down my face.

"Why can't you let me say it, huh? Don't you feel the same way?" he asked softly, his thumbs swiping away my tears.

I smiled sheepishly and searched his eyes, "It should be organic, Trevor."

"And, _this_ isn't organic?" he offered with a slight chuckle, "What's more organic than when being one just after a high I can only reach when I'm with you?"

I searched his eyes and saw the rawness of his words, the emotion felt behind them. I loved Trevor, I was _in love_ with Trevor so, why couldn't I let him say it? Why was I blocking my blessing? Why was I not allowing this amazing man to love me? _Because Noa, no one's ever going to love you if you continue to eat the way you do. Why don't you lose a couple of pounds first and then go out there and find yourself a nice man._ My mother's words haunted me, taunted me in a way that served no right, "Why?" I said breathily, closing my eyes.

Trevor planted a kiss to my tear-stained cheeks, delivering a soft nibble to my cheekbone, "Let me see you," he whispered against my skin.

I opened my eyes and was met with his penetrating blue stare and there I saw how he was experiencing these emotions on a visceral level. He did love me. He didn't have to say it, I knew it; I had seen it in his eyes and I could feel it through his words.

He didn't have to say it but he did so anyways, "I love you, Noa. I love you because I do. I love you because I have no choice. I didn't ask it, I don't need to, but I love you just the same," he paused and smiled, his eyes cloudy with a threat of tears, "I. Love. You."

I kissed his lips and smiled, sucking his bottom lip into my mouth as I rested my forehead against his, "I love _you_ , Trevor."

* * *

 **A/N:** Hope you guys had a wonderful and bountiful Christmas! And, I hope you have a very happy New Year celebration as well. This is it, they say their I love you's and now is when we start experiencing some of the hardships. I'll give you guys another chapter later on tonight, just to speed things a little before I go and work on _Benson's Memoir_. Review and leave me your thoughts! xx


	17. Happy Birthday

_**Happy Birthday**_

The morning after our admission the sun slowly crept into the room through the bay windows in Trevor's room. He had promised to wake me so that we could enjoy the sunrise, but as I turned in his embrace, he still slept. His face was relaxed and his breathing was even. His stubble was coming in and I loved the feel of his scruffy face against my body. I smiled and ran my fingers along his jawline and saw him shift and snuggle closer to my body, "Noa," he whispered, filling my heart with joy. Never had I ever experienced a lover whisper my name whilst they slept and honestly, it was something I wanted to hear every day for the rest of my life. Whether it came from Trevor or somebody else, I wanted that, this that had just happened. It was the morning of Trevor's birthday and I decided to let him sleep.

I had safely crawled out of bed and made it downstairs where I thought I'd be the only one awake but to my surprise, Casey too was awake, "Good morning," I said, stifling a yawn.

She was rummaging through some cabinets, "It won't be if I don't get some coffee and food in me," she huffed as she turned around to face me, "How is it that we did all this shopping, but nobody thought of getting breakfast food?"

She walked past me to sit on the couch at the end of the open area. I chuckled and shook my head, "Case, there's got to be some eggs or bread here somewhere," I said, moving to open the refrigerator.

"Noa, I've been up for thirty minutes trying to get breakfast started and have found nothing. Nothing," she repeated.

I closed the door to the fridge and freezer, noticing that what the redhead had said was in fact true, "Ok, let's put some shoes on and go into town. We'll take Trevor's Infinity," I said, quirking my brows.

Casey looked up at me with a smirk, "I've always liked you, but I think I love you now that you've suggested carjacking Trevor's SUV."

I rolled my eyes and face palmed myself, "Oh, not you too, Casey."

She stood, opening the sliding door to grab our flip flops, "What do you mean 'not you too'?"

I sighed and approached her, grabbing my slides from the woman, "Trevor said he loved me last night after…" I looked at Casey through my lashes, biting my lip bashfully.

She snickered, "After you fucked?"

I slapped my hand on my thigh, "Jesus, Casey! Why do you always have to be so brash?"

Casey laughed heartily, moving through the area to grab her purse, "Noa, you're what, twenty-nine, thirty?" I nodded, "And, you're still shy when it comes to sex. I'm surprised Trevor didn't pop your cherry," she said, looking over her shoulder as I bended to grab at my backpack purse.

I rolled my eyes and smiled, "He didn't, I've gained experience since."

Casey threw me Trevor's keys and we exited the home. We entered the SUV and promptly circled the roundabout and were on our way to Amagansett, a nearby town. According to Casey, shopping in Montauk was a little overpriced and overcrowded, especially during this time so she preferred to leave town momentarily and do her shopping in peace and quiet and at the same time, save some money. It took us fifteen minutes to get there and roughly thirty to get all of our groceries. On our drive back, Casey spoke, "Noa," I hummed, letting her know I was listening, "do you love Trevor?"

The question took me aback; she had been remotely quiet during the interrogation yesterday so I wondered, why now? "I do love him, I'm _in love_ with him, but I don't think he feels as strongly for me as I feel for him."

Casey smiled, "How so?"

I shrugged my shoulders, "I don't doubt he loves me, I mean, he's proven that, but I feel like the ghost of Miranda still lingers. I truly believe that he won't be able to love me—or any other female that could possibly come after me—until he knows the reason behind her cheating."

Casey nodded and bit her plump lip, "So, you know?" I nodded, "Then, you _know_ he loves you. The way he looks at you, when he protected you yesterday from the follow-up question of your parents… those are things you do when you love someone. I'm surprised he didn't say it sooner, or you," she paused, turning in her seat, "When did you know?"

"When he cried in my arms," I said smiling, nodding slightly.

Casey furrowed her brow, "He c—cried?" I nodded enthusiastically, "Noa, none of us have seen Trevor cry. Not even when the whole Miranda/Otter thing happened."

I looked at Casey and really took in all that she had to say. The fact that she mentioned that Trevor had not broken down to his family, the people that knew him most, the people with whom you should feel the most comfortable with, had not seen him dissolve and crumble really told me something about my relationship with Trevor. I had his trust, that was a given, but I had his heart. Even if it was just a small part of it, I had it. It belonged to me, just like mine belonged to him. Little revelations like this one only served to solidify that I had been wrong, that there was a possibility that maybe Trevor was in love with me, that maybe he did feel for me what I felt for him. I had been somewhat lost in my thoughts when the SUV's GPS announced our arrival to the Langan beach home. Casey and I had left our phones at the home and when we rounded the roundabout to park in front of the home, we noticed a very distraught-looking Alexandra.

Casey looked at me and opened her car door, sliding out as I did the same. I could hear Alex's feet pattering down the wooden steps and on the gravel as she approached her wife and I at the trunk of the car, "Did you two not take your phones?" she asked, sighing heavily.

Again, Casey and I looked at each other, turning our heads to meet Alex's gaze, "No," Casey responded, "We were only going to the grocery store to pick up something for breakfast," Casey defended, looking from her wife to me and back again, "I—I'm sorry, sweetheart, did something happen to Emily?"

Alex shook her head, placing her hand on her wife's shoulder, "N—No, Em is fine," she bit her lip, looking at me, "It's Trevor."

My hands stopped moving, "I—I'm sorry, what? What's going on with Trevor?"

Alex had an apologetic look in her eyes, almost like she wanted to yell and lash out at me but couldn't, "Noa," she sighed, closing her eyes, "Trevor woke up and you weren't here. He t—"

"No," I interrupted, dropping the bags I had picked up and turning quickly to head inside. I left. I had left him, again. In his mind, I had abandoned him right after a heavy confession made whilst our bodies were still connected as one. A confession that he had admitted he was scared of doing in fear that the receiving counterpart would leave him **again**. And, I'd done exactly that.

Alex and Casey were hot on my heels and as we crossed the threshold and walked down the hallway to the open space of the living and kitchen area, Alex called out for Trevor. He was sitting on the couch, his back to the hallway, his elbows on his knees, and his hands on his face, "Did she say why she left?" he asked, his voice hoarse with unshed tears.

I looked at Alex, "Y—Yea," she responded.

Trevor scoffed, "Why? Why did she leave me, Lex?"

I smiled softly and looked at my feet, "I left to get groceries, baby. I'm right here."

At the sound of my voice he shot up from the couch, turning quickly and making his way around, "N—Noa, you're back," he husked, tears falling freely from his eyes.

I nodded and approached him, "I never left, Trev," I relinquished, extending my arm to touch his.

His lips crashed against me, knocking the air out of my lungs. His hands roamed my body freely until he reached the back of my thighs, where he gripped and scooped me up to rest on his hips. I latched my ankles together behind him, using my hands to frame his face as I dived deeper into the kiss. I needed for him to understand that I wasn't going anywhere that, I wasn't leaving him. I was here to stay until he tired of me, until he didn't want me any longer.

Air, always making it self known, and the burn of its presence through our bodies when he pulled back, resting his forehead against mine. His eyes were closed but the tears had escaped the safety of his lash-line, "Don't you _ever_ leave me again," he said through gritted teeth, "Do you understand me? Ever, Noa."

I scoffed playfully and swiped my thumb across his cheekbone, ridding the moist that coursed through his face, "Open your eyes," I whispered near his face, he rapidly obliged and I smiled, stroking his face with my thumbs, "I'm not going anywhere, Trev. I love you, with all my heart. I love you," I finished, placing a soft kiss to his lips.

He nodded and placed me on the ground, kissing me twice before releasing my body, "I'm s—sorry."

I shook my head, "Don't be, I should've left you a note or something," I said patting his chest.

"Why's the door open?" Tilly asked, approaching us, "Trevor, your trunk is open," she continued, "Why is—Trevor are you, are you crying?"

Trevor smiled at me, moving his face to kiss my forehead, wrapping me in a hug, "I love you, too," he said against my skin, placing another kiss to my forehead.

"Happy Birthday, baby," I said, resting my head against his chest, "Now, go sit while Casey and I prepare breakfast for you Langans."

"What?" Casey quickly said, wiping at her face.

I giggled and broke the embrace, "You were the one starving an hour ago so, come on, chop-chop," I said, clapping at the woman and urging her to move.

Casey rolled her eyes and smiled, turning to walk back outside in order to bring the groceries inside.

* * *

We enjoyed a beautiful day out. Senior had spoken to his friend down at the marina and had gotten us a yacht to enjoy our day underneath the sun. After our little morning mishap, Tilly had been badgering every single one of us for information, and I had clung a little bit tighter to Trevor. I knew he was still shaken up and I could feel his anxiety slowly roll out of his body every time he would have me pressed against him. We had spent a greater part of the morning and most of the afternoon in the yacht, exploring the Montauk coast. We had returned to the home and everybody had dispersed and disappeared to their rooms to shower and rest before we made it out for the evening. Trevor and I had showered together and now lain naked in his bed, pressed against each other, enjoying the feel of our bodies together.

I don't know when or how it happened but I awoke by myself in the bed and when I focused my eyes to the outside, the sun was setting. I stretched and moaned, feeling my muscles pull and contract as I rolled over to the empty side of the bed. It was cool to the touch and my body, having been exposed to the summer sun, welcomed the feel. I noticed a folded piece of paper with my name on it and stretched to grab and read it.

It was Trevor's handwriting, ' _Baby, I'm downstairs waiting for all you women to get ready. Hopefully you're up and reading this by the time I make it out of the room, otherwise, my mother will kill me for not waking you in time. I love you._ '

I smiled at the note and got up, running to my weekend bag and kneeling in front of it. I had already showered roughly an hour before falling asleep, but I still wanted to freshen up.

I hopped in the shower quickly and brushed my teeth in the process. I stepped out and eyed my outfit, a yellow maxi dress that featured a triangle bust with deep v-neckline with halter tie straps, a pleated front with faux wrap skirt, and a hip high front side slit. The color of dress complemented the shimmering tan I'd achieved throughout the two days of continuous UV rays that I accentuated even more with shimmering lotion to my body. I forfeited the idea of underwear, smiling devilishly to the thought of Trevor snaking his hand up my thigh just to discover that my apex was free of obstruction. I placed my gold hoop earrings on, and applied light makeup to my face. I finished my ensemble with a light brown canteen bag and matching chunky strap heels. My hair sported a natural wave that I decided to keep and I exited the room, fidgeting with my left index forefinger ring.

I made my way downstairs just as Alex was attempting to stop a running Emily, "Emily Addison Cabot, let me put this diadem on," she gently scolded with a smile on her face.

Emily collapsed on my legs, looking up at me, "You caught me, Noa," she said, giggling to her self.

I nodded and tucked my waves behind my ear, "Noa, you look beautiful," Alex, offered, quickly placing the diadem on her daughter's head.

"Thank you, Alex," I said, rubbing at Emily's back, "You look rather ravishing yourself!"

Alex waved me off and smiled, "Trevor's going to die when he sees you," she said, biting the tip of her tongue and smiling.

I laughed heartily, making our way back into the living room. I was the last one to come down as everybody sat and stood waiting for the others to add their finishing touches, whether it was to their ensemble, hair, or to their child, "Noa," Trevor whispered loudly, a rogue smile falling on his face, "I take everything back. Sorry ladies, you all look unsightly compared to Noa; except for you Emily," he said towards the girl, "you still look precious, sweetheart."

"Trevor," I said, gaping my mouth.

He approached me, slowly closing the gap between us until he had me in his arms, "What? I'm not lying," he said, placing a kiss to my lips, "You're glowing, baby," he said softly before capturing my lips again.

"When you two are done playing tonsil hockey over there," Thomas begun, "we can leave, otherwise we'll be late."

"Daddy, I go with unc," Zach asked, stumbling to grab Trevor's hand.

"Mama, can I go with uncle Trev, too?" Emily asked, jumping at her mom's feet.

Trevor looked at me and smiled, "Do you mind?"

I shook my head and returned his smile, "Not at all."

With that we all exited and climbed in the respective vehicles and made our way towards the restaurant. Despite Trevor's quip, everybody looked amazing in their evening ensemble and though, casual looking, everybody had thrown on their best. We rode rambunctiously towards the restaurant, having an almost six-year-old and a two-year-old in the car proved quite challenging, but definitely not hard. Trevor was a gem with his niece and nephew and seeing him with them, really tugged at my ovaries. Every time he would reach behind my seat to play with Emily's toes or look through his rearview to capture Zach's expressive hazel gaze my insides yelled and kicked at the man. We had yet to have sex without protection, even after being medically cleared, we still chanced a risk of pregnancy that though now, I wasn't bothered by it, I did not know where he stood. He always complied when the request came for a condom without protest and though thankful, I still wanted to know what he wanted to do in terms of our birth control.

At the restaurant, we had chatted, bantered, and eaten gleefully. Everything had been delicious and when time came to sing to Trevor, he had momentarily closed off to all the attention he was receiving. I managed to snag some whip cream from the cake onto my finger and gently dabbed it on his nose, wishing him the best year of his life and capturing his lips slowly in a kiss. The time had come to open his gifts and every single one of us had taken the time to explain the meaning behind the gift. When my turn came, I didn't have to explain why it had been so expensive. I had gifted him a whisky decanter and glass set, monogrammed and engraved with his initials and matching keepsake wood box. I had accompanied his gift with a hundred dollar Japanese whisky that his father, brother, and brother-in-law seem to fawn over just as much as Trevor had.

After everything, we had made it safely back to the beach house and were now in the process of melding our tongues as we divested each other. Trevor's breathing was ragged and uneven as he felt nothing but skin once my lone garment hit the ground, "You fucking tease," he groaned as he delivered a slap to my ass cheek.

I yelped cheekily falling back against the bed, feeling him hover over my body, his cock pressed against my thigh. I arched my body into him and snaked my hand between our bodies, moaning once I felt the heat radiating from my center, "I want you, Trev," I panted, grabbing at his shaft, gingerly pumping my hand.

He groaned, closing his eyes, "Noa," he warned, slowly opening his eyes.

"I need you, Trev, please," I whined, rubbing his head against my wet heat, slowly lining him with entrance.

He pushed inside of me, making us both gasp at the raw feel of our bodies.

Finally, unabated pleasure with infinite possibilities…


	18. Threat

_**Threat**_

"Are you going to tell me what it is you want for your birthday, Noa Elisa Diaz?" Trevor prodded for the millionth time since September started.

I smiled and shook my head, folding my legs underneath my body as I searched the web on my laptop. Ever since the fourth, I had been running into Milo at every corner that I turned into. I hated it and I couldn't help but think that the man was following me or had a tracking device up my ass. Thankfully, the times that it had happened, I was on my way to Tristan's building or to my mother's house and I always made sure to catch a cab or car service back to my home. I hadn't told Trevor about it in fear that he would start picking me up and dropping me off and wanted me to depend more on him for basic necessities. I wanted a boyfriend not a keeper and knowing Trevor that was exactly what he was to become once he found out that Milo had been stalking me. Tristan and I had debated about my telling him about the situation but in the end, I always backed down saying that I could handle it and lately, it had become excessive and I was beginning to get paranoid, hence why Trevor was in my home at nine o'clock on a Saturday morning.

After one of my countless encounters with the pervert, I had decided to look into getting a dog, a guard dog just like I had when I had lived in Spain. It was safer than a gun and it provided companionship as well. I had been looking online for a retired police or military working dog and had found a ranch in San Antonio, Texas that kept and trained them until they found a forever home. Adoption was free, but the new owner was responsible for flying the dog out. I heard Trevor hum and I turned my head, noticing the man looking over at my laptop screen, "You want a dog?" he smiled, propping his legs on my coffee table.

I sighed and looked down at my keyboard, "Not just any dog, a MWD, especially this one," I said, typing and clicking away and passing the laptop over to Trevor.

He sat the remote down between us, taking the laptop in his hands, "Billings or Billie for short," he begun reading the dog's profile. I scooted closer to him, sitting sideways and propping my elbow on the back of my couch and resting my head against my hand, "I am a two-year-old retired police dog. My previous owner and I were shot in the line of duty where I lost him and my left eye to a bullet. I don't suffer from PTSD any longer, but can get really protective over my owner, especially when I feel a threat. I must tell you, the reason I am at the Ranch it's because I bit fellow linemen when protecting my owner's body. I didn't know they were there to help, I was in shock, and my eye really hurt. Besides being one-eyed, I am otherwise in perfect health. I am a sweet girl that loves snuggles and long walks. I enjoy company and won't mind staying at home as long as I know you'll be back for playtime," Trevor paused, taking a breath and scrolling down on the page, "German Shepherd, already spayed, available for adoption."

Trevor turned his head to look at me and smiled, "You know there are a bunch of shelters here in New York that have dogs we can go look at if that's what you want."

I sighed and rubbed my leg, "I know, but none of them will be Billings though."

He searched my face, "You're really set on her, aren't you?"

I nodded, "Yea, the only problem is, you have to pay for the flight and it'll go up from there depending on the type of kennel she requires," I threw my head back and groaned, "Why must I be so complicated?"

Trevor chuckled, "I'm pleading the fifth on that one, baby."

I pulled my head forward, smirking at his confession, "Smart man," I replied.

"I was thinking of getting you a watch," I perked up at Trevor's words, "I know you love wearing a good watch just as much as you love a good pair of sunglasses, but I've seen your drawer, you have a lot of those already," he finished with a smile.

I giggled, "Ooh, is it like your Movado navy watch? Every time you wear that watch now…" I looked down at my lap and closed my eyes, breathing steadily.

Trevor grabbed my chin, making me give him eye contact, "Are you getting wet?" he husked.

I looked down my nose and bit my lip, "Asshole," I bit back, snatching my face from the man's grasp.

Trevor and I had had a long night a couple of weeks ago due to a new case. We were all running on high tensions and I had been particularly short and testy with him. Part of it was, I was ovulating and extremely horny and it had been nearly two weeks since we had bedded each other. He cornered me in his office and hiked up my skirt and proceeded to finger-fuck me against his wall, making me come twice in a short span of time. Who knew that the man was just as agile with his left hand as he was with his right one… and much to my dismay, that's the watch he had sported when my nectar had spilled all over his hand.

Trevor snickered, "I wasn't one when you came all over my hand."

I shoved him slightly and went to stand, climbing over his stretched legs to make my way to my room, "Breakfast?" I asked, turning and placing my hands on my hips.

"Oh God, yes," he said, placing his feet on the ground, leaning to place my laptop on the coffee table, "It's not that cold out, but it is windy."

I nodded, "Ok, I'll be back."

We had made it downstairs and were enjoying the fall weather that had fallen upon us. We were walking hand-in-hand towards the restaurant that was just a ten-minute walk from my apartment, enjoying the other's company when I saw him at a distance. I immediately tensed, feeling my palms collect moisture, and my heart speeding up in my chest. All of this did not go unnoticed by Trevor who interrupted our stride, bringing his left hand to my face, "Hey, what's wrong?"

I shook my head and gave a thin-lipped smile, avoiding his gaze, "Can we cross the street?"

Trevor bended his knees, attempting to align his eyes with mine, "No, Noa. Not until you tell me what is going on."

I looked up at him and felt the sting of threatening tears, "Please," I said breathily.

Trevor furrowed his brow and scanned the block, looking to his right and behind him, turning to his left to see the object of my distress. He tightened his hold on my hand and dropped his hand from my face, "Come on," he ushered me.

"Noa," the familiar voice called out, "T—Trevor? Is that you man?"

I fixed my eyes on the sidewalk and followed Trevor's lead and forced myself to compose. I was not allowing for this man to ruin my Saturday morning, let alone my peace of mind. He needed to see that even though I was in duress, I was not allowing him to steal my joy, "Milo, what are you doing up here?" Trevor asked dryly.

"Oh, you know," he replied shrugging his shoulders, "I like to walk through neighborhoods and Harlem is my favorite one. They have all the good food spots," he said, smiling.

"You live in SoHo, Milo," Trevor tried.

"Yea," Milo replied, shoving his hands in his pockets, "Noa, fancy seeing you again through here. D—Do you live nearby or something?"

I gritted my jaw and swallowed hard, "Or something."

"Oh," he said, taken aback by my harsh response, "usually you're so talkative, is it because you're with your boss?"

I cleared my throat and was about to respond when Trevor interrupted, "She's with her boyfriend, Milo," Trevor responded, narrowing his eyes, "What are you doing in this neighborhood? You know better."

Milo scoffed, "I get bored and don't worry, I know which areas to avoid," he said, going to turn on his foot, "Anyways, I'll see you at the office, Trevor. And, Noa," he said, looking me up and down and grinning, "I'll see you soon," he winked towards me and I felt the bile rise.

"Or not," I replied back, smiling sweetly towards him.

He furrowed his brow and continued to walk. We stood rooted to our spot until we saw him disappear from the corner I'd seen him come out of. I looked up at Trevor who was clenching and unclenching his jaw. I opened my mouth to speak but he'd beaten me to the punch once more, "I'm going to ask you something and don't you _dare_ lie to me," he begun, turning to look at me. I nodded and looked down between us, "This hasn't been the first time Milo has shown up in your neighborhood, has it?" I shook my head and rose my head, "How long ago did it start?"

I sighed, "After he was detained."

Trevor scratched his brow with his free hand, running it down to his mouth, "T—Two months, this has been going on for almost three months?" I nodded, "When in hell were you going to tell me?"

"I know I should've told you sooner, Trev."

"No shit," he mused, turning away briefly.

"I was afraid that you'd go all protector on me."

"It's my _job_ , as your boyfriend to protect you, Noa," he grumbled loudly, "What if something would've happened?"

I sighed and closed my eyes, stepping closer to him. He was right to an extent but at the same time, I couldn't go to him every time I was scared or shaken up, "Baby, you're right and I love that you want to protect me, but at the same time, Trevor, you're not with me twenty-four/seven. I know how to take care of myself when I don't have you around, Trev, and I always make sure that I'm careful when I do run into him."

"Noa," he begun, breathing sharply; bringing his left hand to my face.

"I know, Trevor, I know. I'll be careful, I promise and I'll tell you if it happens again."

He sighed, closing his eyes, "Ok," he conceded.

I smiled and stood on my toes, bringing our lips together, "Now, can we please go eat, I'm starving."

He chuckled and nodded, quickly placing a soft kiss to my lips.

I really appreciated all that this man did for me, especially when it came to my safety and wellbeing. I had been able to get through to him without hurting his feelings or injuring his ego. After all, he was a man and it was that instinct that led him to feel the way he was feeling and I understood. As his woman, I understood.

* * *

 **ONE WEEK LATER**

Buzz! Buzz! Buzz!

 _What the hell is that noise?_ Buzz! Buzz! "Ugh," I groaned, opening my eyes and hopping out of bed. I was finally able to focus my hearing and my sight to everything surrounding me as I walked with purpose towards my intercom, "Yes?" I shouted at my intercom.

" _Open up, heifer_ ," came the voice of my sister.

"Sara? What the hell are you doing here so early?" I asked.

" _It's noon, for your information and it's your birthday so open, please. The wind is a bitch and so are you for making stand out here so long._ "

I groaned and released my buzzer, walking back towards my room to find my glasses. I slipped some sweats on and was walking back down the hall when I heard the knocks on my door. I rolled my eyes and ran my fingers through my hair, making my way towards the door. Opening it, my sister stood on the other side with a multitude of balloons and a small bag from a department store, "Happy Birthday, Noa!" she said, crashing onto my body.

I couldn't help but smile, wrapping my arms around her frame, "Thank you, Sara," I responded, closing the door behind her.

"These are for you," she said, handing me the balloons and the department store bag.

"Thank you, Sara. Come in, sit," I said, turning towards the couch and opening up the small bag. It was my favorite Prada perfume, "You shouldn't have!"

"But, I did," she said, flicking her long curtain of hair over her shoulder.

I eyed her sideways when a few knocks on my door rapped again. I looked at Sara who eyed me suspiciously and I stood, glancing backwards at my sister as I reached my door. I opened the door and Tristan stood at the other side of my door with a decent size gift bag and two garment bags, "Happy Birthday, my love!"

Tristan walked in, wrapping me in his arms, "Thank you, T. Now, don't get me wrong," I said, closing the door behind him, "what are you doing here and why do you have garment bags with you?"

Tristan placed the garment bags over my living room chair and moved to sit next to Sara, "We have been recruited to get you pampered and make sure you're ready by seven tonight," he said, motioning for the bag in his hands, "This is my present to you and I want to see you in it tonight."

I placed my hands on my hips, "Recruited? By whom?"

Tristan and Sara looked at each other, "Trevor," Sara said, "He went through Grant to get my number and after first giving me a slight lecture about it being your birthday and not having me ruin it," she said, rolling her eyes, "he then proceeded to give me Tristan's number to help coordinate today."

I sighed and smiled, closing my eyes. I couldn't believe Trevor had gone through all that just to ensure I enjoyed my birthday. He had asked to take me out and celebrate it with him but I had declined, stating that I preferred having a quiet brunch with my mother and sister and that if he wanted, he could come over and watch me clean. But, of course, he was Trevor and being in a relationship with a lawyer meant being in it for the fights of your life, "So, what are you saying?"

"We're saying, Noa, go get your ass changed because we're going to the nail salon and then we have to come back here to get ready, so please, hurry up," Tristan ushered.

"But," I begun, rubbing my hands over my face, "I don't have clothes, I don't even know where we're going…"

"You're welcome," Tristan said, "I bought you an outfit that you can wear with your ankle strap peach heels."

"You really thought of everything?" I said smirking.

"Yes, now hurry up. Tristan and I are getting ready here and thank God you have two bathrooms," Sara said, rolling her eyes.

I shook my head and disappeared to my room, quickly entering my attached bathroom and brushing my teeth. As I did so, I thought about all that Trevor had done for me, so far, today. I had hit the jackpot with this man. I exited the bathroom and quickly changed into joggers and a t-shirt and my slip on sneakers, grabbing my phone on my way out the room. I checked my notifications and noticed I didn't have anything and I decided to text Trevor, **Very clever Trevor Langan. Using my sister and my best friend to conspire against me…**

The reply came quickly, just as I reached my living room, _Should've told me what you wanted for your birthday…_

 **Asshole!**

"Ready?" Sara asked.

I nodded and grabbed my credit card/cash clip from atop the coffee table, "Aren't you going to open my gift, Noa?"

I scoffed, "No, Tristan," I said, shoving the clip into my pockets, "Knowing you, you'll have me half-naked and knowing me, I'll make us stop someplace else to buy something. You said you wanted me to wear it, let's keep the element of surprise here, shall we?"

Tristan nodded and we rapidly left my apartment, walking a couple of blocks to my favorite nail salon. I had asked, in the short five minutes that it took to walk to the salon, where we were going, what other people were invited, how long had Trevor been planning this, how long had they been _in_ this with Trevor and I hadn't even noticed it… but they weren't budging. They were giving me nothing. And, I knew, texting Trevor to find out information was going to be pointless so was texting Alex or Casey. I _loathed_ the idea of not knowing, this is why I preferred to just celebrate my birthday quietly but here Trevor had to go and make it an event.

I sighed on my chair and leaned back, letting the man and woman that were simultaneously working on my feet and hands do their jobs. I saw Tristan texting furiously, "Fighting with Jacob?" I asked.

"Minding my business, Noa," he said with a smirk and I knew then, he _had_ to be talking to Trevor.

"Tell Trevor he's a smug bastard and I'll make him pay," I said, biting my lip and smiling.

Tristan chuckled, "Stop, I will not!"

"Fine," I replied, "just wait until I can use my hands again, I'll do it myself."

"Just relax, Noa," he said, sighing, "Let the man pamper and take care of you. You do so much for him already, easy," he finished, shooting me a wink and a smile.

* * *

 **A/N:** It's Noa's birthday and we'll be in for a roller coaster ride a little bit. The hardships are coming, but I'll prompt you and lead you through. Nothing too bad... yet. ;)


	19. Surprise!

**WARNING:** Sexual content and language ahead. Continue at your discretion.

* * *

 _ **Surprise!**_

I had been right. Tristan was going to have me half-naked on my birthday and in the middle of a chilly night, but I had to admit, I looked amazing. He had gifted me a set, in a sand color, with mock-glitter fabric. It was a halter bikini top that tied at the back and it crossed at the ribcage and a midi-length bodycon skirt. It was a beautiful ensemble that he had picked for me and it did go well with my peach ankle strap heels. I had sleeked and parted my hair down the middle and tucked one side behind my ear. I had gone light with the eye makeup, but had paired it with a bold lip. I wasn't wearing any jewelry other than my left index finger ring.

I stood back and looked at my reflection on my body mirror and smiled, turning my hip outwards to look at my bottom that looked amazing behind the shape of the skirt. I sighed and opened the door, making my way down my short hallway and stepping into the living room. Tristan was wearing a burgundy suit with a crisp white shirt and my sister was wearing a round neck bodycon dress with three quarter sleeve. What I lacked in jewelry, she had excess amounts of.

"You're definitely fucking tonight," Tristan quipped, bringing his hand to his chin.

I scoffed and shook my head, "If it were up to you, I'd be fucking every day at every hour, Tristan."

He laughed, "You look really good, Noa," my sister praised, walking towards me and giving me a hug.

"Thank you," I sighed, "So do you, h—have you lost weight?"

She smiled and nodded frantically, "I joined crossfit."

I nodded and gave her a thin-lipped smile. My sister had always been thin and her pear shaped body had always served her right. The dress she was wearing fit her beautifully and I was already mentally preparing myself for whatever it was my mother had to say if and when she saw me tonight, "All right, let me grab my jacket and we can leave."

Tristan and Sara jumped forward to stop me, talking and yelling in unison, "No, you're going to suck up the cold. Nothing you have matches your outfit and it's too beautiful to cover it up with a bulky jacket. No," Tristan said, gesticulating.

"It's in the low forties outside, Tristan."

"Suck it up," Sara said, "You played outside in this weather all the time."

I rolled my eyes and bit my lip, "I had thermal wear underneath my uniform, it's different."

"Mind over matter," Sara said, "that's what my trainer says."

"Fine," I said sternly, raising my hands in defeat.

Tristan and Sara chuckled and gathered our belongings and ushered me out the door. As soon as the evening wind hit my chest, I shuddered and smiled, _'Love is carried in the breeze,'_ I heard my dad's smooth voice. I always missed him the most on this day, but I knew he was nearby, he always was. A black SUV pulled up at the curb as I fidgeted with my clutch when I felt Tristan's hand at the small of my back. I looked up at him and he smiled sweetly, extending his arm for me to walk towards the vehicle, "Of course," I conceded, taking my stride towards the car. Inside, it was equipped with a champagne bottle and a note from Trevor, ' _Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a strike of luck.'_ I scoffed and smiled, shaking my head as I lifted my gaze, seeing Tristan and Sara pouring champagne into the flutes.

We rode boisterously, sipping on champagne, and swapping childhood stories that evolved into embarrassing ones about Sara's and I childhood that Tristan was reveling in. The ride took about thirty minutes and though I couldn't exactly tell where I was because of the heavily tinted windows, if my knowledge of the city meant something to anyone, I knew we where somewhere near Midtown, "Is anyone going to tell me where the _hell_ are we going?"

"No," Sara replied loudly, "stop being a bitch and relax."

I rolled my eyes and shot a pointed look at Tristan who just shrugged and hid his face. The car came to a heavy stop, jolting us slightly. Tristan opened the door and allowed for us to file out behind him. As I stepped on the sidewalk, I fixed my skirt with my free hand, and I tucked my hair behind my ear. Looking up, I noticed we were in the Meatpacking District and when I focused, we were at Valbella. A prominent restaurant that supposedly was incredibly hard to get a reservation at, unless it was a couple of months in advance. I breathed out and grinned and felt Tristan and Sara pull me towards the entrance, "Noa Diaz," Tristan told the hostess.

The young woman smiled and guided us towards the back. We passed table after table, gaining smiles and stares from a few of the patrons. We took the spiral stairs to the second floor and she continued directing us towards the back until we arrived at a sliding wooden door that she opened effortlessly. Tristan and Sara entered first and lastly, myself.

Upon entering the crowd shouted 'surprise'. I looked up and smiled, placing my hands on my chest. Everybody was there: my mother, Trevor's parents, Alex and Casey, Thomas and Ramona, Oscar and Tilly, Henshall and Alexis, Magenta—one of my greatest friends since childhood, and Trevor. Trevor had been smirking as he walked forward to meet me halfway, "Happy Birthday, baby," he said, placing his lips on mine, "You look," he renewed, biting his lip, "absolutely beautiful."

"Thank you, papi," I replied, my voice dropping an octave lower.

Trevor parted his mouth and his breathing slowed. He smirked and grew a sudden floridness to his face, clearing his throat, "N—Noa," he warned.

I giggled and kissed his cheek, "For everything, thank you."

He nodded and bit his lip, guiding me through the room where I received kisses, hugs, and congratulations from everyone that had been invited. Magenta, or Maggie as she preferred to be called, and I took a minute away from every one to talk, from my understanding she lived in Maine with her husband and baby boy, but was in town for a conference with her company. I formally introduced Trevor to her and to my mother as well.

Drinks were being served and appetizers were coursing through the table when my mother spoke, "So, Trevor, how long you and Noa have been dating? Because, she has a habit of not telling anything to her mother."

I looked down at my glass of wine and clenched my fist underneath the table, "Uh, three months, officially," he responded.

"Y tú, ¿cuándo me lo pensabas decir?" my mother asked.

I breathed in harshly, "Mami, por favor, let's not be rude," I said, leaning back on the chair and crossing my legs, "I don't know, it never came up."

"It never came up? Who's fault is that?" she deadpanned loudly, the table suddenly falling quiet.

I looked down at my lap and bit my lip. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, already feeling my tear ducts at work when I felt Trevor's arm against my shoulder blade and his lips to my temple, "Don't let her get to you, Noa. This is your night."

I sighed and smiled, opening my eyes and turning my head to meet his gaze. I leaned forward to place a ginger kiss on Trevor's lips that had the faint taste of whisky, "Thank you," I whispered to his lips, "I love you."

He hummed and pressed our lips together once more, our teeth silently clicking, "I love you, too."

"Knock it off you two," Senior piped quickly, salvaging the conversation and mood, "we're about to order," every one laughed at his quip as Trevor and I rested our foreheads together, smiling.

Trevor was sitting in between my mother and I so I shot her a pointed look that she dismissed by rolling her eyes. Both of our waiters worked around the large table that housed sixteen hungry, boisterous adults collecting their entrees. Of course, when our waiter got to me, my mother had the audacity to suggest that I only get a salad and I felt Maggie's hair on my shoulder, "Is she still on you about your fucking weight, Noa?"

I turned my face, "She is, but I just ignore her nowadays instead of lashing out," I smiled weakly.

Maggie rolled her eyes, "What is it with her and being on your case? What does Trevor say?"

I sighed and shrugged, "He hates it when I devalue myself. Like, truly Maggie. You should see how upset he gets every time I even mention my weight."

Maggie smiled, "That's a good man, Noa. And, I know you love him…"

"Noa, are you ordering the entire damn menu?" Casey interrupted.

"I can if I want to, it's my birthday, Casey," I shot back at the redhead, smiling.

"You shouldn't, you've already put on a few pounds, mamita," my mom said towards me, not really audible to all but Trevor, Maggie, and I.

"Really, Ruth?" Maggie asked, slamming her hands against the table.

"Well, look at her," my mother defended, gesturing with her hands towards me.

"Mami, ¡por Dios! Leave Noa alone," Sara said, annoyed by our mother and her comments.

"I'll have the Filetto Barolo," I replied to our waiter, smiling as I handed him the menu.

I reached forward for my glass of wine and brought it to my lips when I felt Trevor's nose in my hair and his lips at the shell of my ear, " _Your mother is something else, Noa. I'm sorry if she's ruining your night_ ," he whispered.

I laughed, taking a quick sip, "I told you," I replied.

" _I take everything I said back, you resemble your father and your sister… well, we know who_ _ **she**_ _resembles,_ " he said, chuckling slightly near my ear.

I threw my head back in laughter and motioned with my fingers, "Un poquito."

"Hey, no sexing at the table," Thomas quipped.

"No being jealous at the table _either_ , Tommy," I replied, eliciting laughs.

The table fell into quiet private chatter and the occasional shout from the ends of the table to the other side of the room. We all ate and my mother kept chancing glances and making faces at the food that had disappeared from my plate. I kept trying to hold it together, but my smile weakened as the night went by. I continued to close off, I continued to become small, and it was Trevor's continuous reassurance that snapped me out.

A look across the table to where Trevor's parents were sitting at told me that my mood could be seen and felt by everyone surrounding me, and honestly, it sucked! This was supposed to be my time, my day, my night and my mother, with her scrutiny and judgment was slowly ruining it. I sighed and smiled, standing with my glass of wine and looking to my right towards the end of room to signal one of the waiters. They immediately filled everyone's glass, "Guys," I called out, smiling.

"Ooh, she's got something to say, y'all," Tristan quipped.

"Yes, yes I do, Tristan Walter Walsh," I replied, smirking.

"She used your government name," Trevor chimed in, "D—Did you do something on your way up here, Tristan?"

Tristan grimaced, "No, d—did I, Noa?" he looked at me.

Everyone laughed as I shook my head and saw as the man leaned back, "I just want to say, I remind myself every year on this special day how blessed I am to have been given another year to experience the wonders of this beautiful world! My birthday is a day I cherish and love because I shared it with my father," I said, looking down at Trevor. He looked up at me with a surprised look on his face and smiled, grabbing my left hand in his and bringing it to his mouth to place a kiss on my knuckles, "My father and I shared many loves in this life and one of them was the love for a good book," the table erupted in light laughter, "To quote the fabulous Dr. Seuss: ' _I am what I am. That's a great thing to be. If I say to myself, happy birthday to me!_ ' Thank you so much for the birthday wishes. My cup overflows with tremendous love and gratitude for each and every one of you! May we have another year of incredible adventures and unimaginable opportunities; cheers!" I finished, squeezing Trevor's hand and giving everybody a glance, stopping at my mother and raising my brow slightly.

Everyone replied their cheers and took a sip of their glass. Trevor stood and brought his hand to my face, cupping my cheek, "That was beautiful and what a way to dig at your mother, Noa," he chuckled, crashing his lips with mine.

"Funny, smart, and witty; isn't that what you said?" I responded, playfully looking into his eyes.

At that moment, Casey and Alex produced a beautiful raspberry and white chocolate cake with sparklers and a single candle. The cake was beautifully decorated and as they sang to me, Trevor looped his arm around my waist, joining in with the singing, "Make a wish, Noa," Casey said excitedly.

I smiled and bit my lip, leaning forward and pausing just before the cake, "Wish for the will to control that mouth, Noa. It'll do you some good," my mother said proudly. And, whilst everybody laughed, thinking that she meant my nimbleness when it came to my words, Maggie, Sara, and Casey all gaped their mouths in awe. They knew she was referring to my weight and not to my words.

I scoffed and closed my eyes, as I opened them heavy tears escaped, easily making their way down my face and I blew my candle. I stood straight and wiped at my face, taking a few steps back and turning to walk away, "She gets it from you, Ruth," I heard Maggie defend, "You never really could control yours about her weight. Really? On her birthday?"

I slid the door open and stepped out, turning to see everybody looking at me with a perplexed look on his or her face. I turned, not wanting to be near that room any longer and took the stairs quickly, hearing my name being called out. I just wanted away time and I stepped to the bar, placing my hands flat against the cool surface, "Three shots of whisky, please."

The bartender smiled and placed the glasses in front of me, grabbing a bottle of overpriced whisky and pouring them easily. As he left I shot them back quickly, feeling the stinging burn at the back of my throat. My eyes watered as I regurgitated from the harshness of the liquid, but I held my own, "Hey," I heard behind me and I turned.

"Trevor," I said breathily.

"Noa, I—I'm so sorry."

I waved my hand in front of him and closed my eyes, "Don't, please. She already ruined my night, I don't want her to ruin our moment too."

Trevor wrapped me in his arms and I sighed as he kissed my hair, "Let's go, please. I don't want to be here any longer," I asked.

"I'll go up a—"

"No, we'll go up together and I'll announce that you're taking me home. They can stay and finish their dessert. Just because my mother ruined me doesn't me she has to ruin everyone else. Besides, I want to tell Casey to save me a giant piece of cake," I chuckled.

He laughed and shook his head, kissing my forehead gingerly. We made our way back to the private room where everyone was sitting in awkward silence. I apologized and thanked them for coming out once more and ushered them to stay. Trevor collected my clutch and his belongings and walked towards me. Sara had met me by the door to apologize, but I didn't want her apology, I wanted our mother's.

I gave her my key so that she could enter my building once they were all ready to leave and walked out with Trevor. Outside, as we waited for Trevor's SUV to be brought by the valet he expressed he had told Tristan and my sister to deliver my gifts to my home and that he had one more gift for me that didn't make it in time, but that we could pick up together in the morning. The car ride back to his place was relatively shorter than the one to my home and we did so in silence. I kept going over the night and reliving the moment of that comment. The way I felt, the harshness in her voice, the look of the others around me, their laughter—even though unintentional—real.

Trevor nudged my leg and I snapped my head to meet his eyes. He smiled bashfully, "Come on."

We exited the car and rode up the elevator in silence. Once inside his apartment, I lifted my legs behind myself and took off my shoes, placing them neatly by the door and just disappeared to Trevor's room. I heard him call out for me, but I couldn't bring myself to stop and turn. He followed me upstairs where I had been hiding my face in my hands, willing the tears to stop.

Trevor enveloped me in his arms and shushed me, "Baby, it's your birthday. Don't let your mother ruin that for you," he spoke into my hair, his voice a low growl, "Talk to me, Noa. Tell me why is she so harsh on you."

I heaved and turned, hiding my face in his chest, "She's projecting," I spoke lowly, "W—When I was fifteen, I found an old photo album of my mom's childhood in the city and back at the island. S—She was overweight."

"Oh, Noa," he said, squeezing me in his arms.

"Not quite my body type, but full chunky," I chuckled and released him, sniffling, "Then I started noticing the changes in her body as she grew into her womanhood," I walked over and sat on the bed, "Papa and her met when she was still hefty and they begun dating. H—He, uh, he always said that her spirit was what attracted her to him. I guess, she knew how hard it was for her to go through the teasing and the taunting, and it wasn't until she started losing weight that she met a wonderful man," I finished, looking up at Trevor with teary eyes.

"But, her fears never let her love you. She thinks that by reminding you of your weight she's doing her due diligence," Trevor mused as he walked over to me.

I nodded and wiped my face, "I've always loved my body, but hearing her be so harsh to me about it," I trailed off, shaking my head, "Playing softball helped toned and define my body and I started to turn heads of both sexes. I've always been a flirt and once I thought, maybe she was jealous that I was getting all this attention that she never managed to get for having the exact same body type she did when she was younger, but then I thought 'no, she loves me, regardless.' Maybe I was wrong."

Trevor chuckled and pulled me up, wrapping his arms around my body, fidgeting with the zipper at the back of my skirt, "You're perfect, Noa. To me, you're perfect. Regardless of what you may think, regardless of what you may see in my exes, regardless of what others may say, Noa, you," he said, pulling the zipper and pushing the fabric down. I felt the skirt pool at my ankles and I shuddered in his arms, "You and your body are most definitely my favorite. I love _all_ of you, Noa, don't _ever_ forget that," he finished, trailing his hands down to my ass cheeks and squeezing.

I mewled and closed my eyes, "Trevor," I whispered.

Trevor brought his hands to my hips, looping his fingers on the fabric of my cheeky underwear and pulled downwards. I felt his body lower in front of mines and his lips grazed the skin of my stomach, "Trevor," I whimpered, feeling the fabric ghost past my knees.

He placed open-mouthed kisses around my stomach, nibbling at my flesh as my fingers disappeared through his dark chocolate mane. I hissed at every nibble he delivered, my skin was trapped between his incisors and he would use his tongue to soothe after it had been released. He continued south, dipping his tongue in my belly button. His hands were at my ass, squeezing, and kneading, moving his hands up and down my thighs, holding me in place as I swiveled and swayed to his manipulations.

He managed to walk me back to the bed, still kneeling in front of me as I sat on the edge of the mattress. He brought my legs over his shoulders as he settled in between my thighs. I lowered my body, anchoring my upper half on my elbows, watching as Trevor hungrily looked at my cunt. His arms were looped around my thighs and he licked his lips before diving in. I felt his tongue lap my folds and I moaned his name, throwing my head back. I tried to watch him, but the way his tongue lapped at my wetness was too much to bear. He moaned at the taste and used his arms to pull me against his mouth.

I whimpered and groaned, arching my back off of the bed, pulling my head forward when he opened his eyes. I felt his smirk on my lips, "Asshole," I moaned loudly, feeling him nibble on my sensitive nub.

I brought my right hand to his left that was resting on my hip, circling my fingers around his palm. He released his hold and I guided his hand to my decorated right nipple, "God, Trevor, please," I said, squeezing his hand when he pinched my nipple and in tandem sucked on my nub.

Trevor gave a throaty chuckle and pulled his arm on my hip, pulling me into him. I began rocking my hips against his mouth and heard him growl. I was ushering him on, running my fingers through his hair and making sounds that I never heard myself make before. Trevor stopped my movement by moving his left hand back to lace between my thighs, "Please, please, please," I chanted, running my free hand through my hair, pulling at it in frustration.

"I'm in control," he husked lowly, licking his lips and leaning to run his nose against my triangular patch of curls.

I grunted and tugged at his hair, "Stop teasing me and make me come," I said breathily, biting my lip, "You like it when I writhe and shake for you, papi, don't you?" I smirked, knowing that term of endearment, that for me held no sexual value, would stir every desirous feeling he had and in return, he'd give me what I wanted—what I needed most.

He grunted and turned his face to nip at my thigh, sucking on my skin to ease the pain that radiated through my being, that sweet delicious pain that made me whimper and moan for his pleasure, "You'll come when I want you to," he said, peppering kisses up my thigh crease, nibbling next to the point of my patch.

"Baby, please," I said shaking my head, "touch me, please."

Trevor chuckled throatily, "Only because you've asked so nicely," he finished, not even giving me the chance to react when I felt his tongue on my engorged nub.

I gasped and panted, tugging at his hair, arching my back, and rolling my hips into his mouth. He sucked on the bundle of nerves and grazed his teeth against it, shaking his head as he did so. I was there, nearing that endless fall but he wouldn't push me off the edge, he played with my emotions, he taunted me with my own pleasure, and I was succumbing into a frenzy of feels. The torture was sweet and almost never ending when I felt that familiar clench in my stomach.

I pleaded at the man between my legs and raked my nails through his scalp, bunching his hair in my palm, "Baby, right there. Don't stop, please, don't stop," I whimpered, throwing my head back, using my free hand to rake through my sweat-damp hair. I felt a relief on my hips and suddenly felt his long fingers inside my body and I gasped, lifting my head to look at him.

"Jesus, I could die in between your legs, baby," he said with a growl in his voice as his fingers hooked inside of me.

I was in the middle of a giggle that turned into a scream when I felt his digits rub that engorged spot inside me that was begging for attention. I clenched my walls around his fingers and heard him produced this sound, a mixture of a chuckle and a scoff, but with an undertone of amusement, "God, don't stop!" I screamed, rocking my hips against his fingers.

I clenched my walls again and felt him suck on my clitoris, ushering that fall. He flicked the nub with his tongue and my thighs shook and my back arched and suddenly there was blissful peace. I felt like a weight had been lifted from my body and I no longer had any worries, I felt like I had left this world. My body was tingling and my throat felt like I had just swallowed a bag of cotton balls when I heard the faint voice of Trevor calling out for me. I felt myself smiling and I moved my head to where I was hearing the voice of the man that had just brought me to the near end of my life.

"Baby," he said softly, running his fingers through the front of my hair, ridding my face of the stuck strands.

I hummed and opened my eyes, bringing my arm to the back of his neck, pulling him in to crash against my lips. I was hungry for Trevor and I projected that on my kiss. His hand was at my neck, his thumb caressing my pulse point as he hungrily took my mouth. I could feel myself smiling, as we broke apart. I heard myself mumble, but not even I could discern what I had said. Trevor scoffed and chuckled, "What was that?"

I swallowed hard, "What happened?"

"You past out and you squirted a little, too."

"T—that hasn't happened with anyone before. I'm always by myself when it happens," I offered.

"Well," he lowly said, placing his hand on the sinuous feel of my hip, "what a way to stroke my ego, Noa."

He smiled and blinked slowly, "Just being honest," I finished with a yawn.

He chuckled and shook his head, "Come on, let's get you settled and ready for bed," he said, going to move my legs to have me accommodate my body against the pillows.

I moaned at the soreness of my body, "But, what ab—"

"It's _your_ birthday," he said, hovering over my body.

"Yea, but for _your_ birthday I believe we both enjoyed the outcome," I uttered, arching my body to reach him.

He shook his head and smirked, "But, did you forget what you did with your mouth, Ms. Diaz," he said, lowering his body onto mine, "Trust me, I haven't and I don't think I ever will," he whispered against my lips.

I smiled and closed my eyes, nodding, "Sleep," he said, placing a soft kiss on my lips, "Tomorrow's a brand new day and I wouldn't be upset if my day started with you on top of me."

"Ha!" I said loudly, laughing, "Don't push your luck, Langan. You know I've never liked to follow rules," I finished winking.

"Happy Birthday, Noa," he finished, "I love you."

I smiled and sighed, "Thank you, I love you too."

* * *

 **A/N:** I cried a little whilst writing this chapter, but then... well, yea. Anyways, I know I keep saying the hardships are coming, but they really are. Thank you for the reviews, so much! Keep them coming, I love reading them.


	20. Misery

_**Misery**_

October, my favorite month of the year, mostly because of Halloween, but in reality it was because you could start seeing the changes of the season in the city on this month. Trevor and I were enjoying this Saturday morning walking around Union Square Park. He had surprised me by gifting me Billings, the retired MWD with one eye. Billings had to go through an adjustment period with both me being her main handler and then with having Trevor be rough with me as we played in our time together. Billings, in the short time I had had her, had never charged at Trevor, but she had growled at him on more than one occasion. She was very protective of us both now and I couldn't be happier and grateful for Trevor's thoughtful gift to me.

I hadn't spoken to my mother after my birthday, but not for lack of my sister trying. Time and time again, I had forgiven my mother for her behavior and time and time again she just continued to devalue my persona like I didn't matter so this time around, I decided to stick to my guns and hold my ground, I was not folding at my sister's request.

The Langans had questions about my relationship with my mother, but Trevor had managed to tame that beast and I hadn't asked for any details on the matter. It all happened pretty fast the night of my birthday, but I guess now they understood why Trevor and I had been so adamant on omitting the question during family interrogation that first day in Montauk.

We were walking with Billings in between us. She was a striking canine and more than once people, both adults and children would stop us and ask to pet her. Another thing I was thankful for, Billings loved all the love and attention she would get from strangers and she was most great when it came to children. We were rounding the park for what seemed and felt like the tenth time when I felt Trevor's arm tense.

I looked up at him and followed his gaze until it stopped at the familiar pale, dirty blonde: Miranda. Her daughters, whom were playing with each other in front of her, accompanied her. We noticed her first, as she was transfixed in the jovial laughter her children were producing when she suddenly looked up, stopping right in front of us. Billings sat when she felt us stop and suddenly her pants were all that you could hear, "T—Trevor," Miranda said breathily, "h—how are you?"

"Fine," he deadpanned, eyeing Miranda and Otter's daughters. They had a beautiful mixture of the both of them sporting Otter's dark, fine hair; Miranda's pale skin and pouty lips, and her hazel eyes.

"This is Ottily Brianne and Oxsana Drew," she placed each of her hands atop of each of the girl's heads. Ottily had a ponytail with a bright green bow and Oxsana had the same with a purple bow, and unlike her sister, she wore glasses.

The girls smiled and noticed Billings, "Mummy," _of course they have her accent_ , "can we pet the doggy?" said Oxsana.

"Please, Mum," pleaded Ottily.

Miranda looked at me and I smiled and nodded, "Sure, be careful," she said as I knelt to give the girls eye contact and make sure they weren't pulling at Bills' fur.

I happened to look up and noticed Trevor's tight jaw and unamused facial expression, "Y—You gave them the names _we_ had picked for _our_ children," he scoffed as he spoke lowly.

Miranda looked down at the ground bashfully and nodded, "I always loved the names," she said meekly.

He clenched and unclenched his fist at his side and I reached for his hand, gently prying his hand open to interlace my fingers with his. He rubbed his thumb over my palm and smiled, seemingly returning to his relaxed state, "All right girls," Miranda interrupted, "say goodbye to the nice doggy, it's time to get home for lunch."

"But, Mum," whined Ottily.

"No, Mummy," followed Oxsana.

"That's enough girls, we've been out here all morning, it's time for home," Miranda said more sternly, extending her arms for her daughters to take, "Trevor," she begun, looking between him and I nervously, "it was nice seeing you again," Trevor nodded, "Noa, thank you for letting them play with your dog."

I nodded and offered a small smile, feeling them walk past us.

I rubbed on Trevor's arm, "Home?"

He nodded and smiled, using his free hand to rub at his neck. Trevor moved to my right side to allow for Billings to walk on my left. It was a short ten-minute walk, but I'm sure Bills was equally if not more tired than us. Once inside Trevor's apartment, I rushed to the kitchen to grab Bills' water bowl, opening the faucet to fill the ceramic plate, and placing it on the ground. Billings made quick work of her bowl when I noticed Trevor sitting on his couch with his head in his hands.

I sighed and just looked onward at the tense posture, the way he raked his fingers through his hair, the way his body swayed in frustration, and I worried my lip. Trevor loved me, but was he _in love_ with me? Every time Miranda showed up, every time he revisited what had happened, it was like his love for her found its way through the cracks of the box he had forced it into. We needed to talk; I needed to place my cards and my heart on the table for him to see.

I tapped my fist atop the countertop and turned to reach in his cabinets where I knew he kept his liquor. I fetched two glasses and poured about three fingers of the brown liquid he so much liked. I walked to the couch and sat next to him, extending my arm to rub the butt of the glass against his forearm. He raised his head and smiled, "Thank you, this is exactly what I need," he mused, taking the glass in his hand.

I smiled weakly and shed my shoes, bringing my legs up on the couch and taking a sip out of my glass, "We have to talk, Trevor," I begun, seeing as Trevor leaned back and smiled, sighing.

"I figured we did," he said with a chuckle.

I raised my brows and allowed for him to continue. I wanted to know what was that with the names and though I understood why he was upset, I needed to allow for him to express those feelings and air them out, "I've always wanted a big family. She knew that and we planned our children's name once we got engaged. I've always wanted two girls and a boy: Ottily, in honor of my sister and my best friend; Oxsana, it means hospitality and it was dear to her, especially being here in the US by herself; and Drew, in honor of both of our great-grandfathers who were named Andrew. Brian is Otter's middle name so, I guess, that's where she found Brianne for the middle name," he paused, taking a sip of his whisky, "I hate that she still gets to me, Noa. After all that's happened, she still gets to me."

I sighed and looked at my lap, nodding. It was now or never, I needed to lay down the rules if I wanted this relationship to further. I loved Trevor, I was _in love_ with Trevor, that much I knew and I hoped he knew it too. I had fallen and I had fallen hard for the man besides me, but I was not allowing myself to get hurt if his feelings were subpar, "Trev," I begun, "I need you to hear this and hear me clear because I'm only saying this once," I looked up at him, "You're still in love with Miranda."

His head snapped to his right, his brow furrowed, "What?" he grumbled, "Noa…"

I nodded slowly, "Don't try and deny it, Trevor. I can see it, clear as day."

"Noa, I—I—I love you," he cautiously said.

"But, are you _in love_ with me?"

Trevor held my gaze for as long as he could, but in the end, lowered his stare to his lap. I took a sip of my glass and sighed heavily. I looked at Trevor whom was staring intently at the swirling brown liquid in his glass and I chuckled, "A mess," I mused.

"Yea, it's a mess," Trevor said, chuckling.

I shook my head slightly and hummed, "It's ok. Messes make people interesting."

"They do?" he said, dancing his eyes across my face.

I swallowed the sip of whisky I had taken and nodded, "Yes! The messier, the better," Trevor smiled that boyish smile, "Name any great artist."

He opened his eyes and parted his mouth, "Uh, Beethoven."

I hugged my glass between my hands and brought it to my lap, "Alcoholic father."

Trevor scoffed and chuckled, "Kurt Vonnegut."

I leaned forward to place my glass atop his coffee table and grabbed my phone, "Searching," I said, tucking my hair behind my ear, "Ok, keep going."

"Jonathan Franzen."

I looked up from my phone with a terrified expression, "Oh, messy divorce."

"Woody Allen," he offered, staring at me. Even though I was not looking at him, I could feel his stare at the side of my face.

I scoffed and looked up, "Please," I finished, rolling my eyes.

Trevor laughed, "Vonnegut," I said, shaking my head to accommodate my hair, "mom committed suicide. Boom."

"So, now we're taking pleasure in other's people misery?" he said between laughter.

"No, we're taking _solace_ in other people's misery," I said, leaning forward to place my phone back on his coffee table, "and we should do it frequently in order to maintain our sanity," I finished, leaning back with the whisky tumbler.

Trevor eyed me and smirked, "And, we're sure you're not older than you say you are?"

I laughed, holding in my mouth a sip of the brown liquid. I swallowed and downed the rest of the liquid, standing, "You need to think, Trevor. I won't be second option anymore," I said shakily, "You have my heart, Trev," my voice barely above a whisper, "I trust you with it, but I need you to trust me with yours too. This will _never_ work, it won't grow, it won't prosper if I _know_ your heart still belongs to someone else," I finished, walking past him.

"N—Noa, please," he said in a breathy sigh.

"I'm not leaving, but we won't be sleeping in the same bed tonight. I'll be downstairs in one of the spare rooms and I'll be here in the morning, too," I smiled weakly, "I love you, Langan, with my soul, I love you and I'll fight for this. The question is, are _you_ willing to fight for it, too?" I finished, glancing over my shoulder, "Billings, come on pretty girl, let's play downstairs."

I jogged down the stairs, leaving Trevor to simmer in thought. I didn't want to do this, but I needed to know that I was a priority and not just an option in his life. I knew he loved me, I felt it, but not the same way he loved Miranda.

Will he ever love me like her?

* * *

 **A/N:** For those of you who watch _Younger_ , that was an excerpt of the conversation Liza and Charles have once he returns from his event when Liza is babysitting the girls. Here you have it, the hardships that were aforementioned. They're taking a break and I promise they'll be fine, but for how long? ;) Review my loves!


	21. Anew

**WARNING:** Religious topics at play.

* * *

 _ **Anew**_

It had been weird, I'll admit it, but weird was good. It meant that my message had gone through his thick ass head. We had spent Halloween together, as somewhat a couple and somewhat as friends. There was no denying the attraction between him and I, and thanks to Alex and Casey, Halloween night was definitely one to remember. We had gone to the annual DA's Office Halloween Party as Hugh Heffner and Playboy Bunnies. You had your _bubbly_ blonde, your _fiery_ redhead, and that _sultry_ Latina brunette. We had won the costume contest and had really buzzed up the office and party with chatter. Trevor's costume was simple; pajama pants, velour robe, and house slippers whilst Alex, Casey, and I were dressed in skimpy lingerie, stockings, and heels. It'd been fun to see Trevor's eyes lull over my body; the flirty looks, the desirous overtones of our conversation, but he knew we couldn't make this about sex; this couldn't be fixed over sex.

That was the difference between a courtship and a relationship, we needed to be able to communicate effectively our problems and hardships in order to surpass and overcome them and yes, sex could aid some of the tension, but in the morning when the pheromones and the hormones were back at their natural levels, everything would still be the same and I didn't want that. I wanted him to be able to say 'I love you' to me and feel my body warm just by the thought of his love. I wanted to feel wrapped in an embrace of love even if I were six thousand miles away from him just like I knew he felt it when I was out of the office or nearly across town in our respective apartments.

I had fallen ill a week prior to Thanksgiving and once he noticed… let's just say; I had never seen him so flustered as that day.

 _I was feeling like shit. I looked like shit. And, I knew every one around me could tell by the way I was heavily dressed when the temperature hadn't dropped that much. I was wearing a heavy knitted sweater, a skater skirt with tights, and knee-high heeled boots. My hair was in its natural bedhead wave and my accessories included a knitted scarf, my glasses, and a tissue. I was sitting down at my desk, my head resting on my hands atop my desk as I urged the headache away and the coughs to stop. I was waiting for Trevor's ten a.m. meeting to end so that we could have our daily briefing. I didn't notice, but I fell asleep, **that's** how ill I was._

" _Excuse me, do I need to bump up your work load, Noa?" his voice startled me out of sleep and I quickly stood, swaying slightly at my lightheadedness._

" _S—Sorry, it won't happen again," I quickly apologized, sniffling._

 _He furrowed his brow, but didn't press the matter. He walked inside his office as I grabbed the tablet and followed behind, coughing softly. I sat across from him and began going over his calendar when suddenly a coughing fit took over my body, and I heaved and fought for air. His hand on my shoulder made me turn as he offered me a cup of water. I took it and took a sip, feeling his hand ghost the skin of my neck and I shivered at the contrast of his cool skin against my warm one. I hissed at the feel and recoiled from his touch, "Noa, you're burning up!"_

 _I waved him off, "I'm fine, it's just a cold."_

" _No, it's not," he grumbled, "I'm sending you home. Matter of fact, I'm coming with you."_

" _No, Trevor," I protested._

" _I don't want to hear it," he quickly said, dialing to Jeanine and asking her to clear his calendar. He was set on taking me home due to my illness._

" _Trevor," I opened my mouth to continue, but another surge of coughs was the only thing heard._

" _Noa, we're fucking leaving so get your ass up and grab your stuff. I don't want to hear it anymore, understood?"_

 _I was stunned at his choice of words, but he knew I would comply because I was feeling like shit. I nodded and stood, stumbling slightly and feeling his arms around my waist. I shuddered at his proximity and he couldn't help but be smug, "Asshole," I mumbled as he released me._

The sudden shrill of my office phone interrupted my thoughts, Trevor's line, "Yes?"

" _Hey,_ " he said cautiously, " _ready to go?_ _If we leave now, we can catch the rest of the family at the eleven a.m. service_."

I was still getting over my initial illness and I coughed slightly, "Yea, I don't even know why we came in today, Trev. You could've worked from your apartment."

He cleared his throat, " _I—I wanted to see you, Noa_ ," he said, unsure of how exactly I would take his words.

I smiled and shook my head, "Trevor," I begun.

" _I know, I know. I—I'm sorry_ ," he hesitated, " _I'm coming out now_."

We hung up after that and though all I wanted to do was run into his arms and bury my face in his neck, this was a healing journey, a learning process that _both_ were taking together. Our relationship had moved expeditiously and though it felt right, Trevor was still working through feelings and emotions over his ex-fiancé.

He had spent time in counseling, sleeping with and hurting other women, destroying his self as well as people surrounding him and though he thought he had healed—and in some ways he had—he was still hurting and it was not on me to heal him. He needed to do his healing on his own; I was only here by his side as the support system he needed. If we wanted to take it quite literal and go by the teachings of the Church, I was his woman and it was my job to uplift him and let him know that I was there for him.

"Ready?" he said, shoving his hands into his pockets.

"Yea," I said, smiling and standing, clearing my throat. I tucked my hair behind my ear and walked in front of him, feeling him behind me, just a few steps behind.

Downstairs, we found Trevor's SUV and he opened the door for me. He never stopped being a gentleman and as we exited the building's garage, his right hand automatically went for my knee before he stopped him self and withdrew his hand, resting it on the gear shift of the SUV. I smiled and nodded, worrying my lip as I looked outside to the by passers.

Maybe I was being too harsh on him? Maybe I wasn't giving him enough credit? Maybe, just maybe, I wasn't completely understanding the extent of his pain, how hard he was hurting, and how much grief lain underneath those beautiful blue eyes. It took roughly twenty-five minutes to arrive at the church and he escorted me out of the SUV and over the church steps. Inside, we were quick to find the pews where the Langan's and Novak-Cabot's were sitting at. Trevor sat next to me and placed his arm over the back of the pew. I crossed my legs and leaned into his side, sitting comfortably next to the man that I loved so.

We weren't stringing along the family or giving them a sense of false hope, this was our relationship and how we handled it was no one's business but our own. I felt Trevor's fingers on my shoulder, tickling the exposed skin underneath the cap sleeve of my dress. I smiled and reveled in the feel of his touch and I turned my face to catch his faint smile. He was looking ahead at the pulpit as the choir vocalized the beginning of the service. My smile grew and I moved my left hand from my lap to his thigh, letting the feel linger on.

This was how we healed. This was how we moved forward. The priest stepped to the altar and greeted the congregation and what he said next, let me know that this sermon was directed towards us.

"Let us be thankful to the Lord Almighty for another beautiful day and especially on this day of thanks," he begun, receiving 'amen' as a response, "Overcoming the Dark Days is what we will talk about today. Disappointment is inevitable. There is no way to live without expectations, and there is no way that our expectations will always be met. This means that we'll need to learn how to overcome disillusionment and the most difficult of days. But God has given us weapons against discouragement!"

He supported his statement with Ephesians 5:15-21 and continued to speak, supporting and explaining points of the verse that was the nucleus of the sermon on this beautiful morning. I listened to what he had to say and heard the message projected. I wasn't the only one that was truly listening to what the priest was saying, I could see Trevor nodding and bowing his head in thought, holding me tightly, sneaking his lips to my temple; he was _understanding_ that _thing_ that I'd been telling him for so long. The sermon was wrapping up and with what the priest finished with led me to believe that Trevor and I were going to be all right.

" _Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ_ , let's talk about the heavy and loaded, yes? I see a lot of couples that I have wedded and I thank our Father and Savior for my own marriage, but just let that premise sink in. Who would've thought that mutual submission was a way that we could learn to walk wisely? The truth is that we can't always see the truth of our experience. We need the wisdom of Spirit-filled believers who want the best for us. We need to be willing to listen and submit to their guidance—and they need to learn to do the same for us," he finished with that and thanked the congregation for coming out before their hearty meals and reminded them that there was food for enjoyment for those of whom didn't have plans.

As we're about to stand to leave for the Langan's home just a few minutes away, I felt Trevor's hand around my wrist, pulling me back. He brought his hands to my neck, his thumbs grazing my jaw, "I hear you, Noa. I _feel_ you and I've felt the absence and the longing of these weeks without you. It's not the same; _I'm_ not the same. I need you by my side and in my life, please. I love you… I'm yours, baby," he whispered against my lips, diving in for a careful peck.

His words rattled me and I knew they were heartfelt and true. I had his heart and part of his soul and that was definitely worth something. I pushed into the kiss, leading him to the fall we both wanted, we both needed, and we both had been craving since this whole ordeal started. Trevor always managed to suck the life out of my body, whether it was with a kiss, with a look, by the power of an orgasm… he managed to drain the life out of my body, but always managed to restore it and slowly bring me back into his arms.

I opened my eyes and sighed, leaning forward to kiss his bottom lip, "I love you, too."

I managed to leave the church more in love with Trevor than what I already was. I still had my doubts with Trevor, but I was willing to work through them with him. I wasn't that naïve to believe that after more than a month of not being constantly together, of feeling that emptiness; and one sermon at church, he was feeling the same feelings I felt for him. I couldn't lie to myself otherwise, I'd hurt myself worst than what Trevor could've possibly done so.

We rode in that bubble of love to his childhood home where we ate and bantered loudly. We never stopped being Trevor and Noa, but there was this calmness about us now and it was definitely felt and seen by the other members of the family. I helped the other women of the family put up the Christmas tree and place its decorations on whilst the men were outside being cave men and shouting at each other over the 'correct way' of putting up the lights.

It was already beginning to darken outside and as I watched the mothers with their children, I crossed my legs and hugged my waist with a lingering smile on my face. I wasn't feeling one hundred percent yet, when I felt his lips against my cheek, making a trail to my neck where he inhaled and hummed contently. I sighed and turned my head to stare at those beautiful blue eyes, "Ready to go?" he asked.

I nodded, "Please, I'm tired," I said, standing.

"I—I'll take you to Billings," Trevor said, standing straight from his bent position, rubbing his neck.

"No need," I uttered quickly, "Tessa already fed and walked her, and she'll be back in the morning to let her out."

"What are you saying, Noa?"

"I'm saying, take me with you," I husked, circling my arms around his waist, "I want to be with you tonight. In whatever shape or form that may be."

He parted his mouth and I saw his pupils dilate. Eliciting a small chuckle, I craned my neck to press my lips against his, once, twice, thrice to finally rest my head on his chest. We bid our farewell to the family and were out of their way and onward to Trevor's triplex. There was tension in the small cabin of the car, but not sexual in any way.

Let me describe it, the kind of tension where you know a kiss will happen soon and you're just filled with anticipation and dread. That's the tension that loomed over us, but we knew why. We were about to rekindle and it wasn't going to be in a frenzied or carnal way. We were going to rekindle the way where if you hadn't said 'I love you' already; you risked the possibility of saying it during or after falling into peaceful bliss with your lover.

We arrived at his triplex and as soon as I crossed the threshold of his door, I rid my feet of my heels and I was about to start to the kitchen when I was enveloped in his arms, my back against his front. He peppered kisses through my hair, finding my ear, and then my jaw. He breathed against my skin and I couldn't help but feel the safest I've been in a very long time.

This is where I belonged, in his arms, near his body, by his side, and in his presence. He swayed our bodies and spoke into the flesh of my neck, "You're the guiding light in my world, and I want you to know that I will try to be the same to you, although I'm not sure that I can match your effortless beauty and radiance, Noa," he finished, placing his lips on my skin.

I giggled, "You and that silver-tongue, Counselor," I said breathily, turning in his arms, "I love you, Trevor."

"I love you, Noa. More than any words in my vocabulary, more than any law term in any text in this apartment, and more than you know," he said with a smile, leaning forward to capture my lips within his.

It didn't take long after to have our bodies pressed together, slowly divesting the other, and ridding our bodies of any item of clothing in the way. It was different, we took our time, we explored known skin, and discovered new one with our hands and lips. He tasted different, he felt different; it was like I was with a completely different man. He felt different inside me too; all his thrusts meant something differently… it felt like an entire new experience. The way we loved each other, the way we were touching on each other, the tandem of our lips and teeth against our skin, the love in our eyes…

He had brought me to that edge and had pushed me mercilessly just to catch me in my free-fall more times than I could count. His pleasure had been my mission too and though he had begged for me to stop my manipulations in order to prolong this encounter, I was ready to have him collapse on my body, I was ready to feel him cling to life by way of my body only to have him die and slowly return to just as my hands would linger and roam his back.

He was standing behind me, his front to my back, and I was standing on my knees on his bed. His cock slid through my folds, my right hand at his nape, and my left one on the arm that surrounded my waist. His right hand was at my decorated nipple, holding my body in place; it served as an anchor to this life, to this moment; just like his served me the same.

He professed his love, he whispered sweet nonsense, and he growled such filth into my ear that just the thought of attempting to put one and two together was too much to bear, but this were us. Trevor and Noa, two souls made out of love, nonsense, and filth—currently—drenched in sweat and desire, and filled with hope.

This was love.

This was our love.

We were making it.

We were reveling in it.

We were healing in it.

Love: pure, blissful, lovingly love.

* * *

 **A/N:** I'm excited for the next chapter and I cannot wait for you guys to read it. I'll probably post it some time during this weekend, so be on the lookout for that. I hope you enjoy this installment and let me know your thoughts! Thank you ;)


	22. Heaping Mess

**WARNING:** Mature content ahead. Sexual language and acts at play.

* * *

 _ **Heaping Mess**_

"Trevor and chocolate," I mused as I licked residual chocolate from Trevor's lip.

He hummed, bringing his hand to the back of my head, pulling me in to crash on his lips in a burning lock. His tongue searched my mouth until he found what he was looking for. I teased him, hiding, and fighting for dominance with my tongue against his. He growled and pulled back, a prominent smirk on his lips, "Stop fighting me," he husked.

I giggled, "What's great satisfaction without a little effort, huh?" I whispered against his mouth, leaning forward to capture his bottom lip between my teeth. Our playful teasing was put to an end when the door rattled with knocks, "Mmm, I'll get it," I said, placing one more kiss on his lips before going to stand.

Trevor stopped me by pulling me back towards him, causing me to fall against his bare chest, "No, let them knock. We're busy," he said, placing a quick kiss on my lips.

The door rattled again, "If we don't get it now, they'll never leave," I offered, "The quicker we answer," I said, hovering over his mouth, flicking my tongue against his bottom lip, "the quicker I can come back and let you have your way with me," I purred.

He chuckled deep and throaty, "Fine," he conceded, placing another kiss to my lips. I stood from the couch, my body clad in one of Trevor's t-shirts, "I love you," he mentioned softly.

I looked over my shoulder on my way to the door, "I love you, too," I responded with a playful grin. He looked so effortless, so relaxed, so unapologetically him on that couch with his legs propped on the coffee table, shirtless, and clad only with college team sweatpants. I fixed my gaze back on the door and smiled, reaching the doorknob and with my other hand making quick work of the locks. Once I swiveled open the door, nothing in the world could've prepared me to face the person on the other side of the threshold. I looked her up and down; she was dressed coolly in her 'mommy-on-the-go' apparel. I could not help the eye roll that followed next. I held the door in place, not allowing her a glance inside the dwelling.

"Baby, who is it?" Trevor called from the living room.

I puffed and opened the door, "Uh, it's your ex," I offered simply, looking back towards the couch. He had the perfect view of the door and who was standing at the other end of it from where we were sitting at initially.

He snapped his head towards the door and turned off the TV, standing, "What the hell are you doing here?"

She looked at me bashfully and I raised my right arm and motioned her to come in. Even though I disliked the woman, I had to give it to her, she _was_ being respectful… for now, "Uh, I'm sorry to interrupt," she cleared her throat as she walked past the kitchen into the open space of the living room, "I t—thought maybe we could talk," she finished, glancing back at me.

I scoffed and began approaching the stairs, "I'll give you two some p—"

"You're not going anywhere, Noa," Trevor interrupted, "Whatever you came to say to me, you can say in front of her. You know I don't like keeping secrets, _Andy_."

"Right," she said breathily, chancing a look back at me.

I moved past her and Trevor to sit at the end of the L-shaped couch in Trevor's living room. As I sat, I brought the blanket that had once been draped over Trevor and I over my legs and torso, remaining quiet, but watching the interaction intently. She took a few shuddering breaths and wrung out her hands, "Trev," she begun.

"Don't call me that. You don't get to call me that anymore," Trevor interrupted.

She nodded and glanced at her shoes, "Trevor," she said, "I know I hurt you and that was wrong of me. I know this apology is nearly four years too late—obviously—but that was never my intention, Trevor. You have to believe me when I say that hurting you was never my intention."

Trevor scoffed, "It doesn't matter if you meant it or not, Miranda. You hurt me," he gesticulated towards his chest.

"I know, I know," she said, moving closer to where Trevor was standing for him to take a step back, "I didn't just cheat: I betrayed your trust, I destroyed your idea of our relationship, and perhaps—I embarrassed you as well," Trevor nodded, unamused, "It was just too fast," she conceded.

Trevor furrowed his brow and took a step forward, "Too fast?" he parroted, "Too fast," she nodded, averting her eyes, "You could've said something! You _knew_ I wasn't going anywhere! I fucking loved you! I went over my parents, my friends, my family… for you and how did you repay me? By sleeping with Otter, my best friend since childhood," he shook his head, lowering his voice, "Why did you do it, Andy?"

She opened and closed her mouth, tears collecting in her eyes and threatening to fall, "We had been dating for less than a year, Trevor, and you proposed and rapidly moved to plan the wedding. A wedding I wasn't sure I even wanted. I—I," she struggled to find her words, "I just needed a day where everything wasn't pink. So that day when you took my phone by mistake, Otter called and when I explained that you had taken my phone instead, he heard the sadness in my voice."

"I asked you," he grumbled, "I asked you every day if you were ok. I asked you if you thought we were moving too fast and what did you respond to me?" she nodded, acknowledging Trevor's question and worried her bottom lip, "You don't put this on me, Miranda. I followed _your_ lead, _your_ pace… and when you refused to open up, I stopped asking because that's what _you_ wanted. So don't stand there in an attempt to deviate and place your guilt on me. You get to carry this cross on your own."

"I'm not saying that, Trevor," she sniffled at Trevor's coldness, "All I'm saying is that he was the one that noticed my internal battle. God," she placed a hand to her forehead, turning slightly and back again, "I felt so guilty. You were perfect, how could I _not_ be excited? How could I _not_ want this amazing man that was willing to nearly lose everything for me? I—I didn't even understand it, but he did," she paused momentarily, eyeing his every move, "Otter did."

Trevor scoffed and propped his arms on the couch, leaning his body against them as he looked down and back up to meet Miranda's hazel gaze, "W—What are you saying, Miranda? That _I_ was insensitive to your feelings?"

She shook her head, "No, the opposite. All I wanted was a few hours for us to be _us_ , Trevor and Miranda—the people, not Trevor and Miranda—the fiancés," she blinked and silent tears escaped her eyes, "We had fun. He took me out drinking, he bought me dinner, and when he brought me back to the apartment, _I_ kissed him. I was the one that threw myself to him."

"Oh, and what? Was he supposed to say no? He fucking baited you, Andy!" Trevor grumbled, flexing his fingers on the back of the couch.

"That may be true, but it felt good. And, that's all I wanted, for one night, _to feel good_. We swore it wouldn't happen anymore, but it did."

"And, you waited two months before the fucking wedding to tell me that you were leaving with him and a couple of months after that you married the guy and a year later you had the girls," Trevor scoffed, "Why are you here? To make sure I don't forget why I could never be happy? Or, to throw in my face that you're _living_ the life _we_ planned with _him_? Or, is this just some sort of sick fix you need before returning to Otter? Huh? Which one is it, Miranda?"

I had never heard Trevor's voice filled with such contempt. After that night at the networking event, where we had ran into my sister and her date as well as into Otter and Miranda, we spoke a little bit more in depth about the pain he felt at the double betrayal his then fiancé and best friend put him through. Otter didn't even have the balls to confront him then and at the event, he had just made it awkward: averting his eyes, fidgeting, not speaking… guilt. He was guilty and he was feeling his guilt, like Trevor had said momentarily, he had built and was carrying his cross and that was on nobody but them both.

I wasn't sure if they had forgotten that I was there or not, but I dare not to interrupt, move, or breathe. This was something that needed to happen in order for Trevor to fully move on. To the naked eye, it may have appeared that he had. He had me now, we had been doing amazing, he had expressed his love for me—in more ways than one—and we were exclusive. But, I knew. Every time he said 'I love you' it hadn't been with his heart and soul, it was with his mind. I didn't doubt that he did love me, in fact, I knew for a fact that Trevor didn't have eyes for anybody else, but his heart and soul were still guarded because of what this woman did to him. Until they could _finally_ dissolve whatever tension they had, his heart would never belong to anyone else.

"Neither," she responded after giving it some thought, "I'm here to tell you that I made a mistake. I never should've left you for Otter. I never should've had kids with Otter, and God, forgive me, I know how that sounds, that's not what I meant. I love those girls with every fiber of my being, but sometimes I wonder, what they would look like if you were their father, Trevor."

Trevor stood up straight, running his hands through his face and spinning. He shook his head and grinned, placing his hands on his hips, "You're unbelievable," he mumbled, "You're fucking unbelievable, you know that?"

"Don't you miss me? Us?" she asked, taking a step forward.

"I used to, but not anymore," Trevor, conceded, "You don't get to hurt me anymore, Miranda. What is it, huh?" Trevor asked; his voice dripping in contempt, "Are—Are you having problems with Otter? Is that what it is?"

"No," she answered softly, "I'm just finally realizing that I left something good in search for something better and now I've realized that I had the best and I was so wrong for that, so awfully wrong for that."

Trevor nodded, "Yes you did and yes you were, but now the best has found something better and I'm not letting it go, Miranda," he mused proudly. His admission caused a red tint to my face and I smiled, feeling my heart swell, "See, that's the difference between you and me, Andy. You knew you had something great in front of you and your capital vices blinded you and caused you to make a mistake. That mistake you made is not one I will make."

She nodded dejectedly, "You'll never love her like you loved me."

Trevor nodded, "You're right, I won't," he admitted. His words sat on my chest and collapsed my lungs. Suddenly I couldn't breathe, I couldn't see, I couldn't hear… I bowed my head and absentmindedly fidgeted with a piece of lint on Trevor's blanket. I thought that was it for him, that that was the admission he needed to make and now, he could finally start healing… alone. I couldn't stay after having heard such admission, it would be too much, but that wasn't it for him, he had more to say, "I love her harder, better, stronger than I ever did you."

Miranda's eyes were quick to fill with fresh found tears. I could tell she wasn't expecting that reply and though I could hear in his voice that he hadn't said those words to break her resolve and wound her, he had said those words because he meant them. As quick as her eyes filled with tears, they were even quicker to fall, "H—How much do you l—love her, Trevor?"

"Don't," he warned, "Just, don't."

"How much?" she grumbled, attempting to keep her composure.

Trevor looked at me and though my eyes were trained on the woman across from me, I could feel his stare on me. So much so that I couldn't help but give him what he wanted, my eyes. He smiled at me with glossy eyes and spoke, never once wavering, "My love for her is immeasurable and that question just puts a limit to it."

He spoke to my bones and it reverberated through my entire being, "Well then," she sniffled, causing Trevor and I to turn our heads towards her. She was walking to the door like a scolded animal, "I'm sorry I hurt you, Trevor," she paused turning around and wiping her face, "You have a great one in your hands, cherish him, Noa. He truly lives and breathes love for you," with that she turned and saw herself out of the apartment.

I waited seconds until I knew she had left the hall that led you to the elevators before standing and running to crash my body with Trevor's. I looped my arms through his neck and hopped to lock my ankles behind his back, bringing my mouth forward to his. He turned us around and slid me down his body, my ass sitting on the backrest of the couch. Our cheeks were sodden together, I could feel his tears against the wet of my own, but neither of us dared to open our eyes and break the lip lock. His hands roamed at the hem of the shirt and we came apart for him to remove it in one swift motion. His hands were quick to find my nipples and as he pinched, my head lulled back in pleasure.

I moaned throatily, "Trev," I mused to the ceiling, wrapping my gams around his waist and pulling him close to my body. We both hissed at the contact of our centers and my nails raked down his shoulder once his mouth made contact with the vibrating flesh of my neck, right on the spot where he knew my resolve would end and it gave no room for me to deny him. I arched my body into him, bringing my hands down and in between our warm bodies to his waistband, looping my fingers on it and pushing down until I knew the pants would fall on their own accord. His growing cock pulsated in my hand and I moaned once more, pumping my hand along his length, "Inside me, Trev," I whispered heavily as my mouth found the flesh of his shoulder and I sunk my teeth on it. Trevor growled and pushed his self away from my body, grabbing his throbbing cock and aligning it with my cunt.

The height of the couch underneath my bottom made for perfect coordination between his member and my slit. I placed my hands at either side of my body, balancing myself as I saw Trevor rub the tip of his cock against my liquid heat, "Unh," I groaned, "Please," he chuckled throatily, relishing in the way my essence made his cock glisten.

He aligned himself with my entrance and pushed slowly, allowing me to take in every pleasurable inch he had to offer. "Jesus, Noa," he growled, feeling the stretch he always provided me, because it didn't matter how many times Trevor took ownership of my body, it didn't matter how many times we became one in a day or a night; my body, my juncture was a glove that gave fit to only him. We were made for each other and every delicious and satiable inch he had belonged inside of me.

His left arm circled my waist and his right hand rested on my nape, bringing my head upwards to meld our lips in a searing kiss. The kiss allowed for my body to adjust to Trevor's girth, but I was greedy. I needed him. I needed to feel the earth shattering, soul crushing, and mind-numbing orgasm I could only reach with him. I tighten my gams around his waist and he rocked his hips, immediately awarding each other moans and groans as I clenched my walls around him, enticingly making him mine. The rock of his hips and the tickle his happy trail provided my bundle of nerves was too much of a tease and my release was so close, I could feel it in my toes, "Faster, Trev, faster! Fuck," I threw my head back as I felt him comply with my wanton request. Every slide, every dip, every nerve, every vein made our arousals seem closer and closer.

"Noa," he groaned and I responded by giving him that bodily press he always seemed to crave by arching my chest into his, "Jesus, FUCK!" I smirked, knowing the angle my pelvis was in, was giving him heightened pleasure as my folds served as added friction.

His moves were erratic, but that's what I needed, "Baby," I moaned, elongating the syllable. He growled like a carnal man in response to our bodies feeling against the other, "Pull out, but not all the way," I coached.

He knew I was seeking both a clitoral and vaginal orgasm and the purr in his moan let me know that he was hell-bent on giving it. He eased his erection out slowly until I hissed once I felt the vein on his shaft come in contact with the enlarged spot inside of me and he knew what to do then. He picked up his pace and groaned every time I flexed and clenched my walls for him. I cursed the ceilings and him for being so great at bringing us pleasure. "Fuck, Noa, I'm close baby," I had been holding my breath at his words because I knew once I allowed for air; I would crumble at his touch. He brought his right hand in between us and rubbed mercilessly at my nub, "Look at me," he growled and I opened my eyes, "tell me you love me," he demanded as he fucked me into oblivion.

"Trev," I moaned.

"Tell me you love me," he repeated.

I looped my arms around his neck, resting my forehead against his, feeling the slickness of our sweaty bodies, "I lov—" he pinched delicately my nub and I gasped loudly, rolling my eyes backwards and climbing on his hips as he growled loudly, emptying his seed inside of me as my orgasm seeped out of me. We were a heaping mess together. I opened my eyes to find his blue stare admiring my face, "I love you, Trevor," I panted, smiling.

"I love you, Noa," he responded, nudging our noses together and gently placing a kiss on my lips.

* * *

 **A/N:** That needed to happen. Now, we finally have closure from Trevor and Miranda. Good times ahead, for now... ;)


	23. ALIA

_**ALIA**_

The offending ring of Trevor's phone was what woke me. Moaning and groaning, I shifted in the man's embrace, mumbling for him to pick up his phone. Of course, the log that he was chose _now_ to ignore his phone. I groaned in frustration and reached over to his bedside table for his phone, "Henshall, why are you calling so early?" I croaked.

" _Noa? D—Did I call you by mistake?_ " the man asked.

I sighed heavily, "No, you called Trevor, but we're sleeping!"

" _Wake his ass up, I have exciting news_ ," he ushered.

I rolled my eyes and sat up, running the fingers of my free hand through Trevor's hair, my thumb resting between his brows, "Baby," I cooed, leaning forward to kiss his lips.

Trevor stirred and his eyes fluttered momentarily, "No," he groaned, looping his arm around my naked torso and pulling me closer, "Let's go back to sleep."

I giggled and shook my head, "Henshall has something to tell you. Apparently, exciting news."

Trevor huffed, "Put him on speaker," he grumbled, turning to lay on his back, his hands running through his face in frustration, "What?" he barked.

" _Don't be an asshole,_ " Henshall begun, " _Have you checked your mail?_ "

Trevor furrowed his brow and looked at me in confusion. I shrugged my shoulders and went to get up from the bed, "Give me a second, Noa is going downstairs now."

I debated whether or not I should dress just to come back and snuggle with Trevor. Deciding against it, I jogged down the stairs, feeling the temperature change against my naked form. I went to the kitchen, where Trevor's housekeeper would gather the mail. I grabbed the stack and begun sifting through it. There were bills, offers for credit cards, and a suspect powder blue envelope with the header of ' _American Lawyer Industry Awards_ '. I smiled and turned to the stairs, quickly climbing them, " _Is she back yet? How long does it take to go downstairs and back?_ " Henshall was badgering the tired man whom I'd bedded.

I chuckled and shook my head, "Stop your whining, she's back," Trevor responded.

I climbed in the bed, bringing the comforter up to cover my body, "Here," I said softly, handing the envelope to Trevor.

He eyed it curiously and tore at the fold, "Henshall, why can't you just tell me what I need to know? I really want to go back to sleep."

" _Just fucking open it, Langan!_ " Henshall replied.

Trevor rolled his eyes, causing me to titter as he unfolded the piece of paper. He read with his brow furrowed, his eyes slowly opening just as his mouth did the same, "No," he said, "You're joking with me, Robert."

Henshall howled and laughed, " _No, I'm not! Trevor, this is what we've been waiting on. Imagine what will happen if we win?_ "

I bit my lip, "Ok, I'm confused."

Trevor picked the phone up from his chest, tapping at the screen to bring it to his ear as he handed me the letter. The letter expressed congratulations to Henshall & Langan for being nominated and entering the finalist list for Best Law Firm of the Year. It followed with instructions of the day of the ceremony gala, attire, and a list of the other firms that had been nominated and entered in the drawing with them. Out of the seven firms, I only recognized two: Henshall & Langan and Kirkland & Ellis. It also stated the criteria that the panel had gone through in order to choose them as finalists.

I turned just in synch with Trevor and we smiled to each other, "Congratulations, baby," I said, grabbing at his chin, "You deserve it," I finished, placing my lips on his twice.

"Thank you, Noa," he responded with a smile.

He finished the call with Henshall briefly afterwards and he turned to rest facing me. I scooted forward, placing my lips to the tip of his nose as I closed my eyes, turning my body to lie belly down, the most comfortable position for me to fall back into slumber. I felt Trevor's lips on my shoulder, peppering kisses to the middle of my back. I smiled and sunk to the bed, blissfully happy for Trevor's successes.

* * *

December fifth had come and come fast. It was the night of the gala and as expected, Trevor had asked me to be his plus one for the night's event. I was outside, in Trevor's patio with Billings, throwing the Frisbee at her to waste some energy before leaving her for the night. I had already finished getting dressed, wearing my burgundy off-the-shoulder floor-length satin gown with ruffled front thigh split and my coat to protect myself against the cold bite of the evening air.

I had left Trevor to dress, roughly twenty-five minutes ago and had asked him to come get me when he was ready to leave. All I had to do now was put my shoes on and release my hair from its pinned locks in order to give my hair that beautiful curl I desired. I threw the Frisbee once more in the air and saw as Billings jumped to grab it with her mouth. She was jogging back to drop the Frisbee at my feet when she bolted past me. I turned just in time to see Trevor raise his hand in order to halt Billings.

Billings stopped and sat, bowing her head to drop the Frisbee, "Good girl," Trevor said, scratching her head.

I approached him slowly, tugging at the lapels of my coat, "Damn," I said, looking at Trevor up and down. He was wearing a burgundy velvet tuxedo jacket with black accents at the lapels—matching my dress—white crisp shirt, black bow tie, and black trousers.

"Am I going to say the same about you?" he asked, raising his brow and smirking.

I bit my lip and closed the gap between us, standing on the balls of my feet, "You'll have to wait until we're there to see the final product, won't you?" I spoke against his lips and when he leaned forward to press his lips against mine, I dropped to my heels, giggling as I side stepped him to gain access to his home.

I heard him growl and mumble something to Billings about me being a tease.

Outside, Trevor had ordered us a car and that could only mean one thing: he was planning on getting trashed, win or lose. I smiled to myself and glanced at the ground, feeling his arm snake through my waist as he motioned me towards the vehicle. It was a quick fifteen-minute drive and once there, the valet was quick to open our door. Automatically, I could see the commotion. It's not like I wasn't privy to the events that happened around the city, I was a PR rep at one point in my life so being around flashing cameras, yelling, and ushering ushers was no problem for me. I placed my feet on the ground and went to unfasten the buttons of my coat when an usher stood by my side, "I can take that for you, miss."

I smiled at the young man and shrugged out off of my coat, handing the garment to the boy and receiving a ticket for it that I quickly shoved in my gold clutch, "Noa," I heard Trevor's breath catch in his throat.

Turning slowly, I smiled, extending my hand for him to grab. He smirked and entertained the idea of walking up hand-in-hand. The photographer stopped us, "Hey, you're Trevor Langan, you're nominated tonight."

Trevor smiled and nodded, his cheeks blushing as he hid his face. I squeezed his hand and leaned closer, "Let's take a picture, to commemorate the night."

He turned to look at me and nodded, directing me towards the marked spot on the ground. Trevor stood and opened his arm for me to stand next to him. I looked up at him and smiled, gaining the same reaction from the man as the camera snapped. We heard appraisal words as the flashes continued. I winked at him, causing him to scoff and turn his face and I did the same, finally giving eye contact to where the men with the cameras were.

We managed to gain access to the inside to a little salon with hors d'oeuvres and personnel circling with glasses of champagne. I snagged two flutes from a passing tray and smiled at the girl, turning to hand Trevor a glass. As he reached for the flute I was offering, our fingers brushed against the other and he leaned to place a kiss on my mouth.

I smiled and raised my flute, "' _The talent of success is nothing more than doing what you can do well; and doing well whatever you do…_ ' –Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. It really warms my heart to see you succeeding like this. Congratulations, baby," I finished, clinking our flutes together and taking a sip.

Trevor sighed contently and swallowed his sip, "And, there's no one else I'd rather share it with than with you, my love. I love you and you look stunning, by the way."

I smiled cheekily and winked at him, "I love you, too," I replied, raising my flute to my mouth and taking another sip.

By then, Robert and Alexis had found us and we were having a decent conversation when one of the hosts emerged from the grand room and welcomed us inside. The mass of people filed in carefully and dispersed to find their assigned seating. The room was beautifully decorated and the music that softly played was comforting and fitting. As we found our table, I noticed six other empty chairs.

The cards in the center of the table read ' _Henshall & Langan_' and ' _Steinwell & Polk_'. I recognized the names from the letter Trevor had shared with me as being one of the other nominees against Trevor's we eyed the program and chatted amongst ourselves, two older gentlemen approached the table and introduced themselves as Richard Steinwell and Kendall Polk whom Robert engaged in conversation almost immediately.

I felt a gruff hand on my shoulder and quickly turned, it was Bayard Ellis, one of the nominees for the same category as Trevor's. Trevor and him immediately engaged in banter after having acknowledged me. I had spoken to him on the phone countless times before and he always seemed like a very nice man. Suddenly, Alexis' hand flew to my arm and squeezed.

I furrowed my brow and looked down at her hand, her knuckles white in comparison to the rest of her ivory complexion, "Jesus, Alexis, what is it?" I said behind a stifled chuckle when I glanced up. Miranda and Otter were approaching the table accompanied by two other women whom I presumed were Steinwell and Polk's wives. I placed my champagne flute on the table and rested my hand atop of Alexis, acknowledging her signal. She turned to give me an apologetic smile and I shook my head, letting her know that everything was going to be ok.

Trevor finished his conversation with Bayard and sat, placing his right hand atop my exposed knee. I turned with a smile and watched as he leaned towards my left ear, when he spoke, I shuddered, "This evening just took an interesting turn so how about a friendly wager?"

I smirked and nodded, feeling the hand on my knee creep upwards towards the hem of the side slit, "If we win the award, you have to strip for me," he spoke lowly in my ear, sending vibrations throughout my entire body.

I bit my lip and lowered my chin, pushing my cheek against his so that I could reach his ear, "And, if you lose?"

I heard the rumble behind his throat, "If I lose, you get to tie me up and have your way with me," he finished his remark gently nibbling at my lobe behind my gold dangle earring.

I sat straighter on the chair, clamping down on my lip to prevent the moan that threatened to escape. He chuckled smugly and placed a kiss to my cheek, clearing his throat before engaging in conversation with the men and women that had just joined our table.

As we waited for dinner to be served, Trevor placed pleasantries first and regarded Otter and Miranda briefly, but as least as possible. You could sense the slight tension on the table when it came to the odd couple. We later found out that Steinwell and Polk planned on making Otter their third partner as he had pulled great revenue in the past quarter, more than they ever imagined.

Trevor would occasionally lower his mouth to my ear to whisper such filth in it just as my hand would travel dangerous paths on his thigh near his groin. Just as his words managed to work me up, my touch would do double the harm as my boldness continued to grow through the night. We all clapped as we heard the nominees for several award categories and subsequently their winners. We laughed with their speeches, we reveled in their silver-tongues, and the ones the boys knew or had had the chance to work with, they would share their stories about them eliciting laughter around our table.

Then came the category we had all been waiting for, "The Best Law Firm of the Year finalists were judged based on several criteria including exceptional client work across a variety of practice areas along with innovation in the business of law, whether it be on firm management, diversity initiatives and/or client service," the host paused as the hall erupted with applause, "Congratulations to our finalists for their exceptional work and dedication! Here are the names of the firms in this category: _Steinwell & Polk_," applause filled the air as the men stood briefly, " _Kirkland & Ellis_," more applause, " _Hogan, Moore & Hamilton_," scattered applause, " _Henshall & Langan_," Trevor and Robert stood and waved as their counterparts had done and smiled coyly.

The host continued naming the rest of the finalists and as Trevor sat, I leaned to rest my forehead against his temple, smiling as I spoke lowly, "You know," I begun, running my right hand up his thigh, "my underwear tonight is the same color as your cheeks," I finished with a giggle and delivering a gentle squeeze near his cock where I could already feel the growing bulge, "If you're lucky, I'll let you gag me with them."

As I finished, Trevor's hand flew to my wrist, preventing me from reaching his inseam and he sighed harshly, "Oh," he groaned, "it's on," he finished, provoking a flirtatious giggle from me as I kissed his cheek.

Trevor's breathing had slowed significantly and if you knew him, like I did, you'd know he was incredibly turned on, "And the winners for Best Law Firm of the Year are…" I reached over and grabbed Trevor's hand, giving it a gentle squeeze, " _Henshall & Langan_!"

My breath caught in my throat and in tandem, we turned, grinning at each other as the hall erupted in applause. We stood and he was quick to have me pushed against his chest, "Congratulations, Trev! I love you," I whispered in his ear, running my hands down his shoulder blades and releasing him quickly. He kissed me quickly twice and side stepped his chair, pulling Robert in his embrace and clapping at his back.

They whispered something inaudible to my ears and laughed as they made their way to the stage. They climbed and greeted the host, grabbing the award and giving a quick speech, they both found their way to the table where the opposing counterpart were and shook their hands and congratulated them. I saw Otter stand and walk behind Henshall and Alexis' chairs and then behind mine to stand to Trevor's left.

Trevor ignored him, leaning forward to smile and wink at me, blowing a kiss to me he leaned back to press his lips against mine, "I love you," he whispered against my lips.

I smiled, lick and bit my lip, "Baby," I said breathily, directing with my eyes towards Otter's form.

He rolled his eyes, but acknowledged the man, mumbling his thanks as he congratulated him. It wasn't long before dessert was served and shortly after, they announced the Lawyer of the Year. Trevor continued to whisper such filth into my ear and with each passing second my body slowly went into overdrive and I couldn't focus on anything surrounding me. Though that could easily be attributed to the alcohol coursing through my veins and the mixture of Trevor's words.

He teased me continually and where I once held the upper hand, he had stripped me bare and he was the one in control at the moment. Fitting, actually, since he _had_ won our 'friendly wager'. I giggled cheekily as Trevor guided me through the hall, mingling with other colleagues. He looked down at me and smirked impishly, biting his lip slowly, "Let's get out of here, I'm ready for my _real_ prize," he whispered in my ear. As he stood straight, I pushed my body against his side and smiled and nodded.

Trevor guided me outside where I handed my coat ticket to the gentleman just as we waited for the SUV to arrive. The warmth that surrounded my shoulders when Trevor placed my coat on me was a welcomed one and again, I pushed into his side, moaning softly as I surrounded my arms around his waist. Trevor groaned favorably and smiled, running his free hand against my cheek. We were both ready to be in the privacy of the apartment, we were looking at each other like we hadn't had a meal in days knowing full well, we had just feasted a couple of hours before.

When the driver dropped us off in front of Trevor's building, I was quick to descend from the SUV and make way to the inside. In front of his door, I fumbled with the keys, blaming it all on the distracting feel of Trevor's lips against my neck and shoulders just as his hand found the exposed flesh of my thigh and pinched enticingly. I dropped they keys twice—no, thrice now and God help me, if it weren't for sheer dedication and focus we would've never found our way to the inside.

As Trevor closed the door, I found my way to Billings' who was perched on the couch with her doggy smile on display. I glanced over my shoulder to Trevor and smiled, slowly making my way to the stairs and up to his room. And, just like the first time, I found my body sandwiched between Trevor and the wall of that first landing. His hands were in my hair and his mouth was on me feverishly.

I moaned as he nipped my neck, arching my back into his pelvis where he drove forward, gaining control of my movements, "I don't want to see you clothed in the next ten minutes," he growled in my near, nibbling it slowly.

* * *

 **A/N:** Just wanted to do something fun for them, since they've been cooped up all this time. Coming next, Christmas and New Years... ;) Review, review, review! Also, what are your thoughts on how Trevor regarded Miranda and Otter?


	24. The Hat Trick

_**The Hat Trick**_

Christmas was near and almost here. You could feel it in the air, you could see it in the streets, you could even notice it in other people and the way their smile would be a little bit brighter and their eyes would glimmer and glisten with joy. Christmas in the city was always a happy time of the year. It was like living in paradise, a winter wonderland.

The first snowfall of the season had happened about a week ago and everyone was hoping and praying for a white Christmas—like every other year. Even Trevor seemed a different person around this time. It was like having a little kid, but I enjoyed it, I loved it. He had changed, for the better and mentally; he seemed to be in a different headspace.

It was the weekend before Christmas and Trevor and I had been invited to Alex's childhood home in the outskirts of Boston, a suburb neighborhood in Framingham. Trevor was spending the night at my apartment in Harlem and we were set out to drive at six in the morning since Alex wanted us to be there by brunch time.

And, just when I thought I had concealed sleep, my body woke me with a bout of nausea and vomit. I rushed to the bathroom, just in time to empty the contents of my stomach in the toilet. I regurgitated a couple of more times before it finally stopped. I stood and walked to the sink, cleansing my mouth of the foul aftertaste of bile. I had been bloated and cramping for the past couple of days, the nausea, and now vomiting showing up only served to pinpoint one culprit: my period. I made sure to double-check and provide protection to my underwear before returning to the bed where Trevor lain quietly asleep.

I noticed the time on my bedside clock and decided to just get ready for the upcoming road trip and try to catch some sleep on the couch and if the nausea or vomiting returned, I was close to the hallway bathroom. On my way to the living room, I stopped by my closet to grab my heating pad. As I stepped out of the closet, Trevor shifted, murmuring my name as he searched the empty side of the bed. Once he noticed I wasn't next to him his eyes shot open, his brow furrowed in confusion, and slowly rising from the bed, "Hey," I said groggily, "I'm right here."

He closed his eyes and groaned, inhaling sharply, "Is it time to wake up, yet?"

I giggled and yawned, "No, not yet. I just had to throw up."

At my admission Trevor sat up quickly, "What?" he grumbled, running his hand through his face, "Noa, what are you saying?"

I chuckled quickly, "Relax, it's my period," I finished, approaching the bed.

He huffed, laying his body back, "You've never thrown up before though," _he's noticed my period symptoms?_ "I mean, nausea, yes, but not full vomiting."

I closed my eyes and sighed, nodding, "Every month is different, babe," Trevor smiled and reached out for me, "I—I'm going to s—" I placed my hands over my mouth quickly and rapidly stood, bolting to my attached bathroom. I made it by the skin of my teeth and hunched over the bowl. I knelt, slowly bringing the rest of my body to sit on the ground as I rested my forehead on my forearm.

I felt Trevor's hand in between my shoulder blades and I lifted my head, smiling weakly, "What do you need, baby?" he asked softly.

I shook my head and inhaled, moving my legs to stand, "To catch some sleep before we have to be up in a couple of hours," I said breathily.

Trevor nodded and held out his hand to me, "I plugged the heating pad for you. Go get settled, I'll bring you a glass of water."

I smiled, wrapping my arms around his waist, closing my eyes and exhaling, "Thank you!"

* * *

Before I knew it, we were just about an hour away from Alex's childhood home. Now that my monthly visitor had shown up, I had to rearrange some of the contents of my personal bag. I always made sure to keep a stock of travel heating pads and I had brought my sloth plush animal that I kept handy, as it was a microwavable heating pad. Trevor found it juvenile and hilarious, but it did its job on those nights where keeping the heating pad on could be a hazard to everyone surrounding me. I was currently wearing two of the stick-on pads and was laughing with Trevor as he told a story of his childhood up in the Cabot home.

Senior and Gigi, after their children had begun marrying off, had decided to celebrate Christmas in much warmer places outside of the United States and wouldn't be back to the city until two weeks after the New Year. But, in the other hand, the Langans had their uncle Bernard and his new girlfriend, Lenore.

"So, wait," I said, briefly turning in my seat, "Alex and her siblings dislike this Lenore person?"

"Ellory and Bennett have no issues with her, it's Alex that dislikes her for no reason at all," Trevor explained behind a smile, "She's met her before, but according to Alex, 'something doesn't sit right with her'."

"Sheesh," I said, inhaling air through my teeth, "I mean, I get it. My sister made my mother's boyfriend's life miserable too when she was younger."

"Keyword: younger, Noa. Alex is in her mid-thirties, married, and with a daughter. She's happy, why shouldn't uncle Ben be too?"

I shook my head and smiled, "It's different, Trev. You're talking about a girl and her father, no one is _ever_ going to be good enough for her dad."

"That's bullshit," he said with laughter.

I parted my mouth and grinned, "All right, let's do an experiment here, shall we?" I challenged, watching Trevor purse his lips and nod, "Let's say your son comes over to you and tells you, 'Daddy, I have a girlfriend,' what will your response be?"

Trevor hummed and smiled, "I'll be proud and I'll ask questions about her, teach him about consent, have ' _the_ _talk'_ , etcetera."

I nodded, "Ok, let's say it's your daughter now that comes to you and tells you she has a boyfriend, what will your response be?"

"Hell no, not in a mil—"

"Oh," I interrupted quickly with a smirk on my lips.

Trevor turned his face to look at my amusement and chuckled, "I hate it when you're right."

I laughed loudly, "How do those words taste coming out of your mouth?"

Trevor scoffed, "Like vinegar, but I get what you're saying. I just feel she's being too harsh on Lenore. Lex hasn't given her the chance to be herself."

"Well," I begun, "guide her through. You know how important it is to move on and how it feels to be happy after the loss of someone you've loved," Trevor looked at me, perplexed, "I know it's not the same, I know, but don't think about it so literally, just… follow the facts."

Trevor was silent and I feared I had crossed a line that I never knew was placed, but then he smiled and nodded, "Hmm, I will," he mentioned simply, "Thank you, baby."

I smiled and reached for the hand atop my knee, "It's my pleasure."

It wasn't long after that that we arrived at the beautiful home of the Cabot's. It was huge to say the least and it sat on three and a half acres of land. So, no, I didn't know the wealth behind the blonde woman nor did I ever thought of asking. It's not exactly something you ask when you're getting to know someone. And, Alex did have her expensive taste, but what attorney doesn't?

Trevor snickered as I stood in front of the home, taking everything in. He had our bags slung on his shoulders whilst I carried the shopping bags with the presents and my backpack. He nudged my shoulder and used his head to signal the house. I nodded frantically and shivered once I realized that we were standing outside in below freezing weather. Once inside the home, I took in everything; from the marble floors, to the mahogany wood accents, quartz countertops, and quaint décor. I was in awe of everything surrounding me and it wasn't until I felt a slim hand on my shoulder that I was able to snap out of my trance.

"Alex," I breathed out, "Hi!"

Alex guffawed and shook her head, "I'll ask you again, how are you?"

"Oh, I'm sorry," I said, leaning forward to hug the blonde woman, "In pain, but I'll live."

Alex held me at arm's length, "Why are you in pain?"

"My period is killing me this month," I conceded.

She parted her mouth in a silent 'o' and nodded, "Leave everything here, Fred will put everything in Trevor's room."

I pushed my head back in shock, "Trevor has a room here?"

"Yea," he said, returning from somewhere, "Tilly, Tommy, and I all lived with uncle Ben when we were attending Harvard. It's literally a twenty-five minute drive from here. After Tilly and Tommy graduated they moved back to the city, but I was here just as long as Alex was. I did my Bachelors and my Masters here, like Alex. We didn't move back to the city until we were nearing our thirties."

"Casey and I met at Harvard on my last year, she was seeing someone at that time and it ended up not working out, but we rekindled in the city and now we're married with an almost six-year-old. Daddy decided to turn Bennett's room into the kid's room once we had Emily since he lives in Boston now and Ellory's room serves as the guest room now," she continued for Trevor.

"Wow," was all that I could muster to say when a screeching Emily and Zachary emerged with Casey and Ramona.

They all ran to their uncle and he roughed them up as he did whilst the women took turns in hugging me. Alex and Casey gave me a tour of the house whilst Trevor entertained the kids downstairs before having to leave to get Tommy from the airport whom was coming in from a business trip, "Who's all going to be here, babe," Casey begun as we exited the theatre room.

"Tilly and Oscar are overseas as every other year, so they're not coming; Ellory and Bennett should be here soon; and Trevor is picking up Tommy soon, so we're almost all here," she finished with a smile.

" _Ola!_ _Ola!_ "

"W—Who's Ola?" I asked, knitting my brows.

Casey snickered and quickly stepped to my side, "It's a Polish nickname for Alexandra. She hates it, but her parents refused to stop calling her that."

Alex rolled her eyes and crossed her arms at her chest, "My mother was from Polish descent, and I don't hate it," she bit at Casey, "I just don't understand why he has to yell it," she said sighing, "Daddy, I'm coming!"

Casey and I chuckled mischievously, receiving a glare from the blue-eyed beauty in front of us. Trevor and the older man were wrapped in an embrace as the kids ate joyously from atop the countertop. Trevor introduced me to the man who was quick to wrap me in his embrace and then whispered something about a conversation after our game outside. At the mention of said game, everybody, including the adults were filled with excitement and joy, but not before it all when up in flames when Bernard mentioned Lenore and her prompt arrival. Alex's face turned sour and I shot a pointed look towards Trevor, who was doing his best to hide his face from the surrounding members.

Casey was able to dissipate the lingering tension and fallen mood and excused herself and her wife from the kitchen. Ramona and I retired to the family room, where the Christmas tree and fireplace were the main pieces of focus. We were able to have a conversation, one that we hadn't had since the dispute on the day of my birthday. It felt good to be able to express those feelings to someone other than Casey and Trevor, whom had been lingering shoulders and ears to express my feelings towards my mother and her obsession with my body. Not long after, Lenore was introduced to me as well as Ellory and her boyfriend Blake and their two-year-old son, Cameron. Bennett and his wife, Lori were introduced to me as well and afterwards, we all waited for Trevor's return with Tommy in order to begin with our brunch plans.

Brunch had been refreshing. It had been a long time since I felt at home and at peace during the holidays. After my father's passing, Christmas just seemed grim. There was no point in returning to the city, so I stayed in Spain, usually hopping from Christmas party to Christmas party in search for the strongest wine or the most scorching spirit. I had destructed myself during a period of time that should be one of healing, growth, and forgiveness. But, how could I forgive when it was during this time that I lost the only person that I felt was in my corner in life. I was nowhere near my point of healing and growth, but through the years, I've reached it.

This was it.

I smiled to myself and lowered my stare to my lap, biting my lip to hide my growing grin when I felt Alex and Trevor stand from the table. They disappeared for a while and when they returned, Alex looked like she'd been crying and so did Trevor, though no one was bold enough to ask what had just happened, I had an idea when I felt Trevor kneel next to my chair.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

I shrugged playfully and smiled, "Still cramping and still very much nauseous, but I want to play this hat game no one stops talking about."

Trevor smiled and reached my lips to place a quick kiss, "I love you," he said, moving his lips to place them on my nose.

I scrunched my nose and giggled, "I love you, too."

He stood and clapped his hands, rubbing his palms together, "Who's ready for the Hat Trick Game?"

Everybody boisterously answered, quickly standing and shifting quickly to find their coats, boots, and gloves. The kids were outside before any adult had the chance to make it to the backyard. As we all stood in the snow covered yard of the Cabot home, Bernard begun speaking, "Now, this year we have two newcomers that don't know the tradition and what it means to win this game," he begun with a smile, "Uh, kids, care to explain the rules to Noa and Lenore?"

Emily screeched and spoke first, "We build a snowman first, but we don't put the hat on. We play in teams and you throw the hat like this," she said, bending forward to grab the hat and tossed it like a Frisbee, giggling to herself as Alex jogged across the way to grab the hat.

"Whichever team lands the hat on the snowman first, gets to open a present each on Christmas Eve and they're the first to open a gift on Christmas Day," continued Casey.

I nodded and smiled, "So, how do you this?" I mentioned with my hands.

"Girls against boys against uncle Ben," Trevor responded, looking down at me.

"Oh, it's on," I responded, smirking.

We all dispersed into our teams, eight girls, six boys, and Bernard. It had been let known that if Bernard won, no presents would be opened on the Eve and he would open the first one on Christmas Day. As we were all building and rolling snow for our respective snowmen, Trevor and I kept chancing glances over at each other. We would briefly escape our teams to sneak kisses here and there whilst we were still friendly competitors. I marveled at the sight of him with Zach and Cameron, being there for his nephews and niece was truly one of Trevor's highlights and something that he was immensely proud of.

Once our snowmen were completed, the only finishing touch was to add the hat. We would start off near the snowman and every minute or so, Lenore had volunteer to keep track of the time for everybody, we would have to move further back. The air was filled with laughter and cheer. You could hear the kids shouting, husbands attempting to sabotage their wives, Alex running over to her dad to steal his hat, Ellory tickling her son to prevent him from throwing the hat, Trevor hoisting me over his shoulder and carrying me away for me to lose my turn at tossing the hat to the snowman, and Tommy jumping in front of our hat to block it from reaching the snowman.

All in all, our early afternoon was filled with snow, cold, and giggles as we all sabotaged each other in the game. Ultimately, the girls and the boys were too distracted with the snowball fight that had broken out when Bernard shouted his victory. The kids seemed rather disappointed, but not entirely as they had had their fun in the snow.

We all ended up placing our hats on our snowmen and headed inside when I decided to linger out back longer. I was sat on the stoop of the back porch of the Cabot home. The mixture of the cold and the central heat accumulated in my groin area served to alleviate my continuous cramps. I looked onward at the snowmen and their crookedness and smiled: a snowmen family. I chuckled and shook my head, propping my left leg against my body when the welcomed warmth of a body startled me. I turned on my waist and looked up, smiling up at Trevor as he sat behind me, handing me one of the mugs in his hands. I hummed in appreciation and leaned against his chest, feeling his free arm wrap around my midsection, "What's on your mind, baby?"

I smiled and brought the mug to my lips, letting the scalding liquid burn my tongue briefly, "I haven't been this happy during the holidays in quite some time," I mused, turning my head to glance at Trevor.

He looked down at me and smiled, bringing his lips to mine, "So, you _are_ happy being here with me then?"

I nodded, staring into his eyes, "There's nowhere I'd rather be."

* * *

 **A/N:** Just a filler chapter to transition into the upcoming drama. I promise it will pick up soon with the drama and the heartache. :) Review!


	25. Here Comes Santa Claus

_**Here Comes Santa Claus**_

I was asleep on the couch on Trevor's chest when the squeals of Emily woke me, "IT'S CHRISTMAS!" she yelled loudly, clutching at her shirt.

I smiled as I fluttered my eyes open. Of course Trevor lain asleep still. I chuckled as I moved to sit, "Em, where are Mommy and Mama?" I croaked.

"They're sleeping, still," she answered, running her hands through her face, ridding her cheeks of strands of hair.

I nodded and yawned, running my hands through Trevor's chest, "Trev," I cooed softly, "Trev, baby, wake up," I leaned and placed a kiss to his jaw, feeling him inhale sharply as he ran his fingers through his face.

"Uncle Trev, wake up, wake up, wake up," Emily chanted as she bounced on her feet.

Trevor smiled and chuckled, "I remembered when I had that much energy in the mornings," he mused, his voice dripping in the morning sleep grogginess.

I shuddered and ran my hands down his torso, "You mean, whenever you _would_ wake," I quipped.

He chuckled and opened his arm for Emily to settle near his side, "Go get the others, Em. Start with grandpa."

Emily nodded enthusiastically and disappeared behind the couch. Trevor shifted and sat up, pulling me with him so that we could sit, "You know, I have a great bed upstairs and we chose to sleep on a couch," he said.

I shrugged and smiled, moving to retrieve my sloth plush heating pad, "You were the one that wanted to cuddle near the fireplace."

Trevor leaned to claim my lips in a slow and burning lock. I felt his hands on my neck and I sunk in to the kiss, pulling him towards my mouth, craving and wanting more out of him. The fall was bliss, our tongues lapped at the other, and I could feel our bodies slowly reacting to our manipulations. I hissed when I felt his incisors clamp on my bottom lip, my hand closing in a fist to ball his hair at the back of his head, gently tugging to have him release my lip.

He chuckled and dragged his teeth, my body tingling at the feel of pain and pleasure caused by this man. We were eager to continue with our loving, but the chatter that came from behind us made us stop. We laughed and I heard him growl in frustration. I ran my hand down his face and sighed, leaning my temple to his mouth. He wrapped me in his arms and urged me to his chest.

"You two better stop all that," we heard Alex's voice, "You don't want Daddy to tell Noa here how he caught you with Diana Revere, on this very couch," Alex finished, leaning over the back of the couch, kissing Trevor's cheek.

I arched my brow and smirked, seeing Trevor blush and tug at his t-shirt and that's when I knew, Trevor was trying to hide his desire for me and I giggled as I climbed his lap, sitting sideways as to not raise suspicion, "Thank you," he whispered against my shoulder.

I nodded and smiled, watching as the family gathered around the Christmas tree. Everybody felt light and airy, the kids were sporting big smiles, and the parents were equally as excited as the kids to see them open up the presents that they had brought for their offspring. As agreed, Bernard was the first one to open a present in this calm morning. He asked for the help of his son who reached underneath the tree and handed a gift to the elder Cabot, saying it was from Alex and Casey. He quickly made work of the wrapping and thanked his daughter and daughter-in-law for his gift. Afterwards, Bennett made work of passing and handing gifts to everybody.

We laughed and made jokes about some of the gifts that were given by the spouses and siblings around us. Most of them held inside jokes and they would laugh and blush and hide their faces when they finally unraveled the gift. Some wouldn't finish unraveling it or present it to the rest of the family due to the sexual undertones that they held. After everybody had opened their gifts for each other and the kids had tired themselves with their toys and some of the adults had gathered the wrapping paper to trash it, Trevor and I still sat comfortably within our little bubble when he leaned in towards my ear, "I've got your presents upstairs in the room, want to go up?"

I tucked my hair behind my ear and nodded. Trevor and I hadn't agreed on gifting each other anything, but I _had_ bought him several some things unbeknownst to him that I too was keeping upstairs in his room. I stood from his lap and ran my fingers through my hair, yawning in the process. Casey shot me a knowing look and I smiled and shook my head, waiting for the man to stand. We made our way upstairs and quickly ducked into his room. We went our separate ways briefly in search for our gifts to each other and reconvened on the bed, "Do you want to go first?" I asked.

"Uh, sure," he said, rubbing at his neck, a slight blush to his face, "Open this one first," he said, handing me a large square box.

I looked up at him and smirked, tearing at the paper to the reveal a beautiful fifteen-count sunglasses organizer. I gasped and smiled, "Are you trying to tell me something, Counselor?" I asked with an arched brow.

He laughed and shook his head, "I've seen your sunglasses drawer. This will help you keep them organized and you can always put your most expensive ones in here and leave the others roaming free."

I nodded and bit my lip, "Thank you, baby," I said, leaning in for a kiss, "I love it."

"Good," he said, releasing a breath of air I don't think he knew he was holding. He handed me the next box, which had some weight to it, "I know I just got you one of these for your birthday, but it _is_ different. And, I think you'll like it," he finished, husking his last sentence.

I tore at the paper, curious to find exactly what he was talking about. Once the paper was gone, I revealed a Movado watch box and inside was the women's replica of Trevor's navy watch. You know, the watch he wore when he finger fucked me in his office. I looked at him through my lashes and slowly bit my lip, feeling my insides tighten, "I think someone's looking for a favor," I mentioned cheekily.

Trevor smirked and shrugged, "I don't know what you're talking about," he chuckled, handing me the next and final box. It was small compared to the rest of the gifts from him, but I wasn't complaining. I had already had a bountiful Christmas thanks to him, "Now these, I need you to wear you hair away from your face tonight so that you can wear them."

I crinkled my nose and went to tear at the paper, revealing a cream jewelry box. I looked at him, smiling and opened the box, revealing a set of two-carat diamond studs. I gasped, bringing my hand to my mouth, "Trev, these are beautiful," I said breathily, fawning over the diamonds that stared back at me.

"You like them?"

"Like them?" I parroted, "They're beautiful, I love them!" I finished, closing the box and moving to stand on my knees, wrapping my arms around his neck, and bringing my lips towards his. I kissed him with purpose and fervor. I was more than thankful for everything he had gifted me and if my words weren't convincing enough, I hoped that our kiss was.

He broke the kiss by leaning his forehead against mine, breathing softly, "Not that I don't want to this to continue, but I want to see what Santa brought me."

I giggled and kissed his lips once more before sitting back on the bed. I grabbed the medium sized box and handed it to him, "Something practical that you could use on a daily basis."

He hummed and raised his brows, tearing at the paper like a little kid, he read the letters on the lid of the box, "Tie bar," he finished, sliding the little tab to reveal the contents of the box. The box contained three pocket squares, four neckties, two pairs of happy socks, two tie bars, and a pair of collar stays, "Baby," he said, running his fingers over the fabric of the ties, "d—did you pick these?"

I nodded, "Sure did! I'm tired of seeing you _only_ in black or navy ties, so I added a little bit of color. I still kept you in the navy spectrum, but now you have grey, red, and light blue accents."

He looped his hand behind my neck and pulled me close, "God, I love you," he whispered against my lips before tenderly placing his lips against mine two times before biting my bottom lip, and smiling.

I giggled coquettishly and handed him the next box. Like him, it was smaller than the present he had just opened, but I knew he would love the contents, "Here, maybe with these, you can stop wearing mine," I finished with a wink.

His brow furrowed and he tore at the paper, "No," he gasped, quickly opening the box to reveal his own pair of Ray-Ban's Clubmaster sunglasses, "You didn't!"

"I did," I mentioned, tittering at his amused face, "You look great in mine, but you're stretching them out. I had to tighten them last time you wore them."

"This is my favorite gift this year thus far," he mentioned, placing the sunglasses back in their case and placing them on the bedside table.

"Don't claim victory just yet," I finished, handing him the last box. It was incredibly heavy, but it was something I noticed he needed.

He immediately went to work at the paper to reveal a box that led to no prompt. He opened the box and inside was a beautiful wood watch box with a glass window. He kept all of his watches in the original box, the ones he wore the most were spread across his bathroom vanity and the others were in his drawer, "Noa," he whispered.

"I know you have more than what that box holds, but you can keep the ones you wear the most in there. It matches your bathroom colors and it looks better than having a million single boxes spread all over," I finished, rolling my eyes.

"Thank you, baby. It's amazing, I love it."

I smiled and nodded, "You're welcome, Trev. Merry Christmas!"

"Merry Christmas to you too!" he answered with a smile.

We both moved out of the bed to hug each other and went to place the gifts away as well as clean up the little mess we had made with the wrapping paper. As we're cleaning we heard a knock on the door: it was Alex and Thomas, coming to check on us since we disappeared without leaving trace. They bickered at us on how we chose to do our gift exchange before we even had the chance to explain that neither one of us were planning on receiving gifts from the other and that we both thought that just in case that were the case, that it was best to do so away from the family to avoid any looks. They prodded us with questions and pushed us to show them our gifts.

Alex fell in love with my diamond earrings and Tommy with Trevor's watch box. They left after we had shown them our gifts and Trevor and I climbed the bed and underneath the covers. Usually, I was the one on top of Trevor's chest, but in this slow morning, he was the one that wanted to be in my arms, and I was more than happy to oblige the man that I loved. I was sitting up slightly and Trevor was accommodated between my legs, resting half of his body on top of mine. I ran my fingers through his hair and his hands, played with my back, "Do you ever think about having a family, Noa?"

I smiled at his inquiry and laid my head against the headboard, "I do; I think every little girl thinks about it at some point in her life."

Trevor hummed, "What does your family look like?"

I tittered softly, "I don't know, a good for nothing husband and defiant kids."

Trevor laughed loudly, "Usually it's the opposite."

"You know how you're supposed to hope for the best and prepare for the worst?" I felt Trevor nod against my chest, "Well, I like to hope for the worst and receive what comes."

"Good philosophy to live by," he quipped. There was a slight pause before he continued, "You said 'kids'; how many would you like?"

I hummed and raked my nails through his scalp, receiving an appreciative hum in response from Trevor, "Three or four, and I would love it if they were all boys. Maybe one girl, though."

"We got a lot of work to do," he mused.

"It's not like we haven't been practicing," I smirked, "And, what makes you think I want your sassy ass genes?"

At this, he laughed heartily, "Our kids would be so good looking it won't even be funny. Maybe I should buy a gun…"

"No, no guns, Trevor Langan. Besides, I said I wanted boys."

"You said, maybe one girl too, Noa! If my daughter is anything like her mother," he sighed, "You know what, I'm getting upset and this was supposed to be a hypothetical question."

I giggled, shaking my head, "What _about_ your daughter's mother?"

He sighed once more, "Maybe a small handgun," he said, causing me to chuckle, "It can be a BB gun and I'll just tell them it's real. They won't even know."

"No guns if I'm around," I mentioned sternly, "Plus, if my sons are anything like their father, I might have to teach my daughter how to glare effectively."

"Again, if my daughter is anything like her mother, that won't be necessary."

Silence fell upon us and I feared that Trevor had fallen asleep when he spoke again, "You would really want to have kids with me?"

I smiled and ran my hands down his back, "Of course, I've seen you with your niece and nephews. And, I've seen you with Henshall's kids too. You'll be a great dad, Trevor. Just know, though, three Trevor Langans are more than enough. Elijah though, I can settle for that as a middle name, but that's it."

Trevor turned his head to rest his chin on my sternum, "The father is the one that fills out the birth certificate," he finished with a smirk.

"If I don't sign it, it's not valid."

Trevor chuckled, "You've picked up a lot working at the firm," he mentioned, letting his blue stare linger on my face.

"What can I say, I have an annoying boss," I finished with a shrug.

Trevor rolled his eyes and turned his head once more to rest on my chest, "Whatever, you love me."

"With all my heart," I said matter-of-factly.

I continued to rub my hands through his hair until I heard the depth of his breathing. I smiled and shook my head, reveling in the comfort he must've felt to fall asleep in this position. I didn't complain though, Trevor's body heat served as a heating comfort to my constant cramping and while my lover slept in my arms I pondered on our life together up to this point. The fights that we'd had, that one month break we ended up taking after I could tell he still had feelings for Miranda, our dates, the way he had protected me against Milo, and then I thought about how he had comforted me when I couldn't hold on any longer after my sister's phone call.

That trip to Poughkeepsie had placed a lot of things in perspective for me. I realized then that I might had developing feelings for the man, but it wasn't until he whispered such beautiful things, such comfort into my ear, and the way he gingerly placed his lips against my forehead that I was actually able to acknowledge them. And, why was that? Because I had lived under the impression that no man, no man that looked like Trevor, would ever give me the time of day. Men like that only searched for the perfect women with the perfect bodies and the perfect everything.

Women like Miranda, like Katarina, like my sister… I just didn't fit the description and I dug a hole in my soul and buried all the emotions down, but he was set on digging them out. Every secret, all the insecurities, doubts of self-worthiness he had revealed and vanished for good. He proved that to me by loving me, by showing me that I was more than worthy to walk in his arm and despite what every one surrounding him might think, his sentiments towards me were the ones that mattered in the end.

And, now he spoke of a family of possibly having children with me, and my heart soared. What better Christmas present than the knowledge that your lover wants and sees a future with you. Not some hypothetical future, a real one, one we 'risked' every time we lain in bed together. Every time we bedded each other, the possibility of children was a true one. We were being careless, none of us protecting each other against pregnancy, and though the question had been in the back of my mind recently, it was never discussed or brought up; until now. Or maybe that was my interpretation of discussing said topic, but nonetheless, the subject of kids had been brushed, and for now, that was more than enough for me.

I smiled and closed my eyes, letting my thoughts slowly lull me to sleep, the memory of that thought under the Poughkeepsie sky lingering in the back of my mind. Only this time, it seemed more real. I could smell our child's shampoo, I could taste the passion behind Trevor's kiss, I could feel the warm grass underneath my hands, and most importantly, I could bask in the love that my child and Trevor offered me.

That's how I concealed sleep: in love, with love, and blissfully content.

* * *

 **A/N:** I have nothing to say other than, I apologize beforehand for how messy and wrong everything is about to turn into. But, again, I promise they will be ok in the end. Just trust me. Let me know what you think will happen ;)


	26. Displacement

**WARNING:** Sexual language and acts ahead. Mentions of violence and sexual assault at play.

* * *

 _ **Displacement**_

What is it that one does when a new year approaches? Plan ahead, set boundaries, create lists, set goals; we _displace_. We take our lives, for the past year, and move them, begin shaping them for the New Year in hopes of becoming a better version of us. It's a tradition, almost expected of us to do so, and in some way or other, it brings us comfort to know that whatever we didn't or couldn't accomplish in the year that comes to an end we could do so in the new one that enters.

It shapes us, damn near defines us, and for the first quarter of the year we work hard. We try and put our goals first, try and be better human beings to others, to our bodies, to our egos, but after a while we begin to realize that this minor reset button really isn't going to change who we are. Because in the deepest fiber of our being we know the _real_ us; we've only been with each other for our entire existence in this Earth, but we are humans, built on hope and perseverance.

I, one to partake in the yearly resolutions and working hard to achieve them, decided that this year was going to be the happiest yet, next to Trevor, to loved ones; and, I wasn't allowing for nothing or anyone to bring sorrow to my happiness. That's what I decided as I added the finishing touches to my ensemble for the night. I had been invited to a New Year's party that had been planned, coordinated, and produced by one of my college friends. He had dropped the biggest names in the field from businessmen and women to politicians, entrepreneurs, judges, socialites, and other prominent people were going to be there. It served as a networking event of sorts as well as a celebration as another year of opportunities, hardships, and growing came forth. The event was being held somewhere in SoHo and Trevor and I had agreed to meet there.

He had fought me tooth and nail, but I had managed to convince him to just let the fantasy of the night ride out. The only reason I had managed to convince him was that in order to get to me, he had to cross from the East Village to Harlem during the New Year's celebration in Times Square. And, though, I was sure he could find alternate routing, traveling back and forth was going to be a royal pain and I'd rather spend that time with him in his home rather than stuck waiting in traffic for long periods of time.

He had picked up Billings yesterday and had taken her to his apartment so that she would be in a bigger space in case her PTSD with the fireworks came through. I was wearing a black sequined gown, with open back and an enticingly low V-neck. It was a statement piece that hugged every curve on my body and the only accessories adorning my body were the delicate rings on my fingers and a choker necklace.

I was wearing the diamond studs Trevor had gifted me over Christmas and my hair flowed beautifully down my face. That's how I would bid farewell to this year and bring forth the new one, open to any possibility or opportunity that came my way. My makeup was light and my lips were a beautiful nude shade suited for my skin tone. I

t was cold, ridiculously cold, but I was thankful that the snow had stopped. I gathered my long pea coat and my round clutch and saw my way out of my apartment and into the car that I had arranged for the night. The streets were filled and busy, everybody attempting to make it in time in order to stand and be entertained at Times Square for the night. I smiled to myself and when I finally arrived to my destination, the driver had to leave me a block away due to access issues.

Trevor insisted on waiting for me outside, once he knew I was nearby, and as I stepped out of the car, I opened my pea coat. I wasn't wearing this neckline cut just for fun, oh no. This was a show, for him, for the man that had stolen my heart, the man that time and time again had made me feel like the most incredible woman on this Earth.

Despite of what my mother said about my body, despite of what I saw in his exes, despite of what others thought when they saw me on his arm; he made me feel like no other woman mattered. I was his, until he tired of me, and he wasn't tired of me. I prayed that the sentiment lingered within him until we were old and grey because Trevor Elijah Langan III was _it_ for me. No other man could ever compare to him, in every sense of the word.

He had ruined other men for me.

"Hey there stranger," I purred as I saw his form in front of the venue, his hands were pushed deep within the pockets of his coat, and his shoulders sat high on his neck.

He turned and did a double take, "Fuck me," he mentioned, smirking, and grinning, "Damn!"

I giggled coquettishly as I reached him, biting on my bottom lip, and looking at him through my lashes, "I already _did_ fuck you, Langan. A lot of times, actually," I mentioned, cocking my head in amusement.

He circled his arms around my waist and pulled me tight against his body with a growl, "I don't know if I should never leave your side tonight or walk behind you to show all of them inside that you're with me," he chuckled.

"Jealous much?"

"Oh, baby, you have no idea," he mentioned, leaning forward and claiming my lips. The wind blew and my smile broke our kiss, love; love was carried in the breeze tonight and I felt it when I shuddered, "Come on, let's get you inside."

He grabbed my hand and guided me to the inside. We checked our coats and when I divested that he took the opportunity to see my naked back and that incredibly low ending of the fabric at the base of my spine, his breathing changed, "You do this on purpose, don't you?" he husked in my ear.

I giggled and raised my head to catch that scorching blue stare that little by little became dark, "What ever do you mean, Counselor?"

Trevor chuckled low in his throat and shook his head, letting the hand that rested at the small of my back linger to my ass where he delivered a squeeze, "You're not wearing any underwear, are you?"

I gasped softly and grinned, "This dress prohibits it. It was in the instructions," I finished, shooting a wink to him as I walked towards the elevators.

Trevor could only chuckle and stay rooted to his spot before I stopped and nodded my head in the direction of the elevator, only then he moved. Thank God for a partially crowded elevator, otherwise, God knows what would've happed in our endeavor to the top floor. I knew I was teasing him and I did it with all of the intension of the world. I loved seeing him so flustered and fumbling over his words. He immediately whisked us away towards the bar and ordered for the both of us. I thanked him with a kiss to his lips and we began letting ourselves be seen. Stares lingered over my body and women gawked at Trevor. I knew he was a handsome man, he didn't know it, but I certainly did. Especially when I would walk a few steps in front or behind him and they would approach him, laying hands on his chest, and squealing in contentment at his presence.

Which was exactly what was happening at the moment. A leggy brunette was clinging to his chest, speaking loudly about how it had been years since they last saw each other. I took a sip out of my glass tumbler and approached them, "Baby," I cooed softly from behind them.

Trevor turned hastily, a smirk on his lips, "Noa," he mentioned simply, "meet Jessica Alvarez, she works at ICC."

The brunette extended her hand and smiled. I stared at Trevor and smirked, extending my hand to the woman, "Baby, got a second? I want you to meet Evan."

" _You_ know Evan Doyle?" she asked with a mock tone.

I nodded simply, "We graduated together from NYU and we interned together as well, h—how do you know him?"

The brunette brought her hand to her chest, searching for words, "Oh, I don't. I just know _of_ him. He obviously does a wonderful job," she said motioning to her surroundings.

I only hummed and trained my vision to the beautiful face of Trevor, "Come on, I also want to show you what I found," I husked devilishly.

Trevor nodded towards Jessica and looped his arm around my waist, leaning down to place his lips on my temple, "I love it when you get jealous."

"Ha!" I said, playfully tapping at his chest, "Don't make a habit of it, I might not be as polite next time."

We continued our banter after effectively finding Evan. He fawned over Trevor and congratulated him on his award. We ran into familiar faces at the party, like several attorneys I had seen around the office and none other than the disgusting face of Milo Kent. As soon as I had noted his presence to Trevor, he had protectively pushed me into his side and provided comfort.

"Noa, Trevor," he mentioned with a smile.

"Milo," Trevor said curtly, "Happy New Year."

Milo nodded and smiled that awful wry smile of his, "Noa, you look hot tonight."

Trevor tightened his arm around my waist and cleared his throat, "I know," I said simply, taking a sip of my drink, "Where's _your_ date?"

"Oh," he said, turning on his waist and motioning around, "somewhere around. Though, I have my eyes on someone else," he finished with a wink.

"Hopefully she has eyes for you too," I smirked.

Milo glared at me and went to speak before Trevor interrupted, "Is Robert here?" he said, looking around, "I haven't seen him, yet."

"No, no he's not. He decided to go to Alexis' family to celebrate New Year's Eve, even though I told him that this is where the fun was at," he finished with a shrug.

Before anything else could be said, a woman approached us, "Milo, come on, let's dance!"

He took a sharp intake of air and gritted his jaw, "You're so rude; can't you see I'm talking?"

I raised my brow and looked at Trevor who only shook his head, "Sounds like a good idea, we'll see you around," Trevor finished, walking behind me to reach my other side and rapidly guiding me away from the man that had the capability of making my stomach churn by just the mention of his name.

Trevor did a magnificent job of soothing me, whispering reassuring words, telling me that it was almost midnight and that I shouldn't let him ruin the last minutes of the year. But, none of that worked. I was too worked up and too tense now to focus and have fun and Trevor found the perfect solution for that, drowning me in his love. I had located a room across the dance floor that was filled with equipment and other miscellaneous stuff and had had my way with the tall man in there. Thank God for the easy assembly and disassembly of my ensemble as it now rested pooled around my midsection whilst Trevor fucked me rapidly from behind.

His mouth bit at the skin of my shoulder just as his hand found way to my decorated nipple. I moaned and yelped for his pleasure, knowing too well what the fall of his name from my lips did to him in this heated frenzy. He loved it, but I loved it more when I got to see that smirk across his face when he would look down and reveled in the way my ass bounced on his pelvis and my cunt slid over his cock.

I could feel the warmth of my skin where he had delivered several slaps to my cheeks and that familiar pull of my sweet release at the brink, "Baby, I'm there," I moaned, bringing my back to his front just as I wrapped my arm around his neck. His fingers found my pleasure button and we both came undone, like a domino ripple effect. My orgasm triggered his and all we could do after that was smile and giggle like teenagers. We both needed that release and now we were in Nirvana.

In order to not raise suspicions, I exited first. Thankful for the accommodating fabric of my gown, I smoothed the fabric on my thighs and reapplied my lipstick, exiting and making way towards the front.

I was standing at the bar, reordering a drink when I felt that cold stare against my back, "Someone was naughty," he spoke softly.

I shuddered and turned, "What the hell do you want, Milo?"

He chuckled and shook his head, "That filthy mouth of yours, Noa. You'd think Trevor _disciplined_ you enough just now."

I tensed at his words. D—Did Milo heard us having sex over the loud music and collective chatter or worse; did he _witness_ us having sex? "Trevor is _not_ my father, he needs not to discipline me."

He brought his hand to his mouth, tugging at his lip, "How's that ass cheek feeling then?"

All of a sudden the air was sucked out of the room and I couldn't breathe any longer. I felt the bile rise in my stomach and I bolted from where I stood, quickly disappearing through the crowd and finding a nearby trash can outside of the area where the people were starting to gather for the awaiting countdown. I heaved and felt the threat of tears rise; Milo had spied on us whilst we had sex. Of course it could've happened with anyone, but why did it have to be him? Why couldn't it have been a random stranger? I shook my head and whimpered, clutching at my stomach as if the act alone could assuage my nausea. I stood straight and walked to the elevators, fresh air is what I needed, maybe then I could have the strength of walking back in there and slapping the smug grin out of Milo's face.

I stood outside in the biting cold, exposed, and at risk of catching pneumonia if I wasn't careful. My back was to the building and I was the only one outside as all the workers had been assembled inside for the countdown. I felt arms surrounding my waist and a sturdy body behind me, thinking it was Trevor, I leaned against it and I noticed, the height wasn't right. In haste, I clawed at the jacket covered arms until they released me and once I turned, I saw Milo's sadistic grin, "Oh don't be shy now, Noa," he begun, walking towards me, "Why don't you, uh, why don't you moan for me like you were moaning for Trevor, huh?"

I scoffed and raised my hand to deliver a powerful slap across his face, "You're a fucking pig, Milo. I will _never_ moan for you, you disgust me!" I finished with a growl.

He lunged at me, but not before returning the slap, "You fucking little tease," he grumbled clawing at my dress, the straps at my shoulders giving in and exposing my chest, "Oh, and she's a whore too, look at that," he mentioned with a chuckle as he pinned my arms against the cold wall he had managed to have me pushed against. His head moved quickly and he licked at my nipple.

I whimpered pathetically and attempted to lift my leg to deliver a blow to his groin, but his vice hold against my hips was too much, "No, please, stop!"

"Oh," he clicked his tongue in disapproval, "that's not what you were saying a while ago, were you?" He went for a kiss and I moved my face quickly, dodging his lips. Instead he licked my cheek and moved his hand to turn my face towards his. I spat at him and attempted to move, "Fucking bitch," he growled, delivering his fist to my face and I fell to the ground, quickly feeling Milo hovering atop of me.

"No, Milo, stop," I begged as he forcefully moved my arms above my head, and sat on my pelvis. I could feel his erection on my stomach when he dove to my chest, biting forcefully at my flesh, "Ouch," I shrieked behind my sobs, "Stop, please, don't do this," I continuously begged and fought for my release.

"Stop moving," he growled loudly, slapping me once more.

I tasted the coppery taste of blood in my mouth when I heard the familiar sound of a zipper being drug down and I succumbed to my fate.

Flight or fight, right?

I had fought to no avail from my assailant, so my maybe if I gave into flight, he would let me be. But, then I heard it, the shouting coming from somewhere across the street; an angel of sorts, shouting and asking prodding questions at Milo's behavior towards my body. Milo stood and glanced down the street, bending down a few feet away from me and taking off running behind my head. I sobbed as I lain on the cold, hard sidewalk, gasping for air when the face of my savior came into view, "Lady, are you all right? Was he trying to force you?"

His stare lingered down my chest and noticed my exposed breasts and he reached to bring my arms down and through the loopholes of my straps, "No," I yelled violently at him, "don't touch me," I shrieked.

"Easy sweetheart, easy. I'm just trying to help, ok?" and he continued carefully looping my arms through my straps and he turned to look down where Milo had left.

"The police are on their way," I heard another person say and I was thankful that I could actually hear the sirens in the distance.

My sobs continued as they attempted to comfort me when the crackle and pop illuminated the sky. Midnight: hello New Year, what a way to bring you in, don't you reckon?

I turned to my side and whispered the only name that mattered to me at the moment. The only person that I ever wanted to touch me the way Milo was forcing upon me, the only person that I wanted to share my body with, he was the one that mattered, but he was blissfully out of my grasps. He was inside, celebrating the New Year in the warmth of the building that I should've never run out off, "Trevor," I whispered as my eyes lulled and darkness took over me.

"No, no, no, sweetheart, keep your eyes open for me," the angel's voice faded through as the blue and red illuminated the walls of the building and as the sky filled with beautiful colors, shapes, and forms all I could see was dark.

* * *

 **A/N:** I'm sorry guys, I'm sorry, but I warned you. Review, review, review! Also, I promise they'll be ok. I'll fix this, but not right now. In a couple of chapters. :)


	27. Blank

_**Blank**_

" _I can't believe we're starting the year like this._ "

" _I know, poor thing hasn't woken or stirred since she got here_."

" _Did you call SVU?_ "

" _As soon as the EMT's brought her in, they should be here soon. Of course they're taking longer tonight, no one expects this._ "

" _Did you run the kit?_ "

" _As soon as I could while she still slept. No one should be subjected to that when they're awake. Tested positive for fluids._ "

My eyes fluttered and were met with the harsh bright, fluorescent lighting of a white ceiling. As soon as I felt hands on my body, I shot up from where I lain, whimpering and recoiling, bringing my knees to my chest. _Where's my gown? Why am I in a hospital g—no, fuck, no!_ I hid my face between my knees and began to sob when I felt a hand on my shoulder blade. I wailed when I heard the soothing voice, "Honey, sweetheart, you have to calm down for me, do you understand?"

I took a shuddering breath and relaxed, "There you go, can you look at me?" I raised my head to land my eyes on a nurse dressed in black scrubs, "Hi, my name is Bea and you were brought in because of what happened to you. D—Do you remember what happened?"

Of course I remembered what happened, but I couldn't bring myself to speak. I just wanted to be left alone and slowly, but surely my body shut down. I could see everything and I could hear everything the nurses were trying to say, but I was not within my body. I couldn't focus on their words, I couldn't consent to their calls, and all I could do was stare at my lap. When I moved it felt like I was running through water and when I attempted to speak my internal dictionary had been cleared out. I just existed within this space where I couldn't feel any pain, where I just felt peace, and a calming aura around me, like a blanket.

I don't know how long it was or how long it had been before a stunning brunette and a beautiful blonde walked into my room, "Hi, my name is Olivia, this is Amanda; could we talk to you?"

I could hear them, but I couldn't move and/or respond before Bea returned, "Lieutenant, she's been like this since she woke two hours ago."

"Do we know her name?" Amanda asked.

"No, no belongings were retrieved with her, but the couple who called the cops and gave statement to the other officers said that she mumbled the name 'Trevor' before she past out," Bea spoke to the ladies in the room.

His name brought me out of my catatonic state, "Trevor," I parroted and the action of speaking his name sprung me out of the bed, "Trevor, where's Trevor?" I ran with the words, sitting up straight.

"Who's Trevor, sweetheart?" Amanda asked.

I hopped off of the bed and attempted to make a run out of the room when Olivia caught me within her arms, "No, please, Trevor!" I shouted, "Please, I need him, please!" by now, I was shouting, trembling, and sobbing uncontrollably when I fell to my knees, "Please," I said in a shuddering breath, "Trevor, please."

Olivia fell to the ground next to me and held me in her arms, "Tell me his last name, sweetie. I will find him for you, please."

I was heaving against her chest, clinging to her as if she were my lifeline, and I struggled to find my words. She sounded so genuine, her comfort was just was I needed, "L—Langan, Trevor Langan."

Olivia tensed and she moved my body to look at my face, "Did he do this to you?"

I shook my head, "Please," I whispered, lulling my eyes, "I just want to see him."

"Ok, ok," I heard her say and then my nose was engulfed with her scent as my head landed against her chest, "Get Langan down here, now."

She rocked me back and forth and ushered me to my feet. She walked me back to the bed and helped me up in it. I tugged at the lapels of her jacket, "P—Please, don't go," I sounded so little, so pathetic, like a scolded child. She smiled at me and nodded, urging me to scoot on the bed so that she could climb next to me. She opened her arms to me and I rested on her chest, sobbing silently until sleep overtook my body.

" _Olivia!_ "

" _Liv! Where are you?_ "

I stirred when I felt the woman below me move and I tightened my grasp on her body, begging her to stay, "In here," she spoke when I forced my eyes to flutter open.

"N—Noa," the muffled sob of Trevor came from the door of my room.

I sat up quickly and all I could do was cry. Cry, because he was still wearing his suit from last night. Cry, because he looked like he hadn't had any shuteye since God knows when. Cry, because he smiled when he saw me, not exactly knowing what had happened to me in the past couple of hours. He rushed to my bedside and took me in his arms, slowly running his thumb across my cheekbone, leaning forward to place his lips upon mine. I welcomed the kiss, slowly increasing the pressure until we both were at a free fall. I broke the kiss and sighed, letting my forehead rest on his, as my tears fell.

"Liv," he struggled to speak, "Why are you here?"

"Trevor," she begun, "s—she was brought in a little after midnight," I lowered my head to rest my forehead against his chest, bracing myself for what was coming next, "She was assaulted, Trevor."

I closed my eyes and fisted Trevor's shirt in my hands, whimpering at the sound of the words, "W—What? W—Who?" he held me by my shoulders and pushed me away from his chest, "Noa, baby, who did this to you? Tell me," he growled, tears brimming in his eyes.

I closed my eyes and shook my head, "Trevor," I whispered, feeling more pathetic than before.

"N—Noa, is it?" Olivia spoke from behind me and I nodded, "Why don't we start from the beginning? Do you remember what happened?"

I nodded once more and opened my eyes, "Don't leave me, please," I begged to Trevor, watching him smile and shake his head, pulling me close to his chest, "I went outside for some fresh air. I had just vomited and needed the cold when he followed me. I thought it was Trevor so I welcomed his embrace, but then I realized that the height was not right and when I turned, it was him again. I slapped him and he reciprocated the slap, throwing me against a wall and pulling at the straps of my gown. He called me a whore and I told him to not do this, I told him no, to stop, but he didn't listen. He licked my breast and I spat on his face. He then punched me, busted my lip, and bruised my face. That's when I landed on the ground and he bit at my chest. He didn't have time to do anything else, that couple interrupted him. He took my clutch that has my ID, he knows where I live," I finished, sobbing on Trevor's chest.

He tightened his hold on me, "Noa, who is 'he'?" asked Olivia and that's when I knew, this was about to get worst, "Do you know him?"

I pushed on Trevor's chest and looked up at him, "His name is Milo Kent."

Trevor's face sported sheer horror when it changed to hate, "He's Henshall's brother."

"And, _your_ client," Olivia mentioned matter-of-factly.

"Not anymore," he said, "I want nothing to do with him. Noa, I'm so sorry," he said, kissing my cheeks, repeating it over and over and over again.

"You didn't do anything wrong, you don't need my forgiveness, Trev."

"I should've protected you better, I was supposed to protect you!" he growled.

I kissed him, enveloping him in my love. I expressed my love and basked in his, allowing for his anger to subside. It was to be a long journey from here on out, but I had Trevor to walk along with. Olivia gathered more information and I thanked her mercilessly for her help and dedication. Trevor glanced her way and nodded politely, a silent agreement between the both. It wasn't long before I was allowed to go home and by home, I meant Trevor's apartment.

We showered together; he tended to my open lip, and bruised face. He kissed me gently and ran his fingers over the disgusting bite mark Milo had left on my body. Such tenderness, such love that radiated through this man had me grasping at straws. He wasn't disgusted at me, he wasn't afraid to touch me, and he most definitely did not care that I needed him to be my pillar of hope.

Billings, sensing how distraught I was, lain on top of me on the couch, whilst I waited for Trevor to return from the kitchen, she applied pressure on my body with hers and lapped at my face on occasion. I found comfort in her fur when Trevor returned, "Here, baby, eat."

He handed me a bowl of soup as he sat next to me with his own, "Thank you, for everything," I said.

He leaned and kissed my cheek; "I'll do anything for you, Noa."

I smiled and we went to eat, the warmth of the food settling in my stomach and radiating through my body. Trevor had placed a movie on the TV and once we were done, I settled against his chest—Billings between my legs—and we were able to enjoy the quiet until I was able to conceal sleep.

 _It was cold. When did it get so cold? I thought Trevor had turned on the heat for me. Trevor! I searched for him, but I could only find Milo. He had him, Milo had Trevor, a gun to his temple, "Moan for me like you do for him and I'll spare his life," Milo said, a sadistic grin on his face._

" _Noa, baby, I love you. Don't forget that, ever," Trevor said behind his tears._

" _No, please," I begged, "You can't leave. Y—You're supposed to teach our son how to protect our daughter," I mentioned with a smile._

 _Trevor hung his head and chuckled. I walked closer, keeping a close eye to Milo. I knelt and grabbed Trevor's face within my hands. I leaned in to place a kiss to his face when it all changed. It wasn't Trevor whom I was holding; it was Milo and that sadistic grin. He had a hold of me, kissing my chest and I begged for him to cease his actions…_

"No! Stop! Don't touch me!"

"Noa, baby, stop; it's just me," I could hear Trevor begging, but I couldn't seem to snap out of my trance.

I could hear Billings barking in the distance and Trevor's continuous chant for me to open my eyes, "Noa, baby; open your eyes. You're safe with me."

His last call for me and I opened my eyes, whimpering. I was on the floor with Trevor straddling my hips, his loving gaze boring into my soul and I cried, covering my eyes with my hands, "I'm sorry."

I swam through air when his scent engulfed my being and his lips found my forehead, "Stop, stop," he grumbled through his teeth, continuously placing his lips to my forehead.

I clutched his shirt in my hands, as his shirt would be the connection between my life now and the past, "It was you and then it was him… I can't do this to you, Trevor."

"You aren't doing anything to me. _He_ did this to you, to _us_. _He's_ the one that should be sorry, not you. So, stop saying it, Noa. You haven't done anything wrong," he soothed.

I brought my hand to his neck, running my thumb over his pulse point. I sat up on his lap and brought my lips to his, easing him into a powerful frenzy. Our tongues lapped against the other and with every squeeze, with every nip, with every sigh; I could feel my soul being repaired by his love. I knew I wasn't ready for anything else than this at the moment, he knew I wasn't ready for anything else than this, and he followed my lead. He waited for me and met me halfway whenever I eased my way back in. He was the only counseling I needed, for now; he was the only thing that I craved and wanted and when air made a mockery of our love we came apart, still holding each other, clutching at the seams of our clothing.

* * *

The sounds of my thoughts were too loud to bear so Trevor soothed me with music from his dock center and while he had already achieved that peace that could only come with sleep, I lain safely in his embrace, listening, and being lulled by the soothing voice that roamed about the room.

 _I don't say a word  
_ _But still you take my breath  
_ _And still the things I know  
_ _There you go, saving me  
_ _From out of the cold  
_ _Fire on fire  
_ _We're normally careless  
_ _With this much desire  
_ _Together we're winners  
_ _They say that we're out of control  
_ _And some say we're sinners  
_ _But don't let them ruin  
_ _Our beautiful rhythms  
_ ' _Cause when you unfold me  
_ _And tell me you love me  
_ _And look in my eyes  
_ _You are perfection  
_ _My only direction  
_ _It's fire on fire  
_ _It's fire on fire_

And as the slow melody continued roaming through the room, I smiled, realizing that this man; expressed what I was feeling towards Trevor. With every kiss, he would still the outer world, quiet the loudest of voices, and take my breath away. He saved me, from the cold of the hospital, from the cold touch that were Milo's fingers, from the iceberg that had become my feelings momentarily after my assault… We were fire, passion, desire; we were careless, but in our eyes we were invincible. Nothing could stop us when we were a united front.

When he spoke about sinning and not letting _them_ ruin our beautiful rhythm, I couldn't help but associate the moment with what had just happened in my life. The moment that had ruined the start of my year, the start of _our_ year; but I had made a promise to myself of not letting anyone take way my happiness. And, I wasn't going to let this minor set back ruin the entire year for me. I had to do better, for me, for Trevor, for our future; I had to do better. It was then when I vowed to seek help, because even I knew that I couldn't rely only on Trevor's love. Charges had been pressed, investigation had started, my testimony had value and weight, and it now rested on the hands of the incredible detectives of the Special Victims Unit.

I smiled and turned in Trevor's arms, stirring the man slightly, and he tensed, fluttering his eyes, "Noa, baby."

I leaned and kissed his nose, "I'm here, pa. I'm here," I cooed.

Trevor opened his eyes and smiled sleepily, "Can't sleep?"

I shook my head, "No, but I am more than happy to watch you sleep."

Trevor chuckled and blinked slowly, "Baby," he said, taking a deep breath, "I'm sorry."

I furrowed my brow, "For what?"

"For not protecting you, for not walking out first, f—"

I silenced his ramble with a kiss, forceful, but still loving, "I don't want your apology. You did nothing wrong," I mentioned, running my hand down his face, "You _do_ protect me, and _are_ protecting me. You've offered me your home until the police apprehend him, you lay next to me not knowing when I will fall deep into an abyss of memory, and you do it with such grace."

Trevor tightened his hold on me and breathed in, "I love you, Noa. With all my being, until the end of time."

"Always the romantic," I quipped, giggling. He ran his fingers on my spine, staring at my face whilst I looked over his shoulder, thinking about the firm, my job, his, "Baby," he hummed and grabbed at my chin, directing my face to his, "what are you going to do about Henshall?"

He sighed, "You let _me_ deal with that. You focus on recovering and getting back to being that fast-mouthed woman that I fell deeply in love with. I'll deal with Henshall."

"What about work? And, my apartment?"

"Noa, you know that I am more than capable of taking care of the both of us. And, I know you've prepaid for the year," he finished with a smirk.

"How do _you_ know that I prepaid my apartment?" I asked, smiling.

"You have me as a reference, they called. And, you still have your settlement that you refuse to tell me how much it was," he prodded, "Besides, you have everything you need here: clothes, food, entertainment, Billings, and me."

I rolled my eyes playfully and settled near his chest, "I'm not telling you how much the settlement was, Langan so stop asking. I'll call Tristan and Olivia tomorrow to ask for help in moving my stuff."

He nodded, "We can figure that out tomorrow, baby. Let's sleep, if you can."

I sighed and placed my lips against his neck, feeling the movement of his Adam's apple as he swallowed against my mouth as he settled near my body. I knew I had a long journey ahead and I knew I could count on Trevor for support, both physically and emotionally. He was to be here with me on this emotional roller coaster ride of a journey that was to be my healing. I couldn't wait to be on this journey with him, a journey of love and self-discovery with Trevor.

* * *

 **A/N:** The song is Fire on Fire by Sam Smith. Little bit of a filler here to transition into Noa's healing and the part of woe that will be the upcoming chapters. Let me know what you think and guide me through what to do with Milo. I have a few ideas, but I would like to hear from you all. Thanks for all the reviews babies! :)


	28. Nine Weeks

**WARNING:** Sexual language and acts at play.

* * *

 _ **Nine weeks**_

"This is our last session, Ms. Diaz," Dr. Burke spoke softly, beaming at me, "They've been interesting six weeks, don't you think?"

I nodded and smiled, "They have been, but I couldn't have wanted it any other way, Dr. Burke."

"And, why is that?"

I shifted in my chair, feeling Billings shift underneath my legs, "I mean, we started with daily sessions. I was skeptical at first when you said you wanted to see me daily, meaning that nothing _actually_ happened, but something did happened and you helped me realize that."

Dr. Burke nodded, "Go on."

I sighed and continued, "Then after only two weeks we were down to Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays. Then only Mondays and Thursdays and now, well, this is our last session. It seemed so far away and now it's here."

Dr. Burke smiled, "You look much, much better than when you started seeing me. You gradually stopped getting nauseous when speaking about the assault. The nightmares stopped… you know, you used to clutch on to Billings when revisiting that night or talking about your nightmares. Now, she's here for comfort and protection, not as your lifeline which could've been detrimental to your relationship with Trevor." I smiled brightly at the mention of the man, "You're very much still in love, yes?"

"We are, even more than before, which seems physically impossible," I chuckled, motioning with my hands, "I thought he was going to treat me like a victim, a broken, damaged thing, but instead he loved me the same, he would touch me the same, and when I'd flinch or tense or get startled, he would remind me that it was him, that he would never touch me in an unwanted way," I sighed contently and smiled, "I am _beyond_ grateful for that."

"Does he know how grateful you are?"

"Oh God, yes! I tell him every day! I don't think I'll ever forget to thank him for all he's done. You know, he loves having me in his home," I finished with a giggle.

Dr. Burke laughed, "I'm sure he does," there was a slight pause before she continued, "Have you had sex?"

I shook my head and gave a thin lipped smile, "But, not for lack of trying, Dr. Burke. Last week, you recommended in our session that once I got back to the apartment to masturbate if I could, and I did. I noticed the sensations and needs of my body, just like you said. And, I thought about what kinds of touch felt good, bad, or triggering."

Dr. Burke raised her brow, "Ok, and what seems to be the problem?"

"Trevor walked in on me," Dr. Burke opened her mouth in a silent 'o' before I continued, "I stopped, but he urged me to continue, so I did. He joined me on the bed, he held me, but he didn't touch me where I wanted to be touched."

"Did you _tell_ him you wanted to be touched?"

"I've never had to tell Trevor where or how to touch, he just did, and—" Dr. Burke raised her brow and smirked, taking joy in my realization, "I must sound like _the_ most selfish person in the world," I said chuckling.

"No, not at all. It happens often, but the beauty of it is, you realized it on your own. I didn't have to guide you there, which shows me that you've truly made progress and no longer need me or my services," she smiled sweetly, "You've been a joy to work with, Noa. Your progress, your dedication, your resiliency astounds me, and I am proud to have been there for you in time of need. You've got your figure back, you're glowing, and you're beautiful… now, go home and enjoy yourself!"

We both stood, and being careful of Billings, I moved across the room to hug Dr. Burke. The woman was petite compared to me and I bent slightly when embracing her in my arms, "Thank you so, so much," I mentioned breathily, smiling brightly.

"Nonsense," she replied, breaking the lock and walking me towards the door, "it's my job and I'm here for you for anything that you need."

I nodded and smiled; bidding farewell to a person that had become my confidant in the past six weeks. Instead of taking a cab back to Trevor's or calling a car service, I decided to walk, something that Dr. Burke had suggested I do in order to let go of the fear that the police still hadn't apprehended Milo and that he could be following me. It was only a thirty-minute walk and it served as exercise for Billings as well.

As I was walking back through the busy streets of Manhattan, I got to thinking about the last month or so. February had just begun and it was cold, a crippling cold, but yet Billings and I moved and floated through as if it were eighty degrees weather. I decided to stop at a pharmacy on the way, having gotten this strong craving for something sweet. I never had a problem with Billings being in public spaces, she was a certified animal, and I always carried the proper documentation to show for it.

As I'm picking up ridiculous amounts of ice cream, chocolate, hard candy, and the works, a woman in the aisle over spoke, "Don't you just love how this pharmacy has the feminine care and the candies and chips on the aisles next to it?" she smiled as she shook her head.

And, realization hit me, and it hit me hard. January had coursed on by without any sign of my pained friend, "Shit," I mumbled underneath my breath, causing Billings to look up at me with a cock of her head. I smiled at the woman and moved to the aisle she was in.

I moved my eyes through the many different pregnancy tests that they offered. There were so many to choose from, much like the type of hygienic product you could choose when on that time of the month. One in particular drew me in and sold me, a digital one that could even determine how far along you were if you were to be pregnant. I grabbed the box and threw it in with the rest of my snacks. As I was directing myself towards the register, I saw Valentine's chocolates on display, in different sizes, and assortments. I smiled and grabbed two big sized chocolate hearts and one bag of the Dove hearts that compared to the big ones, they were bite-sized. I approached the register and smiled at the clerk, as they begun working on my items.

We arrived to Trevor's home ten-minutes after that and I immediately had to pee. I bit my lip in anticipation as I emptied my bladder on the correct side of the stick. I knew how these worked, I've seen many a friend cry and scramble to try and ready the instructions that I ended up reading to them. Once I was done, I recapped the stick, and placed it on top of the vanity counter of Trevor's powder room. I washed my hands and exited, getting busy on serving Billings a bowl of water and some food. These were bound to be the longest five minutes I had _ever_ had to wait in my life.

Could I imagine myself with a child? A child fathered by Trevor? I smiled as I rested my hands atop the kitchen sink. I shook my head and breathed out, searching in one of the bags for the cake frosting that I had bought, because who doesn't enjoy cake frosting when they're upset?

Five minutes seemed to fly once I busied myself around the living room and when my cellphone vibrated against my bottom, I nearly bolted back to the powder room. I grabbed the stick and closed my eyes, easing my breathing. If I was pregnant, I had to tell Trevor ASAP and if I wasn't well, I still needed to tell him because my period was still not here yet.

 _Whatever happens, Noa, you know you can still count on Trevor._

I took a deep breath and glanced at the window where it read ' _Pregnant 3+_ '. My eyes immediately watered, distorting the letters in front of me, but I could still feel myself smile. I wiped at my face, sniffling in the process as I went through the motions of finding out that I was a mother-to-be. I searched for the box and its instructions, attempting to decipher the message on the window. It read that when getting the results that I had gotten, it meant that conception had happened more than three weeks ago and that I could possibly be five or more weeks pregnant and the news just floored me.

This meant that I was pregnant that Christmas week and that the symptoms that I was facing then were my body adjusting to housing a life. Just the thought of me being pregnant whilst I was being assaulted revolted my stomach. Thankfully, I was still in the powder room and I regurgitated mercilessly into the porcelain bowl.

Washing both my face and mouth, I exited the powder room, still content about what the pregnancy test read. I smiled and quickly got to working on the chocolate hearts I had purchased at the pharmacy. Of course, I found it a little bit ridiculous that I was using Valentines Day chocolates, but I guess nothing else could be more fitting than this. I had an idea and went downstairs to Trevor's office to find tape, paper, and a pen. I came back up and placed the chocolate hearts on Trevor's cookie sheet with toothpicks through each of them identifying them as 'You' and 'Me'. I proceeded to open the bag of Dove hearts, unwrapping the foil and quickly tossing it in the trash, I stuck the toothpick with the identifier of 'Baby' through it and placed it in the oven.

These past weeks that I'd been staying here, only leaving the apartment when I had to go to therapy, take Billings out for her morning and evening romping, or go for groceries, I'd cooked for Trevor—when I wasn't too emotionally drained. Otherwise, his dinner would always be in the oven and after he had checked on me and made sure that my session—if I had one—or my day had gone well, he would immediately go to it.

It was nearing Trevor's time to come home and I was beyond excited. I had hidden well the box of the test in the kitchen trashcan and I had placed the stick with the instructions in my back jean pocket. Now that I knew that I was pregnant, I could explain why these particular jeans were digging at my stomach. I smiled and shook my head, placing my hands on my stomach when I heard the locks come undone.

Billings immediately went on high alert and it wasn't until she saw Trevor that she bolted to the door, pausing only when Trevor raised his hand so that she wouldn't ruin his suit.

Her tail wagged rebelliously whilst he bid farewell to whomever he was talking to on the phone, "Hey there, pretty girl!" he mentioned contently, kneeling to pet Bills, receiving licks to his face, "All right sweet one, that's enough."

I smiled and stood, walking towards him, "How was work?"

"We'll talk about that later, Noa," he smiled, using his hand to dismiss me slightly, "How was your last day of therapy?"

"It was good," I said, attempting to hide my smile in his chest as I looped my arms around his waist, "Dinner's in the oven," I mentioned releasing his waist and going to walk away towards the bedroom, "Come find me when you're done."

I could tell he wanted to protest, but refrained from doing so when he noticed that I had already climbed the second set after the first landing. I sat on the bed and removed my shirt, exposing my small protruding belly. Of course, now it all made sense, before now I was barely eating, and when I did, the nausea had been too much for me to hold anything down. I had lost my shape quickly, but dating back a week I had begun eating like there was no tomorrow. I suddenly heard Trevor gasp loudly and the pattering of feet as they quickly took the stairs.

When he stood underneath his archway, his eyes brimmed with tears, "Please, explain this to me. I need to hear it from you," he begun, chuckling slightly.

I rolled my eyes and removed my hands from my swell, "You're going to have a miniature you running around here soon," I said breathily, my voice catching in my throat as I delivered the message.

He ran to me, crashing his mouth on mines, feverishly tasting and probing. I moaned into the kiss, feeling his hands travel down my back and to my ass where he squeezed, groaning carnally at the feel. We parted, resting our foreheads together, "Trevor," I whimpered.

He went to move his hands from my bottom when I continued, "Make love to me. Make me yours," I finished, finding his belt buckle and carefully undoing it, unbuttoning his trousers and sneaking my hand inside to find his cock raging. I smirked and looked up, catching the sultriness in his eyes.

He growled at the feel of my hand pumping at him, "Noa," he begun lowly, lulling his yes when I delivered a gentle squeeze, imitating my pulsating walls, "I—I can't make love to you."

"What?" I said, shocked to my core and collecting tears in my eyes.

He pulled me against him and I hissed. He moved his lips to my neck to bite on that sweet spot that only he seemed to find and spoke into my skin, "I can't make love to you, because all I want to do right now is _fuck_ you."

I giggled throatily, squeezing gently at his cock, "What are you waiting for, huh?" I finished, suddenly feeling myself float through the air until something sturdy was against my back.

Trevor had managed to lift and push me against the window that gave view to his living room. I moaned at the feel of the cool surface against my bare back as he quickly worked to rid my bottom half of my jeans and underwear. He didn't miss a beat in unzipping and easing his magnificent cock inside of me. Trevor groaned and hissed like a mad man at the tightness my cunt provided and I moaned and mewled as his shaft slid through my folds, stretching me for his pleasure.

I threw my head back, landing harshly against the window, moaning in pleasure as Trevor took his leisure pace to torture me, "Fuck me," I moaned loudly, digging my nails on the skin of his neck.

Trevor smirked and his eyes lulled, "How are you so tight?" he grumbled through clenched teeth, easing his self out and back in forcefully, making me hiss at the thrust, "I'll fuck you when I'm done feeling your cunt pulsate," he said sternly, his eyes remaining mirthful as he smirked.

I giggled and bit my lip, giving him a flirtatious wink. I clenched my walls for his pleasure, hearing him groan and close his eyes, "Baby, please," I moaned, feeling him grip my hips and drive me down his cock, "Please, please, please, Trevor," I growled, feeling him power through his thrusts. I could feel the vein on his cock pulsate, rubbing on the pillowy wall inside of me. He was looking down between us, watching himself fuck me.

"Shit, baby, I'm close already," he husked, biting his lip, slowing his movements.

I moaned and brought my fingers to my nub, circling it, "F—Faster," I coaxed, feeling him pummel into my pelvis.

Trevor squeezed my hips; his moves getting sloppier by the second as he continuously drove into me. I felt the pull gather between my legs when I tensed, gasping, and crashing my upper body into his chest. Trevor growled, panting as he emptied everything he had into me, walking us back to the bed in the process. I rested my forehead on his shoulder, breathing raggedly as I felt his hands roam through my bottom. I turned my head, resting my cheek against his shoulder, pressing my lips to the skin of his neck, slowly licking and biting the skin behind his pulse point. His breathing picked up once more as my tongue and lips continued their tantalizing teasing, "Noa," he warned with a low growl to his voice.

"Yes," I answered against his skin, moving my mouth to his lobe, nibbling it gently.

"Baby," he tried again.

"Yea," I replied, moving my lips to his jaw, nibbling and kissing as I made a trail to his lips. I kissed him slowly, moving my hips against him in tandem.

He clamped my lip in place, smirking at the futile attempt I made of escaping his teeth. I smiled, feeling the pull of the skin between his teeth until he released me, looking up into my eyes, "We're pregnant," he mentioned, wrapping his arms around my waist.

I nodded, circling my arms around his neck, "We are, apparently since more than five weeks."

Trevor chuckled, "But, wait; that means you were probably pregnant for Christmas," I nodded, smiling, "So that wasn't you vomiting because of your period?"

"No, it was because of baby," I continued, nudging my nose against his, "The only reason I took a test was because January seemed to course through with no sign of my period."

Trevor raised his brows, smiling, "How are you feeling, baby?"

"Amazing, now that you've finally made me yours," I replied, running my fingers through the hairs on the back of his head.

He kissed my chin, gently biting it, "Apart from the sex afterglow, Noa Elisa."

We laughed, "I still feel amazing. I have to make an appointment to find out how far along I am."

"When did you think it happened?"

I smirked and bit my lip, "I'm thinking around Thanksgiving or maybe it was the day you fucked me after Miranda left," I trailed off, loosening his tie.

Trevor groaned, "Or maybe it was that time in the shower," he hummed, grounding me onto his lap.

"Time in the shower," I husked, "I don't remember that time, care for a refresher?" He nodded enthusiastically, easing me out of his lap, and walking us to the attached master bathroom where we quickly disrobed; touching, and probing missed skin.

* * *

 **A/N:** I'll give you some good times from here on forward, until I don't. Just be forewarned, I'll put them through some testy times, but they'll be ok. Trust. Review, review, review! It lets me know you actually like what I'm writing for you.


	29. As the Brood Grows

_**As the brood grows**_

I had entered my second trimester when we decided to let our friends and family know about our pregnancy. I still spent most of my days inside of the apartment with Billings, mostly reading, caring for my body, and caring for my pregnancy. Trevor continued to work and on the weekends we would leave the apartment, spending most of the day walking around parks or sometimes outside of the city completely. The family had respected my decision of not wanting to be seen during my recovery after what had transpired during New Year's Eve celebration. Trevor had to let Alex know, after all, SVU was her Bureau. Casey found out through Alex and the rest of the family found out eventually due to their constant inquiry of us.

Trevor had stopped attending family gatherings, not wanting to leave me on my own and me feeling like shit due to the pregnancy and assault; just wanted to stay indoors. All through the ordeal and even through the healing process, Trevor had been an angel. He hadn't complained, he hadn't fussed; he just did. And, now more than ever, he didn't let me do anything without fussing at me.

We were getting ready to leave and meet the rest of the family at the Novak-Cabot's brownstone uptown for a planned brunch that Trevor had insisted Alex on hosting. As I was getting ready, I felt Trevor's arms loop around my waist to my front, rubbing gently on my swell. It had been snowing outside so keeping warm was essential.

"You look beautiful, baby," he mentioned, catching my eyes on the mirror.

"Thank you," I replied with a smile, putting on a red beanie.

"Your hair has gotten longer," Trevor continued, leaning forward to place a kiss on my cheek, "I like it."

I chuckled, "Of course you do," I said, side glancing him as he reached for his styling pomade, "I don't like my hair long, it was forced on me when I was younger. I was thinking of cutting it."

"Can't we talk about this?" he asked with a smirk.

"What do you think we're doing?" I giggled, leaning forward on the bathroom sink to place my mascara on.

"Why don't you just leave it long and then when the baby comes, I'll be the first one to take you to get it cut, please?" he mentioned with a pout.

I rolled my eyes and turned to walk away, sitting on the bed to place my black combat boots on, "I'll think about it," I finally responded, seeing him emerge from the bathroom.

"That's all I ask. Are you ready?" I nodded and stood, grabbing my scarf in the process.

Once downstairs, Trevor fed and placed fresh water for Billings and we left soon after. Trevor and Alex didn't live that far from each other, but something told me that we were the last ones to arrive. I rubbed on my small bump as Trevor drove through the streets of Manhattan. We had already planned on how we wanted to enter the home and what would be said on Trevor's part. We arrived in front of the brownstone and as expected, we were the last ones to arrive, "Looks like everyone is here," Trevor mentioned as he placed the emergency break on.

I chuckled and turned my head towards him, "Are you ready?" I finished, biting my lip.

He smiled and nodded slowly, "Are you?"

I shrugged playfully, "I don't really have a choice here, do I?" I mentioned with a giggle, "I'm ready, baby."

He mouthed the word 'ok' and leaned forward to place a kiss on my lips, "Just as planned?"

"Just as planned. Nothing more, nothing less," I replied as I watched him unbuckle and look through his rearview to open his door.

Trevor shut the door and walked around his SUV, climbing the steps of the brownstone and slowly entering the home. The Langan's as well as the Cabot's had this habit of leaving their front door unlocked whenever they had family functions, but I had never understood why. I knew there had to be a reason behind it, but I hadn't gotten the chance to ask. I waited roughly two minutes before exiting the SUV.

As I shut the door, I fixed my cable knit cashmere sweater and accommodated my black faux leather leggings. I stuffed my hands and phone inside my leather jacket's pockets and walked up to the brownstone. Opening the door, the scattered chatter that could be heard once I past through the vestibule stopped. I smiled and shook my head, making my way towards the back of the home where the kitchen could be found and where no doubt, every one would be gathered at until it was time to head upstairs to the formal dining room.

Trevor saw me first and immediately approached me, wrapping me in his arms, "Guys," he begun, slowly turning to reveal my frame, "Noa's pregnant."

"Oh my God!" Alex shouted with a smile, weaving through her kitchen to make her way towards me, immediately placing her hands on my swell, "Oh my God!" she repeated, causing me to laugh.

"You can say something else, you know," I quipped.

Alex quickly enveloped me in her arms, "Oh Noa, congratulations! When did you find out?" she asked, holding me at arm's length.

"About five weeks ago," I said tentatively, looking up at Trevor who simply nodded and smiled, "I'm fourteen weeks now, so that sounds about right."

"You're fourteen weeks?" Alex parroted, her voice in disbelief. I nodded and smiled, "That means you were pregnant already for Christmas!"

"Yea, and we didn't know," Trevor responded.

"All right, move, Alex! Other people want to congratulate her, too," said Casey from behind her wife.

Alex moved to Trevor as the rest of the family hugged us and asked questions.

* * *

Brunch was about to be served when everybody had already made it upstairs to the formal dining room when I was left alone with Casey, Mona, and Tilly, "How are _you_ doing though, Noa?" Tilly asked.

I sighed and moved to empty the cutting board of the cantaloupe I had been cutting, "I'm doing great, honestly. I spent six long weeks in therapy, but I made it through unscathed," I chuckled, looking up, "And, your brother, I mean," I smiled, shaking my head, "he couldn't have been more amazing."

Tilly nodded and smiled, "W—Was it hard when you found out about the pregnancy?" Casey asked with an apologetic look on her face.

I shook my head, "I found out on my last day of therapy actually, and all because January coursed on by without me getting my period."

"What about the morning sickness? That was my telling sign," Ramona chimed in.

"I was having it, but they were paired with nightmares of the assault so, I blamed my upset stomach on that. I really didn't make a connection between the both until that last day of therapy," I finished, stealing cantaloupe from the bowl.

"Well, I'm happy for the both of you and I'm excited to meet my little niece or nephew in a couple of months," Casey answered with a wink, "With that said, stop eating all the cantaloupe before Alex comes down here and throws a fit."

"I can get away with it," I replied, popping another cut piece of the fruit into my mouth, "I'm pregnant, you know."

Tilly and Mona laughed as Casey scoffed, "Ugh," she said, "You disgust me. You don't play fair."

I giggled and grabbed the bowl, making my way upstairs. Once in the formal dining room, I placed the cantaloupe bowl towards the middle of the table and sneaked a couple of more pieces. Alex glared at me and I smiled, pointing at my stomach and mouthing 'baby' to her. She threw her head back in laughter and shook her head as I took a seat next to Trevor. I leaned on his arm, placing a kiss on his cheek, drawing his attention from whatever was being said across the table to me.

I smiled and winked at him, earning a chuckle from the man, "I love you," I said softly before eating a piece of the stolen cantaloupe.

"I love you more," he replied, leaning in to steal a kiss.

Once Casey, Ramona, and Tilly made it up to the formal dining room with what was missing from the table, we all begun passing around the bowls of food and fruits around. As we all grabbed and plated what we wanted, the chatter begun across the table, "So Noa, are you planning on returning to the office?" Senior asked.

I looked up at Trevor who scratched his brow, "Trevor already has a new assistant, and whilst the investigation is going on, I'm not supposed to step foot in that office. Conflict of interests."

"What about you, Trevor?" he continued.

"What _about_ me, Dad?" Trevor responded, "I work with Robert, _we_ don't have any problems. The problem is that Milo is a client of the firm and until he's apprehended, she can't step foot in the office."

"He's still on the loose?" Tommy asked.

"Yes," Trevor responded.

"Can we talk about something else?" Alex chipped in, working on her plate.

"Please," I sighed, placing my hand on Trevor's thigh.

"Boy or girl?" Gigi asked with a smile.

Trevor shook his head and laughed, "Noa, wants a girl, but I want a boy." I rolled my eyes and giggled, "What's so funny?"

"You," I responded with a smirk.

"I'm glad you find me hilarious."

"Always, baby," I finished, leaning in and placing my lips on his.

"But, ultimately, we don't want to know until baby is here," Trevor continued.

"No gender reveal?" Tilly asked.

"Right, that's the most fun I've had since my bachelorette party," Alex added.

I laughed, "No," I shrugged, "we just want to enjoy the pregnancy with the least amount of stress possible."

"I can see that," Gigi added, "and, it's about time for a baby around here."

Everybody laughed at Gigi's comment and the conversation continued without the topic of preference being my pregnancy and/or journey through therapy. We all ate and after we were done, we all helped in the cleaning process. I enjoyed this newfound energy this second trimester was awarding me and I also enjoyed spending time _out_ of Trevor's home with other adults that could award me with conversation and stimulate my mind. Even though Billings stimulated me, sometimes all you needed was human contact. It's not like I could call whomever and ask them to hang out or swing by because we were all working adults. It's not like I could just leave the apartment and wander around the city freely, Milo was still on the lam, and I was still shaken up enough that I wouldn't leave the apartment without being accompanied by Billings.

I had been talking to Trevor about spending less time at the apartment and more time outside of it, either volunteering at a shelter or even working someplace else. I was supposed to be at the firm for a year and then I was going to find my way back into the PR world, but now that I had found out I was pregnant, I was going to have to give it a little bit more time. PR was my dream, it's what I lived and breathed, but family always came first, and that would always be priority.

We were all sat at in the living room, talking and watching the kids play when Trevor leaned in to whisper in my ear, "Have you given it more thought to what we talked about?"

I turned around, draping my leg over his knee, "Yes, I think I could do it. I don't think it'd be much more different than working for you."

Trevor chuckled, running his hand over my knee, "We're talking about Alex, Noa."

"I worked for _you_ , Trevor," I laughed, "I don't think Alex will be all that hard. If I can deal with your mouth, I'm sure I can deal with hers."

"You're going to talk to her then?"

I nodded and smiled, "Just not right now, we're having fun," I leaned in, ghosting my lips over Trevor's.

He smiled, nudging his nose on mine. Could there be any more love radiating through this little space that we had created? The way he was looking at me, the way the world had slowly faded to only leave just us in our little corner of the couch, and the way we were playing with each other's fingers, created a safe space, a bubble of love that nothing could penetrate. No words were being exchanged, just glances, smiles, and smirks until Tommy threw a pillow to Trevor's face.

"Jesus, T—Thomas!" Trevor growled whilst I giggled, leaning back on the couch.

"We're talking to you!" Tommy responded.

"And, you couldn't just say something?"

"We had been, but you two were too engrossed in each other to pay attention," Senior mentioned simply.

Trevor looked at me and sighed, smiling, "What?"

"Mom was asking if you wanted anything from the kitchen, but you missed your shot," Tilly quipped.

Trevor rolled his eyes and leaned back on the couch, mumbling something under his breath, "Ouch," I breathed out, shifting on my bottom to grab the pillow that was thrown to place it behind my back.

"Baby," Trevor begun, leaning forward and placing a hand on my back, "what's wrong?"

I shook my head and smiled, "Nothing, I'm just… sore."

"Oh, it'll go away in a few weeks just to come right back by the end of the pregnancy," said Ramona with a smile.

"Ugh," Casey continued, "I remember this time quite vividly. I had to carry a towel in my bag."

I furrowed my brow, "A towel?"

Casey nodded, "Nosebleeds, they were horrible. I guess it was because of the hormones. Apparently, all Novak women go through it during their second trimester."

"I stopped buying white towels. She was ruining all of them, and the good ones on top of that," Alex chimed in from behind me, handing me a bowl of yogurt with granola, fruits, and honey.

I gasped, "Alex! How did you know?" I groaned, unhooking my leg from Trevor's leg and sitting up straight.

"Casey was always bleeding and hungry during this time. Ramona was definitely always hungry—"

"God, I gained so much weight with Zach," Ramona mentioned, opening her eyes.

"I'd figure you'd be the same," Alex continued.

"There's a lot you've got to learn, Trev," Tommy said with a chuckle, "Just be prepared for the coming weeks though," he finished with a wink.

The family erupted in laughter, causing Trevor to blush and hide his face, "Oh, he doesn't have to prepare that much, do you baby?" I mentioned, turning to place my lips on Trevor's jaw.

"Can we not talk about _that_ in front of the kids?" Trevor said bashfully, his cheeks sporting an even pinkish hue than before.

I giggled, "Oh, _now_ you're shy?" Gigi cut in, "I believe you were the precocious one out of my children."

"Mom!" Trevor nearly shouted.

Everybody laughed as I ran my hand down Trevor's thigh, providing him comfort, "No, I believe Tilly was the precocious one, Mom. You just never found out," Tommy said.

Tilly was quick to gut-check her twin brother, "Shut up," she said through clenched teeth.

"Oh no, I want to hear this," Senior said, leaning forward on his spot.

I scoffed and smiled at the family's banter, eating contently out of my yogurt bowl. It wasn't long after that I finished, standing to walk to the kitchen. I was at the sink, washing the bowl and other stuff in there when Alex appeared, "You could've left that there, Noa."

"Oh, it's no big deal. I enjoy playing with water," I said, turning on my hip to look at the blonde woman. I bit my lip and thought that this would be a good time as any to talk to Alex, "Hey Alex, I have a question for you," she hummed, "Have you found a new assistant, yet?"

I wrung my hands out and turned off the water, turning around to catch her expression, "Trevor told you I'm on the market for one, huh?" I nodded and smiled at the ground, "Well," she begun, "I haven't, but send me your resumé and a few references and I'll ran them by my boss."

I looked up at the woman and grinned, "I already did, actually."

Alex shook her head and laughed, "I should've known," she said, walking forward to wrap me in her arms, "I'm glad you're doing much better, Noa. You had us all worried!"

I sighed, "I know, it was hard, but again, Trevor was _amazing_."

"I haven't seen him this happy in a long time, thank you. Truly," she said rubbing on my arm, "thank you."

I smiled and kissed her cheek, "He's made me just as happy, too."

* * *

 **A/N:** Little fluff piece and filler chapter to transition into the upcoming chapters. Noa's hormones will get the best of her soon and name discussion will be brought up. After that, please forgive me, it will be more hard times coming by. The story's pretty much written with an ending and everything, but I'll make sure to give you all the happy ending you want and they deserve. Trust me. Also, remember I post updates every **ten** **days** and REVIEW! :)


	30. A Langan Child

_**A Langan Child**_

"Are you two going to tell us what the name of my grandchild is going to be?" Senior grumbled from the opposite side of the dinner table.

"Dad," Trevor begun, "I told you, we're keeping the gender and names a secret until the baby is born."

"So, you mean to tell me," Gigi interrupted, placing a plate of fresh fruit in front of us, " _you_ don't even know the gender of your own child, Trevor."

Trevor looked at me and smiled, shaking his head; "Baby," I uttered, rubbing on my enlarged abdomen, "maybe we can tell them the names we've chosen. That way they'll have an idea of what to expect."

"Oh Noa," Tilly interjected, "don't give in to my parents prodding. You know, they made Mona change Zachary's name."

Tilly had a smirk on her face as her parents glared at her, "We did not, Tilly!" Gigi nearly shouted.

"Mom," Trevor warned.

Senior sighed, "That's neither here nor there. What will the name be if it's a boy?"

"Harrison Luca Langan," Trevor offered, shooting me a side-glance.

I smiled and rubbed my belly, "Bringer of light."

Senior offered a wry smile as he looked to his wife, "It's a magnificent name," he said.

"And, if it's a girl?" Tilly asked.

Trevor and I chuckled in unison, "Initially, we had said that we weren't going to continue with mom's tradition of giving our child 'TL' initials but," he paused for effect, "it's a fitting name and I, personally, am in love with it."

"Ok, so we know she'll be the last one on the 'TL' roster," Tilly quipped.

"You say it like it's so bad to have those initials," Gigi admonished.

Senior shook his head, "All right, what is it?"

"Theodora Juliette Langan, gift of God," I answered, lacing my fingers with Trevor's.

The name hung over the table as everybody eyed everyone's reaction and expression. We knew that Theodora was an 'unusual' name for a girl, especially in this time and era, but we weren't doing for our benefit, we were doing it for hers. Give your daughter's names that are strong at the roll of the tongue, make others second-guess; make them wonder… that's how you'll know for sure you're bringing forth a strong woman to society. After everything that had transpired in the past few months, the names we'd picked for our future child—whether it was a he or a she—were names that meant something to us and were names near and dear to our hearts.

"Theodora," Gigi parroted. She hummed and continued to bring out our breakfast to the table, "did you mean to give her a middle name so that it could be shortened to initials?"

"Yes," Trevor answered, "especially with a such a strong name like Theodora."

"Whose idea was it?" she asked.

Trevor looked at me and shook his head, "Noa's," he answered, "Is there a problem?"

"She's going to make you reconsider it, that's the problem," Tilly said, shifting in her seat.

"There's nothing to reconsider," I said calmly, feeling Trevor's fingers tighten around mine, "Her name _will_ be Theodora. You can call her Theo, Thea, you can call her TJ; you can even call her Julie, Juju… whatever, but that _will_ be her name."

It wasn't often that I disagreed so openly with the grand dame of the family, but this was Trevor and I's child and if he loved the name—which I knew he did—that's all it mattered, "Come on, Noa," Trevor said, standing, "let's go for a walk. We still have to wait for Tommy, Ramona, and Zach."

I nodded and smiled, pushing my chair back. Trevor offered his hand as I stood and I took it eagerly. We walked out of the house and went for a walk around the block. We didn't speak at first; we just walked in close proximity and sought comfort in the other. I knew he was deep in thought about something, I could see it in his face, but I had learned that there was no pushing and prodding Trevor Langan. The man was an open book, but at his discretion. Being his girlfriend awarded me no seniority in his mind even though, that's all I wanted.

I decided to take my chance, "I can hear you thinking, Trev."

He looked at me and smiled, "That obvious, huh?"

I smirked and shrugged my shoulders, "To me, yes. What's on your mind, babe?"

"Tilly wasn't lying when she said that they made Tommy and Mona reconsider Zach's name," he begun.

"What was the name they'd picked out?"

"They wanted Wallace James, but Mom and Dad were adamant that Wallace was an 'old man's name' for a little boy to grow up with," he shifted closer to me as we circled the block, "I loved the name! Tilly loved it too, but of course, Tommy wanted to please our parents since he was bringing the first grandchild in."

I sighed and closed my eyes, "So, do you think that because there's a possibility of us bringing in the first granddaughter in we have to fold at your parent's request?"

"What?" he stopped abruptly, turning to face me, "Noa, is that what you think I'm thinking or is that what you think we should do?"

I thought about it. It's not that I thought that Trevor was thinking that, he had been nagging on me lately that he hoped we had a little Noa, that he wanted his girls to be ok; I, not for one second, thought he wanted to change the name we'd picked out, but it did got me thinking, why _did_ Tommy changed his son's name? "Neither," I finally answered, "I just would like to know what kind of power do your parents have that it made Ramona and Tommy change the name of their son."

Trevor sighed and took me in his arms. I smiled and buried my face in his chest as he kissed my hair, "It was mostly Mom who had a 'problem' with the name. Dad seemed fine with it, but later on was backing up his wife—as a husband should always do—and in the end, they just changed it."

"Well," I said, pushing back on his arms to look up at him, "I'm not going to fold at your parents' request, Trev and no matter how piercing and intimidating those blue eyes get, you know I won't budge," I finished smiling.

He smirked and leaned forward to press our lips together twice, hovering over my mouth, "And that, ladies and gentlemen is why Noa Elisa Diaz _will_ one day be my wife."

I giggled and melded our lips together in a slow, lingering kiss, "We're hungry and I reckon Tommy should be here by now."

He chuckled and kissed me chastely three more times before releasing his hold on my waist. We walked back to the house and indeed; Thomas and Ramona were already there. We entered the home and soon I had a pair of small hands around my thighs, little Zach. I hugged and kissed the boy's smooth tresses as Trevor roughed him up. We walked back to the table in silence and sat. The tension in the room could be cut with the butter knife, but in all honesty, it wasn't coming from our side.

"What happened?" Thomas asked.

Tilly and Tommy locked eyes, "Mom, what did you say?" he asked.

"And, what makes you think it was me, Thomas Louis Langan?" Gigi asked defensively.

"Because, Tilly… never mind that, what did you say?"

Trevor sighed and scratched his brow, standing to sit Zachary in his booster chair, "We were discussing baby names and apparently our mother has a problem with the name we've chosen if the baby's a girl."

"What's the name?" Ramona asked.

"Theodora Juliette," Tilly answered, "I love it. My niece will be a badass just like her mom… and aunt," she mentioned, winking in my direction.

"It's a beautiful name, Noa," Mona awarded, "Why Theodora though? Is there a reason?"

I shook my head, "No reason, we just love it."

"I don't have a problem per se with Juliette," offered Gigi, "maybe that should be the first name instead."

I closed my eyes and stood, sighing, "I think I'll have my breakfast outside."

"Noa," Trevor warned, "it's chilly outside… you're pregnant."

I turned to look at him, "Okay, and your point is?" I growled as I unlocked the bay doors that gave access to the patio and deck outside.

I sat on the metal chair of the lush patio set and tightened my pea coat around my body. Though, due to my ever-growing stomach, there wasn't much tightening that could be done. There was no breeze today and I was thankful for that, I don't think I could've handle the chill of the spring morning on top of a cold breeze. I sat in thought, my hands slowly caressing my protruding belly. What was the big deal with the names and Gigi wanting to be in control of it? This was _my_ child, not hers. I wondered what exactly was said in order for Ramona to change the name of her firstborn.

I heard the door open and close behind me and I waited until the chair next to me rustled to raise my head, "Are you ok?" Ramona asked.

I lifted my gaze to meet hers, "I will be once I feed Trevor's vacuum spawn," I giggled, tucking my wavy locks behind my ear.

"I'm glad those doors are sound proof," she offered, gaining a furrowed brow from me, "Aside from Thomas and I having had sex out here multiple times," she trailed off.

"Mona," I said, chuckling, "no, EW."

She laughed, reaching over and tapping my jean clad thigh, "We were in the grass, relax. Anyways," she said, holding her mug tightly to her chest, "it's a screaming fest in there right now."

I glanced back and saw the back of both Trevor and Tilly's head, Senior's stare towards them, and Gigi's frustrated face, "Should we go back in?"

She shook her head, "No, you'll learn this quick; let Trevor get it all out with his parents. They're all lawyers, but there's a reason why he's the most successful of them all."

I smirked, "What happened?"

"Well, after you sassed your boyfriend, he stood and went upstairs where I'm sure he punched something. Then, he came back down and let it pour on Gigi and Senior," she took a sip from her mug, "Thomas intervened and removed Zach and took him upstairs and when he came back down I was getting ready to come out here."

I sighed and shook my head, "Why did you change Zach's name?"

She smiled and nodded slowly, "It was Tom's idea. I was raised old school Catholic. At first I was… reluctant, because we had agreed that we would use my grandfather's name and his grandfather's middle name for Zach, but when we shared it with them, she was very vocal about her dislike for the name Wallace."

"I'm sorry," I began, "yours and Tommy's relationship doesn't seem at all like _that_ type."

She tittered, "Because it isn't. That's just me submitting to my teachings and though Tom fights me to stand up to him, sometimes I just do because honestly, who are we kidding, I don't have it in me, but other times," she winked at the hint.

"You are just full of surprises, huh?" we laughed, "Mona, did she choose the name Zachary?"

"Oh God, no. That's my grandfather's middle name," she chuckled, "Tom and I had an understanding that we would use his middle name for our second born, guess Wallace can be our second child, if it even is a boy."

"Are you guys trying for another one?"

She shook her head vehemently, "Jesus, no. I mean, there's a lot of practice that goes into it, but we don't want another kid until Zach is in school. Especially, since we have the possibility of it being a multiples pregnancy," she cleared her throat, "Imagine that, a rowdy toddler and twins? No. No. I already drink enough as it is," we laughed at her admission.

The older blonde was a breath of fresh air in this rather somber morning and though she had done so to please both her husband and in-laws, I was not Mona. I was not about to let my 'in-laws' dictate the name of my child just because they disliked the name Trevor and I— _their_ _son_ —had chosen for what could be their first granddaughter, "How is it having a Langan kid?" I mused, rubbing on my belly.

"Honestly," she smiled, "amazing, I wouldn't trade it for the world. Are you and Trevor planning on moving once the baby gets here?"

"He wants to stay in his apartment that I love, by the way," I awarded, "but he knows I don't want to stay there forever. That is not a suitable floor plan for a newborn and he knows that I hate multiple floors when raising a family."

"So, no brownstones for you, huh?"

"No, and the messed up part is, I know he wants one, but that is something I am not willing to compromise and he knows that."

"Have you guys looked at places together then?" she asked.

I nodded, "We have, I'm even open to leaving the city and move to another borough if that's what he wants, but I'm not compromising on the floor plan."

"Ooh, Jersey City, we'd be neighbors," she said enthusiastically, "I think Trevor, just like Thomas, wants a place where his children get to play outside without having necessarily to leave and go to a park."

"And, I get that, I do, but honestly Mona, you've been to Alex and Casey's brownstone, it's beautiful, but all that walking up and down to get somewhere," I shook my head, "It's a newborn for Christ's sake and I get that in the beginning they'll sleep with us, but afterwards, I'm going to have to go up and down just to reach them and in the middle of the night too. That doesn't make any sense."

"Are you willing to compromise on a multi-level home if your room and the baby's is on the same floor?"

I narrowed my stare at her and smiled, "What are you up to, Ramona Langan?"

She threw her head back in laughter, "Nothing, I swear. I'm just trying to put things in a different perspective. I'm not saying brownstone multi-level, but maybe a townhouse in a cul-de-sac?"

"I'm not opposed to that," I mentioned smirking when I felt the powerful flutter of the baby's movement. I winced when I felt their little feet or hands push on my ribcage.

"Kicking at your ribs?" Mona asked and I nodded, "I hated it, too."

"It's only during the mornings, though. Afterwards, baby finds a way to kick and push everywhere else."

I smiled and looked at my full of baby love stomach when the door rattled and it opened to reveal a rambunctious Zachary, followed by his father, and lastly Trevor, "Mommy," Zachary dragged the syllable, "uncle Trev toss me!"

"He did?" Mona asked, matching the child's energy.

I looked up at Trevor and saw him standing with one hand in his pocket and the other rubbing at the back of his neck. I smiled and extended my hand, "Ven acá," I beckoned as I stood.

He bit his lip, holding his smile, "Breakfast is ready and I _don't_ want you eating out here, Noa."

I sighed and leaned to his chest, wrapping my arms around his waist, "I'll come inside," I conceded, laying my palms flat against his shoulder blades.

He ran his hands down my back, willing warmth to my body, "Hey," he said. I felt his chest rumble with the vibrations of his voice and I looked up, humming. He grabbed my face and leaned to kiss me. He applied the correct amount of pressure into the kiss, leading me slowly to a dip that I knew he wasn't going to allow for me to fall. His tongue lapped mine carefully, his teeth nibbled effortlessly, and when I felt that familiar pull and pushed for more intensity, he pulled away.

He smirked, "Trev—" he interrupted my complaint by pressing his lips against mine, hard. I moaned softly and pushed my body against his, fighting him for dominance, even if it was momentarily. I felt the rumble in his throat as I nipped his upper lip. The burn in my chest caused me to pull back, but not before he captured my bottom lip between his teeth. I breathed through my nose and leaned forward to nip at his top lip. I offered a smile and he responded with one back, releasing my lip from his hold.

We pulled back and I quickly placed a kiss to the corner of his mouth, "I love you," he husked, his blue eyes holding the brown of mine.

"I love you more," I conceded with a smile.

He scoffed and shook his head, "Impossible, but we won't discuss that today," he leaned forward, next to my ear, "Let's eat, that way we can go home and I can ravish you for a while."

I released his waist and tapped on his chest, "Don't threaten me with a good time, Counselor," I finished with a smile as I sidestepped him.

* * *

 **A/N:** I just want to apologize from now, because I know you'll hate me for what's coming next. Just know that everything will be okay. :) Thank you for sticking around, and I hope you stick around for what's coming. I love you all and thank you for your reviews!


	31. Sighted

_**Sighted**_

Three months seemed to course by when you're busy and having fun. I had been offered the temporary position at the DA's Office as Alex's assistant. It had taken me a couple of weeks to fall into the groove of things, but once I had, I had reorganized Alex's schedule effectively and had even gotten her into a habit of using her shared calendar. Alex's previous assistant was out on maternity and scheduled to come back in the next couple of weeks. As per request from Alex, I needed to stick by closely since she was going to need for me to train her former assistant on the new things I had implemented to make the work a little better for her.

Billings had been allowed to come to work with me as long as she wore her vest and she did so every day. Everybody loved her at One Hogan Place and the Judges seemed smitten with her when I would hang around court to see Trevor or deliver paperwork or notes to Alex. I was currently making my way from Alex's office across the street to Supreme Court where she had taken the role of first chair in one of SVU's cases. Summer was upon New York and it could be felt. Also, who could hide behind a twenty-nine weeks pregnant belly?

I was wearing a short bodycon striped dress paired with a blush long-sleeve duster and matching ballet flats. My hair now was incredibly long compared to how I always kept it and I was carrying in my hands a few files and folders that Alex had asked me to bring by. It was a short walk and I was going to make it in time for recess and catch Alex outside of the partition without interrupting the trial. As I was exiting the elevators to walk the slight long stretch to the partition, I could see people exiting and scattering along. I caught a glimpse of Olivia and Carisi as well as Alex.

I was suddenly stopped, "Excuse me, are you Noa Diaz?"

I glanced up and smiled, "I am, how can I help you?"

The man smirked and reached into his pocket, fetching something and handing it to me, "Watch your back, mamasita. He has eyes on you," he finished, shaking his head and disappearing within the crowd.

At first, I thought it was Trevor's doing, but all that changed once I opened the piece of paper that had four small pictures of me sitting at my desk or at court throughout the weeks. In big black letters, he had scribbled: ' _Motherhood becomes you, Noa. x M_ '

I could immediately feel my heart rate quickening and the sudden ring that rung through my ears was painfully deafening. I closed my eyes and counted, hearing in the distance the shrill of Billings' bark. In a matter of seconds everything went quiet and I could hear my name being called. I exhaled and felt my body sway in lightheadedness, "Noa," called out the voice I recognized as Alex's.

I opened my eyes to see Alex standing in front of me with a weak smile on her face whilst Carisi was behind her on his phone, and I felt arms around my waist: Olivia, "W—What happened?" I asked breathily.

"We don't know," Alex responded, "You tell us. We were discussing the case when we heard Billings bark."

"Come on, sweetheart," Olivia beckoned, walking me towards and empty bench, "let's sit down."

"Paramedics are on their way," Carisi said as he approached us, "Noa, h—how are you feeling?"

I sat and placed everything on my lap, feeling a sharp pain on my back and I moaned, leaning forward, and resting my hand on my back, "What? What is it?" Alex asked.

I shook my head and took a shuddering breath, "Braxton-Hicks," I replied, riding the wave of quick pain, "W—Where's Billings?" I asked, looking around. Upon hearing her name, Billings approached me, resting her head on my knee as I ran my fingers between her ears, "Thank you, sweet girl."

"Noa," Olivia begun. I turned my head towards her, "what is this?" she said, grabbing the piece of paper that had been given to me by the man.

I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair, "I was just given that. The man who gave it to me told me to watch my back, that _he_ had eyes on me," I said shakily, watching as Alex stood to walk next to Olivia and look over her shoulder.

"Jesus Christ!" Alex exclaimed, "How the hell was he able to get those pictures, Liv? This is a secured building and he's _wanted_ for Heaven's sake."

"Alex, calm down. We're going to figure this out," Olivia tried.

"Calm down? Calm down? You have got to be kidding me, Olivia," Alex bit back before the paramedics drew her attention away, "She's here, right here," she directed at them.

As the paramedics worked on me and made sure my blood pressure was right and so was my breathing, Trevor arrived, "You called Trevor?" I barked towards Alex.

Alex shrugged slightly and opened her mouth to speak when Trevor cut her off, "Noa, baby, what happened? Are you ok?" he asked rapidly, turning to speak to one of the paramedics, "Is she ok? Is the baby ok?"

The paramedic nodded, "Yes, she's in complete health and so is the baby. Her blood pressure is a little high due to the scare, but she's doing just fine," the paramedic finished and turned to leave with the rest of his team as Trevor walked to where Olivia and Alex were standing with Carisi.

I sighed and placed my elbows to my knees, bringing my face to my hands and breathing out harshly, feeling my hair cascade down my sides, shielding my face. Just when I had gotten remotely comfortable with being outside, here Milo had to come and ruin everything I had built for myself, "Baby," he said, placing one of his hands on my back, rubbing slightly and the other one to my stomach, "Noa, look at me."

I ran my hands through my hair and huffed, turning to look at Trevor's stunning blue eyes, "I'm fine, you heard the paramedic."

Trevor chuckled and smiled, leaning forward to place a kiss to my forehead, "I know you are and so is my little man," he spoke against my skin, "I'm just concerned," he continued, lowering his stare to mines, "I don't want anything to happen to you."

I nodded and pressed our lips together twice, "I don't want anything happening either, Trev. What am I supposed to do? Stay at the apartment?"

"That seems plausible to me," he quipped with a smile.

I shoved his chest playfully, smiling, "Of course it does."

He pulled me by my wrist towards his chest where he wrapped me in his arms, "I want you and my son to be safe, that's all I want," he breathed against my hair, placing a kiss there.

"I know, papi. I know."

Alex cleared her throat as she approached us, "Noa, how are you feeling?"

"Like I have a human being dancing on my bladder," I giggled, going to stand.

Alex sighed and smiled, "Come on, I'll come with you and we'll meet you all back in my office. There's something that needs to be discussed and we have visitors there too."

"I'm not leaving here without Noa, Alex," Trevor grumbled.

"Yes, you will," I replied before Alex had a chance to protest, "I'm still at work, Trevor. Plus, I'll have Alex, Olivia, and Billings to escort me back. I'm ok, I promise."

Trevor scratched at his brow in exasperation, "Come on, Counselor," Sonny said, "You and I both know that it is futile to argue with a woman, especially when she's pregnant."

Trevor scoffed and picked up his briefcase, chuckling, "You can say that again."

Alex and Olivia accompanied me to the restroom and we all made it back to Alex's office. I handed the collapsible travel bowl to Alex, who filled it up with water and placed it on the ground as we all found a place to sit in her office. I was sitting in front of Alex's desk, rubbing on my swell when two agents of the FBI walked in accompanied by Amanda. After introductions were made, the robust male begun speaking, "Hello all, I'm Agent Josh Fulmer and my partner and I investigate white collar crimes."

"What can my Bureau and I do for you gentlemen?" Alex asked, leaning back on her chair.

"We've been building a case for about three years now against Milo Kent," said Fulmer, "Ever since the SVU investigation, he's been AWOL from his job, but his accounts have remained active."

"Ok, so why can't you track where the purchases or withdrawals are being made from?" Trevor asked.

"Because, Counselor, unfortunately he's not dumb. It took us nearly five years to start building a case against him. Milo Kent is anything but dumb. He's covering his tracks a little too well," Fulmer, conceded, "I understand that your detectives have been working this for about six months now?"

"Yes, we have," Olivia, replied, "We've canvassed his work place, home, summer and winter locations, but he's nowhere to be found."

Fulmer nodded, "Federal charges take precedence."

"Like hell they do," I growled.

"I think I know what I'm talking about here ma'am," he attempted to dismiss.

"Although it does not happen very often, there are _no_ legal bars to prosecution in both state and federal court and if anything, the federal government can find a way to charge for both crimes," I mentioned matter-of-factly, watching as Agent Fulmer's face turned in anger.

"Hate to break it to you, Agent Fulmer, but she's right," Alex added, winking and smirking towards me, "Federal law provides very weak protections against a defendant facing charges in both state and federal court, so either we work this together or we continue to work it separately and be at each other's throat."

Agent Fulmer turned to glance at his partner that had remained silent for the entire exchange and once he turned back, he scowled, sighing and nodding dejectedly, "You've got yourself a deal, Cabot."

With that they turned and left, closing the door behind them quickly, "I see that you've picked up something working with Alex, Noa," Trevor purred, smirking.

"I love hearing Alex fight with her ADA's. It's like they love to hear her stern voice," I giggled, earning myself a glare from the blonde.

Olivia and the squad laughed and bid their farewell, asking me to call them if anything else happened, "I have never wanted you more than now," Trevor husked near my ear, causing a shiver to run down my back.

"Oh, don't do that in my office and with me right across from you," Alex said in a disgusted tone, her eyes playful.

"I have to pee again," I mentioned with a rogue smirk.

"Of course you do," Alex replied, moving to shuffle paperwork on her desk, "Just… wash your hands when you're done," she shouted at Trevor and I as we exited her office, giggling to the other.

* * *

By the end of the week, between the Braxton-Hicks and the overall stress the week had provided, I was tired and ready for the weekend. I was submerged in a warm bath to ease the aches and pains my thirty-week belly was causing me. I had soft music playing and was munching absentmindedly on sliced apples whilst rubbing on my belly. I was talking in my native tongue to baby, professing my love, and telling them how we couldn't wait to meet them. We were on the final stretch and we couldn't be more excited. As I'm humming along to the song, I heard Billings' excited bark and I knew Trevor had made it safely in. I heard his mumbled talk with Billings and the rustling through cabinets as he probably looked for Billings' food.

I smiled and rubbed on my belly, "Daddy's here," and as if on cue, I felt them move, "Yes, he's coming."

I heard him groan in the adjacent room, "Noa?" he asked.

I was chewing on a sliced apple when I spoke, "Bathtub."

He walked into the bathroom and sat on the edge of the tub, smiling, "Hey baby, how are you feeling?"

I smirked and leaned forward, beckoning him to me as our lips melded together, "Better, the warm water helps," I said chewing on my apple slice, "They were kicking when I mentioned you."

Trevor smiled and reached for my soapy belly, placing his hand on the center of my stomach. I felt the flutters in my belly and I smiled, looking up at Trevor, "Hey baby," he mused, rubbing on my stomach. He bit his lip as I shuffled in the water, my hair cascading down my back and sticking to my skin, "Did you schedule your appointment with Dr. Crocker?"

I shook my head and leaned back, pulling my hair forward, and closing my eyes, feeling his hands move about my skin, "No, I was waiting for you. You said you wanted to come to this one since you haven't been able to go for the past two ones. I don't know your schedule any longer," I smirked.

I heard Trevor chuckle and I opened my eyes. Watching him be entranced by my enlarged abdomen with a smile on his face, his shirt opened and askew, his hair disheveled, and the slight shading of his beard coming through; I had never been so attracted to him. I smirked and bit my lip, "Stop staring at me, Noa."

I giggled coquettishly, "I can't help myself when the view is as spectacular as mine."

He scoffed and shook his head, running his eyes up my body, "You took it off?"

I furrowed my brow, "Huh?"

"Your nipple ring, you took it off."

"Oh no," I said, moving my hair, "It's just a flex bar with clear balls so it doesn't bother me."

Trevor scooted down, squatting besides the tub, "Let's go to Montauk tomorrow," he deadpanned with a smile.

I leaned forward; folding my arms on the edge, "Want me to yourself this weekend, Counselor?"

He husked his chuckle, "No phones, no work, just Billings and us… until Tuesday."

I widened my eyes and grinned, "Long weekend, too?" he nodded and bit his lip, leaning towards me and claiming my lips seductively.

We dove into the kiss, never deterring from its passion-fueled frenzy when I groaned and hissed, clamping down on Trevor's lip. He winced when I raked my teeth across his lip, releasing it effectively, "Jesus," he breathed out.

I giggled and shook my head, "I'm sorry, your kid is not fond of me not devoting all my attention to them."

Trevor leaned into my lips, "And, you still argue is not a boy. Daddy gets jealous too when Mom clings to Casey or Alex instead of me."

I flicked my tongue against his bottom lip, struggling with my breathing, "Seriously? Jealous of women?"

Trevor chuckled, placing a quick kiss to my lips, "Yes, I know you, Noa."

I threw my head back in laughter, "Apparently not enough if you don't know by now that I will always choose you, baby."

I moved my feet around to unplug the tub and extended my arms to Trevor for him to help me up. He turned around and handed me the towel I had set out before submerging myself in the warm embrace the water provided me. I wrung out my long curtain of hair and preceded to dry my body when I caught him admiring my shape, "You look beautiful, baby."

"Thank you," I said breathily.

Trevor went to speak when his pocket vibrated, "Trevor Langan," he answered with a furrowed brow.

"…"

"Uh, yes. We are currently living together."

"…"

"It will be no problem, we are on our way," he finished, tapping his screen and ending the call effectively.

I smirked and looped my arms around his waist, "Do we have to be on our way to wherever it is you agreed on going? I had plans," I finished, biting my lip.

Trevor scoffed and smiled, shaking his head, "As tempting as that sounds, Noa; that was Agent Fulmer. He wants to see us downtown, apparently there is a lead within your case."

I immediately tensed, feeling in tandem the sinking feeling of my stomach with the movement of my child, "Trev," I breathed out shakily.

He nodded, "Let's get you dressed and we'll see what this is all about," I rested my forehead against his chest, my hands traveling upwards to his shoulder blades, "I'm right here for you, Noa. I won't let anything happen to you, baby. You and my son will be all right, I promise you that."

I nodded and sighed, "I love you."

* * *

 **A/N:** DUN DUN DUN! Lol, follow me on twitter LEArtermis1 for updates, outfit pictures, and just to have a general discussion about the fics I am currently updating! I love when Trevor gets all protective on us... ;)


	32. Gone

_**Gone**_

The severity of everything happening was just beginning to settle as soon as Agent Fulmer directed us to a small room. Trevor and I just looked at each other, attempting to piece everything together, but nothing seemed to make sense. What exactly was going on? Had they caught Milo? Did they know where he was? Was I safe to return to my apartment?

I had been pacing the small office in full force. Trevor stood and watched me rub on my belly and in tandem, my forehead. He couldn't do anything to assuage my ongoing anxiety until I stopped and paced towards him. I looped my arms around his torso and sighed, inhaling his calming scent. He released a breath of air that he had been holding since God knows when and held me tight. We didn't know if we were in danger, we didn't know anything so to say that I was on high alert was an understatement. So much so, that I nearly jumped out of my bones when the door opened.

"Good afternoon Ms. Diaz, my name is Curtis Carter and this is my partner Larissa Frost. We're from the US Marshal's Office," said the tall African-American man.

I smiled weakly and nodded, feeling Trevor ghostly move behind me, "Trevor Langan," he said, extending his arm.

"We're well aware of who you are, Mr. Langan," said the overly tanned woman.

Trevor looked at me and looped his arm around my shoulders, "Why are we here?" I asked.

"Well," begun Larissa, "we have reason to believe that Kent is closer than we may know and unfortunately, _you're_ his main target. In order to protect the state's investigation, we have been asked to intervene."

I felt life leave my body and I stumbled, thankful for Trevor's powerful hold on my body, "Baby," he shouted when he felt my body go limp. I could hear commotion surrounding me and I could feel Trevor's hand on my face, "Noa, please say something to me," Trevor's eyes were filled with concern and I smiled, "Can you stand? Do you want to sit?" he asked softly.

I nodded and felt him direct and move me towards one of the chairs in the room. The Marshals were standing in a corner, waiting for my recuperation before they spoke again, "I'm sorry that this is so upsetting Ms. Diaz, but brace yourself for what comes next," said Curtis, "We're going to place you in Witness Protection until we're able to locate and apprehend Milo Kent."

I felt like I was hearing everything under water when I heard Trevor begin his argument. This was too much, too soon, and I needed quiet to think. I allowed myself to block and tune out everything in my surroundings and succumbed to my safe place. This wasn't just my life that I needed to look out for; I was housing a new life inside of me. A life that was mine to protect at all costs. I couldn't be selfish now, now I had to think about baby's life as well as mine because at the moment, baby couldn't survive without me and honestly, I didn't think I could survive without baby at this point. On the other hand there was Trevor; I wasn't doing this alone and his opinion always mattered. He was the father and we were a team, but sadly, if I had learned anything whilst working at the firm and later on with Alex, was that unfortunately, unless legally married, a couple was not allowed to enter the program if only _one_ of them was the main threat which in this case, was me.

Before I could process and register the words leaving my mouth, they had gone and made the impact I knew they'd make, "What did you just say?" Trevor grumbled, his lip giving a slight tremble.

I blinked and felt the tears stream down my face, "I'll do it," I said breathily.

"Noa, no!" Trevor said, nearly running to wrap me in his arms.

"We'll give you two some privacy. You have five minutes, Ms. Diaz, after that, we have to leave."

"A—Am I allowed to bring Billings?" I asked, knowing that I couldn't function without my dog.

The Marshals looked at each other and shrugged, "Yes, sure. She is a certified animal?" I nodded, "Then yes, it shouldn't be a problem. Five minutes," Curtis gestured before exiting the room.

"Noa, what are you doing?" Trevor said shakily.

I sniffled, "I'm protecting your child, Trev. I don't think I could ever look at your or live with myself knowing that I was offered protection and I let the opportunity go and God forbid, something happens to me or to baby, or worse, the both of us," I took a shuddering breath and felt my tears collect, "I love you, Trevor, with all my heart, but if something happens to baby…" I shook my head and felt the tears fall.

Trevor cupped my face, running his thumbs underneath my lashes to clear my cheeks of the streaks, "W—What am I supposed to do without you both, huh? You both are my life."

I chuckled ruefully, "And, we'll be back, papi. You'll always have me and you'll always have your kid, it's a matter of patience and time."

He shook his head and leaned his forehead against mine, "No," he growled, his tears falling freely, "No, I refuse to let you leave. Y—You promised me you would never leave."

"Trev," I whined, knowing he was being unfair, "Think of _her_ ," I said, directing his hands to my enormous swell. We had agreed that the sex would be a surprise for the birth date, but he loved to call baby 'him' and I knew, if I flipped the script, his resolve could crumble. He wasn't making this easier and I needed him to concede, to be all right with this decision for the sake of our unborn child and mines as well.

"H—Her?" he said shakily.

I nodded and smiled, bringing my hands to cup his face, "Her, the little Noa that will make your heart melt as soon as she gives you that expressive, pleading brown stare. Her, the one we'll argue the most over because you'll be such a pushover. Her, _Daddy's Little Girl_ …"

My words pierced through his chest, breaking his resolve, and breaking him down. He hid his face in my neck, his hands clutching at my stomach gently. I closed my eyes and felt my tears fall rapidly. This wasn't easy, in fact, I would bet that this would be the most painful thing I'd go through and I still hadn't experienced labor or breastfeeding. I soothed my tall lover, raking my fingers through his scalp, and whispering sweet nothings into his ear. I declared my love in more ways than one and he responded the same. We existed momentarily in our bubble, no interruptions, no thoughts of Milo, and no thoughts of the Marshals outside the door.

We broke apart when the Marshals came barreling through the door. Trevor dove into my lips, leaving a burning sensation as his tongue lapped at mines. We could hear the Marshals ushering me, but it didn't matter, this was our moment and _we_ decided when it was done. Trevor sniffled after letting me go, "I love you, Noa. Don't you _dare_ forget that," he said through his teeth.

"We love you, Trevor. We'll be back for you," I said in a breathy sigh.

"All right, that's enough. We have to go, now," grumbled Larissa.

Trevor nodded and closed his eyes as I walked past him. I felt his hand around my wrist and I placed my opposite atop his, "We'll be back, Trev. I promise."

He squeezed my wrist gently and let go.

The next couple of hours were a blur. We had drove to the East Village to pick up Billings and several belongings of mine. Of course, nothing that could identify me or have some type of connection between what would be my new life to my current life. I had packed some of my favorites and a couple of Trevor's shirts that still had his lingering scent, as well as the bottle of my favorite scent of his and exited the building through the sup's door. Frost and Carter had said, over the course of a four hour drive, that I was to stay in a safe house for a couple of days and go through training before they'd place me somewhere. I did not know the details nor was I doing a lot of talking.

In a span of twenty-four hours, everything that I had known was to be uprooted and nearly erased from my memory. All I would have were my thoughts and the memories built. I felt the tinted SUV come to a halt before I was briskly whisked away and ushered inside a warehouse. My brain was still swimming and I still couldn't believe that all of this was real. Just a few hours ago, Trevor and I were planning our weekend and whether or not my next appointment should be in the morning or afternoon. We went through several doors before we ended up in a huge bunker-looking area with many cots and about six other families.

I placed my hands on my stomach and I looked to my side, hearing Billing's collar jingle, "Am I supposed to sleep in one of those?"

Larissa scoffed, "Where else?"

I turned with a glare, "I don't know, somewhere comfier. You _do_ know I am thirty weeks pregnant, or am I not showing?" I sarcastically bit back, tilting my head in amusement.

She narrowed her stare at me and turned, walking away. I shook my head and leaned against the wall, "Billings," I called for her. I felt Billings lean on my leg and sit, my hand immediately finding her head. The hand that had been moving around my stomach quickly moved to my back where I felt my Braxton-Hicks contraction.

"Braxton-Hicks," said a woman to my far right.

"Yea," I said breathily, smiling.

"That means they're almost here," she approached me, "How far along are you?"

"Uh," I said, sighing, attempting to catch my breath, "thirty weeks."

The woman chuckled at my labored breathing, "Imagine going through that, but with twins."

I laughed and nodded, thankful for the distraction, "Oh no, I think I would've killed him if my doctor would've said there were two in here."

"Hey, one day there's one and four weeks later she told me there were two. I almost killed my husband that night," she said, "Agent Hornbeak, Sheila Hornbeak."

I shook her hand and stammered, "I—I don't know if I should tell you my real name or wait until I get my fake one," I chuckled dryly.

"It's ok. I'm here to get you through training. I saw you walking in with Frost and Carter, how's that going?"

I rolled my eyes and gave her a side-glance. She chuckled and nodded, "Is she always so uptight?" I sighed.

"Not always, but it'll take some warming up to. Hopefully you're not in here too long, I'm sure it must be hard being away from your boyfriend."

I widened my eyes, "How—"

"Oh honey, you're walking in, busting out of your seams, no man at your side, he was definitely a boyfriend or a fiancée. Unless it's legally binding, they won't allow for boyfriends or girlfriends to join the program," she awarded with a smile.

I nodded and gave back her smile when Marshal Frost returned, "Come on, Diaz," she said, "Is a recliner good enough?"

"Perfect," I said, smiling at Agent Hornbeak.

Marshal Frost led me through a set of doors and down a hallway. She walked purposefully in front of me and I did all that I could to keep up when she glanced back and noticed the struggle I was having. She sighed and slowed her pace as I offered her a smile. At the very end of the hallway was a door and once we crossed it, I noticed we were in some sort of lounge where a couple of suits were. I smiled at the other people in the room bashfully and lowered my head, all of a sudden feeling watched and uncomfortable. We crossed the room and through another door, _Jesus, so many fucking doors_.

This door led to a quiet area where several leather recliners were at, "You can take whichever one you'd like," Marshal Frost offered, standing against the door to allow me through.

I nodded and walked past her, walking to the one at the far back in order to not bother anyone. As I sat, Billings barked at me, hinting at the fact that she needed to be let out in order to relief herself, "Oh Bills," I whined, leaning back against the chair and feeling the sudden rock of it.

"Does she need to go outside?" Larissa asked.

I nodded and rubbed at my swell, "She does," I said laboriously, "Between our journey here and us having left the apartment to meet you, Trevor and I didn't really get a chance to take her out."

Larissa nodded, "I can take her for you, I know you're tired and it's getting pretty late anyways."

I offered a thin-lipped smile and nodded, "Billings," I called for her, watching as she circled around and raised her ears, "Outside time," I mentioned, watching as the dog wagged her tail, "Call for her, she'll go with you. She's trained off leash so you shouldn't have any problems with callback."

Larissa nodded and called for Billings and I saw as Billings looked between the overly tanned woman and I. I shook my head and beckoned her to go. Once Larissa and Billings were out of the room, I closed my eyes and allowed my feelings to take over. My thoughts were flooded by that of the tall man that I had left behind, the father of my unborn child, the love of my life, the man that with a single look had the capability of doing what he pleased with me. I could feel the tears stream down my cheeks and I could feel my body shake with silent sobs. I brought my hands to my swell and pondered, why was this happening? Why did I agree to this? I didn't want to be here without Trevor, could I go back? Could I retract from my decision of being in the program? What would happen if I were to decide that I didn't want to do this any longer? And then, like magic, baby kicked, reminding myself why exactly I had decided to this in the first place.

They were the reason for me sitting here in a bunker, by myself, crying. They were the reason I decided that being in the program would be the more plausible thing to do, even if it meant leaving behind everything that I knew, even if it meant leaving behind everything that I loved, even if it meant starting over as a complete different person. As a person I didn't know. As a person whose identity was being taught by people who had fabricated this persona in order to protect the _real_ me, in order for the real me to return to that life that had been placed on pause, and hopefully find everything in its place and as complete as possible.

It was a stretch, but the only thing that would help me through this was the fact that I had a piece of what was my old life with me. I had my unborn child who would be a constant reminder of what my life would've been with Trevor. This little piece of the both of us, hidden away in my womb, would be the only thing tethering me—us, to Trevor Elijah Langan III and the rest of the Langan family. My mother was still in the dark about my pregnancy and assault, and my sister had an inkling something had happened to me during the holidays because I had avoided her completely afterwards and just recently allowed for her to see me with my swollen belly. Imagine her surprise and though she could tell that something was wrong, she just attributed it to the pregnancy. I had told her to keep her mouth shut about it to our mother, the less toxicity in my pregnancy, the better.

I heard Billings' collar jingle and I sniffled; wiping at my face, attempting to conceal the fact that I'd been nearly balling my eyes out when her and Marshal Frost walked in the small room, "Noa," she mentioned tentatively, approaching me slowly.

I looked up at her and smiled sadly, "I'll be fine."

She sighed and shook her head, "You are one stubborn woman, do you know that?" I chuckled softly and nodded, "Listen," she begun, taking a seat next to the recliner, "this is hard, I know this, but this is also for your safety and that of your child's. My bosses, Curtis, and I all had a screaming match when the FBI brought forth the case of Kent. He's a dangerous man, Noa."

"Oh," I scoffed, "trust me, I know."

She nodded dejectedly, "I'm sorry, I don't mean to seem… insensitive to your feelings."

"No," I shook my head, "you aren't, it's just… Trevor," I said, my voice wavering and disappearing.

Marshal Frost placed a hand atop my knee and squeezed, "I know _that_ , too. But, we do offer counseling and I know that I haven't been the peachiest, but my job is to keep you safe and alive. I don't have time for pleasantries most of the time and neither do I have time to go easy on you. The moment I let my guard down, could be the moment something happens."

I placed my hand on hers and squeezed, nodding, I responded, "I know, and I appreciate and value your dedication for my safety."

She nodded and offered a thin-lipped smile as she stood, "Rest up, tomorrow you'll start training. You'll be given your new identity then."

I nodded and returned her smile, "Thank you," I finished, watching her leave.

* * *

 **A/N:** I'm sorry! Before I start getting the attacks, lol. Remember to follow me on twitter LEArtemis1 for updates, chats, or whatever else. Review, review, review! :)


	33. Drunken Stupor

_**Drunken Stupor**_

(Trevor's POV)

I was alone, driving to my home to find it empty with her not around, with Billings not greeting me at the door. And, though that had happened on more than one occasion, I knew she wasn't far away. She was always a twenty-minute drive away, but not this time. This time, only God knew where she was, and all I knew was that she wasn't near me. Her and my child were gone and there would be no trace of them in my home, in _our_ home.

As I drove, I could feel my anger boil. Anger towards Milo, anger towards Noa, anger towards the Marshals, anger towards the detectives, anger towards the FBI… I was angry with everybody, including myself for not being able to protect her—them better.

I knew the sentiment was crazy. Why would I be mad at Noa? This wasn't her fault. But, still, I couldn't shake the thought of her leaving me because she got offered an out. Ludicrous, I know; but, still very present and very vivid in my thoughts. Just a couple of hours ago, she was submerged in our tub, her protruding belly floating atop the soapy water, her skin glistening like it did whenever it got wet or when the sun bounced off of her skin, her long hair sticking to her chest, covering her breasts, all of that accompanied by that beautiful smile. The one she only seem to reserve just for me.

As my thoughts slowly dissipated, my consciousness returned, letting me know that I had made it safely home despite my attention being everywhere but the road. I sighed heavily, turning off the engine and exiting the vehicle, somberly walking towards the elevator. My head hung loose on my neck, my shoulders slumped, and my posture exuded woe. If I had seen myself walking down the street, looking like I was looking, I would've deemed myself a target for anyone looking someone to bully on this Friday evening. I placed the fob in its hub, listening to the whirring as it gave me access to my dwelling, and once inside, everything looked completely normal.

I closed the door behind me; pacing towards the kitchen and noticing the mug she had used that morning before work. I smiled softly, exiting the area, and tripping slightly over Billings' food bowl. I sighed dejectedly, tossing my keys atop the kitchen counter, and continuing my journey to my living room. It hit me, like a powerful slap to my face, her scent. This is where she had stood lastly before being whisked away for who knew how long. I felt the nostalgia creep up my body, rapidly making its presence known as my tears slowly gathered.

How could I stand to stay here anymore after having her memory plastered _everywhere_ in this apartment?

How could I sit on my couch without reverting back to the afternoon where Miranda made her presence known just for us to make love standing right there? Yes, make love, because that could never be fucking. Too many emotions were involved at that moment; tears were easily flowing to call that act of pleasure 'fucking'.

How could I use my stove without reminiscing on the sweet gesture she had taken to tell me I was going to be a father?

How could I sit in my home office without picturing her between my legs, diverting my attention from my work to what she was capable of doing with her mouth?

How could I even muster up the courage to enter my room without seeing, feeling, smelling everything that she was?

A rogue tear escaped my eyes, making a mockery at the façade I had put on for the sake of my well-being and ego. I ran my fingers through my hair and abruptly turned, grabbing my keys, and exiting my apartment. I couldn't be there, not right now. I needed a drink, something stiff that would make me forget. As I reached my car, I dialed the only person I knew would step out at this time with me, "Henshall, meet me at Flannery's."

* * *

"Alex, thanks for coming," Henshall said breathily, "I've been trying to call Noa, but her phone is disconnected?"

"What the hell happened, Robert?" I heard Alex bite back.

"He called me up for drinks and everything was going fine up until an hour ago. He started mumbling something along the lines of 'what's wrong with me' and I didn't notice how fast he was chucking his drinks. Next thing I know he's stumbling and now this," he said.

"You should've called me the _second_ Noa didn't answer," Alex sighed, "It's fine, help me get him up."

I felt arms underneath my armpits and I chuckled. Noticing Alex was holding me by my waist, I threw my arm around her, placing all my weight on her small form, "Alex," I slurred, shouting, "Are you here to drink with me? Henshall's being a pussy and wants to cut me off."

"As he should," she replied, "You were slumped over that toilet bowl pretty badly there, Langan."

"That just means," I slurred, using my finger to emphasize, "I can continue drinking because life... has given me a second chance."

"Trevor, give Alex a break, bud," Henshall interrupted, "She can't carry your big ass."

"Noa can," I retorted quietly, automatically feeling my tears sting at the back of my eyes.

"I'll take you to her, don't you worry. She can deal with your stupid, drunk self," Alex huffed, "What the hell possessed you into getting this drunk anyways?"

We had effectively exited the bar and stumbled to my SUV at the end of the curb where I had surprisingly found a spot, "This dumbass got a ticket," Henshall mentioned with a chuckle, "Don't you have booze in your home that you were in such a hurry to get here and drink?"

"I didn't," I hiccuped, feeling the slight aftertaste of bile as I swallowed, "I didn't want to be home. I don't have a home," I said forcefully.

"Trevor," Alex rolled her eyes, clearly annoyed at my ramblings, "What the hell are you talking about? Shut up, and get in the back."

She let go of me and left Henshall to handle my body. As Henshall accommodated me on the back, he mumbled something to Alex unintelligible to me. Alex blasted the a/c as she often did when first entering a car, and we drove silently from the bar to my home, giving me time to gently collect myself. Yes, I was heavily tipsy, but I was still very much aware of what was happening in my surroundings.

Alex placed the car in park and walked towards the back, opening the door, "Come on," she said silently, catching my bloodshot eyes, "Oh Trevor, Noa's going to kill you."

She smiled mirthfully, shaking her head in amusement. I couldn't help but think of the woman I loved so and that beautiful smile of hers, those searing brown eyes that had the power to bend my every will. I felt the tears continuously burning at the back of my eyes and the tight knot that had formed at the back of my throat, but I couldn't let Alex see my pain. Everyone needed to believe that I was fine. I had to protect her; I needed to do better by her and my son. Though, she had said daughter… _my girls_. I had to do better by _my girls_.

"Almost there, Trevor," Alex chanted, struggling with my weight as we reached my door. She unlocked the door and pushed it open, calling out for Noa. Every time she mentioned her name, I'd wince from the pain of my heart breaking, and my resolve crumbling just a little further. Alex walked me to the couch, plopping me down as she returned to shut the door and head to the kitchen, "Noa, where the hell are you?" she shouted once more.

I leaned back and closed my eyes, willing my tears to stay put. I could do this; all I needed to do now was will Alex out of my apartment, "Alex," I begun, slurring my words.

"Hush," she reprimanded, handing me a glass of water, "You don't get to talk until Noa deals with you," she mentioned with a giggle.

"Alex," I tried again.

"Drink the water, it'll do you good," she continued, leaving behind me to my room upstairs. I did as she bid and drank the water, feeling my body react to the welcoming liquid. I quickly heard her on the stairs again, "She's not here," she mused, "That's odd, neither is Billings, she would've already been at the door when we walked in."

Alex reached for her phone, no doubt attempting to call Noa, "What?" she shook her head, "Trevor, why is Noa's phone number disconnected?"

I groaned, attempting to reel in my emotions, but they were forcing their way out rather quickly. I could still smell her, I could still feel her, I could still hear her voice, and it was driving me insane. The continuous feel of Noa's presence had drowned out Alex's voice and I had had enough when I heard the crash and yelp that came from Alex. I opened my eyes to find myself breathing heavily and a terrified expression on Alex's face as she clutched her chest. I had made the glass tumbler fly across my living room where it crashed and shattered against the wall.

"I'm sorry," I said breathily, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I repeated, hitting my temples with the heels of my hands.

"Stop, stop," Alex said, prying my hands away from my face, "Why are you sorry? What's going on?"

I shook my head, was I really about to put in danger—again—the two beings in this world that meant more than life to me? Was I really about to jeopardize the lives of my girls just because I couldn't keep it together?

"Trevor answer me, what are you sorry for?"

"She's gone," I whispered, feeling a sob break through my body.

"What?" Alex said, leaning to search my face.

"She's gone," I repeated myself.

Alex grabbed my face with both of her hands, bringing my eyes up to hers, "I can't hear you, Trev. Who's gone?"

"Noa," I mumbled, feeling my tears fast down my cheeks, "They took her away."

Alex's brow was pulled in confusion, "Who are _they_? Where did they take her?"

"Because of Milo," I continued, "Because of that fucking bastard, I don't have my girls with me. I wont see my daughter; I'll miss her first words… Noa _needs_ me."

Alex's eyes danced across my face and I knew she wondered if it was my drunken stupor talking, if I was being incoherent because of my lack of self-control. But, it all registered then and she gasped, pulling me into her embrace, hugging me tightly, "She's in WITSEC," she mentioned.

I nodded against her chest as I wrapped my arms around her, "They—They took her a couple of hours ago. W—We got called in by Agent Fulmer and now she's gone, Lex," I buried my face deep in her chest, forcing her to lean back, "I was going to propose this weekend," I whispered against Alex's chest, hearing her whimper, "I was going to make her my wife. She—She was going to be mine and now she's gone," I finished loudly, a sob wracking through, making me lose all remaining composure.

Alex's hands roamed my back, "I'm sorry," she whispered, "I'm so sorry," she said, tightening her arms around me.

I sniffled, "What am I supposed to do now? How am I supposed to live?"

Alex remained quiet until I felt her clear her throat, "You keep on going," she relinquished, "You have to be strong and resilient for your daughter and for Noa. They need that from you, Trevor. Noa has to come back to the Trevor she knew, to the Trevor she _loves_. And, your daughter, Trev," she paused, pulling my face upwards to hers, "Your daughter has to come and meet a man that she can put her trust into, a man that she can turn to and believe she'll be protected. You cannot be anything less than amazing for that little girl," she leaned her forehead against mine, "They need you now more than ever."

I closed my eyes as more tears fell, "I need them, too."

Alex shook her head, "I know, I know, and I'm here for you. Casey, Emily, and I will be here for you. You can't do this again, Trevor! You can't isolate and self-destruct, that's not fair."

Her words had hit me like a freight train. All this time, after the whole Miranda ordeal, I had isolated, cried by myself, often times drink myself into a hole until all the pain and sorrow had dissipated. And, I had only thought of myself, not stopping to once think that maybe, throughout this whole thing, I had hurt more people than I had thought of hurting, and never did I realized the damage I'd done.

"I can't stay here, Alex. Everywhere I look, she's there. I can't stay here right now, please."

Alex nodded, kissing my forehead, "All right, you can stay with us; for as long as you want, for as long as you need. I'll pack you a bag."

I nodded and sniffled, bringing our bodies up to a straighter position, "Noa—Noa moved my garment bags to downstairs," I said, clearing my throat and wiping at my face, "I now have the left side in my bathroom," I mentioned with a chuckle.

Alex smiled, "Funny how that works, huh?" she said, squeezing my thigh and going to stand.

"Alex," she hummed, "Thank you!" she smiled and nodded, mouthing 'I love you' to me, "I love you, too."

I saw her disappear behind me and go downstairs to search for my garment bags as well as a duffel bag. I stood and sniffled, feeling a little lighter now that I had shared my burden and pain with one of the people closest to me. I climbed the stairs rather quickly, keeping my stare trained on my feet. I approached my closet to look for suits and shirts and I noticed what she'd done. There they were, three empty hangers amidst a sea of full ones. And, the weird thing of it all, I knew exactly which shirts she had taken. The button down I wore the day of her interview, the one I wore when she told me I was to be a father, and she took another random shirt, no doubt one of her favorites. I smiled and shook my head.

She needed me just as much as I needed her. She needed me more than I gave her credit for. And, as I brought out shirts and suits, searched my drawers for undershirts, underwear, and socks, I turned to face the bed, noticing in the middle of the bed that damned plush animal. I smiled, slowly approaching the bed to reach for that whimsical sloth that I had teased her so much about. I grabbed it, and turned to sit on the bed, bringing the toy to my nose and inhaling its lavender infused scent. It smelled of her. It smelled of her and me together with just an underlay of the lavender that she loved so much. That was it for me. I could immediately feel my shoulders shake as the plush animal absorbed my tears.

I felt arms surround me and I rested my head against Alex's abdomen, bringing my arms to surround her waist, clutching at the sloth's seams as I broke down in Alex's hold, "Trevor," she whispered.

"Why—Why does it hurt so much?"

I felt Alex's sharp breath intake, "Because it's real," she said as she moved her hand in a circle on my back, "it's fresh, it's going to take some time."

I shook my head and tightened my hold on the thin woman in front of me, "I don't want time," I growled, tightening my hold on the plush in my hand, "Alex, I don't want time," I finished in a whimpering whisper.

"This is _not_ about you anymore, Trevor Langan. This is about Noa and that baby's safety," she relented, placing her hands on my shoulders. I went to respond, but I could only whimper, "Look at me," she beckoned, but I only shook my head, "Look at me, Trevor!"

"Alex," I whimpered.

"Look at me," she demanded again, grabbing and bringing my chin upwards, "You don't get to showcase that beautiful selfish trait that makes you so incredible at times," she chuckled, "Weren't you going to make Noa your wife this weekend?"

I furrowed my brow and nodded, "Yes, I want her to be my wife. That sentiment will never change."

"Ok," Alex said with a smile, her bottom lash line working overtime to prevent the fall of the tears that had collected, "then, wouldn't you want your wife to be the mama bear that protects her children against all odds? Because even when you have them securely clutched underneath your wing, she's still looking out for any possible corner that you might've not searched. She's doing her job, Trevor. She's protecting your child even if that means temporarily losing you. It is your job now to protect and build so that when she comes back, she can find comfort, and be at peace in your arms."

"And, in the mean time, where do I find comfort and peace, Alex?"

"In me," she mentioned simply, allowing for a tear to escape, "you find your comfort and peace in me. And, if I'm not around, seek for it in Emily. You know she's always looking forward in spending time with 'Uncle Trev'. We are here for you, Trevor. You don't have to go through this alone," she finished, running her thumb over my cheekbone.

I sighed and smiled weakly, Lex was right, I didn't have to go through this alone, and like she had said before, I couldn't go down the path of self-destruction again. Noa and my child needed for me to be strong and as put together as possible for their return. Whether it was in a month or in a year, I needed to be prepared and ready for their return. They didn't deserve half a man; _she_ definitely didn't deserve half of a man. She deserved me.

* * *

 **A/N:** Oh, Trevor... Review for his sake.


	34. Lynnhaven

_**Lynnhaven**_

Three days of training.

Three days of learning my new identity.

Three days of unbearable Braxton-Hicks.

Three days of bickering, and three days of crying.

Today was the day that I got to move—finally—into my new place somewhere near Virginia Beach, VA. I was surprised they hadn't moved me further away. I was only eight hours away from the city, but then again, no one knew that but me... and the Marshals'.

The safe house had been somewhere between Maryland and DC and now, I was back in the heavily tinted SUV with Marshals Frost and Carter reviewing my new identity, "What's your name?" asked Larissa, the one who'd been testing me these past couple of days.

"Natalie White," I answered.

"When were you born?"

"January 13th, 1989."

"Where are you from?"

"I grew up in the suburbs of Fort Worth, Texas."

"Where are your parents?"

"I don't know my biological parents. I was adopted at the age of ten, and the White's raised me then."

"Where's the father of your baby?"

I faltered at the question and couldn't help but think of Trevor; his smile, the warmth in his eyes, the softness of his hair… "Natalie? Natalie!"

I shook my head and felt my eyes water. I cleared my throat and spoke, "H—He died in a car accident… it's why I decided to move here."

"What do you do for work?"

"I haven't found anything yet, but I have a degree in Journalism."

"And, what's your name again, _Noa_?"

"It's Natalie," I responded, sighing in relief of having passed the test that Larissa had placed in front of me.

Larissa looked at Curtis and nodded, "You've done really good these past couple of days, Natalie. I know I haven't been the easiest one to get along with, but please know that I'm just looking out for you."

I nodded and smiled at the overly tanned woman, "Thank you."

She turned and reached into the glove compartment, "Here," she said, handing me a thick manila folder, "Those are your new legal documents: birth certificate, social security card, license, debit card, high school and college diploma, references for any potential jobs, and several other documents one may need."

"I'm about to give birth soon, Frost. No one is going to hire me," I deadpanned.

"For now, you can work at a local coffee shop that is owned by one of our coworkers. His brother runs the joint and he has let him know that a friend is in need of a job. We have set up a phone interview with a company looking for a 'freelance proofreader'. If you get it, it's good money and you'll get to stay home with the kid once they're here. You could still work part-time at the coffee shop if so you desire," she said quickly. She noticed that I was still holding the manila envelope quite awkwardly and she turned on her seat, reaching her hand towards mine, "Hey Natalie, I know this is hard, but it's temporary. Before you know it, you'll be back with your loved ones."

A tear escaped my eyes and I nodded, quickly wiping away my cheek. I leaned back and closed my eyes, feeling Billings' head rest atop my swollen stomach. I placed one hand on my belly and the other one on Billings' head, my fingers disappearing in her fur. Before I knew it, I was being gently shaken into a wake state, "Welcome to your new home, Natalie."

I shook the sleep off of my face and hopped off the SUV. Standing in front of the collection of condos, I smiled. They were very beautiful and quaint looking. I noticed an older blue Jeep parked on the curb next to the SUV, but paid it no mind. It was the middle of the day so; mostly everybody would be at work. Billings had hopped off the SUV and was now sniffing the grass and walking in circles to relieve herself. Four hours in confinement could do that to you.

I walked inside the home and noticed a door and stairs to my right, the kitchen and dining room to my left, and a short hallway with a closet that opened into the living room in front of me. I climbed the stairs carefully and once upstairs, there were two rooms to my right, the bathroom right in front, and two doors to the left; one of them being a small linen closet. The home was completely furnished and one of the rooms had been decorated in light tones of yellow and green and housed a beautiful white crib with a matching reclining chair and changing table. I smiled and felt the sting of tears burn at me. I heard my new name being called out and I turned to return downstairs where Curtis had been hauling my suitcase in followed by Billings.

"Here are the keys to your home and the Jeep," _ooh, so it is mine, cool_ , "On top of the table are important numbers, including ours. We've left the address of the coffee shop on there too and the phone numbers for your phone interview tomorrow at ten sharp, don't forget. Also," Curtis reached into his pocket, "this is your new cellphone and here's your new number. Remember your training; go over it on your own if you must. If your cover happens to be blown, you call either one of us _immediately_. You know the phrase, and no speaking Spanish."

"You've got to be fucking kidding me," I said under my breath.

"Rules are rules," he replied smugly, "I'll take this upstairs to your room," he finished, grabbing my suitcase, and disappearing up the stairs.

I walked down the hallway and stood next to Frost, whom had busied herself with sweeping the home, and making sure nothing was out of place, "How long will I be here?" I said weakly.

"I don't know, Natalie," she answered turning to me, "I know you don't want to be here and it's not easy being in your... condition and away from loved ones, but this is the only way we can protect you both."

By her statement I knew she was talking about Trevor and I, not my unborn child and I. Yes, we were in protection now, but staying in New York would've meant living in fear and hiding. Not knowing if that shadow you saw was truly just a shadow or _him_ lurking in the shadows. I rather live with a new persona than in fear, it was not who I was. Noa Diaz was a fighter, she was resilient.

Frost placed a hand on my shoulder, giving it a squeeze before walking away, "Stay safe, Natalie. Call us if you need anything."

And, just like that, I was alone once more. I walked to the large sectional and plopped down, resting my elbows on my knees, and my face in my hands where I broke down. I was alone. All I had was Billings and the baby. I cried for what felt like hours, Billings had howled and attempted to sneak her head between my hands and my face before giving up and just licking at my hands for me to know that she was there with me. I sniffled and stood, ridding my face of any tears and walked back towards the front door, opening the door to what I hoped was a powder room. Inside, I washed my face, relieved myself, and cleared my nostrils before stepping out.

I walked to the table and grabbed the keys to my Jeep, "Come on Billings, let's go buy you food, sweet girl."

* * *

 **TWO WEEKS LATER**

I woke up to a sharp pain coursing down my legs and I sat up, wincing in pain as I leaned towards my bedside table. Two in the morning, it was two in the morning and this baby was active and most likely sitting on my sciatic nerve. I stood and walked carefully towards the bathroom, sitting on the toilet, and relieving myself. I felt pain all over and I thought that sitting this straight was causing this ridiculous amount of pain. Once done, I stood, placing my shorts back on my hips and rubbing at my swollen belly. I had begun sleeping in shorts and a tank due to the heat of the July nights and the heat that coursed through my body.

In the two and a half weeks of being in the program, I had met and somewhat befriended my across the street neighbor, Claudette. A young mother of two whose children had been most taken with Billings. The younger of her two boys called her 'The Pirate', due to her missing eyeball. I had also landed the freelancing job and was working part-time at the coffee shop on the Virginia Beach Boardwalk, which was a ten-minute drive from my home in Lynnhaven. I spent most of my afternoons with Claudette, Micah, and young Trevor either at the park, shopping or just at the beach. It had been a fast-paced two weeks, but I was grateful for the young beauty and her two sons.

By now, I had made it downstairs and was rummaging through the kitchen with Billings at my heels, "Bills, move! I'm going to step on you and it won't be pretty," I grumbled as I felt another Braxton-Hicks hit me at full force, "Jesus, baby," I said, rubbing at my stomach, "Relax for Mami, please. You can't be this active this early, corazón."

I knew the Marshals had prohibited my speaking of the Spanish language, but who were they to tell me not to speak it in my home? I had managed to prepare my tea with little pain and I walked to the living room, sitting and propping my left leg up on the ottoman, which always seemed to help my aches. I turned on the TV and absentmindedly begun searching the channels. I settled for a re-run of _Pretty Woman_ when a surge of movement from my stomach jolted me forward, "Jesus," I mumbled, clutching my stomach. Billings let out a bark mixed with a howl and I scolded her, she knew better than to make noise so early in the morning. The tea seemed to settle the baby and soon enough, I had drifted into sleep.

It must've been about two to three hours when the pain became ridiculously unbearable and I stood from the couch, clutching underneath my belly button, "Baby please," I tried, feeling my tears fall, "You know I don't have Papa with me, please," I said breathily when the back pain was nearly too much and I stumbled. Billings had hopped off the couch and was quickly at my side, steadying me when she barked again, "What is with you two today, huh?" I went to take a step forward and felt pressure in between my legs and then it hit me, _am I in labor? Shit! I'm in labor!_ I went to sit back down on the couch and grabbed my phone, dialing nine-one-one as quickly as I could.

" _Nine-one-one, what is your emergency?_ " the operator asked.

"Uh," I grunted, feeling the full force of the contraction hit me, "My name is No—Natalie White, I live in 501 Sugar Mill Ct and I believe I'm in labor."

" _All right, Miss White, is there anyone you can wake in your home that could take you to the nearest emergency room? The ambulance will be there in seven minutes._ "

"No ma'am," I said through gritted teeth, the next contraction only two minutes apart, "I live by myself and I don't have family nearby either."

" _What about a neighbor?_ " she quickly responded.

"Y—Yes," I said breathily.

" _Okay, Miss White, can you walk?_ "

I chuckled dryly and felt the next contraction, "No, my dog had to nearly hold me up."

" _I figured, your contractions are every two minutes, that's cutting it pretty close. Okay Natalie, my name is Betty. Can you give me your neighbor's phone number?_ "

With shaky hands I searched through my few contacts and dictated the phone number to Betty. Betty called and within a contraction, Claudette had opened my door with the spare key, "Nat!" she called out.

"Here," I grunted.

"Oh my God," she said as she found me propped between Billings and the couch, "Here, let's lay you down."

In the distance the ambulance could be heard, "B—Betty, I don't think I'll make it to the hospital," I said to the woman on the other side.

" _Put Miss Claudette on the phone_ ," she said, and I handed the phone to Claudette.

Claudette mumbled briefly before paramedics came through my door. Everything was a slight blur as they prepared and settled between my legs; "Guys, baby's crowning!" called the paramedic between my legs.

Two other rushed in with fluids that were placed in my arm expertly, "All right darling, what's your name?"

A contraction hit me and instinctively, I pushed, easing the pain coursing through my body, "N—Natalie," I said, swallowing hard.

"Okay Natalie, baby's almost here. We can see the forehead. I know it hurts, but push as hard as you can when the next contraction hits you, okay?"

I nodded and breathed hard, "C—Claude," I shouted out.

"I'm here, I'm here," she said, coming to my side and grabbing my hand, "I know you can do this, you're the strongest person I know!"

I began laughing when the contraction hit me and I pushed, "That's it, that's it; head's out!" called the paramedic, "And, relax."

The pain was bone breaking and almost concentrated on my lower abdomen and back, like a menstrual cramp multiplied by five thousand. It was horrendous, but as I mused about the pain, the next contraction came and I was coaxed to push. Between the paramedic and Claudette, they let me know that the shoulders were out and once that next contraction came, it was like emptiness ran through my body. Everything was silent and a grounding weight was placed below my breasts.

The soft coos of the baby atop me slowly brought everything back, "It's a girl!" said Claudette, placing a kiss to my forehead.

I felt the tears free-fall gently as I wrapped my arms around my daughter. She was beautiful! She had curly, sand brown hair, bronzed skin—like me—and the most adorable protruding-shaped eyes, "What's the name, mama?" asked Claudette.

"Theodora," I breathed out, feeling the paramedics move about, ensuring we were both safe, "Theodora Juliette."

I stroked my thumb across Theodora's face when the paramedic spoke again, "All right Mama, why don't we hand the baby to Mommy so that you can deliver your placenta?"

I looked up at Claudette and giggled, "Claude?" I asked expectantly, noticing the amused face of the woman next to me. She smiled and took Theo in her arms, making sure she was bundled and receiving enough body warmth. Delivering the placenta took less than fifteen minutes. The paramedics had cut the umbilical cord for me and had asked if I wanted to keep the afterbirth to which I replied yes. I'd had a conversation with Claudette and she turned hers into a salve for her cracked nipples due to breastfeeding. He made sure proper protocol was taken and afterwards, we rode in the ambulance to the hospital. Theodora had been early, I was only thirty-three weeks pregnant and a doctor had to check her out.

At the hospital, we were rushed in to a LDR floor where she was weighted, checked, and gently prodded. She was also bathed and bundled and brought back to me to allow for breastfeeding. Thankfully, Theo didn't need NICU stay, which I was grateful and relieved for. Theo, though born early, was a healthy and happy baby. After I had breastfed, Claudette showed up at the hospital with a beautiful arrangement basket with clothing, diapers, and other essentials for Theo. I had commented that I only had diapers, wipes, towels, and some clothing and socks since I didn't exactly know the gender of my then unborn child. Claudette had been a blessing in disguise and so had been her family.

I was having a nice cuddle session with Theodora inside my gown, having skin on skin contact when she stirred slightly, yawning, and as finished her yawn she snuggled in closer, fisting the ends of my hair as she whimpered. Do you know who else did that when they slept? Trevor did. She had his mannerisms when he slept and in my fragile, hormonal state, I couldn't handle it. I cried. My tears falling shamelessly from my eyes, but I wasn't upset, I was filled with love. I could radiate it, but I missed him. He had missed the birth of his daughter and from this point forward, he would continue to miss milestones upon milestones, and that just continued to break my heart.

Claudette approached the bed, placing her hand on my shoulder, "Natalie, sweetheart," she spoke.

I turned my head towards her, running my hands down Theo's back, "She has his mannerisms," I whispered with a smile.

"Oh, sweets," she relented with a somewhat sad smile, wrapping her arm around my shoulders, "He'll manifest through her at all times now."

"I miss him, Claude. It isn't fair that he's missing this," I whimpered, wiping my tears.

She rubbed my arm, pulling me towards her, "I know, I know," she kissed my temple, "But, he's not too far."

I nodded, acknowledging her words. Though she didn't know that Trevor was in fact alive, I had to play it safe, "Thank you, Claude. Can you record a little video so that I can send to my parents?"

She smiled brightly, "Of course," she mentioned with a bright smile.

* * *

 **A/N:** Just a little soft chapter to ease from the pain of the previous chapter and the upcoming one. Review, review!


	35. Framed

_**Framed**_

(Trevor's POV)

It took me almost nine months to track down the photographers that had been present the night of the gala of the ALIA. The night Henshall and I had won the award for 'Best Law Firm of the Year'. I had paid all of them to send me the pictures they had taken of Noa and I, regardless of whether it was a posed picture or a candid one, I wanted them. I had told them to send them to the firm and they had arrived some time during the week. Of course, I had to open the array of photographs the day of her birthday, because I wasn't miserable enough without her and my child. Jeanine had been most gracious and had given them to Becca, my new assistant. Becca was no Noa that much could be said, but she got the job done and she did so efficiently.

Henshall loved to quip that she had a crush on me, but in all honesty, I could care less about the unrequited feelings the blonde had for me. My heart belonged to Noa, wherever she was with my child, my heart was there with them.

I sat on my chair, my right hand at my mouth whilst my left one held my favorite shot out of the array of roughly twelve photos. It was a candid shot of Noa and I. Her right arm looped around my waist and she had the most impish smile held by her teeth as she looked up at me with an equally playful stare. I was beaming down at her, my left arm looped around her back, holding her close to me as I grinned at her flirtatious glance. I remembered what was going on when the photographer had snapped this picture.

She had just finished winking at me and I had scoffed in amusement, never one to be able to resist her rogue demeanor. I smiled and reveled in how happy we were at that moment, not knowing what the future held out for us. I felt the tears gather and collect at my bottom lash line and I swallowed hard, clearing my throat in an attempt to keep them at bay. I'd done enough crying in the last couple of months away from her for a lifetime and though I knew this would take time and adjusting, it was still a fresh wound. She wasn't here with me; my child—whom could've been born already—was not here with me. I was alone, in my complete solitude, the only people in my corner: Alex, Casey, and Emily. Little Em asked me nearly every day for her and when would the baby be here.

I loved the love she had for Noa, but she couldn't understand the type of pain I was going through and went through every time her name was even uttered. Casey had prodded enough that she had figured it out within a couple of days of me being in their home and had been more amazing than I ever could've imagined.

I picked up my receiver and dialed the number two, smiling at the possibility of Noa answering, but in return, I got Becca's voice, " _Yea?_ "

"Hey, whenever you can, I need you to go through the office catalog and order me two eight-by-ten picture frames. Make sure they match my desk, ask for Jeanine's help if needed," I spoke quickly, still staring at the picture in my hands.

" _Ok, I can go in there now. We could go through the catalog together and that way you'll know for sure,_ " she offered sweetly.

I sighed and rubbed my brow with my free hand. She really was a sweetheart, but it was best if I kept my distance, "I don't want to sound rude, Becca, but I asked _you_ for a reason."

She gasped and stuttered, quickly recovering, " _Right, I—I'm sorry. I'll get started on it right away._ "

I hummed and quickly placed the receiver back on the base, leaning back on my chair to continue to stare at the picture of Noa and I.

Where was she? How was she? Was she eating well? Were her Braxton-Hicks worse now? Had they placed her in a safe neighborhood? Has she made friends?

I sighed heavily and closed my eyes in frustration. I wasn't helping my cause by sitting here in my office wrecking my brain for information that I knew I couldn't have. I growled at myself, turning on my chair and slamming my hands atop my desk, feeling the tears fall. Tristan decided then was a good as any moment to waltz through my office door.

"T—Trevor," he begun bashfully.

I looked up at him and wiped at my face, clearing my throat, and ushering him in, "W—What can I do for you, Tristan?" I asked, clearing my throat once more.

He approached my desk, "You haven't heard anything from her?" he asked, running his hands against the back of the chairs across from me. I shook my head and looked at my desk, "Sara's worried and I don't know what to say. She asked to meet with you."

I breathed out harshly, leaning back, "What am I supposed to tell her Tristan? I don't know where Noa is. She left without leaving trace. Don't you think I've tried to look for her?"

He lowered his head, "Trevor, she wouldn't just leave like that," he said, raising his head, "You've got to know something, anything…"

I stared at Tristan and the longing his eyes exuded. He really loved and cared for Noa, but I couldn't tell him she was in WITSEC. I had already placed her in enough danger as it was by letting my guard down and seemingly getting ridiculously drunk to the point where Alex saw right through me. I couldn't afford to lose her permanently, at least this way I could have just a grain of peace of mind that she and my child were safe, "I don't, Tristan. Do you really think if I knew where the hell she was, I'd be sitting here like a sitting duck?" my voice rose an octave and I growled at Tristan.

The man across from me stared at my face, taking in the distress, the longing I had for her return, the hurt, and he slowly nodded, "Why would she leave?" he said, his voice barely there, "She was happy."

And, before I could answer, I could hear muffled screaming through my door and I furrowed my brow, placing the photo that was still clutched in my hand atop my desk as I stood. I looked at Tristan who wiped at his face before a very angry, very distraught, and tear-stained face Sara barged in, "I'm sorry, Trevor," begun Becca, "She was adamant and wouldn't take 'no' for an answer."

I chuckled slightly, one of the similarities the sisters shared, "Sara," I mentioned breathily.

"Where is she, Trevor? Where's my sister? What did you do to her?"

I sighed and bowed my head, "Becca, move my eleven-thirty to after one, and no interruptions," I barked quickly at my assistant and saw her turn to leave towards her desk, "Tristan, I'll talk to Sara."

Tristan nodded and turned slightly, meeting Sara halfway, "We'll hear from her soon, Sara," he spoke softly to her, "You know how she is."

Sara gave a sad smile and walked towards me, "Where is she, Trevor?"

"Sara, I—I don't know."

"Bullshit!" she bit back harshly, her tears falling freely down her face, "T—That's bullshit, and you know it!"

I paced the area in front of her, "Sara, please, do you think I would withhold that type of information from you? Of all the people, you?" _Of course I would, if it meant her safety, yes I would._

"Why is no one doing anything to find her? I want her back!"

"Why? So, that your mother can continue terrorizing her?" The words left my mouth before I could stop them and I saw as they made impact. Sara widened her eyes in amusement, her mouth parting as she scoffed, "I—I'm sorry. That was out of line."

She nodded, "Yes, yes it was. But, that doesn't mean it wasn't true," she paused, slowly deflating, "You and Tristan know her more than anyone, Trevor. Y—You have to know where she is."

"I don't, Sara. Like, I told Tristan, do you think if I would know where she was I'd be here like a sitting duck?"

"You know, she was refusing to see me since the New Year started, and then I find out she's pregnant. What's been going, Trevor?"

I sighed and ran my fingers through my face. Was it really my place to oust our problems? Her pain and journey? "Whatever reasons your sister had to keep you at arm's length are unbeknownst to me. She made her decisions and I would support them without hesitation. You know how she is once she gets an idea stuck in her head."

Sara brought her hands to her face, letting her sobs take over. Her shoulders shaking with sobs and I hesitated with my comfort. I walked towards her, bridging our gap, and took her in my arms, wrapping her in my embrace and as she crumbled, so did I. She clung to me, much like Noa had done so all that time ago on our way to Poughkeepsie, and just like I had done to her sister I allowed for her to find her comfort in me. She needed it, we both did. I found solace in her just like she found hers in me. We were both missing the common denominator in our lives, and she could possibly be missing her more than I did. That was her sister, they grew up together, and they shared an unbreakable bond even if they wanted to kill each other most of the time.

She had lost her sister, but what had I lost? My future wife, the love of my life, and my child; we both were in need of some comfort, and who better to share this pain than with her? Sara pushed back, wiping at her tears when she noticed she had been clinging to my chest. She looked up at me, an apologetic look in her eyes and I smiled, sniffling and wiping at my eyes.

"I was going to propose when she left," I confessed, my voice hoarse, "I had told her to come away with me to my family's beach house in Montauk. She seemed excited; she _was_ excited for the long weekend. But, I received a call of high importance and I had to leave to take care of it. When I came back, there was no Billings, no Noa, and no trace of them anywhere in my apartment. The only thing that was left was her scent."

"Y—You were going to propose?" she asked shocked.

I nodded as I walked back towards my desk; opening the top drawer to retrieve the small velvet box that I had been carrying for nearly five months now. I sat on my chair, deflating as I ran my hand over my brow. I watched as she approached the desk, taking in her hands the box to open it and eye the ring I had chosen for her to be my wife. Once Sara opened the box she revealed a four-carat oval cut low solitaire diamond ring with micro-pave band that would've looked more beautiful sitting on Noa's left finger rather than in the box. Sara gasped as she eyed the ring; her eyes sparkling just like the ring had done so many times at me.

"S—She would've loved it," Sara said behind a smile.

"Yea?"

She nodded as she looked at me, closing the box carefully, "Keep it, she'll be back."

She went to place the box on top of my desk when she noticed the array of photographs I had been going through. Her fingers danced carefully on the corners of several of them and I nodded, giving the permission Sara looked for. She stood next to me, moving the photos and chuckling and smiling at the moments several of them captured.

I watched her manicured fingers move about my desk, her index tracing over Noa's figure, "She still thinks I don't know the secret of her glowing skin."

Sara was musing, "What?"

She grabbed a picture and showed it to me, "See how her skin glows?" I nodded and smiled, taking the picture I had been eying before Tristan and her interrupted my day, "She does it with her bronzer and coconut oil," she chuckled lightly, the sound damn near breaking my heart at the similarity it bore to her sister's, "Though, she'll never admit it, and that's ok because that's something she taught me," she paused again, sniffling, "I like that picture, a lot."

"I like it, too. It's my favorite out of all of these," I said, picking up another photograph from my desk, "Pick another favorite."

Sara hummed, moving pictures about when she found the one she liked. Noa was looking up at me with a small smile on her face, beaming up at me with those beautiful doe eyes she possessed. I was looking straight at the camera, and the funny thing of it all was, I didn't remember when she had turned to gaze up at me, "She gave you that exact same look the night of the mixer."

 _What? What mixer? T—The networking event?_ "What? How do you know that?"

Sara leaned her hip on my desk, picking up the photo in her hands, "You were too busy having a conversation with Grant when she looked at you that way. I knew then that she was in love with you. Even if she denied it, and even if she never said anything. It's sad that she waited for you to say it first."

"How do you know that, Sara? Did Noa tell you?" I mentioned with a smile.

"Noa doesn't have to say much, Trevor. She wears her feelings on her face and in her eyes, like our father did," she bit her lip and nodded slowly, "But, you know that already."

I scoffed and nodded, "I do. Why do you think I avoid her eyes when I've done something wrong?"

Sara laughed, "She gets that from Mami. And, you're right, it is scary," she giggled, "I just hope that she's not giving my niece or nephew that same look."

I winced at the mention of my child. I was hoping that she had forgotten—momentarily—about that topic. I could handle talking about Noa, I had to be able to handle it, but no one said anything about handling the mention of my child. At least I had the memory of what Noa looked like right after she would wake. How her nose would scrunch and her brow would furrow just before she turned on her back to stretch.

Or, how she would run her hands through my hair and kiss my jaw when she wanted me to wake. Or, how she would bite her lip and bring her hands to her hips before breathing out my name when she wanted to get her point across. I had memories of Noa, a full archive of them. Doing all types of common things, laughing, breathing, frowning, yelling… I had the memory of the taste of her lips, the bite of her teeth, and the lash of her tongue.

But, what memory did I have of my child? The sonograms. The kicks. The feel of Noa's belly against my body, and that was it. How could I remember someone I loved so blindly without having had met them before? How could I formulate a memory if I had no moments, no physical mold of whom I missed so… Who would they look like? Did they have my eyes? Did they have her plump lips? What about their skin tone? Was she Theodora Juliette Langan? Or, was he Harrison Luca Langan? Would they be Langan or whatever name they had given her in the program? Was she talking to the baby about me? Was she telling them how much I loved them both and missed them terribly? Were they born yet?

Sara must've seen my distressed look when her hand on my shoulder delivered a comforting squeeze, "I'm so sorry, Trevor. Here I am complaining about my losing my sister, but you lost the loves of your life. Single handedly the two most important people in your life at the moment. How selfish of me."

I shook my head and breathed out harshly, "You're not selfish. I understand where you're coming from. But yes, my child and the woman of my dreams are out there, somewhere without me, and I miss them. I miss them both terribly."

"I know," she begun.

"No, you _don't_ know, Sara. I wish you did, but you don't," I said in a breathy whisper, "I was supposed to be there for the delivery. I was supposed to be there to sign the birth certificate. I was supposed to make her my wife. I was supposed to keep her happy. I was supposed to protect her, make her feel safe, and what did I do instead? Drove her away. Away from my arms, from the safety of our home; how am I supposed to live with that?"

Sara whimpered, "The same way we're all living with her absence. And, I get it, it hits harder for you because of the baby, but we can't give up hope now."

I nodded and sighed, "I just need to know that she's all right, that they're all right."

Sara shrugged, "No news is good news, right?"

I chuckled and shook my head, "I—Is that your life motto?" She nodded with a faint smile on her face, "No news is good news, indeed."

She was right. We needed to keep calm and we needed to remain positive. I knew she was under the protection of the Marshals and I knew she'd be safe in the program. The program was incredibly successful and seldom did the persons in their protection presented any problems or were placed in an awkward or compromising position. I knew they were going to be ok, but I still wouldn't be able to sleep or rest easily until they were both back in my arms. Until I knew for sure that I was mere inches from either of them. It wouldn't be enough; it will never be enough, not until they were back.

"It's her birthday today," I heard Sara said.

I nodded, "I know," I paused, "And here I am, torturing myself with her memory. What am I doing?"

Sara laughed, "You're loving her, Trevor. You're loving her from wherever she is at currently, you are loving her."

I smiled and looked at the picture in my hands, "I always am. Not matter the day, no matter the time, I will _always_ love her."

* * *

 **A/N:** These Trevor chapters always give me all the feels. Oh Noa, come back to your man!


	36. Holding On, Letting Go

_**Holding on, Letting go**_

October: my favorite month of the year; not anymore though.

How could I be happy and celebrate one of my favorite days of the year when I couldn't celebrate it with the person I wanted to? But, I had to let it go. My feelings did not take precedence anymore. Now, I had Theo and it was her happiness the one that took forefront. Her smiling face and kicking legs were the ones that mattered and even if I felt not up to it, I had to do it, for her.

At the court, the rest of the neighbors had decided to do trunk-or-treat for all the neighboring kids. According to Claudette, in the six years she had been residing there, it was a pretty big deal, and it was safe since we didn't have to leave the confinements of our small cul-de-sac. Claude and I had pitched in and made goodie bags for the kids.

It was easier than having loose candy and that way, those with peanut and tree nut allergy could benefit of partaking in the Halloween festivities. We were to run the trunk-or-treat from five in the afternoon until roughly eight in the evening. Thankfully it was a weekend, so the big kids wouldn't come out until much later.

Claudette and I were sitting in front of my Jeep, watching as Micah held on to his little brother and pranced around the other vehicles with their trunks opened. Another one of the neighbors was utilizing his sound system and was blasting music for everyone's entertainment. Theo was now three months old, and a very happy baby, reaching every milestone expected of her.

It was chilly out, but her adorable onesie bear costume was keeping her warm. In order to match my daughter, I had dressed as "mama bear" and Billings sported an adorable Park Ranger vest. We were cohesive and as parents commented on our ensembles, we waited for Julian—Claudette's husband—to return from work at the naval base.

"I still can't get over how adorable you three look," Claudette begun with a smile, "How did you even get the idea for this?"

I adjusted in my seat and rubbed my thumb over Theo's thigh, "Elijah and I knew Theo would be here by this time and we planned it ahead," I answered, feeling the knot on my throat. I had started calling Trevor by his middle name, just as to not raise flags.

Claudette offered a sad smile, "You still miss him, huh?"

I nodded and cleared my throat, fighting my tears back, "It's not easy, Claude. She reminds me of him every day. She has all his mannerisms, down to his sneeze."

Claudette nodded and handed a goodie bag to one of the kids that had stopped by our trunk, "I can't even begin to fathom how you've been so strong. H—How long ago did he pass?"

 _Shit!_ "Uh," I sighed, "just a couple of weeks before I moved here."

"Jesus," she breathed out quickly, worrying her bottom lip.

In the short time that I'd known Claudette, I knew that was a telling sign for her. She needed to say something, but wasn't exactly sure how to say it, "What is it, Claude? I can hear your brain at work."

She looked at me with a bemused expression and I giggled, "How do you even _know_ that I need to tell you something?"

I shook my head, "Out with it."

"Remember Everett?" I furrowed my brow in confusion, shaking my head, "Julian's Navy friend? We saw him at the hospital a couple of weeks ago for Trevor's check-up," I shook my head once more and shrugged, "The PA, Natalie!"

"Oh!" I reacted, elongating the syllable, "What about him?"

"He asked Julian about you," she winced as she finished the statement, "Julian told him about your loss, but he was still very insistent."

I sighed, of course my friend wanted me to go back out there and find someone that could make me as happy as she was with her husband, but I was already happy… with Trevor. It wasn't that Everett wasn't beautifully handsome, quite the contrary. He reminded me, somewhat of Tristan—tall, dark, and with beautiful hazel eyes. He looked of mixed race and his smile was to die for, but he wasn't Trevor.

I wanted blue eyes, not hazel.

I wanted a gigantically tall man, not a subpar one.

I wanted a lawyer, not a PA.

I wanted the father of my daughter, not Julian's friend.

I wanted Trevor, not Everett.

"Why are you telling me this, Claude?" I smirked, knowing exactly why she was telling me this.

"Julian invited him over for the get-together tonight," she sighed heavily, chancing a glance over at my expressionless face, "Y—You're still coming, right?"

I bit my lip, reaching next to me to pet Billings' fur, finding the comfort to will my beating my heart down. I glanced at my lap to the cooing baby, contently waving her rattle. I picked her up and turned her, having her stand on my lap as I made noises back at her beautiful smiling face. I glanced back at Claudette whom was still giving me an expectant look.

I deflated on my chair, handing her Theo for some playtime, "Yes, I'll come."

Claudette took Theo and begun bouncing her, cooing back at the baby in front of her, "Jesus, Natalie! You could've taken longer with your answer."

I chuckled, shaking my head, reaching inside my Jeep's trunk to hand out goodie bags to a couple of kids that had approached our trunk, admiring their costumes and giving them compliments, "Claude, I'm not ready to date. Theo's still so young, she's the one that needs all my attention."

Claudette was tapping her forehead gently against Theo's, making the girl coo and smile, "No one is saying to go back out there and date, Nat. But, you need more adult interaction other than myself and Julian, and the people at the coffee shop."

I sighed. She had a point; "It's weird to even think about talking to someone else when his presence is all I feel."

Claudette sat Theo on her lap, handing her the teething rattle she'd been using, "I know, babe, I know. I just don't want you to get stuck and never date again or put yourself back out there because of Theo or Elijah. Don't you think he would want to see you happy?"

I gasped, wincing in the process. Of course Trevor would want me happy, but it was _I_ that couldn't be happy with anyone else if it wasn't him. I couldn't let Claudette know that her comment had affected me, so I smiled nonetheless, "He would, Claude. And, I am happy… with you as my wife."

Claudette laughed heartily, "You are something else," she said, shifting her gaze to across the street where Julian had managed to park in his designated spot, "Look, they're here."

I sighed heavily, dreading the moment they'd finished getting ready for tonight and cross the street to make way to the trunk of my Jeep. I fidgeted with Billings' fur next to me and busied myself in handing goodie bags to the kids that would visit our little setup whilst Claudette entertained Theodora. My thoughts wandered. I was there with neighboring kids, handing them candy bags, but I was with Trevor too.

It was like getting to dream with your eyes open, or when you're caught in that weird space between sleep and wakefulness. Everything was coursing by quickly and soon the evening had picked up a chill to it. Even though Theo was bundled up in her cozy onesie costume, I needed to get her inside for her feeding and to wait for Winnie, the young middle school girl from the end of the cul-de-sac that on occasions would watch Micah, Trevor, and Theo.

Claudette handed me Theo, "I'll feed the boogers and walk them over. I'll see you soon?" she said with a smile.

I rolled my eyes and smirked, "I don't have a choice, do I?" I giggled, "Yes, Claudette, you'll see me soon."

As I entered the still quietness of my home, I sighed, rushing my way up the stairs to bathe Theodora. Once I finished her bath time routine, I sat in her room in the reclining chair and accommodated her across my belly in order to breastfeed her. I glanced down at her, admiring the features I could take apart and place on Trevor. It wasn't much, but I could still see him through her. I smiled down at her, receiving a half smile from her as she continued to suckle. I was thankful—in a way—that I had Theo to remind me of him, but what did he have?

I was gone, Billings was here with me, and his child at the moment of departure was still inside my body.

Where was he finding his comfort?

How was he handling his sorrow?

I prayed and hoped that he hadn't isolated like he had done so when Miranda left. I knew how much he had hurt over the entire thing and I knew how worrisome the family had grown of his behavior, but maybe, just maybe this time he could reach out and speak to someone. Someone he trusted and loved, and someone who wouldn't judge Trevor or I based on whatever lie he had worked out with the Marshals'.

All I really wanted for him was complete and total happiness, but whom was I kidding? He wasn't happy. He hadn't been happy that day in that room when they told us about Milo's activities. I most definitely wasn't as happy as I could've been if I had Trevor with me at this moment. I wasn't completely miserable, but my nights seemed colder, and my days grew quieter the minute Theodora went down for a nap. I missed him, and I had to take it easy on the perfume bottle if I wanted it to last. It helped, but it didn't work. Everything just smelled of cologne and not particularly him, but it was something and _something_ was what I needed in order to be as strong as I could for Theodora.

" _Miss Natalie?_ " I heard from downstairs.

I smiled, "I'm up here, Winnie!"

Billings had dispersed to greet the girl and in a matter of seconds, she appeared in front of Theo's doorway. She was used to watching me breastfeed, and she didn't seem uncomfortable about it, "Oh, she's falling asleep. That's good," she sighed, "You three looked really cute together."

I giggled at the girl's over-expressive face, "So did you in your Ruth Bader Gingsburg costume." She shrugged, smiling, "Did you pick that?"

She nodded, "The only way my parents will let us partake in the festivities is if we pick 'punny' things or people who matter."

I hummed, slowly moving Theo away from my chest, "I'll remember that for this little one. Here," I said as I stood, "sit and burp her while I go downstairs to feed Billings."

The girl nodded and took my seat, skillfully draping a half sleep baby on her shoulder, and began patting her back. I called for Billings and directed her downstairs to feed her. I returned upstairs and saw Winnie slowly rocking Theo. I knocked on the door, capturing the girl's attention, and mouthing my departure. As I was opening my door to exit my home, Claudette and Julian were standing in front of me with a sleeping Micah and Trevor in their arms. I let them in, taking from their hands the boy's sleeping bags. We all went upstairs to set them up in Theo's room, that way it would be easier for Winnie to keep an eye on them.

"Help yourself to anything you'd like from the fridge, Winnie. There are also leftover candy bags that you can eat if you'd like," I said over my shoulder as I stood by the door.

"Yes Miss Natalie, go have fun. I got this!"

I smiled at the girl and exited my home, walking side-by-side Claudette and her husband. Once we crossed the street and opened the door to their home, music, laughter, and chatter could immediately be heard. They had converted their dining table into a beer pong table, and currently, several adults were surrounding it, cheering for whoever was making the shot. I smiled, shaking my head.

In the living room, there were several of Julian's friends, men and women, having a somewhat loud discussion, and none other than Everett was leading the conversation.

"Finally, finally someone with some sense," he said once he noticed Claudette and Julian had returned, "Could you please tell these morons where would you rather go: space or bottom of the ocean?"

"Dude, space no doubt," answered Julian, moving to high-five his friend.

"Thank you," Everett shouted, leaning back on his knees.

I giggled and leaned on the wall, crossing my arms, watching as everyone laughed and shook their heads, "What about you, Natalie?" Everett asked with a smirk on his face.

I pondered my answer, "Both are unexplored frontiers for humankind, I guess it just depends where your curiosity lies," I shrugged, "Though, given the fact that space is just that, _space_ , what are you _really_ exploring? Blackness? Emptiness? Open plane of nothing? Or, would you rather explore a beach within the sea, animals you've never seen before, discover species you never knew existed… I mean, it's the smart choice, don't you think? And, you _do_ have food down there."

Everyone had grown quiet when a woman dressed in a ladybug's costume spoke, "I'm changing my answer!"

We all laughed and Everett hung his head, smiling at the ground before raising his stare to find mine. The night continued as such, laughing, playing truth or dare, and never have I ever. For a group of grown ass adults, there were some serious childish questions at play. I laughed heartily, not having laughed like such since I started in the program.

I noticed how much I missed the sound of laughter, the sound of people together, of people enjoying each other's company together. All of this had been foreign to me, only hearing my daughter's gentle coos and sometimes-hungry cries. I realized how much I needed this, how much I needed other adult human interaction.

"What are you drinking?" Everett asked.

"I'm not," I answered, "Just some soda or water."

He furrowed his brow, "It's Halloween, Natalie."

"And, I'm breastfeeding, _Everett_."

He parted his mouth, nodding feverishly, catching up to my reason for not drinking. He continued to be very attentive, and as the night slowly turned into the early hours of the evening the adults around the downstairs area began dispersing. The only ones now lingering were another couple friend of Claudette's, Everett, and I. I had excused myself to the powder room to relieve myself of all the liquid I'd been ingesting throughout the night. I washed my hands and opened the door, running into the sturdy back of a tall man.

"Shit, I—I'm sorry," I stammered.

The person turned around, placing their hands on my shoulders, steadying my swaying body. He chuckled, "In a hurry?"

"Everett," I breathed out, smiling, "No, I'm sorry. You were in the way."

"Is that how you recall it?"

I scoffed, "That is _exactly_ how I recall it."

He shrugged, "Too bad there are no witnesses to differ."

I snickered, "Are you always this charming?" I countered, resting on the powder room's door.

He laughed, "Are you always this defensive?" I raised my brows, crossing my arms across my chest, "Wow, you are." I shook my head and smiled, straightening my body to side step him when he grabbed my elbow, "Hey, wait! Where are you going?"

"Uh, back to the living room."

"But, why? There's only couples there, they're probably talking about their marital problems."

I furrowed my brow, "I'd rather listen to that," I smirked.

He leaned forward, "You'd rather listen to that than kiss me?" he flirted.

I scoffed, grinning, "Who said anything about kissing you, Everett?"

"You just did," he slyly said, leaning forward to hover over my lips. I smirked waiting on him to complete his move, and when he did, I didn't deny him.

His lips felt rough against mine, and his eagerness surprised me. I allowed myself to feel wanted, to feel desired. I was craving someone's touch, but was I craving _anyone's_ touch?

His tongue grazed my bottom lip and I contemplated whether or not I should grant access to my mouth, but I couldn't. His hands found my hips, pulling me against his body, and I hummed at the contact of his belt to my midsection. I was slowly allowing the fall; really feeling his hands roam my body the way Trevor roamed it when he kissed me. The way his hands played with my hair, his thumbs grazing my jaw, urging me to stay on his lips. I moaned softly when he nibbled my lip, but the nibble became a ferocious bite and I almost yelped Trevor's name when I realized the bite hadn't come from Trevor's skillful mouth.

I gasped, placing my hands on his chest, and pushing him back. I shook my head, bringing my fingers to my bottom lip, "I—I—Is everything all right, Natalie?"

I shook my head, "I have to go," I whispered.

"D—Did I do something wrong?"

"N—No," I stammered, "This was a mistake," I said lugubriously.

"W—Wait, Natalie," he tried to stop me just as I bolted through the door.

I crossed the street, leaning against my Jeep with my hand at my forehead.

 _What had I done?_

Had I really betrayed Trevor in a moment of utter weakness?

I sighed, biting the inside of my cheek to prevent the tears from falling.

I had to do better.

I needed to.

* * *

 **A/N:** Oh Noa... I wrote this and I already want her back with Trevor.


	37. Intruder Alert

_**Intruder Alert**_

I had just put Theodora down for a nap on this beautiful Wednesday afternoon, deciding to work on my freelancing whilst she slept. She was bound to sleep for at least an hour and a half, so what better way to spend it than doing some work? I walked downstairs and brought the laptop with me to the living room; Billings was on her back, moving about, and kicking her paws when I giggled and caught her attention. I shook my head and walked to the door of my small backyard to allow for Billings to have some fresh cold air.

I sat on the couch and turned the TV on for some background noise and began working. I read and corrected minor errors, helped with syntax, gave pointers on sentence flow, and rewrote a few paragraphs. I'd been reading and writing about our journey on this Earth and how we should share it with people that add value to our existence and make us feel damn near invincible whilst still managing to ground us. My thoughts immediately went to Trevor; my sweet lover, the man I loved, the father of my child, my one and only, Trevor. I sighed, closing my eyes to prevent the tears from falling. I sat back and threw my head over the backrest of my couch and let my thoughts run wild.

As I listened to the baby monitor for Theo's steady breathing, I couldn't help but go there. To the way my daughter resembled her father and to the way the both of them had this way of looking at me that broke all resolve in me. The way she would be at ease by snuggling in one of the shirts I'd managed to bring with me and had continuously sprayed with his scent, not just for my sake, but for hers too. She was part of him, and in my solitude, I could see him through her.

Billings suddenly entered the house and stood on alert underneath the archway that gave start to the hallway that led to the door, kitchen, and upstairs, "What is it, Bills?"

Her tail waggled in contentment as if she knew the person that was on the outside when the door rapped with quick knocks. My body startled, and a shiver ran down my spine. I placed the laptop on the couch besides me and stood, walking towards the hallway and opening the fold doors to my laundry to take out the bat I'd purchased and used at the cages to relieve stress.

Billings stood by my side, a low growl humming through the silence of my home, "Easy there, Bills," I said softly.

I knew she was capable of attacking, but I didn't want that if it was just a door-to-door salesperson. I looked through the peephole and the sudden dread that coursed through my veins at the realization of the person on the other side nearly knocked me on my ass.

I opened the door quickly, pulling him in, "Senior, what the hell are you doing here? How did you find me?" I said quickly, locking the door.

"You have some nerve addressing me as such! Who the hell do you think you are?" he grumbled loudly, causing Billings to give a warning bark.

"Bills," I warned, looking up at the tall man, "Senior, why are you here and how did you find me? And, I suggest you watch your tone around Billings."

His blue stare, much like his son's, challenged me. The sadness in his eyes, how disheartened he looked had me thinking that _he_ didn't know why he was here, "Why did you leave? Why did you take my grandchild away from his father? You have broken my son in more ways than Miranda could've ever done so, Noa."

"Natalie," I bit back rapidly, wiping at the tears that had sprung in my eyes. He furrowed his brow and went to speak when I interrupted him quickly, "Please, have a seat," I directed behind him to the dining table in the kitchen. Senior took a seat, "Would you like something to drink?" I asked, leaning the bat against the wall next to the door.

"Uh," he begun, taking a seat and clearing his throat, "Do you have anything strong?"

I chuckled and shook my head, turning on my heel to reach the cabinet that I kept stocked with whisky, even if I never drank it. Claudette's husband, Julian, enjoyed the brown liquid so I kept it stocked for him, and to remind me of Trevor. I poured a healthy three fingers for Senior and as I placed the tumbler down, I continued my journey to the living room where I grabbed at the baby monitor, walking back and sitting across from the man.

"How did you find me?"

Senior sighed, taking a sip, "I hired a P.I." I sighed heavily and shook my head, "It took him this long before he found you. You did a good job in hiding, Noa."

"Natalie," I mentioned sternly, "And, as far for my hiding, you can thank the US Marshals," the man looked dumbfounded, "I'm in Witness Protection and you being here is a compromise to my safety and that of my child's."

I saw as everything registered for the elder Langan, "Y—You didn't leave, you were _forced_ to. T—Trevor knows you're here."

I shook my head and smiled weakly, "He knows I'm in the program, but he doesn't know where I am and you _cannot_ tell him either."

"I'm such an idiot," he lamented.

"Like father, like son," I quipped with a grin.

"N—Natalie, is it?" I nodded, "Motherhood becomes you."

"Thank you," I said, tucking a loose strand behind my ear, "It's been a challenge, but my neighbor has been a great help."

Senior nodded, taking another sip, "D—Do you have any questions for me?"

"I do, but I rather not know the answer to any of them. It'll only make me feel worse," I smiled sadly and sighed, "I miss him so much," I relented, feeling a tear run down my face.

"And, he misses you, the both of you, No—Natalie. He's not the same, but thank God for Alex and Casey. Oh, and your sister too."

I perked up at the sudden information of my sister, "Sara?"

He nodded, "She had an altercation with Trevor, but now, it's like they're inseparable. Now I know why, she's the only connection he has to you."

I chuckled and shook my head, "And, to think he disliked her at the beginning…"

Senior laughed and my heart burst in emotion. He looked so much like Trevor when he laughed that I couldn't help but burst into tears. Senior was quick to have me wrapped in his arms when I felt the familiar warmth of Billings' fur by my leg. I cried into the man's embrace, my body wracking with sobs. He didn't say anything; he only held me and shushed me quietly, mumbling a soft 'it's ok' to my hair as I willed my body to calm down, I inhaled the familiar scent that was Trevor Langan Sr. engulfing myself in it until it offered me peace.

I pulled myself out of his embrace and wiped at my tears, sniffling, and taking my seat once more. I petted Billings' fur once she sat next to me, "She's very protective of you," he commented.

I nodded and smiled at my dog, "She is, of both of us. She was outside when she sensed you, came bolting through the back door. You scared me," I continued, looking up at him.

"Oh, I'm sorry, that wasn't my intention."

"What _was_ your intention, Senior? Or were you just winging it?"

He sighed, "I actually came to serve you these," he reached in the lapel of his jacket and slid me some folded documents, "I filed papers accusing you of kidnapping and a motion for joint custody."

"What!"

He waved his hand dismissively and chuckled, "I didn't know what I was doing."

"Clearly," I nearly shouted, "What does your son have to say about this?"

"He doesn't know. And, I'm glad I didn't tell him either; don't want him to stop talking to me, too."

I furrowed my brow and fidgeted with my placemats, "Too? W—What do you mean 'too'?"

"He's not talking to Tilly or Gigi. They," he sighed, grinning sardonically, "they have some pretty strong opinions about you right now and Trevor… well, you know how he is."

I nodded in agreement, "I don't blame them, but now you know the truth and I cannot risk you exposing me and my new identity, Senior. You have to promise me that you won't mention this to anyone. No one can know where I am, what I'm doing… nothing!"

He closed his eyes and smiled, reaching to grab my hand in his, "I know how this works. You have my word."

And, as I was about to answer, Theo cooed, almost as if she were stirring to wake. Senior looked up at me with hopeful eyes, but I couldn't risk it. I had to protect her, "Senior," I begun bashfully.

He held up his hands and chucked the brown liquid back, "I understand, I do. I'll go," he said standing, "Take care of yourself, _Natalie_."

I smiled and stood, walking the short distance to the door. I stood on my toes and hugged the man tightly; "Give him a hug for me," I said breathily, releasing his frame.

Senior nodded and offered me a thin-lipped smile when Theodora cooed again, this time accompanied by a soft cry, "I will," he breathed out, opening the door and disappearing through it.

I closed the door and rested against it, sighing heavily as I took the stairs quickly, arriving at Theo's room. I picked her up and bounced her slightly, "Oh pretty girl," I kissed her forehead, cradling her head against my chest, "Mami's about to do something really crazy, and really permanent. Not to mention, you could've met your grandfather today," I spoke to her, as I laid her back to have her diaper changed.

Between the Halloween party a couple of months back, holiday celebrations, a new year, and Senior's visit I was missing Trevor more than ever. If he was going to be on my mind so constantly, might as well have him in my veins too.

* * *

 **A/N:** Very short chapter for you all, but I'll make it up with the next one. I think Noa's close to coming back home...


	38. Time may change me

_**Time may change me…**_

(Trevor's POV)

" _Noa," I called with a smile._

" _Upstairs, baby."_

 _I approached the stairs, taking them quickly to reach her. She was sitting on the bed, our child attached to her chest, suckling contently. They didn't have a face yet, nothing I could place. They looked like me, but they looked like her too. I eased behind her, feeling her body weight on mine. I leaned my head forward, my nose landing right at the crook of her exposed neck. Her scent filled me, every nook and cranny inside me was filled with everything that she was. I pressed my lips to her warm, bronzed skin; I loved the way the sun kissed her skin! How dewy it made it seem, almost at perfection. She relaxed her body into mine, humming softly and in contentment of this moment._

" _What's wrong, Trev?" she asked melodically._

" _Nothing right now," I mused contently, pressing my lips to her skin once again, "Everything is how it's supposed to be."_

 _She hummed, "I missed you today."_

" _I miss you every day. You and this little beauty in your arms," I said, looking over her shoulder._

 _Her face turned, her lips pressing against my jaw, "How are you handling everything?"_

 _I stared at the ever-changing face of my child, unable to fix it on something tangible, "Lex and Casey have allowed for me to stay with them. Emily loves having me there, she wakes me up every morning," I admitted with a smile, turning my head to face her, "Though, she doesn't do it as sweetly as you."_

 _We looked into each other's eyes, eyes dancing across our faces, and stopping at our mouths. We had the right idea, a damn near perfect one. She leaned forward, pressing her plump lips on mine. It was tender, tentative, as if at any moment everything could snap away. And, it could. Everything could be gone, taken away in the blink of an eye. So, I savored it._ _ **We**_ _savored it._

" _Be nice," she whispered against my mouth._

 _I chuckled and shook my head, "Come back."_

 _She sighed, staring at me lovingly, "I will, and when I do, I'll be carrying more than just myself."_

" _Everything is wrong with you not here," I complained, "Food is bland, water's not warm, nothing smells the same… and, my mother, Noa," I trailed off shaking my head._

 _She sighed, nodding slightly, "I'm sorry, baby. I never meant for this to be so hard on you."_

" _I can take it, it's you I'm worried about," she furrowed her brow in slight confusion, "You're alone with a newborn, Noa. I—I should be helping."_

 _She shook her head with a smile, "It's not as bad as you think, Trev. I have help, I do."_

 _She kissed my lips once more, pressing her forehead against mine, elongating the intimacy. I could smell her, I could feel her warmth breath against my face, and I yearned this. I needed this more than I let on._

 _She, this wonderful woman in my arms, needed to be my_ _ **wife**_ _; I **wanted** her to be my wife. No one else could have her, now that I had gotten to know her, now that I knew her, now that I had her, I couldn't let go of her. We belonged. She had my body, heart, and soul. She had everything I could give and I would keep producing just so that she could have an overabundance of me._

 _The baby in her arms stirred and she hitched a breath, "Baby, it's time."_

" _No, please. Two more minutes, Noa, please."_

 _She shook her and closed her eyes, a tear making way down her cheek, "I want nothing more than to give you that and more, but it's time. I love you, Trevor."_

" _Noa, n—"_

I woke up with a start, startling Emily that lain by my side, intently watching me sleep. She smiled once I settled, clutching Noa's plush sloth to her chest. That's what smelled of her. That smell of her is what provided me warmth.

"Good morning, Uncle Trev," she said softly.

"Good morning, booger. What are you doing here?"

She yawned, "Mommy sent me to wake you up, but you wouldn't. Gigi is downstairs," she added.

I groaned inwardly, my mother didn't understand the meaning of the word 'no'. I didn't want to see her. I didn't want to talk to her. Not after what her and Tilly had said about Noa. I sighed, stretching my arm to stroke Emily's cheek. She smiled and closed her eyes, and when I squished her cheek with my palm, she giggled.

I smiled, reveling in the melodic sound of the young girl, "All right, let's go and see what Mommy and Gigi need."

She nodded, releasing the plush animal from her grasp. We exited the bed on opposite sides of the bed and I picked her up, feeling her wrap her little gams around my waist. We went down two flights of stairs and met in the living room where my mother and Casey sat across from each other.

"Where's Alex?" I asked, capturing the attention of both women.

"She went to get stuff for pancakes, she should be back soon," Casey responded with a smirk.

I approached her, leaning down to kiss her temple and drop Emily on her lap, "Mother," I said curtly.

She placed her saucer and cup on the small three-legged table to her right, "Since when you don't live at your triplex?"

I sighed, placing my hands on my hips, "Why are you here? What do you want?"

"We'll give you two some privacy," Casey mumbled as she stood, "Come on, Em."

My mother waited until Casey disappeared upstairs to speak, "Why aren't you doing anything to find your child? You could sue her for custody!"

I groaned, "Get out."

I turned to leave, "Why do you keep defending her, Trevor? What does she have on you?" My mother pushed calmly, the only way she knew how to.

I rolled my eyes and stopped in my tracks, scoffing as I turned slowly, "Everything. She has _everything_ on me."

"And, you let her? I thought we taught you better than that, Trevor Elijah."

I groaned, "You taught me to fight for what matters, to never give up on those whom we love, and now you're telling me to go back on my teachings?" My mother quirked an eyebrow, pursing her lips, "You don't understand what's going on, Mom and you will _never_ understand the type of pain and heartache I'm going through."

"How can I when you've alienated yourself entirely from us?"

I shook my head, "I haven't, my lines of communication remain completely open with everybody else, with those who've been forbearing with this situation. _Not_ with the ones who've had nothing to say but the most unfavorable things about the woman I _plan_ on making my wife. Even for you, Mother, that's going too far."

My mother adjusted her self and looked past my body, "Alexandra," she breathed out.

"Gigi," she responded, glancing at me with an apologetic smile. I scoffed and turned to return to my room, "Trevor!" I heard Alex call out for me.

I was fuming!

The nerve of my mother to come here and meddle in my life as if she hadn't done enough damage already with her words and incessant nagging and berating about Noa's disappearance. I'd overheard her and my sister exchanging some rather offending words about Noa and when I'd confronted them both about it, they offered nothing but excuses.

I knew Tilly wasn't particularly fond of Noa at the beginning, but honestly, what sister _is_ fond of her brother's girlfriend? As time went by, the tension seemed to dissipate and they'd become quite cordial with one another. As for my mother, _she_ was the one that continuously pushed me to ask her out, _she_ was the one that brought up marriage the first time she met Noa, and _she_ was the one who had called me out on not having proposed to her even after the news of Noa's childbearing.

What was her issue with her now?

I heard a knock on my door and I turned, catching the steely blue gaze of Alex, "Trevor, you have to speak to your mother and your sister," she begged.

"I don't have to do anything, Lex. They were out of line, I asked them to stop, multiple times, and they chose to ignore the warnings."

She sighed, running her hands down her face, "Trevor," she tried breathily.

"No, Alex! They disrespected my _wife_!" I grumbled loudly, eliciting a small smirk of amusement from the blonde across of me, "I don't need to explain it. They hurt me more with the constant prodding, the constant bashing, and badgering. She has my child. They're both gone," I choked on a sob; inhaling quickly to maintain what little composure I had left. Alex and I held our stares when she offered a weak smile, "They're both gone, Lex, because of Milo and my inability to protect them."

"You _are_ protecting them, Trevor," she said wistfully, "Having decided to be in WITSEC is the way you're protecting her—you're protecting them. And, she's not your wife yet."

I furrowed my brow, "What?"

"You said, ' _they disrespected my wife_ ' when you were referring to Noa. She's not your wife yet," she smiled.

I breathed in and turned, feeling her arms reach to my front and her cheek placed firmly against my back, "You can't turn your back on your mother and sister, Trevor."

"I won't allow for them to speak the way they've been speaking about her. They know jack shit about the situation so in turn they should keep their mouths shut."

Alex sighed, squeezing me in her arms, "Okay, Trevor. Okay."

We stood like that for what seemed like hours.

Both her and Casey had been great!

They had been amazing hosts and once a week they would accompany me to my apartment to look for fresh clothing. I would return to the triplex at one point, but this wound was still too fresh and when I wanted to hole myself throughout the holidays, and spend them in the solitude of my home, they'd managed to keep me smiling, and fighting.

At least here, I had a beautiful distraction by the name of Emily. She knew about Noa, and asked me continuously about her, about the baby, about their return, and though I attempted to keep composure the mere thought of them wrenched my heart. But I kept it up, just for the sake of her beautiful smile; I kept it up, for her, for Emily.

* * *

 **A/N:** Short chapter for you lovelies, but the next one is the one we've all been waiting for. Will Noa be coming home? Will they finally capture Milo?


	39. End of the Road

_**End of the Road**_

"Please, don't do this," I bargained with the man in front of me.

He laughed, a deep sounding sound that caused me to shudder. It wasn't a laugh if the sound wasn't joyous or genuine, "N—No, everybody can have you, but when I try to have you, you say no!"

"Put the knife down, Kent, and no one will to get to hurt," Marshal Frost shouted at Milo, a gun barrel aimed straight at his face.

My breaths kept coming in like bullets, and I could feel the slight difference in temperature the sharp knife held against the skin of my neck.

I whimpered, tightening my fists at my sides as Milo swayed in my living room. His breath was hot and ragged against my cheek, and even though I could feel the slight tremble of his hand behind the knife, I was not misjudging his mental state to think that he wouldn't do something drastic with that knife at my jugular.

I had my daughter to think about, I needed to put her at the forefront, and forget about my feelings for a second. If I was scared, I knew she was terrified.

"Please, Milo," I whispered.

* * *

 _ **Eighteen hours earlier…**_

 _I had been riding a wave of complete and utter happiness. We had just wrapped on Theodora's first birthday party. Claudette had been more than amazing helping me plan to near perfection Theo's birthday. We had reserved two hours at one of the local parks near our neighborhood, and I had called bakers, bought decorations, and sent out invitations a week prior to the birthday party._

 _Everyone that I had invited had brought such happiness to Theo that seeing that beautiful toothy grin spread across her cheeks to see people that she had familiarized with throughout the first year of her life not only brought me great satisfaction, but it brought me a little peace._

 _A year._

 _It had been a year since I had entered the program. One entire year where my thoughts not only drifted to the blue-eyed man that I love, they drifted to the life I once I had, to my friends, to my family, to everything that had been right before this incident with Milo had happened. If he hadn't threatened my existence—and that of my child's—I wouldn't be in this predicament._

 _Everyone I loved and terribly missed in New York would be here, with Theo celebrating her first year of life. I sighed as I stashed some of Theo's unopened presents into the living room area, she would get to those once she woke up._

" _Claude," I shouted, groaning trying to manage a big box, "Claude!"_

" _Why are you yelling? I_ _ **just**_ _put Theo down. I never knew that sock doll was going to be such a success," she giggled, huffing as she came through the living room. I dropped the box of decorations and miscellaneous stuff to the ground, plopping down on the couch. Claudette sat next to me, patting my thigh, "Today was a success, Mama. She was so happy…"_

 _I closed my eyes, feeling that feeling of happy sadness I'd been having ever since I started planning Theodora's party. I was missing him today more than ever, and I wished he could've been here for everything._

 _Her birth._

 _Her first smile._

 _Her first belly roll._

 _Shots._

 _Crawling._

 _Teething._

 _First words, and now, the celebration of her first year._

 _Milestone after milestone he had missed because of this situation, how was that fair for him? How was that fair for her? Forget the rest of the family, this was_ _ **his**_ _daughter, and thanks to Milo… and me in some sense, he had missed all of it._

 _I felt Claudette's hands around at my nape, pulling me against her body, and when I landed on her chest, my sobs gave, "Oh, Nat," she whispered against my hair, "Let it out, sweetheart." I brought my arms around her frame, holding her tight against me. I choked on a sob, my body shaking furiously, as I fought for air, "Easy there, easy."_

 _I tried to follow Claudette's steady breathing, her heart at an easy beat against my ear. I released a shuddering breath, coughing as I regained slight composure, "C—Claude," was all I managed to say before she knew where my outburst had come from._

" _I know, I know. I'm here for you, Nat. Let it all out," she soothed, stroking my long locks._

* * *

 _ **Present time…**_

"All right, Kent, what do you want, huh? Talk to me, tell me what you need," Frost attempted to bargain.

"Oh," he chuckled, puffing air against my cheek, "I think you know what I want, _Marshal_ , are you going to give me it?"

Frost shook her head, "Let's be realistic here, Milo. You can't have Noa, so why don't you tell me what you _really_ want."

I whimpered, "Milo, please," I could feel the threat of tears in my eyes, and I could see the growing fog on my glasses as sweat and nervousness made its way through my body.

"Shut it!" He growled, pushing the blade against my skin.

I mewled, "Easy there, Milo, you don't want to do that to her, do you?" Milo eased his grip around my waist, "Yea," Frost continued, "There you go; you want her. You can't kill her."

I could hear Billings' excessive barking through Theo's door. She could sense something wasn't right, and I hoped that Theo was all right, that even through Bills' distress, she was still caring for the little human being in that room, "Shut up!" he shouted, lunging forward at Marshal Frost.

Marshal Frost released a shuddering breath, "Back it up!"

Milo pressed his sweaty cheek against my skin and I groaned in disgust, the blade making its presence known, and I swallowed, trying not to move against him. He turned his head, speaking against my skin, "You didn't tell me you liked pussy too, Noa," he finished, panting.

I closed my eyes, wishing for a better fate than this one, "Theo…"

* * *

 _ **Ten hours earlier…**_

" _Thank you for earlier, Claudette," I said, handing her a glass of red wine._

 _She shook her head, stroking the bangs off of her son's face, "You don't have to thank me for being your friend, Nat. You needed a shoulder to cry on," she shrugged, taking a sip, "If I'm completely honest, I'm surprised it didn't happen earlier."_

 _I smiled, running my hand down Theodora's back, "I tried so hard, Claude," I bit my lip, "I just couldn't help it."_

" _I told you the day you gave birth, you're the strongest person I know," she smirked._

 _I scoffed, shaking my head, "You are so full of shit, Claude!"_

 _We had moved the party to Claudette's home after the boys came knocking on my door claiming their father didn't know the ins and outs of their dinner. I had fed Billings before leaving for Claudette's and now we were in the proverbial food coma on her couch._

 _Today had been challenging to say the least and I was ready to settle in my bed with my dog by my feet._

 _I stood, downing the last of the crimson liquid in my glass. I picked up Theodora and her newest obsession: Claudette's sock doll, and draped her over my shoulder. Claudette stood with a sleeping Trevor on her chest, walking me over to her door and waving me goodbye. I turned to cross the street, and the most unsettling feeling flowed through me._

 _I stopped, clutching Theo's body to me, and took a deep breath. I glanced to my right, not seeing anything but a street full of a cars, and the dumpster at the end of the cul-de-sac. I glanced to my left, watching a car cruise by the main street. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, yet I couldn't shake the feeling of being carefully watched._

 _ **You're almost home, Noa**_ _, I thought, feeling a shiver run down my spine._

 _I powered home, fiddling with my keys as I balanced Theo on my shoulder. The key eased in on the doorknob, and I was inside within seconds, leaning against the door, and releasing a shuddering breath. Billings was at my feet instantaneously, panting like she had run a marathon just to reach me, and I shook my head. I needed to contact the Marshals; I needed the reassurance, even if just for a night._

 _I dropped Theo off in her room, beckoning Billings to stay with her as I went to my room to search for the card they had given me in case of emergencies._

 _In the year that I'd been residing in Lynnhaven, Virginia I had never felt threatened. I was always hyper-aware of strangers. Whether it was at the beach, at the coffee shop, or at the grocery store, I always noticed, and I always knew. Though, it did help that Billings was with me most of the time, and when I skipped over a friendly stranger, or got distracted by the antics of my child, she was there to warn off the strangers, and safely guide me back to my motherly instincts._

 _I searched the drawers of my dresser, scouring feverishly for that small three and half by two inches card. I growled in frustration, hearing the confused whimper of Billings in the room across from mine._

 _I shook my head, standing straight; one hand at my hip and the other at my forehead, when I caught the reflection of my bedside drawer. I dropped the hand at my forehead, turning around in a whip, feeling my hair slowly descend down my shoulder with the force of the turn. I paced quickly, climbing over the bed to reach the bedside drawer, and once I slid it open, there it was, staring at me with beckoning force. I reached behind me, sliding my phone out of my backside pocket, quickly dialing the numbers engraved on its surface._

" _Come on, come on," I urged, biting my lip, and fiddling with the card in my fingers._

 _The shrill of the sound was exasperating, like a mocking taunt playing in my ear. I waited still, for someone to answer, for someone to make his or her selves known. And, then it happened, I recognized the voice of Marshal Larissa Frost, and I breathed out, remembering the phrase that I needed to use in case I felt I was in danger, "Hey," I said easily, "Just wanted to call and let you know that_ _ **everything that rises must converge**._ _"_

* * *

 _ **Present time…**_

"Is that her name?" he replied hoarsely, "Oh, Trevor must be feeling like shit!"

"Y—You don't get to say his name, Milo," I struggled against him, feeling the sting of the knife as it barely cut through flesh.

I hissed, bleating in the process, "Stop moving, Noa, damnit!" Frost shook her head.

I saw as her stare shifted quickly over Milo's shoulder, but it was back trained on his face in a matter of seconds. Milo most definitely didn't notice it, but I did. I did, because I spent a little over three hundred and sixty five days analyzing people's gaze, making sure their eyes were trained where they were supposed to be. Any hesitation, I took as a threat, any uncalculated move had me on alert. That was my life: always watching, always guessing, and always making sure that nobody had the upper hand on me.

Frost charged forward, taking threatening steps towards Milo, and he stumbled backwards, causing me to lose my footing. I yelped when he gripped me tightly, and when his steps faltered, the hand at my neck dropped. I saw my opportunity to escape, it was now or never, but I couldn't be rash, it needed to be well thought out. I elbowed him hard, my bony flesh connecting with the pit of his stomach. The arm around my waist released me, but he was quick to recover and he swished the arm in possession of the knife, slicing through the skin of my left wrist. I cried out in pain, but I was finally free of his hold.

Blood; too much blood staining my shorts, staining the floor, and running down my hand and leg that I froze. Marshal Frost yanked the back of my shirt, causing me to trip over my feet. I felt my body fall, my bottom landing first against the tiled flooring of the hallway, and later my head. I heard the loud thud and crack my skull made as it connected with the ground beneath me, immediately sparking bright lights in my eyesight. My glasses shook on my face, threatening to fall, and I groaned, scouring to remove my long gams from Frost's way, and that's when I saw him lunge at her.

Milo's knife connected with the tan woman's hip, causing a yelp from her, "N—No," I croaked, attempting to hold my head upright, but just the thought of moving brought great strain to my upper body.

I placed my hands behind me, attempting to anchor my body, but once I applied pressure I felt sharp pain on my shoulder. I cried out an obscenity, watching intently the struggle between Milo and the injured Marshal. She fought to keep upright, and when she almost had him the front door banged.

The ringing my ears held was too much, and I was slowly slipping in darkness behind my head injury. I could discern two voices; one belonged to Marshal Carter, and the other to Agent Fulmer. The commotion was deafening, but not as deafening as the threats being made in the middle of the place I had called my home.

Billings' bark, the agent's plea, Carter's command, and the fighting were too much to comprehend. My broken head couldn't wrap around all the sounds that were happening around the small corridor. Everyone was above me, and if I concentrated really hard, I could hear Theo crying out for me. And, just when I thought the noise couldn't get louder, I heard it, two loud pops evening the ringing in my ears. I gasped loudly, letting my body feel the cold of the ground beneath me.

I closed my eyes, letting the darkness consume me. I could hear my name being called, my real name, the one my parents had given me, the one my father bestowed upon me, but I couldn't bring myself to open my eyes, between the light and the dark, all I could worry about was my daughter.

"Theo…"

* * *

 **A/N:** What a marathon! Noa's coming home soon... Thank you for all the views and please review, it makes my day to see that you are enjoying this as much as I am. :)


	40. Flight 3634

_**Flight 3634**_

Constant beep.

Uncomfortable bed.

Aching shoulder.

Splitting headache.

Hospital.

Theodora.

Milo, with a knife.

Blood.

I groaned, shifting in the bed as I did so, "Shit," I breathed out.

"Easy there," they said, and I fought to open my eyes, squinting in the process.

"Fuck!" I heard scrambling and shuffling and suddenly I could sense the dim light behind my closed eyes. I fluttered my eyes, squinting, and trying to locate whom exactly was in my room, "Whoever _is_ here, could you find my glasses?"

She giggled, that much I could tell, it was a woman. More shuffling before the image cleared, "How are you feeling, Noa?"

"L—Larissa," I breathed out, "Why are you not in your own room? He stabbed you!"

She shook her head, "I had a vest on. He managed to cut through it, but he didn't cut my skin."

I pushed my glasses up my nose, "I—Is he dead?" I asked, averting my eyes.

She shook her head and smiled, "No, very much alive, though he has two nice flesh wounds to his arm and thigh," she snickered when she finished.

I smiled, sighing in relief when the wafting thought of my daughter almost knocked me on my ass, "Where's my daughter? Where's Theo? B—Billings, where are they?"

"Easy," she placed her hand atop my sling, rubbing at the mesh fabric, "You can't exert yourself right now, Noa. She's in good hands, they both are."

"B—But, I want to see them. Now!"

She hung her head, "You are insufferable," she added before grabbing her stuff and walking out of the room.

I sighed; throwing my head back against the array of pillows that had been placed underneath my head. Could this be it? The moment I'd been waiting for ever since I stepped foot into that safe house in the middle of nowhere, my safe return to the place I'd called home for the entirety of my life.

I could feel relief wash over my body, smiling softly as I closed my eyes. This could be over in a matter of hours, maybe days, and if push came to shove, weeks. I bit my lip in anticipation, waiting for the moment my daughter would come in through the doors.

How would everyone look?

Had they changed? What about Trevor?

Trevor…

I heard the soft coos of Theodora as Marshal Frost opened the door to my room. Theo had her sock doll clutched in her small hands, and she was actively moving in Frost's arms. I heard her call out for me and I opened my arms, utilizing my good arm to pull myself up in order to have Theo atop of me. Larissa placed her down between my legs for her to crawl up my torso. She studied my sling, running her little hands over it carefully.

"Owie, Mami?" she pouted her lip, looking at me with expressive eyes.

I giggled, placing my hand on her chubby cheek, "Yea baby, I have an owie, but I'll be okay, preciosa."

She studied my arm for a little bit longer before she placed her head on my chest, snuggling in on her favorite spot. I ran my good hand down her back, providing that sense of comfort that we both needed at the moment, and when I glanced up, Larissa was looking at me with a smile. We engaged in small talk, and she caught me up in the past day and a half.

I'd suffered a concussion, a nasty one at that. I had bled a little, but nothing to worry about. My shoulder had partially dislocated due to the fall, though it could've been the force of Milo's jostling or a number of many other things that were happening in that moment. Adrenaline could be a great mask for pain.

Theodora had been fine during the entirety of the encounter downstairs. Billings hadn't been able to chew through the door, not without lack of trying though, and when the Marshals' had safely carried me out the home and into the waiting ambulance, they had found a teary Theo with a very protective Billings guarding her. I smiled at the knowledge of this information.

Even though Billings wanted nothing but to come to my rescue, she had made sure that the little human in her care was out of harm's way, and for that I was completely grateful. Theo and Billings had been staying with Claudette, after the Marshals had explained the situation to her; she vowed to provide as much help as she could.

"Claudette's here?" I asked in a breathy whisper.

Larissa nodded, leaning against the vanity next to my bed, "She's out there with Billings and her kids. We can't let her in, Noa, security reasons, and she completely knows that. We have her information, and we'll pass it down to you once we get you in New York tomorrow morning."

I looked at her stunned, my shoulder hurting at the strain I was putting on my neck, "T—Tomorrow? So soon?"

She chortled, "I would think you'd be running to get back to New York as soon as possible. You gave me fucking grief the first two weeks, Noa."

I smiled and bit my lip, "Yea, but, but, but…"

"Do you want us to call him?"

Did I want them to call him?

Trevor, my handsomest Trevor; was I ready to stare into that blue, steely gaze of his; was I ready to receive that beautiful smile; or dive deep into his kisses? Was I ready for his love once more?

Or, could I come up with something else?

Of course I was dying to see him, be in his arms once more, but not like this. Not when I needed to heal and try and be there for my young daughter. She had already gone without her mother for a couple of days, and she was bound to stay with Claudette until I was released from the hospital, so my focus needed to be on her and making sure she was all right.

What Trevor didn't know wouldn't hurt him, right? He already knew I was in WITSEC, and according to the woman whom had been working with me throughout this entire ordeal; they hadn't contacted him yet, and wouldn't do so until I gave the word. I sighed, running my free hand through Theo's ringlets. The girl hadn't moved since she pressed her body against mine, but she wasn't asleep, her breathing hadn't changed. She was awake, and she was seeking that which had been denied for the past two days: my loving comfort.

Larissa cleared her throat, still waiting for my answer, and when I looked up she gave me an expectant smile, "W—Will he know that Milo's been apprehended?"

"We'll do whatever you want us to do, Noa," was her answer.

I bit my lip, resting my head against the pillow below my head. I relaxed against its comfort and closed my eyes, "What about Robert?"

"What _about_ Robert?"

I opened my eyes, "Will he know his brother has been apprehended?"

She shook her head, "Robert Henshall doesn't want anything to do with his half-brother or the proceedings, so he will not be notified by _us_. Once Trevor is aware, _if_ he wants to tell him, that's his prerogative."

I nodded in assent, feeling Theodora shift atop my stomach. I fixed my arm around her back, tipping my chin to press my lips against her hair. I rested my cheek against Theo's head, looking up at the green-eyed woman.

By this time last year the woman had gained an obnoxious tan, but this time around, she had lain off the tanning booth, and had decided to go with her natural ivory, which suited her much better. I took the time to really study the woman. Alongside with Curtis, she'd been assigned to watch for my well being, and I'd had the most contact with her as opposed to Marshal Carter, and in some ways, I think I was grateful for it. She'd been harsh at the beginning, but she'd done her job. She had kept my daughter and I safe, and when push came to shove, she was there to make sure the man behind my grief was captured and see that he was punished to the full extent of the law.

"I—I don't want him to see me like this," I admitted quietly.

Larissa approached the bed, leaning over the railing, "Hey, we can put you back in your apartment in Harlem. You don't have to go to him right now."

I shook my head, "I don't think I could ever go back to that apartment, Larissa. I haven't been there since the year before last. It's not home anymore."

She sighed, nodding, "Well, it's a good thing then. Your sister moved in after she figured out you were… gone. She's been living there ever since, and she kept up the lease as well."

I picked up my head and grinned in amusement, "Really?" Larissa nodded and smiled, "Well then, now I really _don't_ want to go back there. I'm not ready to face anyone as of yet."

She nodded, "Okay, I'll get started on hotel accommodations for you, Noa." She turned to leave, doing a double take before reaching the door, "Who do you want us to call?" I opened my mouth to protest, but she continued speaking, not allowing me a chance to disagree, "Listen, you're going to need help while your shoulder heals. I'm sure you can manage with your daughter, but what about Billings? And, yourself?"

I rolled my eyes.

Who could I call? Tristan? Would he be there for me after I left without telling him a single thing? Not only did he not know about my assault, but he also thought the reason behind my sudden absence at work was because Trevor and I were about to be parents, and though in part it was true, but Trevor and I both knew we were blowing smoke.

I pondered, what about Casey? But, how could I go to her? How could I sit across from her and tell her everything that had happened and ask for forgiveness? Forgiveness for having hurt Trevor, forgiveness for having hurt her, for having hurt her daughter… No, I couldn't call Casey. And, when I thought I had no one in my corner, a certain blonde came to mind…

"Alexandra Cabot, call Alexandra Cabot."

* * *

"Thank you, Alex, for everything," I sighed, smiling at the blonde woman in front of me.

She shook her head, "I'm just glad that you're back, Noa. How are you settling?"

I shifted my legs on the couch in my hotel room, "I'm settling," I breathed out, "I went to the coffee shop on W 53rd, and they called out for Natalie and if the young woman hadn't reached the counter before me, I would've taken her order," I shook my head, biting my lip. "I said my name, Alex. I said 'Noa' when they asked for the name, but I responded to Natalie."

She reached and touched my knee, "It happens, Noa. No one is faulting you for reacting to a name that was forced on you. It'll take some adjusting, but you'll be back to your old self in no time," she smiled.

I couldn't help it, but her hope was contagious, and her smile was infectious. I scoffed in amusement, placing my hand on hers, "So, do you think this will work?"

She bit her lip, "It's going to be hard, Noa. He's been impossible ever since you left, and let's not get into the fact that he's been ruthless both on and off work, he's stop talking to his mother and sister, and he's channeling his thirteen-year-old self with the way he looks now."

I giggled, "I'd like to be surprised, Alex," I breathed out, shifting closer to the woman, "You know, Senior visited me when I was in the program and he said the exact same thing. What has been going on?"

"He caught them saying… stuff about the situation you were in," she tilted her chin, pushing her flaxen locks over her shoulder, "H—He, he's been hard on them. The only people who make him smile nowadays are Zachary and Emily, and the twins."

I whimpered, hanging my head.

I'd obviously caused more pain than anything, and though Alex hadn't gone into specifics into what exactly Tilly and Gigi had been caught saying about me, I could go out on several limbs and imagine what exactly was being said, or at least the topic of said conversations. I was glad; a little, to know that he had found solace and comfort in the arms of his niece and nephew… and twins?

"W—What twins?"

Alex opened her eyes in recognition, "Oh my God," she shrieked, "Ramona had twins a couple of months ago! Apparently she was pregnant when you entered the program," she turned to retrieve her purse where she dug up her phone. She tapped on the screen until she found what she was looking for and handed me the phone.

On the screen were two beautiful dirty blonde boys whom had taken after their mother with the most expressive yellow eyes. I could distinguish them slightly; one of the boys had his father's nose whilst the other one had his mother's. Even at their young age, you could see that one of the boys would inherit that indistinct Langan medium straight hair whilst the other one would no doubt have his mother's coarse wavy hair. They were beautiful boys, and as I swiped my thumb across the screen I could see different pictures through the months of them with their parents and older brother.

"Wallace and Wyatt Langan," Alex commented as I looked at the screen.

"They're beautiful boys, Alex."

"And, the sweetest too. You'll meet them in Montauk in a couple of weeks. His birthday is on Sunday this year, so we can plan a brunch for Sunday before we leave, and our usual on Saturday. When will you want to be there?"

I put the phone down besides me, "I know you and Casey like to get a head start so Saturday after everyone's there, maybe you can make something up and come pick us up."

Alex nodded and we dove into the details of said trip.

This was bound to be something, and I was beyond thankful for Alex and her understanding. Up to this point I thought that Senior and Trevor were the only ones that knew, but from the looks of it, Casey and Alex had figured it out as well. Apparently after a night of heavy drinking with Henshall he had his spilled more than his guts to Alex, and Casey being the ever clever one figured it out after just a couple of days of Trevor constantly avoiding the subject.

Even though I was somewhat shocked that he had told Alex about my situation, I was also happy that he had done what I had asked of him: sought out help and not wallow in his pity.

I was beyond thankful of Alex as well, and Casey too. They had taken him in, offered him shelter, and most importantly their love and understanding. Regardless of what Gigi and Tilly had said about me, regardless of what they could possibly think about me at the moment, I was happy to have Alex sitting here with me. Without her, none of this could've been possible. Our meeting would've been just that, a meeting instead of something to remember. This was to be the first day of the rest of our lives.

I wasn't planning on walking out on him again, and I hoped he didn't plan on leaving me either. We had a child together, and our plans for the future were far too enticing to pass up. Though, if he weren't happy any longer, I would step out of the way, even if it hurt me. I would want nothing else than his happiness; _that_ would always be one of my priorities.

Alex did a phenomenal job of catching me up, so much so that we lost track of time, and by the time I was bidding her good night, it was almost midnight. I'd begged her not to mention anything to her wife, and especially not to Trevor, and if anyone could carry on that task, it would be her.

I couldn't help but be a ball of nerves. I'd been nitpicking and going over every detail for that weekend, pre-planning, and over-stressing for an event that was two weeks away. I sighed and finally paced to the bed, opening the comforter and blanket to ease in next to my daughter. I felt Theo roll over, reaching out to grab me, and I smiled thinking back at how many times I'd seen and felt Trevor do the same.

I couldn't wait to be back in his arms and snuggle my face in his chest, engulfing myself in his scent.

I snuggled near Theo, bringing my arm around her body, and closing my eyes, attempting to imagine how much Trevor had changed, _if_ he had changed at all. Not physically, Alex had established as much in our conversation tonight. I wondered if he _felt_ different, if his thought process had changed, if his mannerisms just before waking had changed… What about his voice, had his tenor changed?

I sighed once more and just let my ears focus on the soothing sound of my daughter's breathing.

Trevor and I had a lot of catching up to do. These were going to be some trying times ahead of us, but I would hope that in the end we could come out victorious on the other side. Whatever the future held for the three of us, I was ready to dive in and face it head on.

I thought about the challenges that we could possibly face, clouding my mind with every possibility and scenario possible. There was a good chance that Theo would rebel against him, but in the same breath, I knew Theodora would never defy any adult, especially not her beloved Papa. Even if she hadn't met him before, she knew who he was. I'd kept a picture of Trevor in her room, and every morning, afternoon before nap, nighttime, and at any passing moment she would search for his picture.

I couldn't wait to witness the moment where those two would meet. It would be nothing far from perfect and I couldn't wait to be in his effervescent presence once again. We would exist in our impenetrable bubble once more, and this time, we would have the love of our daughter to bask in.

I sighed, finally beginning to relax.

I counted the breaths of Theodora's steady breathing, and before I knew it, I was slipping into peaceful sleep. In two weeks I would be in Trevor's arms, _we_ would be in his arms.


	41. In Your Arms

_**In Your Arms**_

Today was the day, finally.

Theo and I had been cooped up in the city, in a hotel, thanks to the FBI and the US Marshals' Office for a little over two weeks. Our move back to the city had been after my release from the hospital. Once we'd landed at La Guardia and settled at the hotel, I'd invited Alex over. We had formulated a plan for her to convince Trevor to celebrate his birthday in Montauk.

Needless to say, she almost had to beg him to agree, saying that the tradition needed to continue, and that it would be good for him in the long run. We had conversed that night, almost to the point of forgetting that it was the middle of the week, and that she had work in the morning. If it weren't because I'd stood to make us more coffee, and chanced a glanced to the clock, we would still be sat in the small living room area of my hotel room gushing like teenagers about the past thirteen months.

Alex was scheduled to pick us up, and I was currently in my room preparing a weekend bag with clothes for both Theodora and I, as well as some food for Billings. Theo sat on the king sized bed, playing absentmindedly with some blocks when I heard the knock on the door. I sighed, cursing under my breath as I rushed to the door.

"Come in, come in. I'm finishing packing," I said, ushering her inside, and closing the door behind her.

Her eyes danced across my face, "Is—Is she here?"

I furrowed my brow, shaking my head in confusion, "W—What?"

"The b—baby, Noa."

"Oh," I face-palmed myself, "Yes, yes, come on." She followed behind me as I opened the door. I approached the bed, enthusiastically making faces at the girl as Billings' barked in contentment. I waved her in, "She bites, but only if you let her," I quipped, watching as the blonde woman chuckled softly, petting Billings between her ears.

She approached the bed, teary eyed, "Hi, little one!" Alex exclaimed, moving her eyes to meet mine. I smiled at her, urging her to go on, "You look just like your mom," she reached for a block in front her, handing it to the girl. Theo smiled and gurgled, showing off her sock doll. Alex picked her up, running her hand through curly locks, "You're so cute!"

I saw as Alex kissed Theo's cheek, entranced with the toddler in her arms. She pressed her nose to the girl's temple, letting Theo be enveloped with the bracelet on her wrist. She bounced Theo on her hip, the girl curling her lips into a smile, "You're so big," Alex mused, placing her lips to Theo's curly locks, "How old is she?"

"She's one," I replied, stuffing some items in the bag in front of me.

"What? Already?"

I nodded, "I had her two weeks into the program. I think the stress and everything happening pushed for an early delivery."

"Oh Noa," Alex lamented, holding Theodora to her chest.

We were quick to leave the hotel room with Alex clutching onto Theodora as if the girl would slip from her fingertips.

The drive up to Montauk felt eternal, like the universe was set on delaying my reunion with Trevor. I was antsy, fidgety to a point. So much so, that it took Alex's hand on my knee to stop it from bouncing incessantly.

"Sorry," I offered with a smile.

She shook her head, laughing in the process. I relaxed into the seat, hearing her cheerful laughter seemingly put me at ease. It wouldn't be long before we'd be with him again.

My entire body was thrumming in anticipation. Like a kid anticipating the night before Christmas, not being able to sleep or eat due to all the excitement coursing through their little body. I could hear Theo's soft coos and gurgles, her conversation with 'Bis', and her joyously joy was contagious. I chuckled, shaking my head in amusement.

I felt like I was meeting Trevor for the first time, like I was being driven to a blind date where I didn't know what to expect out of the person they'd described, but that was just it, wasn't it?

It was a blind date of sorts. We'd been apart for quite some time, and just like I felt I'd change, I was sure he had changed t—

"Are you ready to see him?" Alex interrupted with a smile as we were in the final stretch before reaching the Langan's beach home.

I sighed, biting my lip, "I am, Alex. God knows I am, I'm just nervous of how he may react or what he will say once he finds out I've been out of the program for almost three weeks."

Alex shook her head, "He may be upset, but not for long though. All he'll care about is that his girls are back, and forever this time… hopefully," she shot me a wink.

I chuckled, "If that's what he wants, I'll make it happen," I finished with a giggle. Theo babbled in the back and I turned, looking over the back of her car seat, "We're going to see Papa, baby."

"Papa," she repeated, swinging her little arms.

"She knows who he is?" Alex inquired with a furrowed brow.

"I printed a photo of Trevor and I the night of the ALIA and framed it to put in Theo's room," I fidgeted with my fingers, smiling, "She knows what he looks like, and she knows what he smells like."

" _You_ took his Cool Water," she pieced together.

I nodded with a smile, "And, a couple of his shirts. There has always been one in her crib drenched in his cologne. It's the only thing that calmed her on some nights."

Alex smiled and blinked slowly, moving her eyes to look through her rearview where she caught the reflection of Theodora.

Before anything else could be said, I recognized the winding road, and I sat straight, lowering the window to lean my head out slightly. I could feel the wind in my hair and though the deal was to cut it after Theodora's birth, I couldn't bring myself to get rid of it completely. It was the only thing that reminded me of Trevor. I would keep it long until our return to the city.

Alex's sedan come to a stop at the roundabout and I steadied my breathing. I felt Alex's hand on my naked thigh and I turned to see the blonde smiling at me, "Do you want to go in first and then come back for the bags?"

"Y—Yea, yea, sure," I stammered, moving my arm to unclasp my buckle. I exited the car and shut the door, reaching behind me to allow for Billings to get out. Almost immediately she jogged to the grass covered area to relieve herself as Alex grabbed Theo and her sock doll on the other side.

Once Billings had finished, I ushered her towards me, patting on my thighs slightly. I circled the car and watched how enveloped Alex was with Theo and I scoffed, smiling, "Ready?" she asked, turning her hip for me to grab Theodora. I nodded, taking my child in my arms, "Okay, come on then," she conceded.

I followed Alex inside the home, feeling the familiar breeze that came from the open living room at the end of the hallway. I could hear a faint conversation, "Where the hell is she? _She_ was the one that dragged me here in the first place, and she's been gone since early this morning!"

It was Trevor, but whom was he grumbling at? "Trevor, come on. Alex had to go back for something work related. You know how SVU gets…"

"That's bullshit, Casey, and you know it!"

Billings barked at the shrill of Trevor's voice, bolting from my side and rushing to Trevor's. He turned around quickly, noticing Billings making a run towards him. She placed her paws on his hips, and he looked down to pet her, "Billings, get down! You know better than that," I gently scolded.

His eyes were adjusting to my frame and I could see Casey's tears collecting in her eyes.

He most definitely looked different.

He had gained weight, but not so much that it looked bad on him, on the contrary, I found him even sexier with his 'on brand' dad bod. His hair was longer too, longer to the point where it fell on his eyes, and tickled his neck. His medium-straight hair had a slight curl to the end of it, and I could tell where Theodora had gotten her beautiful curly pattern. But, the thing that caught my eyes the most was how full he had let his beard get. I damn near had to beg him to let his stubble grow out, but now he had a full hobo look going on for him. His chin trembled and I focused on the gray hairs across his jaw. What a year apart could do to someone, and I sighed, smiling.

"Happy Birthday, baby," I conceded, hiking Theo up my hip.

"Noa," he breathed out, and just the sound of his voice saying my name brought an air of peace about me.

I closed my eyes and breathed out, "Trevor."

He walked quickly towards me and wrapped me in his arms, careful of the toddler on my hip. He claimed my lips possessively, my mouth parting immediately for him to search and probe. I moaned and tugged at his shorts with my free hand, seemingly pulling him closer to me. Theo became rowdy and I broke the contact, but not before I nibbled on his bottom lip, pressing my lips on it for a final kiss.

"Kish," Theo gurgled with a smile, and I laughed.

"You want a kiss too, Theo?" I asked, bringing my lips to her cheek. The girl squealed and hid her face from me, "Theo, who is this?"

Theo looked at Trevor, who still refused to let go of my waist, and she looked back at me. She leaned for him to catch her and he did, being as careful as he could. Almost as if she were this foreign valuable that he dare not drop. Theo studied his face, tilting her head, and knitting her brow. She placed her chubby hands on his face, "Papa!" she exclaimed, and I saw the moment where Trevor's chest burst.

"Mami, Papa!"

"Yes, baby! It is Papa," I replied, feeling my tears free-fall.

"H—Hi Theo," Trevor tentatively said.

"Hi," the girl responded, elongating the syllable.

Trevor leaned in and kissed her cheek, letting his lips linger on the girl's chubby cheeks. He was crying silently, resting his forehead on Theo's temple. I stepped in his embrace and looked up at him, "We're here, Trevor. We're back, and we're here with you."

He wrapped his arms around my waist and held me tight against his chest, alternating his lips between Theo's cheek and my hair. We had been so in our bubble that we didn't notice the sniffles coming from behind us. I raised my head from his chest and went to step out of his grasp when he tightened his grip around me.

I ran my hand down his chest, "Baby, I'm not leaving."

He searched my face, "I love you, Noa."

I gasped, hearing the words that had been the last spoken between us. I crashed against his lips, sucking the air out of his lungs with my harshness. It was a miracle I didn't injure my lips against his teeth, "Say it again," I pled breathily.

"I love you," he awarded, and I smiled, closing my eyes.

"Again."

"I love you."

I hummed and smiled, "One more time."

Trevor chuckled, "I love you, Noa Diaz."

I opened my eyes, "I love you more, Trevor Langan."

He shook his head and smiled, slowly releasing my waist. He turned to face the rest of the family that had gathered in front of the sliding door that gave access to the deck and beach. Senior was the first to approach us, giving me a strong hug and mumbling his thanks in my ear. Then followed Casey, whom held me and sobbed. I comforted her and I could hear Trevor and his daughter having an exchange. The kids and Ramona were next once Casey was able to compose herself.

Before anybody else could approach me, Trevor spoke, "Noa."

I looked up and away from Zach, who was showing me his latest scab, and I hummed in response, tucking a lose strand behind my ear, "Yea, baby?"

Trevor smiled and sighed, "Uh, does she walk?"

I shook my head, "Not yet. She tries to stand on her own, but she always fall flat on her ass," I giggled, "She's almost there though."

Trevor nodded and I saw as he squatted, bringing Theo to the ground. Out of the entirety of the family members present at the moment, Gigi and Tilly held an internal conundrum. Whether or not they should approach me, what to say when they did… I could read it all on their faces, and honestly, who could blame them?

They did what any mother and older sibling would've done had their loved one been the one to suffer the heartache that Trevor had to endure for the past thirteen months. I couldn't blame them or hold it against them, so I took the first step.

"You can ask me anything you want. It wasn't what you were thinking or _are_ thinking, but before that, Trevor, our daughter, and I are going to have some fun on the beach. We can all be adults about this and whenever the both are you ready, I'll explain everything," Gigi and Tilly looked at each other, quirking their brows. I turned and approached the two loves of my life that were playing with the other kids.

We had managed to all make it down to the beach to play in the sand and water when I could hear the constant fussing Theodora was having.

It was time for us to eat, and it most definitely was time for Theo's nap. My breasts had collected quite the amount of milk and my chest was aching for a release. As I came out of the water with a squealing Emily, I could see as Trevor attempted to soothe her to no avail. I approached them, setting Emily down and watching her bolt towards her mothers. I wrung out my hands and ran my fingers through my sodden hair, twisting it in order to wring out the excess coursing water.

As I reached the lain out towel, I squatted, "Come with me, Trev."

He looked up at me with parted lips, "I think she's crabby."

"She's hungry… and sleepy," I shrugged with a giggle, "She gets it from her father."

Trevor scoffed and stood, expertly handling a squirmy Theodora in his arms. I walked in front of him, feeling droplets move down my body when I looked over my shoulder, catching Trevor's impish smirk. I giggled and shook my head, quickly taking the steps of the deck and crossing it to reach the cool inside. I opened the door and allowed for Trevor to walk in first. I turned, grabbing a fresh towel from the outdoor rack, and once I crossed to the inside, I walked to where our bags were at the bottom of the stairs.

I grabbed a burp cloth from Theo's diaper bag and as I came back through the hall, I pointed at the couch, "Sit." Trevor sat and propped Theo on his lap, her fussing louder by this point, "Lean back, baby."

"What?"

"Lean back," I repeated with a chuckle, "And, spread your legs," I mentioned playfully. I folded the towel in half and placed it in the triangle Trevor's legs had created. I grabbed Theo and sat, snapping my head in an attempt to move my hair away when I felt Trevor's fingers at my neck. He swept my hair over my left shoulder, gently running his digits over my exposed skin, leaning forward to place a few kisses there, "Lower my bathing suit top."

"N—Noa," he sputtered.

I laughed, "Relax _hornball_ , I'm going to breastfeed. She's so tired and hungry that she'll latch to the right one in a second."

"I take it she doesn't like the right one," he smirked, doing as told.

"It's the one with the ring, remember?" I bit my lip and heard him scoff. I sat Theo on my lap on a straddle and she pushed forward, latching successfully.

I sighed, closing my eyes, and leaning back against Trevor, forcing him to lean against the cushions. Theo's cries had stopped almost immediately, and she looked at me and over my shoulder to her father.

I grabbed Trevor's hands in mine and directed them to Theo's back, seemingly wrapping us in a hug. His lips found my jaw where he dropped two kisses before I turned, having him place the next kiss on my lips. He kissed me with such passion, such purpose, and fire; a fire that would start and end in us wrapped in sweat and sheets. His tongue lapped, rediscovering the abandoned place that was my mouth. He was hell on wheels, and right now, there wasn't much we could do. Theo was attached to me, and his family was outside and at any moment could come bursting in. Our loving would have to wait until _after_ we were behind closed doors.

I pulled back and breathed out, slowly swimming in my arousal, "You can't kiss me like that," I whispered with a smile.

Trevor hummed, "Like what? Like I've missed you? Like I want you?" he finished with a smirk.

"Yes, like _that_ ," I answered softly, stifling a giggle, "Your daughter has me as a human milk factory and your family is _inches_ away."

He sighed heavily, "I know, I know. I j—" he closed his eyes and I couldn't help but beam, "I just want you, it's almost a _need_."

I nodded, kissing his lips quickly, "I want you too, trust me, but we can take care of that tonight," I flicked my tongue against his lip.

He hummed, "Will we? Because, you do know that making promises to the birthday boy and not keeping it results in bad luck."

I shook my head, "Is that so, Mr. Langan?"

"Very much so, Miss Diaz."

"Well then, I'll make sure to keep my promise and then some…" I winked. Trevor stared longingly into my eyes, "I love you," I awarded, "I love you so, so much."

He kissed me once, slowly, then twice, letting his lips linger over mine, "I love you more, Noa."

I moved my head and kissed his chin, turning to lean on his left shoulder.

Theo was slowly drifting off as she looked at our display of love. Yes, we had a lot of catching up to do in terms of Trevor's and I relationship as well as Trevor and Theo's relationship, but if I'd learned anything in all this time away was that, no matter how great the distance or how hard the battle, anything could flourish with a little love and patience. And, I had it all.

I had all the love to guide these two beings of light that were so much alike that it scared me to know how many similarities they bore, and I had the patience to teach Trevor how to deal with his daughter. It wasn't going to be easy, nobody said it would, but it was going to take some time away from all the distractions and responsibilities we had back in the city.

Everything could wait now. My family was here in my arms and that was all that mattered.

I smiled, I was finally complete.

I was in Trevor's arms.

 _We_ were in Trevor's arms.

* * *

 **A/N:** Finally, they're together! I wept a little when writing this chapter, so if you get teary-eyed know that you're not alone. Two chapters in a day because September is fixing to be a busy month. We're almost done! Follow me on twitter LEArtemis1 for more updates.


	42. Mutual Feelings

**WARNING:** Mature content ahead. Proceed with caution.

* * *

 _ **Mutual Feelings**_

Sleep.

What _was_ sleep?

Sleep hadn't come as easy after leaving the WITSEC program. Not after Milo crept into my home in the early hours of the morning just to torment me, wave a knife around, and touch my body as it belonged to him. Sleep, something I had taken for granted, and now that I could have it with the love of my life, I couldn't seem to conceal it. Not even after all that strenuous yet highly satisfying work Trevor and I had put in after having returned from his birthday dinner. It was early Sunday morning, the same hour where I had heard the floorboards creak, and the faint growl of Billings at my door.

I sighed; tightening my hold across Trevor's shoulder blades, running my fingers through his long wavy locks, and enjoying the feel of his beard against my breast. I smiled, looking down at the man in my arms, and reveling in how peaceful he seemed to be in my arms.

His breathing was deep and steady, the lines on his forehead seemed softened by the moonlight, and his breathing against my skin had an inviting warmth. He looked so different! And yet, he was still the same man I had fallen in love with.

I rubbed at a welt I'd etched on his skin, carving on his skin the feel of my pleasure.

I needed to make sure he was real. I needed to reassure myself that this wasn't a mirage, and I had clawed at his back with every thrust, with every bite, and every kiss just to make sure he wasn't just fog. I'd drawn blood, but he didn't seem to care.

I smiled, using the fingers that had been running through his silky waves to run down his face, tracing the bushiness of his brow all the way down to his fully-grown beard. His parents and siblings had berated him for his so called unkemptness, but I loved the way he looked. And, the greys that the dark of his hair and beard sported made him seem all the more mature, sexy, and mysterious than before.

I bit my lip, using my thumb to trace his lips, "How I missed this face," I mused softly, my voice barely above a whisper.

He stirred and I tensed, fearing I'd interrupted his peaceful sleep. He needed it, he deserved it, and me gawking, and rubbing my fingers all over his face was not helping. I shushed him quietly, purring affirmation to his face just as I rubbed my heel against the back of his leg, and he stirred once again, mumbling my name.

"I'm here, papi. I'm here... just rest," I cooed.

His eyes fluttered and he took a deep breath in, pushing his face against my chest, and I chuckled when he mumbled something underneath his breath.

"What was that, honey?"

He turned his head and placed a kiss between the valley of my breasts, "Is Theo up?"

I shook my head, running my thumb across his cheekbone, "No, she's with Alex, Casey, and Emily."

He hummed, "Am I keeping you up? I can roll over if you need me to."

He made an attempt to move, but I wrapped my leg around his waist, "No! No, please. I'm fine."

He inhaled sharply, tipping his chin so that his eyes and mine could meet, "You're lying to me," he smiled sleepily, "What's wrong, Noa?"

I smiled; he still could read me like a book, "I can't sleep. I'm scared that if I close my eyes, even for a couple of hours when I wake, you'll be gone and this would all be but a dream."

He nodded against my body, his hair tickling the inside of my arm, "But it's not. I had the same fear, and here you still are; underneath me, holding me tight against your beating heart."

I scoffed, "You should've been a poet," I quipped, placing my lips on his, "Go back to sleep, I'll be fine. Plus, you need it for your rowdy toddler."

He chuckled, closing his eyes, "So do you, baby," I shook my head and renewed my movements through his hair, "Talk to me about her."

"About Theo?" he smiled, his eyes dancing across my face, "I can talk about her for days, Trevor. She's amazing!"

He hummed, tightening his arms around me, "Just like her mother, then?"

I shook my head, "The day she was born she did exactly what you just did before waking up. I burst into tears when I saw that. She was a constant reminder of you. A beautiful, but annoying reminder of you," I giggled.

"Dad said at dinner last night that she has my pout," he laughed, the sound vibrating against my skin, "I've missed so much of her life already, baby, but to her, it's like she's known me all this time. She even fell asleep on me after you fed her yesterday on the yacht. I'm no stranger to her, but to me," he shook his head, "… she's _foreign_."

I nodded, understanding completely what he meant.

There had been a reason as to why I took some of his shirts with me for my time away. I knew people would think that it was for my comfort and peace of mind, and in part it was, but I did it for Theodora. I didn't want my child to grow up not knowing who her father was, what he looked like, or what he almost always smelled like. I wanted our child to have as much trust in him as they did in me.

It wasn't her fault that she'd been robbed the opportunity to grow up with her father in her life and have them witness all the beauty that he was as a human being. And, though most had him pegged as an uppity asshole, Trevor was the biggest empathizer I'd met in a long time.

He'd said that his daughter felt foreign to him, and I hoped he wasn't feeling the same way towards me. I knew he didn't know the difference in her cries, he didn't understand her babbles and gurgles, and he didn't comprehend some of her behavior, but I needed for him to trust his instincts, to trust in his ability to provide for his child without necessarily seeking my constant approval or presence. Ultimately, he knew what he needed to do, and I trusted him blindly to achieve what he wanted to.

"Do I," I cleared my throat, closing my eyes, "Do I feel... _foreign_ to you?"

He winced, closing his eyes when mine opened, "Noa."

I nodded, raking my nails against his scalp, "Just, be honest."

"Baby, please," he warned, "Please."

I felt his arms squeeze my sides and I breathed out, "I can't tell you I'm the same, Trevor because we both know that's not the truth. In theory, yes, but in reality, I'm not the same Noa you met that Friday morning in your office or the same Noa you came to love. This entire experience has changed me… for the better. I am a stronger, better version of that woman you knew. I'll probably need therapy again, but what I need most is your patience and love," I paused for effect, "I won't be selfish and ask you to stay if you don't want to. I need you, but your daughter needs you more."

"I'm not leaving, Noa. Whatever it takes, I am here for you _both_. But, I'll need patience too," he breathed out. "I—I'm scared… for Theo. I—I don't _know_ her, Noa. H—How do I react to her cries? How do I know what she needs? Huh? It seems as if she's known me all of this time, h—how do I achieve _that_?"

His brow had furrowed and his eyes had remained closed, protecting his emotions from all of his intense emotions, "Trust yourself just as much as she trusts you—just as much as I trust you," he opened his eyes and they shone bright with the impeding threat of tears, "Trust yourself, your instincts. You know what to do deep down, Trevor."

He nodded, quickly turning his head to place a kiss on my warm skin, "I love you so much, Noa. I love you _both_ so much!"

"And, we love you. You know that, she told you as much today," I tittered, seeing as Trevor smiled beautifully.

"Tell me everything, and don't leave out your little tattoo," he coaxed and bit his lip, settling further between my legs as I launched us down memory lane.

Attempting to consolidate a year of someone's life into just a couple of minutes of conversation was hard, but I could it see in his eyes, that wishful type of look and the longing behind it. He would laugh and ask questions about his daughter. He would apologize at the pain I'd gone through those first few months of breastfeeding, and he would bite his lip and smile when I'd comment just how much Theo reminded me of him. I told him about the tattoo and what pushed me to get it in the first place: his father's visit and the reason behind it. I could feel the heat of his anger emanating from his body.

"He had no right showing up like that, Noa," he barked.

I continued running my fingers through his long head of hair and smiled, "He didn't know, and once he figured it out, he apologized."

He shook his head, closing his eyes momentarily, "You seem to like all of that going on up there," he smirked.

I bit my lip, "Just as much as you liked the permanent ink on my hip."

He chuckled, "It's tasteful, and very much sexy."

I pursed my lips in amusement; "Really?" He nodded, "What else is tasteful and sexy?"

He smirked, biting at his lip, and raising his head from my chest, "Your cunt and the way you breathe out my name when I touch it."

I hitched a breath at his words, gasping as I felt him move. Of course he was exacerbating every desire hidden within me. He knew how to touch me and he most definitely knew how to fuck me too. He slid up my body, settling his lower half between my legs. I spread them, awarding him more access, feeling his stomach rest against mine, and his growing erection against my thigh. I moaned his name, biting my lip in succession. We were about to love again and I couldn't contain the anticipation.

He hummed at the sound that came out of my throat, leaning forward with parted lips until he claimed my mouth with his. I felt his arm against my back, pulling me downwards against his cock, and once it grazed my slit, I hissed. I was still sensitive from our earlier romp, but that was just it, we were being carnal and highly physical then, wanting to get that want and need out of the way, but this was different. We were about to reconnect. We were bound to be emotional and really reach beyond the exterior. Our moans and groans were to be different, they were to be intimate, and restoring not primal or feral.

"Trev," I whispered, arching my back into him as my head landed on the pillow below me.

I dragged my hands down his body, circling his muscular back to land at his sturdy hips where they made a detour to his cock.

I bit my lip kittenish, feeling it harden on my palm, and I brushed its head against my liquid heat. I aligned him with my entrance, opening my legs further, and feeling him ease down to the hilt. Our bodies shuddered at the contact, and for a few seconds we stayed like that, boring into each other's eyes.

"I love you," he admitted seriously.

I lifted a hand to his cheek, my fingers disappearing into soft chocolate strands. I pulled him down, flattening his body against mine as I eagerly claimed his mouth. My hands roamed his back until I reached his ass, grabbing a handful of the stout muscles, eagerly ushering him to move. He braced his bottom half on his knees, seemingly pushing my thighs against my body with his.

He delivered a passionate thrust, one where the power behind his hips drove his cock into me, and his pelvis kissed my protruding bundle of nerves. I gasped, cherishing the intensity of my emotions. He took this moment to trail his lips down my jaw to my neck, where he nestled underneath my ear. I could hear his pants and groans as each careful thrust drove us closer to our fall.

I brought my hands up his back, digging my nails momentarily on his perspiring skin, "Noa," he grunted against my skin.

One of my hands disappeared in his hair and the other clutched at his shoulder blade. I moaned for him, letting him know just how much I'd missed him, just how much I'd missed his body pressed against mine, his ragged pants against my body, his cock inside my cunt, and most importantly, how much I missed his love in mine.

His cock hit me in a slant just as his teeth sunk in my flesh and I cried out in pleasure, "God, Trevor!"

He lifted his head to meet my eyes, his blue gaze heavy with desire. Even though all I wanted to do was close my eyes and bask in the pleasure he was giving us, I couldn't deny him the intimacy of recognizing my every raw sentiment towards him.

His cheeks were flushed against the tanned ivory of his summer skin and his brow was furrowed as he tried to focus in bringing me the ultimate pleasure. I could feel him twitch inside of me, feel his stomach clenching with restraint, and I brought my hands to his face, bringing our foreheads to rest together.

"No one will ever make me feel the way you do, baby," I moaned, closing my eyes, "No one else deserves my love for you, Trevor," I opened my eyes and saw his cloudy gaze, "I'm yours," I said with conviction, hearing him grunt and crash against my lips.

His hips worked overtime just as his pelvis rubbed against my nub deliciously. I broke the kiss with a moan, and I rolled my hips, causing Trevor to buckle. I smirked, knowing exactly what I was doing for him. I clenched my inner walls, feeling my orgasm teetering at the edge, and as much as I wanted to hold his mesmerizing gaze, I couldn't. I threw my head back, opening my neck to him, cursing in the process, and almost immediately, I felt the sharpness of his teeth against my throat.

The moan that overtook me was one stained with desire, "Baby!"

He groaned as he released my sensitive skin and I wasted no time in having my lips against his simmering skin. We were slippery, flushed, and exhausted, but until we each got what we wanted out of the other, there would be no end to this dalliance. He slapped his body against me, just as I sucked on his neck. His head dropped to my shoulder and he took air in bullets. He pressed his lips to my shoulder; humming at the warmth my body produced for him.

This new angle was to be the death of me!

"Together, baby, please!" I panted.

He picked up his head, moving to rest his forehead against mine, and he awarded quick, but deep thrusts. Almost in a wave where his cock would hit that forward wall, and his pelvis would graze my clit. My mouth gaped in a silent scream and I shuddered, never deterring my gaze from his. He bit his lip, attempting to hide his amused smile.

"You feel so good, baby," he whispered, just as I felt his stomach flutter.

I pulled his chin down, tilting it perfectly to capture his moan. He delivered three short, but rapid pumps and he sagged against my body, but not before he felt my orgasm rippling through me. I broke the kiss, out of breath, and dazed.

The lack of oxygen, the power behind the orgasm, and the still rocking hips of my lover were an overdrive for my senses. I clung to his body until the last of my waves had subsided and he fully applied all of his weight against me. I struggled to swallow, not noticing the dryness of my mouth until then.

"I love you," he mused once more, lazily pressing his lips across my chest.

I tightened my gams around him, "I love you more," he chuckled, nibbling gently at my collarbone, and I hissed, "Trev…"

"I love you," he repeated, his voice fading with slumber.

I smiled, feeling his slickness underneath my hand, "I love you too, baby."

I yawned, wrapping my hand around his head to idly run my fingers through his hair. This time, I wouldn't stare Morpheus in the eyes and mock him for trying to shake me down. No, this time I would go safely to his arms, because I knew for sure that Trevor would be here when I rose.

Now I knew that we would forever wake like this. Now I knew that our love had survived this, and it would survive much, much more.


	43. Just Us

_**Just us…**_

I had convinced Trevor to spend some time at the beach house, just rekindling, getting to know each other again, and for him spend some uninterrupted time with his daughter. I'd explained how it could be an easy transition for Theo as well since she was used to just Billings and I at the house.

Even though she was not walking as of yet, she could crawl freely whilst he worked and I read. It didn't take long for Trevor to ponder the idea, after the weekend, we left briefly to the city for me to gather the remaining of our belongings from the hotel room, and for Trevor to gather clothes and several suits for when he had meetings and/or court. We had also bought a toddler bed for Theodora to sleep in whilst at the beach house.

Trevor's job was pretty flexible in that he could spend time away from his office and still be able to achieve and complete daily goals and tasks. It's not like he didn't know what he was doing and it's not like his assistant couldn't move around certain things around for him.

I had helped him direct her in moving meetings, reschedule appointments, and I even had the chance to speak to some of the bigger clients, cashing in a few favors I had. Trevor in all his awe could only smile and shake his head, still wondering how could I'd been gone for over a year, but was still able to run his work-life effectively.

A couple of weeks into our little arrangement I'd woken to find an empty bed, chancing a glance to the foot of the bed where I expected a sleeping Theodora to be at in fact turned out to be an empty bed as well.

I stretched my tight body, groaning as I felt my muscles stretch and give when I hopped out of bed. I walked towards the attached bathroom to place one of Trevor's t-shirts on, brush my teeth and face, and tie my hair up in a ponytail. The weight of my hair managed to weigh the ponytail down the right side of my face, and as I exited the bathroom, I grabbed my glasses to perch on my face. I jogged down the stairs and came to an abrupt stop when I heard Trevor and Theodora having a ' _discussion_ '.

I shook my head and smiled, leaning my shoulder against the wall as I attempted to stay hidden from the view of the two, "Theo, you have to choose. Do you want scrambled eggs or cereal?"

Theo babbled and gurgled loudly, responding to her father's inquiry, and I snickered, "Well, I'm sorry that you want something else that's not on the menu, but you have to choose young lady."

Theo continued to babble, and I couldn't help but giggle, grabbing Billings' attention in the process. She stood from where she lain and bolted towards me, "Hey there, sweets," I awarded, scratching between her ears. She licked my hands as I moved them down her body, patting her belly as I often did. I allowed myself to be seen and I heard Theo squeal, her arms and legs kicking and moving atop the kitchen bar where Trevor had a vice-like hold around her little body, "Good morning, babies."

Trevor blushed and smiled, picking up his daughter to approach me. I raised my body on the tip of my toes to kiss him... I would never tire of kissing him like this, after having gone thirteen months without his lips; I don't think I could ever have enough of them again.

"Good morning," he responded.

I dropped my body on my heels and placed a kiss to Theo's thigh, gently nibbling at her chunky leg, "Hi mama, you giving Papa a hard time over breakfast?"

Theo offered a toothy grin, going to gurgle loudly as she shook her arm, "Why can't she _just_ choose?" Trevor complained mirthfully, "Are all women born with the I-don't-know-what-to-eat trait?"

I laughed heartily, shaking my head, "I'll show you a trick, come on."

We walked back towards the kitchen and Trevor sat Theo on the bar top. I turned, grabbing an egg from the carton and a handful of multi-grain Cheerios with dark chocolate rings, "Come here," I beckoned Trevor, handing him the contents in my hands, "Have her choose by showing her the options. She'll wash it down with breast milk because Mami's chest is hurting."

Trevor nodded and turned, "Theo," he cooed softly, gaining in return the girl's expressive eyes, "Egg or cereal?" Theodora eyed the contents in her father's hands, her body leaning forward slowly, and her arm extending towards the egg, "Scrambled egg it is," he said triumphantly.

I giggled and shook my head, walking towards the bar, "Give me the cereal in your hand," he placed the handful of Cheerios in my hand and I picked at it, offering Theo my palm whilst Trevor quickly worked on the scrambled egg behind me. Theo reached for a ring and smiled at me, directing the grain circle to her mouth.

It didn't take long for Trevor to finish with the egg and plate it efficiently. He approached us, looping his arm around my waist, driving my body to his, and placing his lips to the top of my head, "I missed you so much, Noa."

I smiled, turning in his arm, "Trust me, I missed you more, and it didn't help that this one," I shot over my shoulder, "… has your mannerisms. I would burst into tears every time she did something 'Trevor-like'." Trevor beamed down at me, lingering his stare on my eyes and then my lips, "You know, you don't have to ask. My lips are still yours, papi," I husked, craning my neck to place a kiss on his jaw.

He inhaled sharply, moving his head to kiss my cheek, and in unison we spoke the same words, "I love you."

We chuckled and shook our heads. I turned to place a kiss to Theo's cheek, blowing a raspberry on her skin, and making her giggle, "I'll play with Billings on the deck whilst you two finish your breakfast."

I side stepped him and walked towards the sliding door, Billings on my heels. I played fetch with her and gave her some commands to follow until the banging of the glass door caught my attention. Theo was standing, banging her little hand against the glass with the most adorable grin on her face. Behind her was her father, holding her in place with his leg. I shook my head and slid the door, calling Billings inside. I walked towards the kitchen sink to wash my hands and fill Bills' water bowl. After tending to a panting Billings, I approached the couch, lifting and removing the t-shirt I wore, leaving me in my underwear only.

"Noa," Trevor gasped.

He still couldn't get over the fact that I was so willing to be naked now when before, I'd shy at the opportunity of being naked around him. Unless it was for sex or to shower, you'd never catch me unclothed, now, having experienced the beauty of breastfeeding, I never had a problem.

We traded Theo and I leaned back on the couch, draping her across my torso so that she could latch and relieve the growing pressure on my chest. I watched her pretty face and caressed at her back, leaning forward to place a kiss to her forehead. She smiled, but continued suckling. I felt her hand on my chest, her little fingers playing with the leaf pendant I had taken to wearing, and when I glanced up, I saw Trevor looking at me in awe, a smile on his face.

I blew him a kiss and winked, mouthing my love for him as I returned to stare at the beautiful bundle across my chest. After fifteen minutes or so, she swapped positions, and by now I was entertained with the TV. Trevor had been engrossed in some files that his assistant had brought over the previous day.

He was leaned back with Billings' head on his thigh reading absentmindedly from a Law book. Theo had finished her feeding and was on the ground playing with some blocks and I watched as she crawled towards her father's legs, standing without help of nothing sturdy.

I kicked my legs, nudging Trevor's knee when he looked up, closing and placing his book besides Billings, "Hello, little one," he smiled. Theo made her infamous piggy face, grinning as she did so, causing Trevor to chuckle loudly, "You are too cute, Theodora Langan."

"Papa, up," she said, taking several steps forward, reaching the couch with minimal effort.

I gasped when Trevor caught her in her arms, kissing her cheek. Her first steps and Trevor had been there to witness them with me.

He threw her in the air, the girl in a fit of laughter and loud squeals. I leaned back, placing my hands over my chest, finally everything felt normal. I looked lovingly at my favorite Langan's, enjoying how they loved each other, basking in their happiness over a shared moment. Good job, Theodora, and thank God for this perfect moment and opportunity. My chest ached with happiness and relief.

We were finally _us_ , we were finally family… just us!


	44. Nurturing a Thankful Heart

**WARNING:** Religious topics at play.

* * *

 _ **Nurturing a Thankful Heart**_

I had woken early on this beautiful Thursday morning and had checked the weather for the entirety of the day. We were bound to do another Langan tradition and for those who had not seen me yet, but had heard from me, today was the day I was to reconnect and rekindle relationships of my life before WITSEC.

It was early, almost an ungodly hour and I giggled. The love of my life, or should I say, the _loves_ of my life lain quietly asleep in their respective beds. Trevor knew no boundary when it came to his daughter and had spent an obscene amount of money in the decoration of her room downstairs in his triplex.

Even though I hated the fact that she was so far from me—from us—I understood that this was temporary and that I shouldn't fret, because Trevor had promised to find somewhere for us to live in. I smiled as I prepared my coffee, thankful that Trevor had kept every thing as it was when we had finally returned from Montauk.

One month had turned into two and almost three when we realized that November had crept up upon us. The ocean air had turned brisk and felt like a shove instead of an embrace.

We had made it back to Manhattan a couple of weeks prior and between teary phone calls, angry reactions from Tristan _and_ Sara, I still did not want to be seen. To Trevor I felt and looked the same, to the family I'd become bolder, ruthless, and changed.

Sure, because I wasn't supposed to change after living a year in a life that didn't belong to me… I felt the same, with a few physical changes, but the same nonetheless. I was Noa Elisa Diaz, but not the one they had come to know.

Gigi and Tilly were still short and distant, but that didn't matter. Trevor's demeanor was the one that mattered to me, and he hadn't change. His love and desire to be near me had only grown. I was his until I was not, anymore.

I walked downstairs to where Billings had now made a home in the laundry room and she bounced, excited to see my face. I basked in the unconditional love a pet can have towards you, but she wasn't _just_ a pet, she was a part of this family, she had a piece of our hearts. I kissed between her ears and opened the door that would lead to the patio so that she could relieve herself and prance about.

I played with her and after roughly thirty minutes, she had tired and my coffee had diminished in its mug. We walked inside, sitting on a chair, I checked for the scar and spot where her left eye ought to be for any secretions, dirt from outside, or any other concerning signs. I plated some food and water and left her to feast whilst I walked down the short hallway to Theodora's room.

The door was ajar, just for her comfort and so that Billings could keep an eye on her favorite small human cub. I leaned on the frame, holding the empty mug by my side just as she shifted in her petite toddler bed. She groaned softly, sitting up, and glancing about. She lifted her covers in search of something, and once she found it she turned and placed her head on her pillow once again, facing the door. I smiled at my daughter and waved. Her toothy grin in full exposure as I slowly approached the bed. I knelt and kissed her cheek, feeling her small arms circle my neck and I chuckled, embracing her fully. I stayed like that, locked in her powerful toddler grip until Billings' collar jingled behind me.

"Bis," she cooed, releasing my neck.

I shushed her, not wanting Trevor to wake when I knew we didn't have to be up for another hour or so. She giggled and mimicked me as I stood and grabbed her. We made our way to the upstairs and I sat her on the kitchen counter, "Hungry?"

She nodded, "Eggs!" she shouted, one of her newly learned words.

I shook my head and placed her on my hip, walking to the fridge to grab the essentials to start making our breakfast. I knew that as soon as Trevor heard us downstairs he would wake, so I grabbed enough to make us both omelets and boil an egg for our toddler. I cut up a banana and placed it in a bowl so that Theo could eat whilst I prepared breakfast.

"Mami, Papa?" she asked with a furrowed brow.

By now, she had grown accustomed in seeing both of us in the mornings, but I knew Trevor would be sleeping in this morning. It had been a long week and his case yesterday had been—according to him, " _A fucking mess,_ " and he just needed to sleep off the edge.

"Papa's sleeping, baby."

"Papa eat," she uttered, grabbing at the small bowl of bananas, and I couldn't help but feel my heart burst in its cavity.

"Ok, Papa will eat. Let's go see if he's awake," I said simply as I grabbed her to sit her on my hip.

I quickly climbed the stairs to the master suite and I was grateful that he and I had kept it PG the prior night. He was in his boxer briefs as he slept and I could leave Theo in the bed with him without him feeling remotely bad about his lack of clothing. I approached the bed and saw him facing towards my side, one arm draped across his naked chest and the other above his head. I placed Theodora on the bed and she crawled to his side, whispering his name.

"Give Papa a kiss, Theo," I watched as the girl placed her small pouty lips on his stubbly cheek and he stirred, groaning as his muscles adjusted.

He brought down the arm above his head to land perfectly on Theo's back and he opened his lids, blue eyes piercing, "Hi Papa!" Theo exclaimed.

He closed them briefly and smiled, "Hi Theo, baby."

"Papa, eat."

Theo had offered him a sliced banana that he took contently, "I'll leave you two," I said, handing Theo my phone with one of her favorite shows for entertainment as Trevor and her cuddled in our bed.

"You're part of this party too, Noa," he said groggily, sleep still evident in his voice.

I circled the bed to kiss his lips, "No, I'm making breakfast. She wanted to make sure you were eating too. Sleep baby, I'll call for you both when I'm done."

He moaned. "My girls," he mumbled before turning and wrapping his arms around Theo's body.

I disappeared downstairs and busied myself in the kitchen. It didn't take more than twenty minutes for me to finish and have everything ready when they came downstairs. Billings, upon seeing Trevor, whipped her tail furiously until Trevor paid her some attention. We ate joyously and when the time came, I took Theo downstairs to bathe and dress her for us to make our way down to Church in Queens and later to the Langan's home where they would be hosting Thanksgiving dinner.

I'd dressed Theo in a navy and white vertical stripes dress with matching diaper shorts, and navy toddler cross sandals. I brushed her curls and placed a lace cream headband with bow on her head. As I helped her up the stairs, Trevor sat at the table, reading the news and nursing his second cup of coffee when Theo pranced to his legs. Trevor's eyes shone at the love his daughter had for him despite of everything that had transpired. I caught his eyes and I sneaked upstairs to shower and get ready. I wore a blush knee-length dress with thin shoulders straps and a deep-v neckline. The dress hugged my hips and I paired it with strappy, lace up heels. My hair cascaded down my sides in loose waves.

Thankfully, Trevor had showered whilst I took care of Theo and he couldn't have looked more handsome in his light blue button-down long sleeved shirt that was cuffed at the forearms, brown belt and dress shoes, and navy fitted slacks. He showered me with compliments and we left, donning our coats for added warmth.

"Anything relevant on the news?" I asked, applying a nude shade of lipstick to my lips.

"I don't know, I didn't get a chance to read them this morning," he replied, maneuvering our way out of Manhattan.

"Oh?" I questioned as I leaned back, dumping in my purse the capped tube, "I thought that's what you were doing when Theo and I returned from downstairs."

He shook his head and smirked, "No, I was looking at real estate."

"Oh," I perked up in the bucket seat, "And?"

"What about Roosevelt Island?" he asked with a slight smirk to his lips.

I arched a brow, "What _about_ Roosevelt Island?"

"W—What do you think of it?"

I tittered and it turned into a belly-roaring laugh, "There's no reason to _go_ to Roosevelt Island," Trevor looked confused, shocked almost and I knew then he was asking about the possibility of moving there, "I am _not_ living in Roosevelt Island. I _refuse_ to take that nasty ass train that's underneath the 59th bridge… There's no charm whatsoever. No."

Trevor laughed heartily, "There's charm to Roosevelt Island."

I guffawed, "Yea, so much charm that they banned the lepers to it. Trevor," I whined playfully.

Trevor laughed heartily, "There's so much space there, though."

I glared playfully at him, pursing my lips, "If you ever want inside this dress, you'll drop this idea. ASAP."

"You were the one that said anywhere."

"Anywhere _but_ Roosevelt Island," I relented, giggling.

"So now the word 'anywhere' has rules and stipulations?" I smirked, watching his beautiful profile. He hadn't shaved this morning and his five o'clock shadow looked enticing on his face. I parted my lips, pushing my tongue between my lips as he turned, "It's Thanksgiving, Noa. And, we're on our way to _Church_. You can't look at me that way."

I stretched my arm, running my fingers over his stubble. I made my way down his jaw and he turned his face, biting my forefinger lightly and I hissed. He pursed his lips and kissed my pad, "I love you."

"I wuv too, Mami," Theo answered for Trevor.

Trevor chuckled, "What the brilliant kid said."

I shook my head and enjoyed the ride until we were finally parked at the Church. Inside the busy structure we were able to locate an empty enough pew to sit the Novak-Cabot's and us whilst the rest of the family were scattered several pews in front and behind us as well.

The sermon begun shortly after with the Priest leading with, "As is the case with most virtues, you do not magically become thankful. There are disciplines and habits you can cultivate that can reap a harvest of gratefulness in your life."

He continued his premise by supporting it with 1 Chronicles 16:34 and Ephesians 5:18-20, "Every good and perfect gift comes from God. When we begin to recognize and embrace his truth, it helps facilitate a greater relationship with Him. But, let's get into some disciplines and habits we can develop to help us create hearts that are thankful…"

As I sat there, with Emily to one side and Trevor with a happy-looking Theodora on his lap on the other, I ventured in thought. I listened to the Priest's words, _giving thanks requires practice_.

It sure does. Sometimes we were too vested in what's going on in our lives that we often forgot to say thanks. To God. To the Universe. To whomever it was that one prayed to at nights, we forgot. And, we walked with our noses in our phones or our minds in the tasks that still required attention that we missed the opportunity of pointing out when we saw something good. We all complained, me for example on our ride here complained about the possibility of living in Roosevelt Island that I forgot to even _thank_ Trevor for taking a moment to search for a place to call home with me and his daughter.

I turned my face, smiling up at the prominent jawline of my lover.

His face turned slowly, his smile evident, "Thank you for taking time to search for a home, baby," I mentioned softly, leaning to place my lips on his quickly.

He hummed his approval and winked at me, turning to pay attention once more to what was going on in the pulpit.

 _Give thanks in all circumstances_. He spoke about Paul in Thessalonians and how we lacked perspective when certain things happened in our lives. But, what do we _really_ know? We know that a higher power is in the middle of it, and whoever that may be, they are working to bring the good out of it.

I smiled and stared at my lap, turning my left arm around to look at the healed scar where Milo had been able to slice my skin. What good could that situation bring—at that moment—other than my death and the endangering of my child? Well, the Marshals had been able to corner him in my home in Lynnhaven where he was finally apprehended. I'd been free since then; back in the arms of the man I loved so.

I sighed contently and lifted my gaze just as he said, _recognize the good that has come from bad experiences_ , and I giggled, leaning my head against Trevor's shoulder. His lips found the crown of my head where he inhaled softly and placed a kiss.

 _Give thanks when things are going well_ , silly I know, but important. People nowadays seemed to only give thanks when something good happened or when an act of service had taken place, forgetting to say thanks just because. Trevor didn't _need_ to say thanks to me, he just did. Sometimes I didn't even know what he was saying thanks for, but I would smile and respond by nodding, a simple 'you're welcome', or with a kiss. I didn't need to question his motives, just acknowledge them and be content that he had done so.

 _Understand the_ _ **power**_ _of giving thanks._ It _was_ truly something else. Not too long ago Trevor had said 'I love you' to his daughter and she giddily had responded with a 'thank you, Papa' and the love and gratitude and hopefulness in his eyes was enough to have me crying tears of joy. It was the little and simple things. It's all it took.

"Thanksgiving is a superpower," the Priest said, eliciting scattered laughter through the Church, "Not only are thankful people able to draw strength through gratitude, but they are also able to empower others with their perspective as well. Go home to your loved ones. Hug and cherish them, thank them for the meal they have prepared you, thank them for being the way they are with you, thank them just because! Thank Him."

The congregation shouted their amen and stood to hug their neighbor as a hymn begun being felt through. We all stood, wrapping each other in our arms. Trevor's lips found purchase in mine and I let myself go, allowing to be wrapped in all the love he had to offer and give.

Oh, how I loved that man!

We exited the Church as quickly as we could and we were on our way to the Langan home. Shortly after our arrival, Sara and my mother arrived. It was a teary welcoming, one where I didn't know what else to feel. My mother was surprised by the news that she had a grandchild, one that had been hidden from her for more than a year. If she was upset about it, she didn't let me know, and she certainly wasn't putting much of a fight once her eyes landed on my little bundle of walking joy.

Later on, Tristan and Jacob were shown inside by Gigi and upon laying eyes on the beautiful man, whom I had called my best friend on more than one occasion, my heart somersaulted. He looked relatively the same; broad shoulders, square jaw, and in his hands, a bouquet of tulips. I choked on my sob and I quickly made it to him, feeling him wrap his arms around me. I had happy tears streaming down my face, but his were more... sorrowful. My guess, he was hurt with the whole ordeal, so had been Sara, so had been the entire family until they knew what really had happened to me.

We fell into comfortable chatter with catching up and reconnecting after more than a year of being apart. Sara fawned over her niece and constantly asked if Theo was _truly_ okay after falling, tripping, or me disciplining her over a tantrum. I had placed her on a short time-out for being too rough with one of the babies after Trevor had disciplined her for not allowing her to climb his lap when he had both Wallace and Wyatt in his hands momentarily. Afterwards, she returned, head low on her shoulders, red-rimmed eyes, and a pouty, trembling lip. I giggled as she went to Trevor, dragging her sock doll. Sara had approached me, asking if she could give her something to eat to ease the burning sting of a scolding.

"As long as it isn't candy, it's fine. We're about to eat anyways."

Food flowed throughout the table, laughter, and loud chatter was welcomed and appreciated from my part, at least. After feasting, the men left to decorate on the outside and the women on the inside. Music was flowing, and as I busied myself dancing with Theodora and Zachary, I could feel Trevor's eyes on my backside. We were right in front of the window in the formal dining room, decorating it after having eaten there. I sang along to the song as Zach mumbled the words he knew, and Theo on the other hand just babbled and swung her little hips to the rhythm of the music.

I heard the door open and the sudden rush of stiff, dry, cold air to later feel arms surrounding my waist flushing me close to their body. The height was right, the sturdiness was correct, it was Trevor and I leaned sideways to unpin my hair from between our bodies. I felt his lips on my exposed neck and shoulder and I hummed, leaning my head against his shoulder. He swayed us, shifting from foot to foot as we watched Theo and Zach dance together. I giggled at Theo's dance moves; she looked incredibly adorable when I felt his lips on the shell of my ear.

"She's never leaving the house when she's older, you know that?" he whispered.

I snorted and shook my head, "And, you're a hypocrite, you know _that_?"

He chuckled softly and pressed his lips to my temple, "I can't have her dancing like her mother was dancing just now. So much so, that it completely distracted me from my task."

I bit my lip and turned in his embrace, lacing my wrists behind his neck, "No, you were distracted because you were staring at my ass."

"Me?" he said, feigning hurt, "How dare you? I would do no such thing."

I raised my brows and leaned forward, bringing my lips to his ear, "You're right, you wouldn't _just_ look at my ass. You'd slap and pinch it, groaning like a caveman. And, when you're fucking me from behind, you'd love the way it bounces off of your cock," I whispered seductively, snaking my tongue out to bring his earlobe to my mouth where I nibbled gently.

Trevor groaned and hid his face in my neck, hugging my waist tightly, "You can't let go now, Noa," he spoke against my skin, "If you do…"

I giggled coquettishly and placed a kiss below his ear. I felt little hands at my knees and I turned my head, watching Theo's expectant gaze, "Baby," I said softly, pushing back from his embrace.

He slowly let me go and I bended to pick up our kid. She was rubbing at her eyes and I knew it was time for a nap. I beckoned Trevor upstairs, since he still was very much turned on by what I had said. Trevor climbed the stairs before me when I saw Casey peek down the hallway that led to the living room, "Case," I called. "I'm going upstairs to put her down for a nap, I'll be back in a little bit."

"Got it!"

I rushed upstairs and searched for Trevor's childhood room that had remained somewhat intact with the exception of a few boxes here and there, and some of Gigi and Senior's belongings. I sat on the king size bed and giggled to myself thinking about the type of teenager Trevor could've been.

His story was plastered on the walls; posters from great baseball players of our time, basketball players, down to trophies and merit certificates that could be seen all throughout the room. He had disappeared somewhere and I had unzipped slightly my dress, easing my arm out of the thin strap on my shoulder as I accommodated Theodora to allow her to breastfeed.

I gazed at her beautifully shaped eyes and the depth of brown that surrounded them. Her eyes were a tad bit lighter than mine and I couldn't help but get lost in her slumbering face. I could see the arch of her brows that was similar to mine, her nose was button-like and I giggled. She truly was an embodiment of me at her age. I ran my thumb across her cheek and felt her snuggle against my body, something Trevor did in his sleep.

I shook my head, "You're just like your father, Theo."

I heard a silent sigh and I looked up. How long had he been standing there watching me gawk at our child? His smile was big, almost reaching his eyes when he spoke, "She looks like her mother."

He pushed his body from underneath the doorframe and came to sit next to me, "That _may_ be true, but she's her father's daughter in everything else. Isn't that charming," I quipped, leaning my shoulder against his side.

He chuckled, "I want more yous around. Whether is one more, three more, or five more, I want them all to be like you. To look like you, to think like you… I want to love them like I love you."

I smiled contently, hiding my face, "What if I want them to look like _you_?"

He grinned, "Is that what you want?" I nodded, stifling my smile with my teeth, "I'll give it to you all!"

"What if I don't want to stop having children? What if we end up with our own basketball team?" I nodded towards the wall. He sighed, rubbing his neck and I snorted, "Three or four is enough, Trevor."

"I was starting to think that maybe we needed to discuss this more in depth," he chuckled softly, "I love you, Noa. You've made me _beyond_ happy."

He leaned forward, claiming my lips in his in a sensuous lock. I knew I had teased him downstairs, and if this kiss was any indication of how he was feeling, I knew he was insatiable. He broke the kiss by resting his forehead against mine and I sighed, folding my arm to place my hand against his face. His mother called from downstairs and he kissed me once more.

"Go, I'll lay her down in here and I'll put a fort of pillows around her. Don't worry, I got it."

He left, rushing downstairs to his mother's calling. I surrounded Theo with pillows and accommodated her sock doll near her. There was a blanket that served as bed runner and I covered her with it as I kissed her chubby cheek. I covered my exposed breast with my hand and peeked out the door, making sure no one was approaching and I ducked in the bathroom, cleaning myself, and zipping my dress once more.

As I made my way down the stairs, an eerie silence could be heard and felt around the Langan home. There was a... piano playing and when the singer began his song I could place the artist, Marc Cohn.

I furrowed my brow and rushed past the landing, walking down the hallway I stopped in my tracks, covering my face with my hands, as immediate tears were quick to fall. 'True Companion' was playing in the background, and the entire family had gathered behind Trevor with glasses of champagne just as he stood a few feet in front of them with his hands in his pockets. I uncovered my face and smiled, sniffling as I made my way to him.

"Trev," it came out as a whimper. I knew what he was going to do and if I wasn't cognizant that I wasn't experiencing a heart attack, I would've personally called an ambulance.

He opened his arm to me and somehow the music lowered, still playing in the background, "It is said that God created the woman to be man's suitable helper in all things. I delight in the idea of following this scriptural teaching. When I hold your face in my hands or lean into your shoulder to feel you hold me, I know this is the place I am meant to be for all time.

"You are the person with whom I am meant to share my life with," he paused, getting on one knee in front of me, and I couldn't help the audible gasp that left my body. The lyric ' _I've got my heart set on our wedding day_ ' played and I could feel my heart burst.

"You are my heart, my home, my joy, my every waking moment, my dream of happiness…" ' _I've got this vision of a girl in white, made my decision that it's you all right._ '

He pulled out a four-carat oval solitaire diamond with micro-pave band ring, "Let's grow old together."

* * *

 **A/N:** I enjoyed writing this chapter a lot. If you haven't heard the song by Marc Cohn, play it whilst reading the end of the chapter. You'll get an idea of what Trevor was thinking. :)


	45. Business Trip

_**Business Trip**_

"Noa," I heard Trevor call out my name as he walked in through the apartment door. We'd yet to find a place to call home and with the preparations for the wedding, raising Theo, and attempting to find a job at a firm that _wasn't_ going to take advantage of me, it had been quite difficult.

"In your office!" I shouted back, watching as Billings dispersed to meet Trevor.

Theo was playing by my feet as I looked over several floral arrangements our wedding planner—Masha—had sent for us to choose. I'd been going back and forth a couple of them that would serve as centerpiece for our wedding reception. My brow was pulled in and I could feel myself gnawing at my bottom lip when I heard Theo squeal and babble.

"Papa!" she shouted.

"Hey, TJ!" Trevor awarded back, stomping to pick up his stumbling daughter.

Theo gurgled unintelligibly and I smirked, "Mami, Papa."

"I know baby, Papa's home," I turned my head towards the door to see Trevor tossing Theodora in the air. I shook my head, smiling, "You spoil her."

Trevor threw Theo up in the air once more, and when he caught her, he placed a kiss to her cheek, propping her up on his forearm, "I spoil _both_ of my girls and you know that."

I tittered and stood, approaching the tall man. "You haven't spoiled _this_ girl in quite some time, Mr. Langan," I husked, my hands at my hips.

He smirked and closed the small gap between us, leaning down to place his lips on mine. "I plan on spoiling you tonight," he spoke against my lips and as he finished he pressed his mouth on mine.

I hummed, biting at my lip, "What's the occasion?"

He shrugged, turning his head to face Theo. "No reason. I just want to share some possible good news and spend some alone time with my soon-to-be wife," he smiled, tickling Theo.

As she squealed, I answered, "And, what about child care?"

"Already taken care of," he looked at me. "I spoke to Casey and Lex and they're more than happy to keep Theo for the night. We'll pick her up tomorrow morning at Mom and Dad's."

I sighed, "Trevor, is this going to be an opportunity for Alex to corner me and ask me _again_ to testify? I really don't want to do that. Can't she offer him a deal so that the proceedings can go to federal court and he can be sentenced there, too?"

"Noa," he tried.

"Why can't he just... confess? He really just gets off in seeing me in pain," I sighed heavily, shifting my feet.

"Baby," he tried again, wrapping his free hand around my waist. "I already spoke to her and we can discuss that in her office later on in the week. And, do you really think that pompous asshole would allocute?"

I leaned into Trevor, "Yea, but what if she sub—"

" _We..._ " he begun, raising his eyebrow, "... can worry about that later. Right now, I just want you to focus on tonight." He shook his head, bouncing Theo in his arm. "You are to be my wife, and I'll do whatever it takes to make you happy. To make you _both_ happy," he finished, looking between Theo and I. "You're my girls," he shrugged. " _Anything_ for my girls."

I scoffed, smiling, and shaking my head slightly, "All right then, hold up your promise and help your girl pick the flower arrangement for table centerpieces."

I turned and walked towards the desk, using the mouse to open the few I liked most. Trevor hummed and took a seat, sitting Theodora on his lap. He sifted through the different pictures of different angles of each of the arrangements and hummed, "I like these two."

I smiled. He had picked my first and third runner-up. "At least we agree on one," I simply said, taking the mouse from his hand and clicking on the beautiful arrangement we both seemed to like.

"That's the winner?"

I bit my lip, "Looks like it!"

He shifted Theo on his lap, having her sit on the opposite thigh. He wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me towards him, having me sit on his thigh. "I love it," he said, kissing me quickly.

"And, I love you," I replied, biting my lip.

"I wuv Mami," Theo squealed, leaning forward to be in my arms.

I giggled and took her in my arms, "I love you too, Theo." I placed a kiss to her cheek and saw Trevor pout, "Uh oh, Theo. Look, Papa's sad."

She gasped, "I wuv Papa!"

Trevor smiled and kissed his daughter, "I love you more, TJ."

* * *

I had dressed simply in a red A-line jumpsuit with red sandal heels. I had parted my hair down the middle and had wand it briefly to give it a romantic look. Trevor had kept me in the dark as to where exactly he was taking me, but before that could happen, we had to drop off Theodora at the Novak-Cabot's home.

I was in Theo's room downstairs, packing her an overnight bag when I felt his arm circle my waist. I smiled and gave in to his touch. He pulled me into him, releasing me briefly for him to move my long curtain of hair over my right shoulder to expose my neck. I felt his breath on my shoulder and I shuddered, feeling his lips below my ear.

He hummed and kissed me again, "You smell good."

I tittered and placed my hands atop his, "So do you."

"It's your favorite," he said against my skin, trailing his lips to the base of my neck. "Yours and Theo's."

I closed my eyes and smiled, "I know, it's why you keep wearing it."

He chuckled, placing a kiss to my shoulder and releasing me. I turned and smirked, eyeing his all-black ensemble. He was wearing a black button-down that was neatly cuffed at his forearms, black fitted trousers, and his black dress boots. I bit my lip and focused on the way his trousers hung low where I liked them, his belt tight, and his shirt tucked. A shiver ran down my spine as I slowly reacted to the man's choice of apparel.

"See something you like, baby?"

I glanced up at him with a smirk and quickly darted my eyes to where Theo was sitting calmly on the floor, playing with her toys. I took a step forward and he placed his hands on my hips, "Why are you wearing all-black?"

Trevor hummed and nodded. "Ah," he mused. "I was hoping to get lucky tonight. I have a date."

I pushed into his body, my hands at his biceps, "Lucky huh? And, what makes you think she'll have sex with you?"

He smirked and lowered his lips to hover just above mine, "The way she's looking at me with glossy eyes. The sudden drop of her voice and deep fall of her chest. Also, the part of her lips as I hover mine above hers."

Every word he had spoken had me swimming in arousal. His breath had mingled with mine and his scent was overpowering every corner of Theo's room. I was more than ready to have him bed me, but that would have to wait. I swallowed thickly and craned my neck to push my lips into his when he pulled back, smirking.

"Trev!"

He turned and chortled, bending to pick up Theo. "Baby, are you ready? Mama's hungry," he said to the girl, glancing back and throwing a wink at me. I scoffed and shook my head, mumbling my distaste under my breath, "W—What was that, Noa?"

I grunted, closing Theo's bag. "Nada," I replied smarmily.

Trevor laughed and went about his way with Theo as I grabbed her small bag and sock doll that she couldn't sleep or function without. We left the apartment shortly after and made our way to the Novak-Cabot townhome. Once we had successfully dropped off Theo at her aunts' house with minimal tears shed, we made it to Tribeca to a beautiful Japanese-Peruvian restaurant.

Trevor had wanted to try this place out for a while now and I was glad he had chosen today to do so. After being seated and having placed our vast orders we sat back and enjoyed each other's company. He reached for my left hand and thumbed my ring. He smiled at it and sighed, running his thumb down my finger and up again to repeat the motion.

"You're hiding something, I can feel it," I smiled, taking a sip of my lemon chuhai drink.

He smirked and slowly awarded me his eyes, "I received a call from Adolfo Beauchamp."

I hummed, licking my lips and placing my glass down. I leaned forward, "And?" ushering him with my free hand.

"I told him about the wedding—he's happy for us and would like an invitation for the reception," I smiled and nodded. "He would also like to meet with me… and you."

I furrowed my brow and leaned back slightly, "Why does he want to meet with you, _and me_ for that matter? To discuss what?"

Trevor shrugged and shook his head, looking down at the ring on my fourth finger and fidgeting with it, "I don't know. He wants us to meet with him."

"O—Ok, when?"

"On Thursday of next week."

"Uh, sure. I think I can ask Sara to watch Theo for a couple of hours," I responded absentmindedly. Trevor sighed and bit his lip. I knew something was wrong. I pulled my hand away and laced my fingers together, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath in, "If you don't say what the hell it is you want to say, so help me God…"

He winced at the quick loss of my hand from his grasp. "Babe," he complained, as I glared at him. He sighed, "Fito is not in the city."

I furrowed my brow once more, "Trevor, por favor."

"He wants us to go to Chicago to discuss job opportunities," he deadpanned quickly.

I puffed and leaned back, "And, you agreed to this?"

He looked up at me, "I said I would discuss it with you and that I would call him during the weekend to let him know _our_ answer."

" _Our_ answer?" I scoffed, grinning in amusement. "You mean _my_ answer, because _you_ have already made up your mind."

"N—"

He started, but I raised my hand and clicked my tongue, "I'm not done. How would _he_ know about job opportunities, Trevor Langan?"

Trevor leaned back, rubbing at his jaw, "He heard what happened with Carlisle & James."

I parted my mouth and looked away, I knew there was nothing else he despised more than when I took my eyes away from him. Yes, I was upset, but I had to think of the bigger issue here.

Adolfo had been a great mentor back when I worked with him in Spain, and knowing him back there had definitely opened a lot of doors for me and I would be forever grateful for that. But, how had he found out about Carlisle & James? I had only told Trevor and we had discussed it briefly with Senior, so only one of the both might've had the slip.

"I—I have two questions," I begun, tapping my fingers against the table, swiveling my head slowly to look at him. "How did he find out?"

"Dad told him, it's why he called me. And, no Noa, I didn't know nor did I ask Dad to talk to him," he quickly added.

Before I had the chance to respond, our waiter brought out our food. We thanked the young man and allowed for him to leave when I grabbed the utensils and rapidly began working on my meal. Trevor knew that I needed to process all that he had said. He had been cryptic for a reason and now I understood why. This was a lot. And, it wasn't the whole business trip situation; it was the possibility of possibly having to uproot our lives for a second time.

It wasn't as hard when it came to staying with Theo at the beach house those months after being back because I still kept up with the same routine, but once in the city, it had been difficult for Theo. She had to adjust to being cooped up the majority of the time and she had to acclimate to having all these wonderful people surround her and care for her. I couldn't do that to her a second time. It wouldn't be fair to her.

We needed to think of her.

Being gone for a couple of days wasn't going to be an issue, the issue was going to be deciding on whether or not this would be the correct choice for our family.

We had to think that here in the city, we could call Alex or Casey, do a short drive to either Jersey City, Queens, or the Bronx and drop her off with _family_. In Chicago, we would have to find childcare for her. A complete stranger and knowing Trevor, no one would _ever_ be good enough, and knowing my history and trauma, extensive background checks would have to be done.

I gritted my teeth as I chewed and swallowed, taking a swig of water to wash it all down. I sighed, " _If_ we do this, Trevor, I need it to be by _my_ rules."

Trevor looked up from his plate and grinned, dropping his chopsticks and wiping his mouth with the napkin, "I'm listening."

"I know Adolfo, in a business perspective and I know how he enjoys busting balls just for the hell of it. I've seen it one too many times, and though it works on most, it won't on me," I paused for effect. "I know the businesses he has in Chicago and the type of revenue they pull. I will say this now, _once_ and that is it. I have no problem nor am I opposed to you possibly making a business trip once or twice a month to Chicago for up to a week at a time. I trust you and I trust that our relationship and subsequent marriage will remain rooted and with love even though some hardships may occur. But," I renewed, shifting in my seat. "We, as in Theodora and I, _will not_ move almost eight-hundred miles for a job. She's far too young for that to happen again.

"I, in the other hand, will not make any choice regarding trips and a career until I've heard what Adolfo has to say and _we_ —you and I—have had a private conversation about it. Call me old-fashioned, or whatever you may, but you are still the man of this relationship, and you _are_ providing for us currently. Your input will always matter to me."

Trevor smiled and bit his lip handsomely, "Is this a glimpse of Noa the publicist?"

I snickered and shook my head, "Did you even _listen_ to a word that I said?"

He nodded. "Trust me, I did, and you've managed to turn me on in a way I never thought possible," I shook my head, smiling. "But, I heard you loud and clear. I was just as nonplussed as you were when he called and suggested all of this, Noa. And, when I told him that I would call him to give him our answer, I meant that. I'm always ready to dive into the next business venture, especially if it means having the chance to work differently with someone like Fito, but I have a daughter now, and I cannot be making rash decisions like those any longer."

I nodded and bit my lip, hiding my smile, "I am glad you understand and comprehend that, Trev."

He smiled and reached for my hand, just as I managed to extend my leg underneath the table rub the toe of my shoe against his calf. He hitched a breath and chuckled, "We have to leave, now," he growled, clearing his throat. "I will clear this table and fuck you senseless without a care for who watches."

I bit my lip and giggled seductively, inching my foot up his leg. "Let us go then," I replied coquettishly. "I am ready to moan your name, and scream how much I fucking love to hate how your cock makes my cunt turn into a shooting star," I husked, feeling the sudden octave drop of my voice and the quickness of Trevor's attempt to stand gracefully.

He knocked the table, rattling the glasses and plates on it. "Oh, I'll make you pay for that," he mused, grinning.

I hummed and stood, straightening the fabric at my thighs, and sighing, "Promises, promises."

* * *

 **A/N:** I know there may be some questions about _what_ happened at Carlisle & James, but I will leave that to you, the reader. What ever you think happened, is what happened. I didn't want to add yet another chapter as a filler to drag this on. As my own beta and proof-reader, I need to understand what to cut and what to add. Also, this takes place around April/May after the holidays where Trevor proposed to Noa.


	46. Business Dinner

**WARNING:** Sexual language and acts at play.

* * *

 _ **Business Dinner**_

Trevor and I had agreed to go to Chicago and meet Adolfo there for his business opportunity talk. Adolfo was a trustworthy person and I had no problem in sitting down with him and telling him what I liked and disliked about an idea or situation. We had worked together before and once he'd learned to trust me, he understood that listening to my ideas and me overall, wasn't always as bad as he may have thought.

We had left a very teary and inconsolable Theodora in the hands of Gigi and Senior. I didn't trust my mother at all with my daughter as of yet, and she couldn't take care of her regardless, she worked, part time only, but she did. And, Sara had had a turn around and was now working full-time hours at a doctor's office.

We had arrived to Chicago in the middle of the week and that afternoon we had gone and explored the city a little and had spent a beautiful evening dining on the Navy Pier. The following day, Trevor had made plans during the day with colleagues and friends and was to spend the majority of the day out of our hotel suite.

I decided to make the most out of the day, before our dinner and meeting with Adolfo, and continue with our wedding preparations from here. Just because I was out of town, didn't mean that I couldn't do productive things. I had spoken with Masha and she had recommended several places to check out for wedding dresses and floral headband arrangements here in Chicago.

I spent the day trying on dresses and finding the perfect headpiece for the flower girl, Theo, and I. Overall, I had had productive day and I managed to find the perfect wedding dress for me to marry Trevor in. Once back in the suite I decided to jump in the shower since it was nearing the time for Trevor to return and start getting ready for our meeting with Adolfo.

As I was finishing washing my—still—long curtain of hair, I heard the door to our suite open. It could only be one of two, Trevor or housekeeping. "Noa?" It was Trevor and I smiled, shaking my head. He found me in the shower and looked at me through the glass walls, "Started without me?"

"I needed a head start. This long ass hair takes time to wash," I defended, watching as Trevor quickly undressed.

I opened the shower door and brought my hair over my shoulder, reaching on the ledge to grab my comb to begin detangling it. Trevor stepped in and closed the door, quickly grabbing my face and pushing his lips on mine. My mouth willingly parted and my hands moved to have him wrapped in my arms. I moaned into the kiss, feeling how his tongue searched and teased me. His mouth tasted of whisky and mint and I pulled back, gasping for air.

"You've been drinking," I mentioned.

He nodded and turned us to have him underneath the spray. "Pre-dinner cocktails," he said, leaning his head back to wet his hair. "We were finally able to be all together in one space and setting so I broke the news of our engagement to them. And, I invited them to the wedding reception as well."

I smiled as I worked the ends of my hair, "How'd they take it?"

"It's why I've ben drinking, baby," he smiled boyishly. "I showed them pictures of you and Theo."

"Are these the same guys that almost convinced you to move out here back when the Miranda thing happened?"

He nodded, grabbing at his liquid soap and loofah, "Yes! Thankfully Alex convinced me to stay, otherwise, I would've never met you."

I smiled, "Thank God for Alex."

I watched him as he worked his body with suds; the gods themselves chiseled Trevor's body. Where did such perfection come from? How was his body so perfectly perfect?

Why?

Was it for me?

I felt his fingers on my chin and his thumb applying pressure below my lower lip, coaxing me to release it from its pearly prison when he spoke, "Baby, you're staring."

I sighed, "I'm allowed. I'll be your wife in a couple of months."

He stepped to me, placing his hands on my hips. "Indeed," he said, as I raised my head to kiss him. "Here, let me do it."

He took the comb and I turned, feeling him run it through my hair. I relaxed and gave in to the feeling.

I had seen him with Theo during her bath routine. Even though Theo's ringlets only went past her ears, we made it a point to deep condition it and keep up with her curls. The same gentle hand he used on our daughter, he used on me, and I could feel the tickle of the comb against my skin a little below my ribs where my hair ended.

I felt his hand at my neck, moving my hair away, and his lips were quickly on my skin. He licked and tasted my pulse point, sucking and biting until I whimpered. My hands flew to his hips behind me where I dug my nails and found purchase. I could feel his raging erection behind me, but our time was measured, we couldn't risk being late! I think he realized that as well and pulled back, tugging at my skin with his teeth and we hissed in unison; him because of my nails and me because of his teeth.

"Jesus, Trevor," I said breathily, moving my hand to run the pads of my fingers on the burning spot at my neck. As I turned I saw the desire in his eyes and his cock at attention. I grabbed it and gave it a gentle squeeze, making him groan and close his eyes, "I promise, when we come back I'll make it up to you."

He smiled, "Get out so that I can turn the water to cold."

I giggled and did as bidden. I began drying my hair when I heard his groan as the water hit his body. "I love you," I said.

"Yea, yea, yea," he replied.

I begun getting ready when he exited the shower and I quickly had my lips on his. I bit and tugged at his bottom lip, releasing and speaking against his mouth, "Tonight, I promise."

He squeezed and slapped my ass cheek; "I'm holding you up to that."

I shook my head and turned, continuing working on my face and body for the night. I was almost ready when Trevor re-entered the bathroom, looking to style his hair, "I found _the_ dress today."

He looked at my reflection with love in his eyes. "Yea?" I nodded. "You bought it?"

"You know it!" I paused, smiling. "Two months, to the day. I can't wait."

He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, propping his body on the counter and kissing my cheek, "Neither can I."

My hair had dried enough and though still damp, I managed to put it up in a high ponytail when I noticed the love bite Trevor had left on my skin. I shook my head and thanked the heavens for allowing me to wear a turtleneck, long-sleeved bodysuit tonight. I was to pair it with mustard palazzo dungarees. Trevor as usual looked handsome in one of his more casual suits. We were able to leave the hotel and arrive at the restaurant just in time to see Adolfo accompanied by two other men.

"D—Did he say we were the only ones to participate in this meeting?"

Trevor shook his head and wrapped his arm around my waist as Adolfo approached us, "No, maybe they are business partners?"

"No, I know his business partners. _They_ are new," I replied, bringing my hand around Trevor's back.

"Noa, ¡estás hermosa!" he complimented. "Come on, I'll introduce you inside."

We were led to a private room with a round table that fit us five perfectly. As expected, Adolfo avoided shoptalk until after dinner.

Trevor and I had been briefly introduced to the men that accompanied Adolfo tonight. The tall, Mediterranean-looking one was named Rajid Abdi, and the tall, bald, mature gentleman was named Timothy Miller. We talked about family, our wedding, my time in WITSEC, and more.

The table had been cleared and we were waiting for Rajid and Adolfo to finish their coffee when he leaned forward, "So Noa, I was made aware of the situation with Carlisle & James and I would like to apologize since I was the one that directed you to them."

I smiled and nodded simply, "Thank you."

He nodded and begun explaining the motive behind the meeting. "I am branching out. I have my main offices back in Spain, I have several in Seattle, I have some here in Chicago, and I think it's time to leave my imprint in New York," I glanced at Trevor and raised my brow.

"Fito, why are we here?" Trevor prodded.

"You are great at what you do, but so is Tim," he praised. "He's in charge of everything legal here in Chicago. I know you have a daughter now, Trevor, and I wouldn't want to keep you away from her… _or_ my beautiful damisela here. So, this is what you'll do if you accept my proposition. You'll continue to work your firm and Riviera-Beauchamp Enterprises will have your firm on retainer. RBE will also hold you and grant you power of attorney for anything that could happen and I cannot make it there."

Trevor looked at me, "Are we talking two separate fees?"

"Yes, it is two separate fees," Tim responded. "I can send you a rough draft of both contracts and you can make adjustments where you see fit. Once you're happy with what's being stipulated, we can sit down via Skype or I can come up to New York or you back here and we can finalize everything."

"And, you'll have time go over it with your partner too. The firm will represent RBE as a whole, but _you_ will represent its personal interests," Adolfo added.

Trevor cleared his throat. "Chicago is the center point between the two corners, Fito, don't think I didn't notice what you did there," the men across from us looked at each other and smiled. "How many times a month does the attorney from Seattle and I will have to travel here for business?"

"Once, each quarter," answered Timothy.

Trevor leaned back and I took the opportunity to wiggle my way in, "For how long?"

"Noa," Adolfo begun only to be interrupted by me.

"Adolfo, remember that I know you. That charm won't work on me. Like you said, we have a daughter and we are to be married and though I am no one to stand between a man and his money, I _will_ be someone that needs to know if she'll be raising her daughter alone or not," I mentioned sharply. "I'm still the boss," I winked at him.

Adolfo roared with laughter, he always did enjoy me putting people in their place and I knew he would appreciate it. He shook his head and signaled for Tim to continue, "For six days, usually starting on Tuesday or Wednesday right in the middle of the quarter. We'll advise a week prior and send out travel information and accommodations then."

"We all live in cold zones, what then?" I asked with a smirk.

"There is Skype, but it is advised from now that during those days, Trevor, it'll be as if you're here. Constant phone calls, emails… you'll be at work," Tim stated. "It is best you work from home."

"Is that good enough for the wife-to-be?" Adolfo quipped.

I glanced at Trevor and noticed the gleam in his eyes; "We'll see."

He hummed and nodded; "Now you Noa, you know I miss you, damisela. You have been _the_ most successful rep I've had and I miss you."

I narrowed my eyes and shook my head. "Adolfo," I warned.

"Ay, you never let me have fun," he whined. "Abdi, care to take over?"

Rajid nodded and leaned forward, "I have my own—successful—firm branch, Exert Paragon House."

I raised my brow and smirked, of course I knew of them. They had arrived in New York a little after I had moved to Spain and they had wreaked havoc in the city. They had poached clients, out of town clients went to them, and not only did they have the best clients, they were also responsible for the best events around the boroughs. It didn't matter if the event was small or not, it was the talk of the city until something else happened.

I nodded and he continued, "I cannot be in two places at once, since RBE is my account here in Chicago, Adolfo suggested you to handle his account in New York. We do quarterly bidding of accounts, so it _is_ competitive."

"So if I don't deliver, I risk the chance of losing the RBE account," I stated simply.

"Pero, you _will_ deliver. You always do. And, since I'm biggest account, I get first pick. It will be you, Noa. You're the only one that loves and listens to me," Adolfo pleaded.

"If you start within the next couple of weeks, you'll be given several new accounts, _including_ RBE," Rajid continued. "I know you're planning your wedding, but until the next quarter you'll only be working with launch campaigns, marketing strategies, and online and media presence."

I hummed, "Travel?"

"Not needed unless required or requested by a client."

"Why two PR reps on the same account?"

Rajid smiled, "I handle the people, you handle the company."

I bit my lip, "What other big accounts do you have in New York and how much personnel?"

"We all have different tasks and our strengths are not the same. We have the Children's Museum of Manhattan, and of the Arts, as well as others."

"Baby," I cooed to Trevor, giving him a glance.

He nodded, "Shelf life for both of these offers?"

"Friday of next week by three in the afternoon. I need _both_ of your responses."

We nodded as we stood. "Sounds good," Trevor conceded, shaking all of their hands.

"Gentlemen," I smiled coyly and shook my head at Adolfo. "Eres terrible," I playfully admonished, feeling Trevor's fingers fill the spaces of mine.

He leaned and kissed my temple, bidding farewell to Adolfo and the rest of the men. We exited the restaurant feeling a little light and airy.

After months of searching for a new place to settle down and start working, this opportunity had just sort of fell onto my lap. The opportunity was beautiful, and it would favor us both. Trevor could continue with his firm, handling everything he'd been handling, and now he had a great account in his hands. He was always the business savvy one, it's one of the reasons they had won that award.

I could tell that he was on cloud nine. He was always seeking new business ventures; something new to sink his teeth in, and this had finally been it.

I had just noticed that we had continued to walk once we left the restaurant, astray, without a real destination and I shook my head, looking down at our prancing feet. This was going to be a lot to process and break down, but I could feel in my gut the answer boiling inside of Trevor. He wanted to do this. He _needed_ to do this. I knew that as he smiled and shook his head, he was thinking about profit gains, a future for Theo—for us, a future for him: a legacy.

"Baby, the hotel is twenty minutes from here. We need a car," I giggled.

He nodded, bringing out his phone and searching the app of the car share rides. It didn't take long for our driver to show up and whilst we snuggled into each other in the back of the car, I couldn't help but feel my body react to the warmth of the man next to me.

I ran my palm down his toned thigh, feeling the smooth fabric of his trousers as I sat straighter next to him. On the journey up, I squeezed his thigh, turning my face up to stare at his profile. With a pout of his lips he smirked, glancing sideways and down at me. He knew I would make good to the promise I'd made him earlier in the evening, I always did…

He shifted, leaning towards his right side to ease his arm away from my back. He grabbed my neck, applying sturdy pressure. I hissed; biting my lip as he directed my chin towards him. He was quick to claim my lips, bruising me with the force of his fall onto my lips. I pulled back with hooded eyes, gauging his expression, and every time he leaned forward, I would tilt my head back out of his reach, smiling devilishly at his futile attempts to reach my lips. He growled, pinching my cheeks, and I giggled throatily, inching the fingers on his thigh closer to the crotch of his pants.

His body temperature had risen and we were more than ready to bed each other, but not in the back of car. "Tell me what you want," he demanded, his lips brushing my chin.

"You know what I want, papi," it was barely a whisper, but it served its purpose.

He nibbled on my chin, and I responded with a small gasp at the lingering burn he'd left on my skin.

The car came to a stop and I moved my head, breaking free from Trevor's hold. Before he could move, my hand moved upward, cupping his member through the fabric of his clothes and he cleared his throat, thanking the driver for a smooth drive. He opened the door and eased out, standing on the curb to wait as I slid out behind him, a prominent smirk on my lips.

I was teasing, knowingly so. We weren't discussing what had happened at dinner tonight, which would be something to discuss at home. Tonight had two options, and sleep wasn't going to preclude what we had started in the shower.

We rode the elevator to our floor, and once I started down the hallway to our hotel room, his fingers pinched my ass cheek. I looked at him over my shoulder, sliding the room key in front of the reader. He was quick to have me pressed against him once the door shut behind him, his lips at my jaw. I could feel his growing desire on my ass cheeks, just as I could feel his hot breath against the shell of my ear. I mewled, feeling his hands freely roam my body.

He needn't permission to do so, I was his, and he could bring no harm to me when we were like this. No matter how harsh his bites would get, or how heavy his hand would drop on my flesh, I knew it was all out of love, and would never be done to harm me.

We guided each other through our suite, blindly finding our way between the furniture.

His lips attacked my neck, his tongue held no mercy against my flesh yet I continuously allowed him to savor the taste of my skin. I stopped short of the bathroom door, turning in his arms and pushing myself against his body. I was eager to claim his lips, after feeling them ferociously attack my neck; I needed them on me once again.

My hands were quick on his hips, cupping his erection through the fabric of his trousers. He didn't need much stimulation; he was already raging, yet I needed to tease him just a little bit more.

I pulled back from the kiss, sighing, and humming seductively as I dragged his bottom lip between my teeth. Trevor grunted, hissing in his pain and undoubtedly his pleasure too. I stepped back, lifting my legs behind myself to rid myself of my shoes, significantly dropping a few inches off my height. I used my thumbs to bring down the straps of my dungarees. Our stares were locked on each other, and he watched as I slowly stripped myself of my bottoms and stepped out of them, turning to display my bottom to him. I had forfeited my underwear, and just stuck to my bodysuit, giving Trevor less to pull off whenever he did bed me.

I looked over my shoulder, watching as he took a step forward, following me into the bathroom. He had shed his suit jacket and was working on the sleeves of his button down yet his stare never wavered from my bottom.

I stood in front of the sink I'd claim as mine for the duration of our stay and regarded his reflection on the mirror. His eyes had a devilish glint to them and I craved to understand what the look he was giving me meant.

He smirked, rubbing at his jaw. Oh, I got it now. I got it. I could feel that sudden current of arousal as it hit me twice, preparing me for him. He brought his hands down, caressing my ass cheeks. He ran his fingers up my skin, leaving goosebumps in their wake, and when he reached the small of my back, he pushed, spreading his fingers across my flesh, holding me in place.

He inspected my backside; I could see him through the mirror. He rubbed and pinched, grunting as he watched it bounce. He delivered a slap and I whimpered, biting my lip as I pushed my body towards him.

He hummed, "It's been… a minute since I've manhandled you, Noa."

He delivered another slap, soothing the burn to the same ass cheek with his palm. "I know," I breathed out, closing my eyes. "Trev," I whispered.

He chuckled deep in his throat, delivering another quick slap, and I hissed, dropping my head against the mirror, watching as my breath fogged near my mouth, "You're going to fuck yourself on my cock and I'm just going to watch… for now."

I panted when I felt his fingers down the hem of my bodysuit, moving it to the side instead of unbuttoning the crotch snaps. He wanted to humiliate me, he wanted to make me understand that I was his and only _his_. I looked over my shoulder, watching him fumble with his zipper, and reaching inside for his cock. I moaned, feeling his head between my folds, up and down like a paintbrush, exacerbating my arousal, and slowly bending my will. He stopped right at my entrance, grabbing a handful of my bottom in each of his hands, waiting for me to do something.

Trevor knew how to tease me, but I knew how to tease him too and my game was far worse than his. He wouldn't thrust into me because he was exerting his power, and I wouldn't move until he would tell me so. I rolled my hips, feeling his head give, and him grunt. I could feel myself salivating in anticipation and I did it again, having Trevor release the tweaked skin and simultaneously slapping both cheeks.

"Move," he said between teeth, and I obeyed, rolling my hips around his cock.

He hummed, no doubt enjoying the way my cunt felt around the head of his cock. He rubbed at my ass cheeks, bringing his hand down past my hips, where he came in contact with my sodden center. I bit my lip, holding my smirk in place as I continued rolling my hips on the head of his cock, sighing heavily just so that he could hear what a toll he was taking on my body.

"I said, _move_ ," he finished with a growl, yanking at my ponytail.

I whimpered, pushing myself back towards him, feeling him fill me to the hilt. "Trevor," I sighed, shuddering at the feel of his cock.

He gave a quick yank at my ponytail, "Are you waiting for something, Noa?"

We locked gazes through the mirror and I caught sight of the dilation of his eyes. He was enjoying this, this whatever we were doing. He seldom manhandled me, but when he did, the look of satisfaction on his face brought me great pleasure.

I'd never asked if he needed this all the time or if it was something he enjoyed doing, but his other partners were never able to give. He knew how to do it and he wouldn't break character unless I specifically told him to stop, but afterwards, after we both had gotten our fix, and came down from the high post coitus, he would make sure I was all right and he'd apologize if he ever got carried away.

It was sex.

It was a good fuck, but I never wanted his apologies. I knew what he was doing and I knew that if at any moment he was getting carried away or I wasn't comfortable anymore, I could say the word and it would all end, but I liked it. I enjoyed seeing him like this: carnal and filthy, almost unrecognizable in the pleasure he took of taking ownership of what was already his. I knew he had it in him and he would hurt me in the most sensual way alive. I wouldn't protest if this were what brought him ultimate pleasure and why would I, when I was getting good on this deal as well.

I bit my lip, smirking as I shrugged and saw anger flicker across his blue eyes. "You love a good fucking argument, don't you?" he asked, grinding his jaw, and when I didn't relent was when his anger won.

He was quick to move his hands, giving a quick tug to my hair, and forcefully grabbing at my jaw. He delivered a quick thrust and given the angle and my position over the sink, he reached my cervix with quick ease and I whimpered. "I thought I told you to _fucking_ move," he spoke lowly and with a growl against my mouth, crashing harshly against my lips.

I whimpered feeling his teeth bite my lip when I started the back and forth of my hips. He sighed against my mouth, once I finally gave him some reprieve. He leaned back, swinging his arms to slap at my ass cheeks as he watched them bounce on his cock. I knew this was for him, and only him. And, he knew that too. He knew that at this angle and without stimulation or friction of some type, I wasn't going to have either a clitoral or vaginal orgasm. This was for his pleasure and his pleasure only.

I moaned at the feel of his cock inside me as I set a decent pace for me to have some type of purchase. "Fuck," he hissed, grunting as grinded with a wave.

He stopped my hips, pushing against me without warning. I groaned, feeling his cock touch the deepest wall he could reach. He pushed me into the mirror, my cheek pressed against the glass as I saw the fog next to my mouth.

I could feel the skin of my ass cheeks warm with the burn of his slaps when he swatted his hand against my flesh, alternating sides until I mewled in pain and pleasure, "Trev."

He growled, biting his lip, and smirking. He grabbed hold of my hair, pulling until my throat was stretched, and he leaned forward, his mouth landing right next to my ear. He panted. "Now, I'm going to fuck your cunt until I'm done. Is that clear?" he asked, tugging at my earlobe with his teeth.

I struggled to swallow, but I gasped when he yanked my hair and harshly slapped my skin. I whimpered. "Fuck me," I swallowed again. "Yes."

Trevor pushed into me, growling as he spoke, "Yes, what?"

I giggled throatily, "Yes… Sir."

He slapped my ass cheek again as he pushed into my back to lower me further on the vanity. He took a step back, pulling me by the hips so that I was somewhere comfortable for him to drive continuously into me. He had loosened up on my ponytail and my head fell forward as I felt him move. This was bound to be equally torturous and pleasurable yet ultimately satisfying for the both of us.

He began thrusting his hips forward, slowly at first to test the angle of my body. Once he heard the moans coming out of me at the rub his cock vein was having on my g-spot he stopped, taking a step forward. I could feel my arousal pouring out of me and if he weren't careful, his cock would continuously slip out as he drove into me.

He picked up his pace; driving into my cunt repetitively without any regard to my pants and the grip I had on the edge of the vanity. He slapped my ass cheeks every so often, growling as he pushed himself closer to his climax.

"Jesus," he said with a shake of his head, smirking as he caught my impish glare through the reflection of the mirror.

I swallowed, moving my chin to press against my shoulder. "Papi, I can feel you pulsate," I husked with a giggle, finishing with a moan.

He smirked, burying his cock deeper within me and I grunted, feeling the pressure he created against my furthest wall. His hips faltered and I knew he was seconds away from coming when he pinched my ass cheeks, tilting his hips, and grunting carnally as he emptied his seed inside of me.

He continued rocking his hips emptying everything he had built up into me when he slumped forward, resting his sweat damp forehead against my back. I felt his lips press against the fabric of my bodysuit, trailing all the way up my spine until he reached my shoulder blades. He pinched my skin and the fabric of my bodysuit between his teeth and I hissed, shifting slightly, and hearing his groan. He was still sensitive and I could feel his exhaustion as he pressed his body against my own.

"Baby," I panted, attempting to will some moisture into my mouth. "Let's get you out of those clothes and into the shower."

"I'm not done with you, yet."

I raised my brows, watching as he gained some composure. He pushed himself straight, pulling out of my center and whipping me around. I was unsteady on my feet, having been more than manhandled only but seconds ago. I was finally able to see his face. He was florid, shiny, and dewy. His chest sported a deeper shade of crimson and as my eyes trailed down his torso, I caught a glimpse of his somewhat flaccid cock, shiny and shimmery with my nectar, and pink with tension.

He took a step forward, claiming my lips quickly. Before I knew it, I was being carried to the bed where he placed me down gently. "Baby, you don't have to do this," I panted, watching him move down my body.

"Shut up," he growled, yanking the crotch buttons and pushing the bodysuit up my belly.

"Trev—" I moaned once his tongue made contact with my sodden center.

I'd never been with a man as hungry as Trevor Langan. One who wasn't afraid to have his mouth on my cunt after having his seed swimming in me and one who wasn't afraid to be vocal about the delicious taste of us together. I grunted, feeling Trevor's teeth graze my clitoris as he sucked it in his mouth, giving me no time to react to his fingers when they disappeared inside of me.

I arched my back, moaning loudly his name, and rolling my hips into his hand. I loved when he was this… unhinged. It was like he was blinded by bringing me pleasure and no matter how much I begged, he wouldn't stop until he felt my orgasm rippling through my body. I whimpered, bringing a hand to his hair to give it a pull. I was sensitive with all the fucking we had done in the bathroom and though I didn't reach an orgasm there, my insides were still raw.

"Trevor, please," I threw my head back against the mattress, my mouth opened as he worked his fingers inside of me.

I could feel him working my g-spot and the familiar pull started gathering in my lower belly. I knew he would need help bringing me there and he was too exhausted to do so without some coaching so I propped my leg up besides him, rocking my hips against his mouth when the quickening got stronger. I could feel myself teetering on the brink of ecstasy when he pulled out and back completely, leaving me gasping for air at the loss of his contact.

I ran my hands through my hair, tugging at it in frustration, "I know what I'm doing, Noa. Stop. Moving."

"Fucking make me come!" I whined.

He chuckled deep in his throat, running his hands up my thighs. "So impatient," he mused, staring at my throbbing core. "Yet, so eager to please," he awarded as I felt his thumb teasing my lips.

"Trevor, please!" I whined, feeling a prickling sensation in my nose. "For the love of God, please!"

"Oh," he pressed his lips to my thigh and I could feel his beard tickle my cunt. "I love it when you beg."

My hands were itching to do something and I knew if I touched myself, he would prolong this out of spite so I closed my hands into a fist, digging my nails into my palm. I was so focused in my anger and desperation that I didn't even notice his absence from between my legs. I opened my eyes, looking down my nose to watch him undress.

Once naked, he climbed the length of me and reached my face when I closed my eyes briefly. "Open your eyes," he breathed against my lips, and I shuddered once I saw the intensity of his blue eyes shining back at me. " _Now_ , I'll make you come."

I felt his fingers slide inside of me with ease; first two and then three, sliding rhythmically in and out of me. "Trev," I whispered softly with a smile, closing my eyes.

His movements stopped, "Open your eyes."

My eyes snapped open and I focused on his, on the love shining back at me, the pleasure, the passion, the desire he had in bringing me closer to the fall.

I bit my lip as a moan escaped my mouth, and when he felt my walls closing in around his digits, he smirked. The cocky bastard brought his thumb to my clitoris and I sighed, shuddering in pleasure as I slowly felt the fall approach me. I was panting and heaving, still lost in bright pools of blue when he applied pressure to my clitoris, sending my lower half up into his hand. My body convulsed as I watched how his mouth parted and I felt a trickle of his saliva land on my neck.

He had legitimately slobbered on me and I had smirked when his fingers disappeared from inside of me, pushing past my lips to rest on my tongue. I held his hand in place as I sucked on his fingers, tasting the distinct taste that was mine with an aftertaste of his. I used my tongue to part his fingers inside my mouth, making sure not a drop of arousal was left behind on his fingers.

He watched with intensity as I worked his fingers just like I would his cock and I heard him grunt once I began sliding his fingers out of my mouth. He let one of his digits linger on my lower lip and I puckered my lips to press a kiss to his pad yet before I could say anything his hand had moved to my neck where his thumb and middle finger applied pressure to my carotid arteries, making me dizzy in the process.

"I love you, Noa," he mumbled near my lips before diving in as he applied more gentle pressure.

I could breathe, but was having trouble staying in the now as I quickly became lightheaded with Trevor. His teeth tugged at my lip and he released my neck, trailing his kisses down my jaw until he nestled in my neck where the hellish bite he delivered brought me out of the trance.

I gasped, feeling the sting he left on my flesh when he came back into view. "I love you," I mumbled, attempting to swallow.

He smiled, "I know."

Exhaustion had invaded every corner of my body and I felt heavy on the limbs when I repeated myself, "I love you."

He snickered, "You ok, baby?" I nodded, smiling at him. "Still want to take that shower?"

I nodded yet again, "Maybe later, I can't feel my legs."

"That's good then, means I did my job," he finished, nudging his nose against mine.

He settled besides me, resting his hand on my stomach. I felt his eyes on my profile and even the thought of moving my head was too much so I just stayed still, listening to my heartbeat.

This is what I would have for the rest of my life: a filled womb, weak limbs, a warm bottom, a buzzing body, and Trevor's love.

Missing him had for sure been one of the greatest struggles in this lifetime yet being here with him was one of the greatest pleasures. Whatever we decided from this point forward, we would do so together.

In a couple of months we were to be united as one and I couldn't wait not another damn minute for it.


	47. I Do

**WARNING:** Religious topics at play.

* * *

 _ **I Do**_

Saturday June Third I woke up with a start.

It was the morning of my wedding and I couldn't have been more excited. The reason of my interrupted sleep had been Theodora's rambunctious squeals at this early hour. I climbed off of the bed, an empty bed that had been empty since the beginning of the week at Trevor's insistence. He had been staying at his parent's home down in Queens and he'd been calling and sending Alex and Casey every day since just to video chat with Theodora. I'd wanted to see him, but he refused to see me, he'd allow for us to talk just not be seen.

I made my way down the set of stairs to reach Theo's room just to see her walking around with Billings in her room. I called out for her and she came running to my legs, screaming my name at the top of her lungs. I picked her up and wrapped her up in my arms. After changing her diaper, I petted Billings as well and turned to climb the stairs to the main level of the triplex.

As if on cue, the door rapped with knocks and I reminded myself that the girls would be coming over to get ready here at the triplex and they were to bring by brunch as well. I walked to the door, bouncing Theo on my hip when I opened the door, immediately hearing the squeals from Sara and Mona.

"Noa, you're in panties!" Casey shouted incredulously.

I giggled and nodded. "We just woke up, Case," I replied, swapping Theo so that she could be with her aunt.

"Well, we brought food," she conceded, raising her arms to show the bags they had all picked up.

They all took their turns in hugging me and walking around the apartment. We made quite the mess around the triplex sharing stories and gushing about everything that was about to happen in the next couple of hours.

"Did you find all the something's, Noa?" Alex asked.

I adjusted Theo on my lap since she had wanted to breastfeed, "No, I think the only one I have is the something new which is my dress."

Alex smirked and looked at Casey. She stood and walked towards the kitchen, reaching inside her bag and retrieving a jewelry box. She walked back and took her spot. "This belonged to my mother. My father gave it to me on my wedding day and now, I'm letting you borrow it," she finished, opening the box.

Inside she revealed a beautiful blue topaz hexagon bracelet. Between each blue topaz there was a princess cut diamond that a white gold band held together. I gasped and leaned forward. "Alex," I whispered, carefully eying the bracelet. "It's beautiful!"

"It's old, it's borrowed, _and_ it's blue," Casey mentioned with a giggle.

I chortled. "Leave it to you, Captain Obvious!" I shook my head. "Thank you, Alex."

"You're family, it's what we do," she finished with a wink.

I sighed and leaned back, allowing for Theo to finish her feeding. Sara and Ramona were in the kitchen, cleaning up the small mess we had made when Ramona spoke, "Where's Gigi and Ruth?"

I rolled my eyes, "Well, after I told Gigi that she wasn't planning the wedding any longer she... got a little hurt so I compromised."

Ramona furrowed her brow, "What does that even mean, Noa?"

"I paired her up with my mother in a task that though completed, I knew they would still want to double check so they are in charge of making sure that everything is set accordingly at the venue," I paused with a smile. "They're just double checking something that's already been double checked and afterwards, they'll be here with the car to drive us all over."

The girls laughed heartily. "Why didn't _I_ think of that for my wedding," Ramona mused.

I shook my head and ran my hands down Theo's back, smiling down at the girl in my arms. In a few short hours, we would all be a family. A _true_ family, bound by the same name and _nothing_ could ruin the happiness that coursed through my veins.

Alex, Casey, and Emily were the first ones to disappear downstairs to shower and begin the 'getting ready' process. Even though Trevor and I had decided on not having a wedding party, we had each asked three people to wear wedding colors for picture purposes. My chosen three had been Alex, Casey, and Sara; and Trevor's chosen three had been Tommy, Robert, and Oscar. Emily looked beautiful in the flower girl ivory dress that I'd chosen for her and her mothers had done a beautiful job in combing and braiding her hair for her to be able to wear the designed flower crown.

Sara, Alex, and Casey looked stunningly beautiful in the chosen yellow Bardot midi dress with fold-over off the shoulder sleeve, fitted bodice with sweetheart neckline, and pleated skirt. It was a summer wedding in June and I was not going to torture them with long dresses. Plus, they all had beautiful legs; why not show them off?

After watching everybody return partially dressed, I retired to the master suite to begin my preparations for the wedding. I showered, shaved, exfoliated, and chose my underwear. My hair was to be down in loose curls and parted down the middle. No one knew what my dress looked like, only I knew.

I had done so on purpose. Sometimes friends and family could lead you astray from what it was you truly liked and wanted, and if this was to be the happiest day of my life, then I had to make sure I was getting everything I wanted, and this dress was _exactly_ what I wanted.

I had done my makeup lightly and had stepped inside my A-lined, V-neck, cap sleeve, open back, tulle gown with lace accents on the bodice. It was white in color and it ended just at my ankles. It was the perfect length and material for a warm day out and as I stared at my reflection, I could see that young girl that always dreamed of this day, but could never see it happening after some of the tormenting her mother had put her through.

I smiled and reached to my back in order to zip the short zipper that would give shape to my bodice and I sighed. My father would've been happy for me today. He was the only thing that was missing on this day. The love and support of the man that over and over again told me to hold my head up high because the man that he wanted for me wouldn't be lying on the ground. He'd be right in front of me with the most beautiful smile. _How right were you, Papi._

I walked back to the room and could hear the loud chatter and commotion from downstairs. I could pick out the voices as if I were down there looking at them right now. There was Gigi, talking to Emily and complimenting how beautiful her strawberry hair looked with the ivory of her dress.

Then there was Casey, babbling and mumbling in conversation with Theodora.

There was Alex and Ramona, Sara and my mother, and Tilly—who'd been in charge of picking up the bouquets of carnations, tulips, and freesias as well as the basket of white and coral mixed rose petals for Emily.

I sighed and smiled as I finished putting on my white Mary Jane ankle strap ballet flats. I stood and walked towards the archway of the room, taking the steps when I heard the gasps of the ladies downstairs.

"Noa!" Sara exclaimed, quickly taking the stairs to wrap me in her arms. "Oh my God, you look beautiful," she breathed near my ear.

We held each other at arm's length. "Thank you," I responded with a smile, rubbing her arms.

We finished descending the stairs and one by one they took their turns in giving me their love. As my mother reached me, I turned around and swept my hair over my shoulder so that she could button the single button at the base of my neck to give shape to the drop open back. I felt her soft fingers against my skin, skillfully bringing to a close the button. As I turned to face her, her hands reached my jaw, slowly running her thumbs against my face. Her eyes watered and she smiled, raising her body to reach my cheek where she placed a longing kiss. One turned into two that turned into three that turned into six, or maybe eight, until I lost track of how many kisses she placed on my face.

"Mami, Mami," I chanted between giggles.

"Te ves hermosa," she said in a breathy sigh. "Your father would've been so proud and so happy to walk you down the aisle, Noa," she danced her eyes across my face. "I—I'm sorry if I ever made you feel unworthy, preciosa. I really am sorry, Noa. I missed out on so much and I don't want to miss out anymore."

My mother's cheeks were now moist with tears. She had apologized for the things she'd done and said and though we still had a long way of healing and mending, it was never too late to try and salvage that relationship with her. I nodded and smiled. "Of course, Mami," I assented, leaning my forehead against hers.

We were quick to leave after that, but not before making sure everything was in place.

Alex placed the bracelet on my right hand and kissed my cheek, guiding me downstairs to make our way towards the Queens Botanical Garden in Flushing. We easily scooted into the back of the limousine and rode rambunctiously towards the wedding venue. The girls were passing champagne flutes down the car and when they reached me, I politely declined. They all gave me a questioning look and I shook my head, using nerves and an upset stomach as a reason to avoid the bubbly drink.

No one knew, no one noticed, but I did. I noticed the way the dress seemed particularly snug around my abdomen. I noticed the way my stomach would churn and bubble at the mention of certain foods. I noticed the way my breasts would feel if Theo didn't want to feed during the day. I noticed the way everything and anything smelled, and I was thankful that this morning's choice of brunch was one that didn't involve any rendition of eggs.

Yes, I was carrying my second Langan child and I smiled, looking down at my lap where my first Langan born was. She looked incredibly adorable in her tea length, soft yellow satin dress with matching flower crown and ballet flats. She had brought her sock doll, the same one she had been carrying since her first birthday that had been gifted by Claudette. I was excited to see her again, her and her family as well as the select few we had chosen to bear witness of our wedding ceremony. I bounced my knee, causing Theo to giggle up at me. And, as I slowly joined the conversation and basked in the happiness exuded throughout the limousine cabin, I knew that this had been the greatest decision I'd made in my life.

I was close to marrying the man of my dreams, I had my family and friends by my side, I had my daughter and now, I had a little Trevor or little Noa dancing in my womb. I held Theo close and kissed the top of her head, leaning my nose to inhale the distinct scent that was she. Theo's sandy colored curls were longer now and they framed her face beautifully. She was giggling and playing with Casey who was sat next to me and I couldn't help but bask in my secret.

What would they do if they found out I was pregnant?

Ramona had just welcomed the newest babies at the beginning of last year, adding more babies to the Langan household would've been too much for Gigi's fragile heart. I let a giggle escape my throat and the ladies all looked at me.

"What?" I defended.

"We could ask you the same, what?" answered my mother.

I shook my head, "Nothing, just happy."

As I finished my sentence, Emily shouted, "We're here! We're here!"

My stomach dropped at the admission.

This was it, the moment of truth. I could feel the nervousness course through my body and I didn't have the comfort of Trevor's arms or Billings' fur, not even the comforting scent of my daughter as Tilly beckoned her to her arms. I had to stay in the car with Sara, Alex and Casey until Masha—the wedding planner—sought after us.

I breathed heavily, feeling the erratic thump of my heartbeat against its cavity, overpowering any other sound on sight. I could feel it against the x cross of the ankle strap of my shoes, I could feel it in my chest, in my temples, and in my ears how fast and loud it was beating. A warm hand delivered a squeeze to my wrist: Casey and that soothing green gaze slowly willed me back to reality. She mouthed ' _it's_ _ok_ ' to me and mimicked a deep breath in.

As we sat in the quietness of the limousine, the door opened, startling me. "Are you guys ready?" Masha asked, peaking her head inside.

Alex and Casey both looked at me and smiled. "Are you ready, Noa?" Casey asked.

I smiled and relaxed, "I'm ready. Let's do this."

We slowly climbed out and walked the stretch to our designated spot. From afar I could hear the slow melody of the groom's party walking down the aisle. Masha kept mumbling to her team through her earpiece until she stopped us. I could see the wedding arch, beautifully decorated in the wedding's thematic flowers: tulips, carnations, and freesias in our choice of wedding colors without overpowering or appearing juvenile. Everything, so far, looked beautiful and I could feel myself smile.

"All right, it's time for you ladies," Masha offered. Alex went first, followed by Casey, and lastly Sara. I saw as Masha squatted in front of Emily and whispered something to the girl that caused her to giggle. Emily walked, throwing the petals as rehearsed and I heard the tune change. "Breathe, Noa," Masha offered. "You are the most stunning bride."

I chuckled loudly, "Sure Masha, and you don't say that to every bride?"

She smirked. "I don't. Most of the times, I don't even like my brides," she conceded with a smile. "I'm being honest here. You look beautiful and Trevor, well, let's just say he's close to killing someone if you don't walk down that aisle right about... now."

I sighed and smiled. "Thank you," I offered, gathering my bouquet, and releasing my shoes to the woman. Trevor knew how important it was for me to marry barefoot and as I approached the beginning of the walkway, a light breeze tickled my skin. I closed my eyes and smiled. "I love you too, Papi," I whispered.

My feet moved willingly and when I opened my eyes, all I could focus on was the beautiful man in ivory at the end of the walkway.

He was smiling brightly, breathing easy as I marched down the walkway towards him. My heart had finally ceased its erratic beating and I could finally allow myself to take in my surroundings. Everything looked beautiful, just as I envisioned and as I excused my stare to the scattered chairs, I could find the familiar faces. Zachary, Wallace, and Wyatt looked ridiculously cute in their paperboy ivory outfits with matching paperboy hats and the adults were dressed accordingly to occasion. But, my eyes tired of watching everybody else, I wanted to look at Trevor and easily, I found him again.

He swayed with the light breeze and gleamed with the afternoon sun. His blue eyes from my vantage point had lost their color and now seemed blended with his sclera, but then I noticed, it was the presence of his tears that made it seem so. I glanced at my feet, feeling my soles being tickled by the softness of the blanket laid on the grass and covered with petals. I smiled, biting my lip and looking up at my love once more. Only a few more steps before I'd reach him.

"Hi Mami," I heard the soft voice of my daughter and I couldn't help but giggle.

"Hi Theo, baby," I responded with a smile, glancing at Tilly who safely held her in her arms.

Trevor glanced at his daughter and blew her a kiss just as I reached the steps to the small pavilion. I climbed it carefully and stood poised in front of the man that I loved so. He seemed taller as I stood barefoot in front of him and I could feel the gravitational pull between our bodies, that craving of wanting to be in each other's arms but we couldn't, not until the end of the ceremony.

He sighed. "You look beautiful," he spoke softly. " _Ridiculously_ beautiful."

I smiled, "Thank you, Trev. Ivory is your color, baby."

The Minister cleared his throat and smiled at us. "Welcome, and thank you all for joining us in this joyous occasion. Together, we are gathered here to witness a truly special ceremony: the union of Trevor and Noa before God," he paused, glancing at the both of us. "Trevor and Noa, today we celebrate the power of your love and the strength of your bond. Before we begin, take a moment to look around at the many friendly faces before you. Know that all are here to offer love, support, and encouragement as you embark on this incredible journey together."

We did as bidden and as I glanced around to the both sides of our families, I noticed the familiar faces that throughout the years I had come to love and cherish. There was Trevor's family, my family, and his friends that I had met during our first year of relationship, his childhood friends, my childhood friends, colleagues, and the friends I had made during my time in the program. It was beautiful to witness, the coming together of people just to sit and bear witness of our love one more time before God.

"As the Bible reminds us in Corinthians, ' _If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing._ ' May this ceremony provide you with the wonderful memories to look back on and treasure for the rest of your days," the Minister continued. "Who gives this Bride?"

My mother and Sara stood, linking their fingers together. "We do," they said in unison.

I smiled and blew them both a kiss, turning to face Trevor once again. He winked at me and I hid my face, slowly biting my lip, "If anyone has cause to object to the forming of this union, speak now or forever hold your peace."

Trevor and I turned in unison, glaring playfully at our family members, giving them reason to chuckle and giggle before the Minister continued with the sermon.

"Noa, Trevor," he addressed us, "as you stand here today before God, realize that you are preparing to celebrate one of life's greatest gifts, the depths of which you have only begun to explore. Your level of love and commitment is something that many seek, but not everyone finds. The bond you share is a rarity in this world, and its fruits more valuable than any precious stone or metal.

"Marriage, of course, is more than a formal exchange of rings. It is a sacred and solemn promise to one another that no matter what, you're in this together. Life is full of surprises—both positive and negative. By nature, it's impossible to know what is around the next bend. However, with a trusted partner by your side, you may take comfort in the unknown. Whatever storms may come, you will weather them together. That is the beauty of love: not only does it cradle us when we are feeling weak and tired, it creates a solid foundation on which we can always rely.

"Henceforth, your lives will become _permanently_ intertwined. The union you form today is built to withstand any and all challenges. Through sorrow and joy, through failure and success, through despair and triumph, your bond will persevere—buoyed by the everlasting love you share. With the vows exchanged today, you will both finalize this promise and begin life anew, together." He finished addressing us with a smile and preceded to the consecration, "As we gather here under the eyes of God, let us also recognize the seriousness of the occasion. Marriage is a profound, sincere commitment, and one worthy of our reverence.

"The Bible makes note of the power of partnership in Ecclesiastes. It reminds us that, ' _Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help him or her up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?_ ' I will now invite the Bride and Groom to exchange their vows."

This was it, the moment of truth. We had chosen to write our own vows and had agreed to work on memorizing them, making them most genuine; "Noa, Trevor—you have prepared vows of commitment to share with one another. Noa, would you like to go first?"

I breathed in and smiled at Trevor as I stared deep within his eyes. Those eyes that had gazed so deep within mine and had let me know time and time again that no matter what, I could always count on him for anything and everything.

I centered myself and commenced, "I was going to quote some famous author or tell a love story that epitomizes our fated tale. However, I couldn't because everything I found gave no justice to the way my skin shivers when you smile at me or how bad my face hurts from smiling at one of your supposed jokes," the family chuckled as well as Trevor.

"You are truly an amazing man, one of the most compassionate people I know; you are the kindest and most sincere. Your love is inspiring to me every day… It's unbelievable that I get the chance to promise myself to the person I consider my greatest friend and loving ally in all things. I love you and will cherish you for all time.

"I love you with a love that cannot be expressed in words—only in kisses, glances, and the years of our lives. From this day forward, I will look to each day with the joy of knowing that my tomorrow includes you. I take you to be my husband, my greatest love, and to stand side-by-side, hand in hand, and heart to heart."

I smiled and beamed at Trevor's smile as he reveled in my words. "Trevor, whenever you're ready," the Minister called.

Trevor took a deep breath in and bit his lip. "I choose you to be my wife, my partner in life. I promise you my unconditional love, my fullest devotion, my most tender care. Through the pressures of the present and the uncertainties of the future, I promise to love you, honor, respect, and cherish you all the days of our lives," he paused, dancing his eyes across my face. "You are everything I need and at this moment I feel that all of my prayers have been answered. I know that our love is heaven sent and I promise to be here forever and always.

"I vow to respect your unique talents and abilities, to lend you strength to reach your dreams. I promise to take care of you, to encourage, and inspire you; asking that you be no other than yourself. From this day forward you shall not walk alone. My heart will be your shelter and my arms will be your home," he finished romantically.

Leave it to him and his silver-tongue to woo me with his vows. If I had not love him before this, best believe I will love him forever after that.

The Minister smiled. "You will now hold hands," he began, waiting as I turned to hand my bouquet to Sara. "Trevor, do you take Noa as your wife and your companion? Do you promise to share her laughter during the good times and wipe her tears during the bad, from this day forward?"

Trevor smiled and beamed down at me, "I do."

"Noa, do you take Trevor as your husband and companion? Do you promise to share his laughter during the good times and wipe his tears during the bad, from this day forward?"

I smiled, "I do."

We had decided to do a tree planting ceremony, instead of the traditional candle lighting. Trees were forever and though it would be potted, we could watch it grow for the rest of our lives, "Now that you've spoken the words to seal your union, you will now plant your marital tree to celebrate the joining of your two souls. Just as a tree lays down its roots over time, so will the both of you grow ever stronger together."

At some point, Masha had moved to stand behind the Minister on the other side of the open pavilion. In her hands she had two jars with soil that she handed to the Minister. The sapling was already positioned prior to the ceremony in a pot. After handing the small jars to the Minister, she carefully moved the potted tree in between us.

The minister handed us the mason jars. "Each of you holds soil from the Earth. This soil represents your life, all of the ups and downs, laughter and heartache, hopes and dreams. Take a moment to reflect on all that you've been through up to this point. Think of your proudest moments and your deepest fears. Each molecule of soil represents a different experience that led you to this point in time," he paused briefly, offering us a small smile. "Now, give this soil to your tree together, bringing it life and health."

We let go of our hands to open our jars and in unison, we poured our soil into our tree, "As it matures, your relationship will become as sturdy and reliable as the trunk of this tree. Life may bring its storms, but they will pass, and beyond you will always find days of sunshine and joy. Just like your love, this tree will continue to thrive as it grows ever stronger."

Trevor and I took a moment to bask in what the Minister had said up until now.

We had already been through many a trial and tribulation before allowing ourselves to get here. Many a curve ball had been thrown to this relationship from the very beginning whether in the form of a Miranda or an Otter, a break, Milo, being apart for so long… or whatever other petty shit that had happened, our relationship had weathered. We had truly courted and had truly flourished and had come the other side victorious. I had no doubt that whatever life threw at us from now on forward, we could tackle it without a problem and come out unscathed on the other side.

It was time now for the exchange of the rings. I had recruited Tommy, someone who knew Trevor in other ways than I did and a _man_ who knew the ins and outs when it came to manhandling a ring that I knew for sure, Trevor was not taking off unless _absolutely_ necessary.

I loved the ring that I'd picked for him, and I hoped that he loved it just as much as I loved the engagement ring he had chosen for me to wear.

"The wedding ring is a symbol of the unending power of love between two beings. Its circular shape has no beginning and no end, representing a boundless spiritual connection. The rings should be worn proudly as a symbol of the commitment between you and your spouse. Even when you find yourselves apart, your rings will provide a powerful reminder of the eternal love you share. Please repeat after me," he gave me first the opportunity to speak.

Zachary had stepped forward and allowed me to pick Trevor's ring from the pillow. I took Trevor's hand and spoke. "With this ring, I, Noa, commit my love to you, Trevor, for all time, giving you all that I am and all that I will be. Please accept it as a symbol of my love," I finished, sliding the ring into Trevor's fourth finger.

Trevor bit his lip and beamed at the Avalon eternity diamond band with high polish finish, and sighed. It was his turn to repeat the words and he turned to Zachary and picked up my infinity micro-pave band. "With this ring, I, Trevor, commit my love to you, Noa, for all time, giving you all that I am and all that I will be. Please accept it as a symbol of my love," he finished, sliding the band behind my engagement ring.

I sighed at the feel of new weight on my finger and smiled at my hand. "Family and friends, by the power vested in me by the Universal Life Church and by the state of New York, I now formally pronounce Trevor and Noa to be husband and wife. Let us celebrate their union!" The family all erupted in cheer and laughter, clapping for us as we beamed at the other, "Trevor, you may now kiss your Bride."

"Finally," I whispered, taking a brief step forward, feeling Trevor's hands around my body.

Our lips touched in a peck first, feeling that familiar territory that had been robbed for a week. We dove into our kiss, as I continued to hear our family and friends cheer and be joyous for our unity. When we finally came apart, we sighed in unison, happily in love.

We kissed twice more and our hands found each other. "Trevor, Noa," the Minister looked at each of us, "may you enjoy a lifetime of sunrises and sunsets together. Ladies and Gentlemen, allow me to present, for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Trevor and Noa Langan!"

Trevor and I looked at each other. "Mrs. Langan," he said, raising his hand to begin our walk down the walkway.

As we walked down the walkway, Trevor stopped to grab our daughter from her aunt. He sat her on his arm and bounced her slightly, receiving loud squeals from her. As we finished the walkway, the photographer was there, snapping pictures to hopefully have a few beautiful candid shots. We stopped, allowing for the photographer to take pictures as we posed with Theodora. He stopped once he saw everybody approaching us with hugs and kisses and wishes for a bountiful and plentiful marriage.

It was time for the pictures around the garden with the 'wedding party' and with Theodora whilst the others left for cocktail hour and got ready for the wedding reception.

The wedding had started a little after two in the afternoon and it was now almost three, thankfully we weren't being rushed and everybody knew that the bride and groom got to the party when they got the party.

We took pictures around the garden, beautifully posed, and I know for sure there were some amazing candid shots in the film as well. I took pictures with Sara, Casey, and Alex and Trevor took pictures with Tommy, Robert, and Oscar. The photographer captured Emily, Zach, and Theo playing on a bridge over the pond with us in the distance. We posed with them, laughing at Zach's witty comment about flies.

Trevor and the girls took beautiful pictures as well as the boys and me. Eventually they left and we remained with Theo.

In a month, it would be our daughter's second birthday and we paid the photographer for pictures of her around the garden as well. All in all we spent a beautiful afternoon at the garden, searching for the most beautiful spots it had to offer. We were already having an amazing time, as a married couple and honestly, I couldn't wait for what other adventures were out there for us...

Mr. and Mrs. Trevor and Noa Langan.

* * *

 **A/N:** Almost done! Only two more chapters left after this one and then we're done! I will post a Prologue as soon as I publish the 'last' chapter.


	48. Mr and Mrs Langan

_**Mr. & Mrs. Langan**_

After our fun at the garden, Trevor and I decided to take just an hour to go by our new home in Jersey City. We weren't moving anything other than some essentials and most of the stuff in his apartment would be up for donation. Somewhere along the line, I'd learned that Sara had managed to save some things from my apartment whilst I was gone, and boy had I been grateful for it all. Every weekend, Trevor, Theo, and I would sneak out of the city to plan the wedding as well as organize furniture and other things in our brand new home. Neither Trevor nor I wanted to officially spend the night in this beautiful condo, until we were—officially—Mr. and Mrs. Langan.

I smiled contently as I felt the driver pull up at our curb.

We had found a home in Jersey City, in the gated community of Port Liberté. We had a private boat dock that was damn near our backyard that offered easy access to the New York Harbor. It was a home where our family could grow and expand and enjoy the beauty of either city at our fingertips. Trevor had found the home, after Tommy had been looking to move to the community as well, and now, they were our neighbors somewhere across the canals that weft through the neighborhood. It was a beautiful community and I was in love with Trevor's decision for our family. I smiled harder when the door opened, signaling our arrival to our home, especially now that I had our newest addition cooking within me.

Trevor had Theo in his arms, a sleeping Theo in his arms, and as I opened the door I breathed in the scent of fresh lavender and linen. "This is home," I said softly, feeling Trevor's lips in my hair.

"For you," he said. "For my girls," I smirked and stared up at him. "I'm going to go lay her down, I'll meet you upstairs?"

I nodded and watched as Trevor's form disappeared up the steps as I took the open floor plan that was our living room. We had invested in a plush living room set, a beautiful l-shaped couch that was positioned to stare onto the floor-to-ceiling glass windows that led to our backyard deck. I stepped forward and went down two steps, running my hands over the soft fabric of the couch and releasing a breath of air. I would have time to finally explore my home in the coming days.

I turned to climb the stairs that opened into a loft style game room, only equipped for now with Billings and Theodora's toys as well as a reclining sofa. The room had a wall-to-wall windowsill reading nook with a few succulent plants and greenery and I stood there, looking out to the Hudson and the Statue of Liberty. This room had been the selling point of this house, and the longing look in my eyes as the realtor explained the dimensions, the craftsmanship of the cherry wood floors, vaulted ceilings, and HOA was what sold Trevor into making an offer.

I felt his hands circle my waist and I leaned against him, resting my head against his shoulder, sighing and smiling contently. He placed a kiss to my jaw as he spoke against it. "Te amo," he said, placing his lips against my skin.

I inhaled sharply and closed my eyes, feeling the sway that Trevor had bestowed upon us. I knew he understood and spoke a little bit of Spanish, but he seldom spoke it to _me_. He would answer me when I addressed him, and would ask questions when I utilized words he hadn't heard before, but he never spoke it to me.

I opened my eyes and turned in his arms, placing my hands on his biceps, "Te amo más, corazón."

He smiled and brought his lips to mine, our kissing quickly reaching that overdrive that we craved when we broke apart, resting our foreheads together, attempting to savor the moment just for a while longer, "God, I missed you."

I tittered softly, "I didn't kick you out. You left... _willingly_."

"If I wouldn't had left, I don't think we would've gotten married today. All I've been thinking about is you and Theo. Why do you think I kept sending Alex or Casey over for me to video chat with her?"

I shook my head, pushing it back, "You could've picked her up, you know? Or, you could've kept her at Gigi's, she was staying there anyways."

"I worked from home this past week," he admitted with a smile.

I parted my mouth in a grin, slapping at his shoulder, "You bastard!"

He chuckled and pulled me close, kissing my forehead and inhaling my scent, "Only loving words today, Noa."

I giggled against his chest. "You loving bastard," I quipped, feeling his chest rumble with his chuckle.

We stood there for a little while longer before we moved to the couch, Trevor quickly taking me in his arms. We sat close to each other, my legs draped across his lap as we kissed and whispered our loving love to each other. The reception would be starting soon enough and my stomach rumbled in hunger. We both laughed at my sudden appetite, but we could wait just a little while longer. Theo's nap would be coming to an end soon.

We were in the middle of a passionate lip lock, Trevor's hand lost inside the tulle skirt of my wedding dress, and my hands were at either side of his neck, pulling him close when a sudden dip of the cushion startled me. I pulled apart and Trevor's lips quickly found my neck, assaulting the skin there when I noticed Theo had climbed the sofa and was now maneuvering to sit on my lap.

"Baby," I husked, pushing my cheek against his and he bit my skin. I gasped and smiled, loving the teasing taunt. "Baby," I tried again, feeling his hand close around the flesh of my thigh. "We'll have time for all of that tonight, Trevor Langan. I have someone here that wants to say hello."

I felt him tense and I giggled, running my hands down his neck to circle Theo's waking body. He placed one more kiss to my neck and straightened his body, keeping his hand where it was. Theo smiled her toothy grin and snuggled against my chest. "I know the feeling, TJ. I like snuggling there too," he quipped.

I tapped his chest forcefully with a scoff. "You're incorrigible," I admonished playfully, rubbing my hand down Theo's back. "You hungry, Theo?" she nodded against my chest and I slid my legs off of Trevor's lap. "We should get going, baby. If she's anything like her _father_ , this can turn ugly. Quickly."

Trevor laughed, "I think there's food downstairs. Want me to check?"

I nodded, "I'll check and change her pull-up and I'll meet you downstairs."

We parted ways and much to my surprise, Theo's pull-up was completely dry.

I commended the girl with excited cheers. We had commenced the potty training journey a couple of months back and though at the beginning it had been difficult, but she was getting the hang of it. I still changed her pull-up and told her to tell Papa or me if she had to go potty and she nodded. We made our way downstairs where Trevor had made turkey and cheese sandwiches with sliced bread for us to hold out until we got to the reception. We took them to go and ate them in the limo on our ride back to our venue. Theo seemed cheery and when we pulled up, Masha had greeted us in the lobby.

She quickly directed us to the outside of our selected room and we waited behind a pillar for our introduction.

My mother had been in charge of the Welcome Speech and I had giggled and was now teary eyed at her closing paragraph. " _I just want to let them know that I love them both. I will leave them with this Irish prayer—since I know they're listening—may love and laughter light your days, and warm you heart and home. May good and faithful friends be yours, wherever you may roam. May peace and plenty bless your world with joy that long endures. May all life's passing seasons bring the best to you and yours,_ " she sniffled. " _I now present to you Trevor and Noa Langan._ "

The room erupted in cheer and applause as Trevor and I held hands. We had swapped Theo and he was now holding her. Upon hearing the claps, she began clapping as well and my face lit up once we entered the room. We walked straight to the front of our table between guest tables where the dance floor and my mother were. She kissed Trevor's cheek and took Theodora in her arms as she walked to kiss my cheek. I whispered my love for her as she past me by. Masha cued our DJ to play our entrance song, 'For Once In My Life' the rendition by Michael Bublé.

Trevor spun me and pulled me close to him as I giggled. We rested our foreheads together and began moving with the melody of the song. We laughed with each other as Trevor made faces whilst mouthing the words. After a moment, we both got silly with it and our friends and family seemed to enjoy it. The song was short so as quickly as it started, it ended. He kissed my lips twice as we both confessed our love simultaneously, giggling with each other.

Masha took over briefly and introduced the dinner portion. We ate rambunctiously and I steered clear of any alcohol at the long table at the head of the room. Trevor questioned me about it and I told him that sober me planned on making him pay for the teasing that had happened on the upstairs couch whilst tipsy or drunk me would just let him do whatever he wanted to me. He cleared his throat when I whispered my filthy thoughts into his ear and he beckoned the waiter to our table, handing him his wine glass and asking for soda instead.

"It's on," he simply stated with a playful smirk that made me giggle.

Once we had feasted, it was time for the speeches. I had appointed Sara to give a speech and though at first reluctant to speak—given our tumultuous relationship—I had reassured her that what kind of sisters would we be if that weren't the case?

She stood and circled the table. As she passed the first table to my right where Trevor's family were sat at with my mother and daughter, I could hear Theo mumble a contented 'hi titi' and I couldn't help but beam. We had decided to only sit at our table the 'wedding party', keeping everything rather organized. Plus, it was only for dinner and speeches, afterwards, they were free to sit and be wherever they wanted to be.

Sara took the mic from Masha's hand and cleared her throat. "Hello everyone," she began happily, "for those of you who _still_ don't know who I am, I happen to be the bride's favorite sister."

I rolled my eyes and laughed. "You're the only one that I have, Sara," I commented quickly, causing everyone to laugh and Sara to playfully glare at me.

"Yea, steal my thunder why don't you," she mentioned, winking towards me. "My big sister is the bride today," she said, raising her arm by her side. "Sis, I just want you to know how proud I am to stand with you as you wed. You were my childhood playmate and adversary and confidant and friend… all of my best memories have you in them. You have chosen a husband, and brother for me, whom I admire and respect. I am grateful for your good judgment in this matter, otherwise…" she trailed off, insinuating with her eyes as everyone around us laughed.

"To the groom, Trevor, thank you for making all the usual threats unnecessary. I appreciate how you care for my sister and niece, two of the most important people in my life. I hope and pray we will always be friends and family for a lifetime… and beyond. May God bless you with a holy marriage, healthy lives, and prosperity in abundance. May your love be the stuff about which they make stories of. All my love to the both of you, to the bride and groom," she finished with teary eyes and I stood, circling the table to hug and kiss my sister.

Whilst in the display of our appreciation for each other, Tommy approached us, taking the mic from Sara, "Damn, why do I have to follow that?" We laughed as he begun, "Well, as most of all of you know I am Thomas, Trevor's older brother. So it goes without saying that I have known this ugly sack of bones his entire life."

"Screw you, Tommy," Trevor bit back playfully, shaking his head as I sat next to him.

"I love you too, Forgy!" he said, placing a dramatic hand over his chest, making us all laugh once again. "He's literally the only person that can _blather_ himself out of any situation. I remember when Tilly and I came up with the nickname Forgy for Trevor. He was in the third grade—was it the third grade?" he asked, glancing at Tilly first and then at Trevor.

"When Mrs. Wahl caught Tilly and I cheating on an exam. We were so scared that our mother was going to find out and just punish us and then our dad would punish us on top of our mother's punishment. You know twins, double the punishment," more laughter. "Trevor saw how distraught we were and he waited all afternoon near the phone and when it rung he picked it up. Thank _God_ our parents were somewhere else because he _forged_ our mother's voice right down to the breathy sighs and high pitched shrieks when she yelled for us. It was then that we graced him with the nickname, and he's been our little Forgy since."

I looked up at Trevor and saw him rolling his eyes whilst Thomas made a comment on how they were all grounded for a year once they told their parents when they were in high school.

"When he met Noa," he glanced at the ground smiling, "he would always have a story about how insufferable she was or how he needed to go to his doctor for him to up the dosage on his migraine medication, and look at him now. I can tell Trevor and Noa are very much in love and will have many, many happy years together. I would like to tell them both that it was a special honor for me to be asked to be a part of this incredible day for them both. I along with the rest of the wedding party would like to propose a toast to the happy couple and wish them years upon years of blissful happiness and our best wishes," the waiters had gone throughout the room handing champagne flutes to all and as Tommy received his, he raised it. "To the Bride and Groom. Cheers!"

Everybody responded and Trevor kissed my lips as he stood, going to hug his brother. After the toasts had been pushed out of the way, it was time for the partying and dancing to begin.

Trevor approached his mother and grabbed her, pulling her out to the dance floor as I sought Senior and pulled him out as well. We danced with them for a while and afterwards, Trevor left his mother dancing with her husband and me as he searched for my mother and sister. We were all roaring with laughter when the rest of the family joined. I had uncles and cousins as well as my grandmother who had flown in from the island to be here on this special day.

Once the family had danced on the floor we made it out to the guest tables, pulling random people to dance with us. I had invited the entirety of my college softball team, and I knew that with those ladies, I would never stop laughing. Even though I had always been attracted to the opposite sex, my flirty nature never stopped me from innocently flirting with my teammates.

We all respected each other and we all knew each other's limits. We never crossed them and we never disrespected one another. We were family first and foremost.

After having danced for what seemed like hours upon hours, Masha gathered us for the cake cutting where Trevor would do his speech. I was handed the knife to cut the cake with, and playfully and carefully, I threatened Trevor with it, "Jesus, woman. We _just_ got married, I haven't done anything yet."

Our guests laughed and so did I. "Just making sure you remember my dexterity with this. I have all these witnesses to show that you've been forewarned," I said as I leaned into him to kiss his lips.

"She threatened me all, you heard it here first," he smiled as he spoke to our guests.

We waited a few more seconds when Tilly handed Trevor a squirmy Theodora. We were approaching her bedtime, and I knew she was tired, "I want to thank everybody here tonight for making it out to celebrate Noa's and I unity. I know some of my friends have flown in from Chicago, some of Noa's friends and teammates have driven from nearby states, and some family members have flown in as well from other parts of the country. Believe me when I say that we will _never_ , _ever_ forget what you've done for us tonight. We truly thank you from the bottom of our hearts."

I leaned in to whisper in his ear to thank my grandmother and aunts for flying in from the island, "Oh, we want to give special thanks to Abuela Julia and Titi Carmen, Tio Miguel, and Titi Josefina and family for flying in from the island to be here for Noa. You guys are amazing!"

"You take care of my granddaughter, Trevor," my maternal grandmother admonished with her thick Bronx accent.

The family laughed as Trevor continued to thank his parents, and then went into a little speech about the love he had for me and thanked me for giving him a daughter that resembled so much the love of his life. I couldn't help but roll my eyes and smile, making a quip on how this was just for show because he was planning on doing something to make me angry later on.

I cut the cake and fed him a piece, taking a bite myself. I offered some frosting and cake to Theodora, who seemed most excited to be consuming sweets at this time of the night. I continued cutting the cake as Trevor left to mingle and introduce his daughter to some of his friends. Once I knew everyone had their plate of cake I placed the knife down, hearing a familiar tune blare through the room.

I glanced around the room, noticing my softball teammates eyeing me impishly.

It was the reggae song that I always danced with one my teammates when I didn't want to dance with guys at the clubs or wherever we were. It was our go-to song and apparently they had all convinced her to do it, and I knew why. This was a show for Trevor, and deep down I knew he had a little to do with it. Thankfully the dance floor had remained packed so I could be shielded by the bodies of dancing people from the scrutiny of our family members. I caught his eye as he bounced Theodora in his arms and he winked at me, and I had all the confirmation I needed then that he had definitely been in cahoots with Maggie.

I giggled and approached my teammate, slowly dancing on her as we used to do. It was playful, but still seductive enough that I knew it might cause an effect on Trevor. As I whipped my hair around my shoulders and arched my body into my friend, we giggled, when we felt the rest of our teammates join us in good fun.

I felt the photographer's hand on my elbow, it was time for the Reception Sneak-out and I nodded enthusiastically. Sneaking out of our designated room without anybody taking notice had been a thrill, truly. By the elevators stood the tall handsome figure of my husband. He was leaning casually against the wall with a hand in his pocket. I giggled coquettishly and he looked up, smirking.

"Sneaked out?" I quipped, leaning against his chest.

He nodded, circling his arm around my waist. The elevator made it in time and we rode to the rooftop with our photographer. This particular hotel had beautiful views and that's what we wanted to capture on this warm inviting night. We snapped a couple of beautiful—I hoped—pictures and the photographer returned to the party, leaving Trevor and I to fend for ourselves at the rooftop.

"You made quite the impression on my buddies," he said huskily, placing a hand by my face as I leaned on the wall by the elevators.

I snickered. "What do you mean?" I said, pulling him by his waist closer to me.

"Grinding on your teammate?" he raised his brows. "You've made me quite popular."

His face was hovering over mine as he lowly spoke against my chin. "Look at that, I'm already fulfilling wifely duties," I ran my hands down his chest. "Jesus, I want you badly."

He scoffed, shaking his head. "I would take you right here and now, but all that tulle," he sucked in a breath through his teeth, smirking. "I want you completely naked."

I bit my lip and raised my chin, "Tonight, at home. Alex volunteered to keep Theo."

He growled, claiming my lips in haste, and when he pulled back, he drug my lip between his teeth, eliciting the most primal moan from me yet. "Good, 'cause I plan on christening at least," he raised his eyes to his brows in feigned thought, "thirty percent of our home _tonight_."

I giggled and kissed him once more, guiding us back to the party. Upon arrival, Sara sighed once she saw me, saying that Theo was fussy and crying. The girl was brought to me and I excused myself with Trevor to a private room that Masha had located for me to be able to breastfeed. She fell asleep shortly after and I knew it was time for our Grand Exit.

We'd had our fun and this day was one to definitely remember. I couldn't stop smiling as we made our way back to the venue room. It was a quarter to eleven and I carefully swapped Theo with Casey. The girl stirred slightly and we all agreed to meet the next morning for brunch. We weren't set to leave for our honeymoon until a week before Trevor's birthday and I would tell him about the little Langan in my womb then.

Our wedding party was the one to announce our farewell and as we left and settled in our limo, I knew that my heart would forever be content with Trevor.


	49. Honeymooning

**WARNING** : Sexual language and acts at play.

* * *

 _ **Honeymooning**_

We decided to wait to go on our honeymoon until after Theo's second birthday.

We had the most incredible time both planning and celebrating the young girl's birthday in her grandparent's beach home in Montauk. Trevor had most definitely gone all out and did not spare cost on anything.

We had fought.

We had fought long and hard.

Our first fight as a married couple and it was over how much money he was spending on Theodora's birthday party. In the end, I'd relented. After night two of Trevor walking upstairs in our new home in Jersey City, and finding both Billings and Theo in the bed, on night three he'd beat me to our room and finally had let me know why he was doing what he was doing.

He still felt guilty about missing Theo's first birthday, so he had ordered the most expensive cake, bought the most expensive cuts of meat, volunteered to pay for Claudette and her family's stay at a nearby home, and had bought the girl nearly half of the toy store.

Seeing my husband with his daughter and the way his blue eyes shone every time she said 'Papa', filled my heart with joy.

" _He was the same way with Emily and Zach, and no doubt will do the same for Wallace and Wyatt when their time comes. It's tradition at this point._ " Alex had whispered in my ear as her arms had come to circle to my front and rest easy on my stomach. " _I also know that it won't be any different when this baby comes,_ " she giggled as she said this.

I damn neared died at the mention of the child cooking in my stomach. I had brought Alex inside and begged for her to not say anything. Not to her wife, not to Trevor, not even to Ramona or my sister. I wanted to be able to tell Trevor first and I would do so on our honeymoon, preferably on the last day of our fourteen days exploring the Greek islands. I was beyond excited to have Trevor for myself.

We had planned this trip so that it could line up perfectly for us to be able to celebrate Trevor's birthday in Greece _and_ we'd return to celebrate the 'end of summer' in Montauk as tradition went.

On our first day, we arrived in Athens. The day was ours to settle in to the hotel and start getting to know the city. Later, we would join our tour guide and our group and we would start firing up the fun over dinner. I was more than thankful that this pregnancy was much easier on my body in terms of nausea and vomiting. I didn't even know I was pregnant until I wore my wedding dress the afternoon of my wedding. A week later, I had gone to the doctor—unbeknownst to my husband—and the doctor had confirmed it, I was six weeks pregnant by then—with an inverted cervix, and by the time I would tell Trevor on the night of his birthday, I'd be fourteen weeks pregnant and would have in my hands a twelve week ultrasound that had happened before the trip.

Day two in Athens rolled in on us quickly. The city was a time capsule of life on earth.

Trevor and I had the chance to do an **Athens Past & Present Tour** including the iconic Acropolis and Olympic Stadium, and we enjoyed a traditional Athens affair in the evening via the famous Plaka area of the City. We returned to our hotel room quickly, since the magic of the city—and my hormones—were getting the best of us. On day three, we were packed and ready to leave Athens and continue our journey to Mykonos via boat ride across the Aegean that had us awe struck in love, and even though I was never one to get motion sickness, this baby was not having the breaking of the waves.

"You're never sea sick," Trevor said worriedly.

I sighed and heaved. "It must be something I ate then," I replied, attempting to hide my amusement.

After romping around Mykonos—and in our hotel room—here we were on yet another day where it felt completely fabulous to be alive. We didn't have much planned other than to spend the day soaking up sunshine and playing in the sea.

Day five in Mykonos was amazingly beautiful!

Windmills; cafes overflowing with olives, feta, and tzatziki; storybook streets—and that were before we had the chance to explore another beach and take a dip. The next morning, I had made sure to take something for the motion sickness since we were taking the seas again, this time in search of the island of Santorini. It was finally our turn to be the ones lulling about the whitewashed blue dome buildings looking like sultry summer babes. And, when the time came, Trevor and I stood in the balcony of our villa, overlooking the famous Oia sunset.

"I love you, Mrs. Langan," he said simply, smiling against my cheek.

I scoffed and shook my head, moving my head to place my lips on his jaw, "I love you too, Mr. Langan."

We woke with a start; naked bodies pressed together, limbs tangled easily with the other. My skin had reached that beautiful bronzed glow that I loved and Trevor adored. Our bodies smelled of ocean breeze and Trevor's chocolate hair had suddenly sprouted blondish hues due to the sun we'd been exposed to for the past week. Today would be no different; we took a swim at Perissa Beach, ate the local specialty of fried tomato balls known as domatokeftedes, and roamed the streets of Fira.

On day eight, and our last one in Santorini, whatever we didn't do the day before was still up for grabs today. Trevor felt like we had crammed enough in our day yesterday so we headed to red sand beach to spend another glorious day ocean-side. Between us though, this was just another excuse for Trevor to see me in one of the multiple bathing suits I had brought for our trip.

On day nine I took another motion sickness pill. We had one last Greek island to hop to. A bit more rugged and remote than Santorini and Mykonos, Ios proved to be a nice change of scenery.

It hadn't worked.

The pill hadn't worked and I was beyond livid and sad that Trevor had to spend day nine caring for his sick as fuck wife.

I wasn't able to keep anything down, and I feared I might've done something to hurt baby. I was scared and nervous and that brought forth more nausea and vomiting, so much so that I feared Trevor would call it all done and we wouldn't be able to explore our last island, but someone was watching over me—us—and that night, I'd been able to keep down the Avgolemono soup Trevor had ordered for me.

Day ten on Ios we spent in the sun and frolicking in the sand without a care in the world. Trevor had gotten his adrenaline fix with some watersports whilst I had gone exploring the pretty town and downed a hearty meal at a local café. I had an extra pep in my step that night, and we had gone with another two couples on our tour to hang out in the party scene of Hora until the break of dawn.

Day eleven was one of the most romantic nights we had spent on our journey, not because it was Trevor's birthday, but because I had planned it to be so.

We started with a full hearty breakfast in the balcony of our villa. We stole kisses, we laughed, and we had a chance to connect with the rest of the world even if briefly to say hi to our teary eyed daughter that was more than clearly missing us. Afterwards, I downed a motion sickness pill with the rest of my pregnancy supplements and moments later we were getting salty on a boat trip.

We were all sun-kissed and feeling floaty by the time the night rolled in and not wanting to dress and eat out, I had planned a romantic dinner night at our villa underneath the beautiful lights and starry night of Ios, Greece. I had to make the most of tonight since tomorrow morning we were ready to sail once more towards Athens to spend our last day and the next day after that one we would be on our way back to New York.

I sported a white short skater dress with a fitted bodice with princess seams, a deep v-neckline, and double straps at the back. The contrast between my shimmering, sun-kissed skin and the fabric of the dress had Trevor looking at me as if I were part of the banquet prepared for us.

I giggled coquettishly as I eyed his light peach linen, short sleeve button down, his first three to four buttons undone revealing an ample chest with sun-tanned wisps of blonde hair and navy Oakley heathered shorts. Our feet were bare against the white-painted cement and my hair was down to allow for it to air dry. I yawned as my hunger came through.

Trevor scoffed and chuckled, "Am I boring you, Noa Langan?"

I snickered as I reached for more food, "You _really_ enjoy having your last name attached to my first, don't you?"

He smirked, slowly biting his lip, "You have no idea how badly I've been wanting to say that."

"Tell me," he looked up from his plate, shocked. I nodded and smiled, tucking my wind-blown hair behind my ear, "Tell me, since when have you been wanting to make a decent woman out of me?"

He chortled and shook his head. "What the hell are you talking about? You've always been _more_ than a decent woman, but to answer your question, since you left me when you knew I still had feelings for Miranda. Remember?" I nodded with a smile. "I knew I loved you, but that's when I realized that I was _in love_ with you. That month apart was… ho-rri-ble. I wasn't eating well, wasn't sleeping well, I couldn't function well… I needed you. I wanted you. And then, that day I arrived to the triplex and you were submerged in my tub, belly protruding filled with my child, breasts exposed only slightly covered by your hair, and that beautiful smile that you only seem to reserve just for me further affirmed that I was making the right decision in proposing."

I smiled, swallowing the bite of food I had taken. "It's why you wanted to take me away to Montauk," he nodded, hiding his sudden florid face. "I'm sorry, papi," I mentioned, reaching across the small table for his hand.

"Why are you apologizing? No—Noa, it's been two years. Milo will forever be behind bars in a federal prison with no rights to anything… don't let him steal our last night here. Don't."

I nodded slowly. "You're old now," I smirked devilishly, causing him to laugh. "You sure you can keep up with me _and_ a two year old, _old man_?"

"I would say 'screw you', but I already have. Multiple times. Against every surface possible. In international waters too, so I need to think of a better comeback for that."

I laughed and stood, wiping at my mouth as I sauntered towards my husband.

Trevor leaned back on his chair once he noticed the sudden impish look in my eyes. I smirked and bit my lip as I sat across Trevor's lap, shaking my—once more—medium-length bob over my shoulders. I dove into Trevor's mouth, shifting on his lap and having the skirt of my short dress drape over his thighs causing my overheated cunt to meet with the fabric on his thighs.

I moaned into his mouth, the taste of Moussaka and Pastitsio blending together in our tongues. My hands were at Trevor's neck as I deepened the kiss and felt his tongue on mine. His hand trailed a path from my knee to my thigh and then it disappeared underneath the skirt of my dress. I smirked into the kiss, but quickly recovered, not wanting to give away the tremendous surprise that my husband would take once he realized that I wasn't wearing any underwear.

He groaned once he felt the warmth of my wet cunt as he sucked my bottom lip into his mouth. "You never learn, do you?" he spoke lowly against my lips. I smirked and shook my head. "Good, because this is one lesson I'll never tire of giving," he growled hungrily as he dove back into my lips. His manly fingers parting my slit and sliding effortlessly down my liquid heat.

I sighed into the kiss, feeling the flutter in my stomach as he exacerbated my arousal. I opened my leg for him and to allow for better leverage. And, as he pushed his fingers inside me, I broke the kiss, panting like a hungry animal and moaning to the sky. Once that initial contact had been made, his fingers moved in and out of my body. I attached my teeth to his neck, sucking on his flesh to create a mark.

"Fuck, Noa," he seethed, moving the arm around my back to my hair, delivering a hearty tug until I followed his hand. "Naughty girls don't get to bite," he said behind a smirk.

"T—Trev," I mewled, throwing my head back on my shoulders as another wave of arousal coursed through my body.

"Oh-ho," he said breathily, chuckling and biting his lip. "Good girl."

I knew he disliked when I would deliberately mark his neck, especially if he didn't have the means to cover it with a collared shirt. I giggled, but it was soon drowned by an elongated moan, and I actually heard the smug bastard titter down in his throat. His hand picked up the pace, his fingers sliding in and out in a hooked motion. He continuously rubbed at the enlarged wall inside my body, and I knew my release was bound to be close.

"Fuck," I whispered as I brought my hands to his face, diving to his lips. Our teeth clicked and I seductively ran my tongue over his. I could feel the quickening of his pulse against my fingertips, and I moaned when my stomach fluttered.

I opened my eyes and gasped, moving my hands to have one resting on my thigh and the other on his chest. I shuddered as my orgasm hit me, a silly grin on my face as I bit my lip harshly. I released my moan wantonly, staring straight into his eyes like I knew he loved and I cowered forward as his digits continued to move inside me. With each shock of sensitivity my body jolted and shook. Trevor's muffled chuckle could be heard silently until I giggled throatily and he eased his fingers out of me. He quickly brought them to his mouth and made a show of licking every drop of desire from his index and middle finger.

I stood and beckoned him inside our villa to our bed. Once in front of it, I dropped to my knees, quickly unbuttoning and dragging down his shorts and boxer briefs. His cock sprung to life, bruising red with discomfort and desire. I ran my tongue from the base to the tip, placing a quick kiss to his head. Trevor groaned in appreciation. He loved having me take his cock and he loved the way my mouth had no end when it came to his length. I opened my mouth and eased his cock into it, humming in pleasure at the distinctive taste that was he. He groaned low in his throat, clutching the open sides of his linen shirt. He fumbled with the buttons and quickly gave up, grabbing at the hem and pulling upwards in a swift movement. I sucked on the head, bringing my manicured hands to rest on his thighs. I could feel him shake and I closed my eyes and pushed my head downwards.

"God, Noa," he growled and panted.

I pushed my body on my knees and crawled forward to be closer to his spread legs. I ran my hands up his thighs, gently raking my nails on his hip as I drug them down to his cock. My left hand rested on his shaft and my right hand continued a dangerous path to his sack. I held and applied pressure to his testes, hearing Trevor's grunt of approval. I hollowed my cheeks and bobbed on his length, in tandem moving my hand on his shaft, and gently rolling with the right.

"Jesus, woman!" he heaved when I opened my eyes. He was bringing his head down from having looked up as his hands ran down his jaw.

When he noticed my eyes had opened he smirked as I winked and he shook his head. I brought my left hand to rest on my thigh and I pushed myself up on my knees, pushing my head downwards against the base of his cock. Once I had consumed the entirety of his length, I swallowed around his head, pushing my fingers gently against his perineum.

"No—" he grunted harshly and jolted slightly, biting his lip and shaking his head. "B—Baby please, you have to stop."

I giggled and groaned again as I created suction with my reddened lips to come up for air with a pop. His entire cock was glistening with my saliva and my right hand encased his length, stroking it fast. I stuck my tongue out and slapped his cock on it. He chuckled throatily and I saw the dilation of his pupils. He loved when I canonized his cock, apparently not something his other partners enjoyed doing, but now he had a lifetime of enjoyment and I still had an arsenal of moves to show.

I kissed his head once more and he bended at the waist, bringing his hand to my throat, squeezing gently at the sides as he helped me to a stand. Once I stood, he dove into my lips, pushing his erection against my stomach. I grabbed and stroked it and he broke the kiss, humming, "I said, stop." He smiled against my lips; "We get to conceive another Little Langan tonight, what say you?" he finished, nipping my lip.

I smiled, running my hands up his torso until he released my plump lip, "We've already conceived another Little Langan, papi."

"You think so?" he asked sweetly. If I hadn't been pregnant already, at some point during this trip it would've definitely had happened.

I nodded in return. "I'm pregnant," I whispered, hearing his breath catch in his throat. "Fourteen weeks today."

He pushed his head back, staring longingly at my eyes. His eyes went misty as he grinned, "Don't play me like that, not on my birthday."

I laughed, moving his hands from my throat to my stomach where he pressed gently, feeling the firmness of my already forming belly. His mouth parted and I saw a tear drop from his eyes as he moved his head to look in between us. Now he understood the reason behind my motion sickness. Now he understood my diversion towards alcoholic drinks all through this trip. Now he understood my cravings and constant want for water. He understood it now. Everything made sense to him now.

He moved his chin for his eyes to meet with mine and he smiled, diving into my lips hungrily. His hands moved to my waist briefly, and then to two round globes where he delivered a slap to each, causing me to hiss and break the kiss.

"God, I love you," I husked, rubbing at his jaw.

"And, I love you… both," he snorted. "Oh," he shook his head. "I've been trying to get you pregnant since you came back from WITSEC." I laughed heartily, throwing my head back, "Wait, you were pregnant for the wedding?"

I nodded, reaching down to pull my dress over my head, "What are you going to do about it, huh?"

He smirked, his expression quickly changing, but the mirth and love in his eyes never left. He walked me back to the bed, having me lay and open my legs for him, "I'm going to love you," he said, placing a kiss to my sternum, "and make you come until I can't anymore."

I smiled, running my fingers through his hair. Look at me, falling in love and marrying my boss. How cliché of us...

 **THE END**

* * *

 **A/N** : You guys! This has been a ride, but stick around for the epilogue and a little surprise at the end. Thank you so much for sticking with me throughout this entire journey, and please let me know what you think of this!


	50. Epilogue

_**Epilogue**_

Thirteen years.

That's how long it had been since Trevor and I had said our 'I do's', but if you counted when we had dated and the time apart, sixteen years.

They had been the most happy-filled, fun, exhausting, infuriating, and most loving thirteen years of my life. They had been bountiful thirteen years too, in every aspect of the word. Bountiful in love, experiences, knowledge, and they continued to be bountiful. But, not everything had been smooth sailing in the entirety of our years together. We had hit bumps on the road, had our share of arguments, nights where his silence was deafening, days where my coldness towards him felt like we'd been transported to the coldest part of the earth, but we always managed to come out victorious and stronger on the other side.

We had lost Billings roughly four years back and it had been the hardest on both Theo and I. Billings was the one we always leaned on when we were feeling sad, when we needed comfort, or when we just needed some good, judgment-free loving. Theo and I sought comfort in each other or in Trevor or the boys.

They'd been gems and they knew how much Billings meant to the family and we mourned her and kept her memory alive. Last year, we brought in our newest member, another rescue German Shepherd with the name of Judd. He'd been nine months old when brought to me, but just like Billings, he'd been retired early from his training.

Our brood had grown, and _how_ much had they grown…

Theodora Juliette—our firstborn—was now a beautiful, outspoken, and strong-headed fifteen year old. She had followed my footsteps into playing softball, and like me, her accolades kept growing by the season. Physically, she was the embodiment of me at that age: long, wavy hair, curvy body frame, and wreaking havoc with her father's heart. The only thing that Theo hadn't gotten from me was her personality, which at times it seemed to be completely mine and others, it was as if she was a walking female version of her father.

Then came Oliver Elijah, our now thirteen year old. Much like his father, he had his beautiful blue eyes, and for his age, he was already towering over both Theo and I. I'd birthed another Trevor Langan and as much as I loved it, it _bothered_ me to the core. The only thing I had passed down to Ollie was a little melanin and his wit; otherwise, he was his father's son. Sports were a big thing in our household so while Theo played softball, Ollie indulged in basketball during the winter, and baseball during the summer.

Three years after Ollie; came Maximus Noel. Maximus like Maximus Langan, Trevor's paternal great-grandfather and Noel, like Noel Diaz, my father; he was sure to be the lawyer out of the three. Just like Ollie, he sported Trevor's eyes and for a ten year old, he carried his height too, but this time I'd passed on more than just some melanin. Max was me, and though all three of my children were my favorite, Max and I could laugh at things that Theo, Ollie, and I couldn't laugh at. And, like his brother, he participated in the same sports.

It was beautifully rewarding to watch Trevor and I through our children, and like he once had said, our children were good looking and having two teenagers and a pre-teen in our home was a living testament that parents could never be sane during this time.

Trevor had dropped off our children at Léman Prep where the entirety of the Langan brood currently attended.

Emily was now studying in Boston to follow in her mothers' footsteps, Zachary was a Columbia student, Wallace and Wyatt Langan were fourteen, and Joshua Cabot was ten, just like my Max. He would do school drop-off and afterwards the kids collectively decided with whom they wanted to go home with that day and would walk to our jobs, since we weren't far from their school. They knew when Papa had court and knew when Mami would be working late on a project or event.

I was on my way to Trevor's firm to discuss a particular anomaly with the RBE account. I had parked on the underground garage and used my provided keycard to access the service elevator. I used the same keycard to open the magnet that gave access to the office and I waved to Jeanine. After all this time, she was still with the firm. I walked towards Trevor's office and smiled at his assistant.

"Mrs. Langan, how are you?"

"Hey Gemma, I'm doing great. How are you?"

She sighed, "Busy! Trevor and Robert have a collective case coming up, and the clients are stonewalling."

I cringed, not missing for a second the amount of work those two would put on both Tristan and I. "I remember those days," I tittered. "Jeanine always has migraine medication if you need it."

We both guffawed, "Oh, I learned that rather quickly."

"I'm sure," I responded, running my fingers through my hair. "Is he in?"

She nodded, "Yes, he's on the phone though, but I'm sure he'll end the call as soon as you walk in. You two have a meeting, right? Should—Should I hold the calls?"

I smiled and looked down at the young girl. Gemma had come to Trevor through a temp agency for young mothers. It was up to the employer to whether or not keep them, and Trevor had fallen in love with her agility and eagerness. "Let me ask," I mentioned quickly, turning to knock on Trevor's door.

I pushed it open without waiting for his consent and watched as his face brightened at the sight of me. "Uh, I'm going to have to call you back, Lenny. Yea, something important just came up," he nodded and smiled. "Yes, definitely. Take care," he hung up and stood. "Baby," he breathed out, running his hand down his tie.

I used my thumb to point over my shoulder, "Hold calls?"

"I don't know, should we?" I saw that rogue glint in his eyes; the one that our children would have in their eyes right before using the garden hose to spray either one of us with water, or right before plastering batter all over each other's faces.

I smirked and turned, "Hold calls, unless they're extremely important."

Gemma nodded and smiled, turning in her chair to continue working on her task.

I crossed the threshold and closed the door and when I turned, he was already standing in front of me. He hummed and wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me flush against him. We stared at each other for heartbeats, just basking in the radiance of our love. He smiled down at me, bringing his left hand to my neck while gently rubbing his thumb against my pulse point. I shuddered at the feel of his hand against my skin and he chuckled softly, leaning forward to claim my lips seductively. Even after all these years, we both still possessed the power to make the other putty in our hands. It was infuriating to say the least, but I wouldn't want that to change for the world.

I sighed and pressed my lips thrice more on Trevor's after being released from his hold. I nipped at his bottom lip and forced myself out of the man's embrace, "I came here to work, not to smooch on you, Mr. Langan."

Trevor chuckled and ran his hand through his hair, walking back to his chair, "Who says we can't do both?"

I hummed, sitting across from him, watching him train his stare from my shins to my thighs, and up my torso, "But, what about your wife?"

"Hmm, I know how to make her see my way," he flirted.

"That's what you think. You do know reverse psychology exists…" I tittered.

Trevor shook his head and leaned forward, placing his elbows on his desk, "I love those pants on you, Noa."

I snickered and threw my head back in laughter.

I was wearing cobalt high waist palazzo trousers with a white three-quarter-sleeve bodysuit. My hair was down in loose waves and my makeup was done lightly, "I know, don't they make my ass look amazing?"

Trevor parted his mouth and smiled, but before he could answer my phone begun ringing in my purse. I turned on my waist and leaned to the chair next to me, reaching inside my purse for my phone.

I furrowed my brow and answered. "Noa Langan," I said, watching Trevor sigh and bite his lip. To this day, he enjoyed the idea of my name attached to his.

" _Mrs. Langan, this is Principal Cardenas from Léman Prep._ "

I turned towards Trevor and winked, glancing at my wristwatch. It was barely ten thirty, what could possibly be going on at the kid's school? "Good morning, Principal Cardenas. How can I help you?"

" _Good morning, I have two of your children sitting in my office. I was wondering if you could come down? I'm calling your husband as well, unless_ _ **you**_ _can reach him before I can._ "

"Definitely, we'll be there in… let's say, fifteen minutes?"

" _Perfect! I am so sorry to bother you with this._ "

"No, no, it's ok. I'm sure we'll find out why they're sitting in your office very soon, Principal Cardenas."

" _Thank you_ ," she conceded before hanging up.

Trevor had his brow furrowed, "What's going on, Noa? Why do we have to go to the kids' school?"

I sighed, "I don't know, but let's go. Whatever it is, it sounded important."

Trevor shook his head and grabbed his belongings, standing, and walking out with me.

We rode together in Trevor's Escalade down to lower Manhattan where the school sat. I fidgeted with my wedding set and worried my bottom lip. What the hell did those Langans do to be sitting in the Principal's office?

Trevor noticed my inner turmoil and reached over the console, slipping his hand in mine, taking my place in fidgeting with my wedding set. We parked in the garage near the school and walked together towards the building. Once there, we found our way to the Principal's office. The secretary directed us through and upon entering, Oliver looked at us and hung his head, standing and walking towards the opposite wall, and leaned on it. He had blood on his shirt and hands, _what the hell was going on?_

Theodora on the other hand, had not lifted her head from her shoulders. I sat down next to her, where Ollie had previously sat.

"Mr. and Mrs. Langan, welcome," I smiled and felt Trevor stand behind my chair. "So, one of our teachers had to pry off Oliver from Ezra Emerson—a student in Theodora's grade. Oliver, Ezra, nor Theodora would like to share the reason behind this altercation. Ezra is on his way, with his parents, to the emergency room. Oliver broke his nose and his teeth cut through his bottom lip, he'll need stitches," he finished, gesturing to his lip where Ezra would be requiring stitches.

Trevor sighed through his nose like a bull, "Ollie, do you have anything to say for yourself?"

I glanced at the wall where Oliver was leaning with his head hung and saw as he shook his tussled mane. Trevor sighed once more and before any of us could say anything, Principal Cardenas spoke once more. "Mr. and Mrs. Langan, the Emersons _want_ to press charges against Oliver," he looked down at his desk and grabbed a card, extending his arm for Trevor to take. "This is their number. Theodora commented that you were an attorney as well."

As Trevor had his exchange with Principal Cardenas, I looked at my children.

Oliver was leaning against the wall, gnawing at his bottom lip, an inherited trait from me. His school uniform was bloodstained and askew. What had happened? I looked at Theodora and noticed that her hair was down, _she didn't leave the house with her hair down… she had space buns._ I extended my hand and ran my fingers through her hair, tucking it behind her ear. As her face came to view, I noticed her red cheek and sliced lip.

"Mami, no!" she defended quickly.

I gasped loudly, recoiling my arm from her brown waves. "Trev—Trevor," I heaved.

"Theo!" he grumbled loudly.

"Theodora," Principal Cardenas spoke in unison with my husband. "What happened to your face?"

Her cheeks were tear stained and she looked up at the older gentleman across from us. I felt the anger course through my veins. Who in their right mind had laid a hand on my daughter's face?

Theo looked at me with pleading eyes, "Did Ezra do this to you, Theo?"

Theo nodded slightly and Principal Cardenas shuffled about his desk, grabbing his office phone, and speaking indistinctly. Once he finished, he informed us that both Ezra and Oliver were to be suspended from school. He did not disclose how long it would be for Ezra, but for Oliver, it was to be three days. Today was Wednesday, meaning that Oliver would not return to school until Tuesday of next week, and he was responsible for all the schoolwork missed.

We left together and rode to our home in Jersey City in complete and utter silence. Trevor and Oliver were silent because of their anger, Theodora was silent because of her shame, and I was silent because if I said something, I feared that the boys' anger would seep and invade the cabin of the Escalade. Theo was already grasping at straws and if I wanted to know what had happened, I was the one that needed to steer the conversation.

We arrived at the house and the kids shuffled inside. "Living room. Now," Trevor mumbled under his breath.

I sighed and gave the kids a thin-lipped smile. Theo and Ollie sat next to each other on our plush L-shaped couch. Ollie leaned back and sighed whilst Theo ran her fingers through her hair, "Theo, mami, what happened? And, don't think _for a second_ that you can lie about this, Theodora."

Theo sighed and nodded, "Mami, could we _please_ talk about this in private?"

"No! You don't get to have a choice at privacy, Theo," Trevor grumbled loudly.

"Trevor," I warned, glaring at him.

"Noa, are you shit—"

"Not now. I want the facts, and I want them now. We can discuss the details with Theo later," Trevor parted his mouth and huffed, shaking his head vehemently. "Theo, we can have _that_ conversation alter, but right now one of you better tell us what happened."

Theo and Ollie exchanged glances and Theo smiled lightly, nodding. "We were in between second and third period. It's the only time during school that I see Theo between classes other than lunch. We always tease each other," Ollie chuckled. "I saw Ezra grab Theo by her arm and drag her behind one of the pillars so I followed them. Why would he be touching her like that?" he mused with his eyes narrowed. "They were mumbling to each other and then he pushed himself into her so Theo yelled out 'stop' and she shoved him, but the son of a bitch slapped her."

"Jesus," I said breathily.

"Watch your mouth, Oliver Elijah," Trevor said from behind me.

"Sorry, Papi," he breathed out, leaning forward to look at Theo. "I just lost it, so I punched him. I didn't stop until Theo grabbed my arm and I saw she was crying. Mami, _no one_ touches my sister! You've always said that it's my job to protect her. And, I don't doubt Theo could've done something, she had enough fire in her eyes to react, but you don't touch anyone without their consent, right? Right?"

I glanced back at Trevor with a smirk, noting the curl of his mouth at the corners. He shook his head and placed his hands on his hips sighing. "That's right, Ollie," he said, walking forward and opening his arms to Oliver.

Oliver stood and walked in his father's embrace, wrapping his arms around his father's frame. Trevor kissed and ruffled his hair, "Upstairs, young man. Make sure you leave your clothes in the laundry room."

Ollie nodded, "Am I grounded?"

I giggled and shook my head, "That will be determined on whether or not I can take the blood out of your uniform, Oliver."

He smiled and walked away, not before placing a kiss to Theo's red cheek. Now to have a conversation with Theodora, boy that would be fun…

I placed my hands on my hips and deflated, walking the short distance to sit next to my daughter, "Talk Theo, we're listening."

"Papa," she begun tentatively. "You can't get upset. More than you already are, anyways."

Trevor scoffed and paced the area next to our coffee table. "TJ, if you don't begin explaining why in hell that boy put his hands on you, so help me God…" he finished loudly.

She nodded and bit her lip, wincing at the cut, "Careful, ma."

She smiled, gathering her hair at her crown, and tying it, "We were dating."

"You what?" Trevor asked with incredulity.

"He was my boyfriend," Theo simplified.

"Noa, did you _know_ about this?"

I smiled and shook my head, "No, but it was bound to happen, Trev. She's fifteen… and beautiful."

"Not the time for jokes, Noa."

I rolled my eyes, "Relax."

Trevor mumbled under his breath and paused in front of us. "He's been hinting at 'taking our relationship to the next level', but..." she sighed. "Mami, you said that just because everyone else is doing it, doesn't mean I have to. And, you said that if I didn't feel ready, I didn't have to do anything I didn't want to do," I nodded and placed my hand on her knee, squeezing in comfort. "We had just gotten out of second period and he pulled me aside. He asked me if I had given it some thought—to us having sex. I told him no and that if it was going to be a problem that we could end it then and there. I think, _this_ is what Ollie saw next, he told me that he would do anything to prove to me that I was more than ready for it and I told him no—again—and that we were done. But, he pushed against me and he, he," she sighed, rolling her eyes, "he was hard?"

Trevor seethed, "You're telling me that a fifteen year old boy rubbed his dick on your thigh, Theo?"

I rubbed my brow and braced myself for impact. "When you put it like that, Papi..." she conceded shyly. "Yes, he did, and it wasn't my thigh per se."

"Per se? Where did he touch you, Theo?"

Theo looked at her lap and up at me. "On my pelvis," she whispered, but it was loud enough for Trevor to do a one-eighty and swat his hand, sending flying a vase with flowers.

Theo and I both winced as we heard the crash and shattering of it on the floor. Trevor breathed out harshly, crossing the area quickly. He sat on the coffee table, leaning forward to grab his daughter's face in his hands, "I'm sorry, Theo. I'm so sorry."

Theo let go a few stray tears and she sniffled. "It's ok, Papa. He got what he deserved from Ollie," she tittered, causing Trevor to chuckle as he leaned his forehead against hers. "I shoved him; hard, and he stumbled backwards. He was so mad, though. I'd never seen him like that before," she renewed. "He slapped me hard, it still burns! I guess I busted my lip with the force of it."

Trevor tipped his chin to press his lips against her forehead twice, releasing her as he spoke, "What do you want us to do, Theo?"

She looked at me, her brown eyes shining with confusion. I leaned towards her, kissing her cheek gingerly. Leaning back, I caught her smile, "I want him to be held responsible, but I don't want this to ruin his future. He's a good person and maybe on terrible mistake shouldn't _completely_ ruin his chances. I mean, Aunt Alex and Aunt Casey are always talking and this will be… _sponged_ , right? Because of him being a minor. But, I also want to teach him a lesson."

Trevor and I chuckled in unison, shaking our heads. " _Expunged_ ," Trevor corrected. "Yes, his record would be sealed."

"So, probation?" she tried.

"You are your mother's daughter," Trevor husked, looking at me. "Leniency, but still get the point the across. Oh, the women in my life…"

"We keep you on your toes, don't we baby?" I shot back with a smile. "I'm proud of you, Theo. You fought back and you stuck to your guns, and your brother was right, you could've handled it yourself if he hadn't shown up. That's not love, Theo. No one should _ever_ pressure you into losing your virginity, and you're still so young. You have plenty of time to have sex—"

"Yes, like when you're forty!" Trevor mumbled quickly.

Theo laughed, "That's so hypocritical, Papi!"

"Never mind that, Theodora," I continued. "You do it when you want with someone that you trust and someone whom you know won't devalue your experience."

She nodded, "Gracias, Mami. Te amo."

"Yo te amo más, preciosa," I replied, pulling her into my chest.

"Can I buy that gun now, Noa?"

"Over my dead body," I quickly retorted. "Plus, your son has two weapons that need to be addressed accordingly," I patted Theo's back. "Upstairs, Theo. We'll stay for a little while longer before we leave."

She nodded and pulled herself up, bending at the waist to kiss Trevor's cheek, "Te amo, Papa."

"I'll always love you more, TJ," he smiled, trailing her disappearing form with his eyes. Once Theo was safe out of earshot, he stood and sat next to me, pulling me against his chest and kissing my hair, "I love you."

"I love you too, baby," I replied, turning my face to press a kiss to his jaw.

This was what it meant to be a parent. This was what it meant to parent teenagers. We had done an incredible job raising our children. The values that were instilled in all three of them, we saw them flourish with each passing day. Raising three kids in today's society was hard. Everybody was influencing them in one way or another, but we had done our 'due diligence' as parents.

I snuggled into Trevor's side and sighed, feeling his lips ghost my skin.

"We gave them roots, and now they're growing wings," he mused softly.

"Indeed, baby. Indeed."

* * *

 **A/N:** Thank you all for sticking with me and reading this. Wow! I am a little upset that this story has ended, but oh so happy that you all have enjoyed it. Be on the lookout, because as soon as this chapter goes live, there is a sequel story called 'The Langan Files', a series of one-shots following Trevor and Noa and their kids. They could be chapters that were cut off from the main story or just little things that come into my head. Make sure to read those!


End file.
